Girl, are your parents cooks by any chance?
- Why are you interested?
- I wanted to ask the recipe for your complex cabbage soup.

2 years ago

[best of the day] [top of the week] [best of the month] [random joke]

Girl, your parents aren't Founders by any chance?
- No
- Then where do they get such an O-O-O?

Dad, I always wanted to ask you and mom: why am I the only child in the family?
Because your parents learn from their mistakes.

I am not a chef, but I am often asked for the recipe for my sour cabbage soup.

A decent girl does not wrinkle her nose when you accidentally break out a swear word. A truly decent girl should ask what that word means.

Girl, are your parents terrorists?
- No, but what?
- You're just the bomb.

Yes, Sidorov. Explain to the faculty council why you stole the skeleton from the biology class and threw it into the pot in the cafeteria?
- I wanted the soup to be richer!
- The soup turned out delicious, I don’t argue, but our cooks are now gray-haired!

I have long wanted to ask: why do you and your friends go to the toilet in pairs?
- Well, suddenly there is a maniac in the bushes.
- Yeah, and you are like this: today we have a promotion, two victims for the price of one!

A therapist with illegible handwriting, writing out a prescription, accidentally wrote a poem in Old Japanese.

A young chef from a restaurant was drafted into the army. Assigned to the dining room. The young one asks the senior cook:
- What if the soldiers don't like their lunch?
- Leave it for dinner.

Explain why you have videos of naked women in your cell phone?
- Yes, everything is just dear, I wanted to take a picture, but accidentally clicked on the video!

The boy entered his parents' room without knocking and received an answer to what he wanted to ask.

In a pub on Brighton Beach.
- I wanted to ask you, Khaimovich, why don't you want to get married?
- You know, Abrasha, all my ex-wives sooner or later started barking at me.
- So your last wife Rosochka was a deaf-mute!
- And Rosochka did start mooing at me!

Today I am finally truly happy!
- Why?
Because I do what I want.
- What did you want?
- I wanted to do nothing.

“Boy, what are you doing in my garden?”
- You understand, uncle! One of your apples fell and I wanted to hang it back.

There were two children in the family - one is an optimist, the other is a pessimist. For the New Year, the parents decided to "equalize the children", the pessimist was presented with a toy horse, and the optimist - a bunch of manure. When a pessimist sees a horse, he says: Nuuu ... a horse, gray - but I wanted a white one in apples, a small one - but I wanted a big, toy one - but I wanted a real one !!!
And the optimist says:
- I have a real one! Just ran away!!!

Are your parents Jewish by any chance?
- No, but what?
- Will you take a mower?

Tractor driver:
- WHAT WANTED?
New Russian (stunned):
-I ... I .... this .... I wanted to ask the key at 19 ....
Tractor driver:

A caterpillar tractor caught on a turn of the 600th gelding. A new Russian crawls out of the gelding in a rage, jumps onto the tractor caterpillar, jerks open the door, and there such a tractor driver sits, barely fits in the cab, ambal, PPC ....
Tractor driver:
- WHAT WANTED?
New Russian (stunned):
- I ... I .... this .... I wanted to ask the key at 19 ....
Tractor driver:
- I WRAP UP TO 42 HANDS!!!

Vladimir Vladimirovich, look, you are proposing some bill to the Duma. If the deputies do not agree with you and do not vote for him, then what are your next steps?
- Sorry, but I honestly do not understand your fantasies!

What to do if you wanted to wipe your girlfriend's tears, but accidentally erased his eyebrows?

Sewing is as easy as rolling. But it's still harder to roll. Banal questions about how to get to the library, what time it is, do you want to get acquainted - do not work for a long time. Girls always say no. "But how else to get acquainted?" - asks Anton from the fourth year of social science. No way! It's better not to meet at all! This problem gave rise to a whole movement in America, which a few years ago came to our country. Yes, we are talking about a pickup truck! You can treat this phenomenon differently, but it exists and will not go anywhere in the coming years. The emergence of many pickup trainings and even schools made it possible for girls to feel a new quality of street dating. Even if a girl is skeptical about a pick-up artist, with a good approach, she will still give a number.

All girls love money

Let me tell you right now, it's true. But if you love Lamborghini, this does not mean that tomorrow you will sell your Kalina and go to the salon for Aventador. Starting a business, you dream of earning not 500 bucks, but at least two mowers. And that's just for starters. Why should a girl love poverty? No reason! As there would be no reason for you to refuse a very slender green-eyed blonde, if suddenly she offered you her company. You don't want a scary one, do you? So she does not want the poor thing! Yes, Lambor is much easier to get acquainted with. This is a trump card, without a doubt. Rolling up to a girl on an “Italian bull”, a guy can blurt out something out of place and will be forgiven. Just like you will forgive your green-eyed roe deer for her stupid deed. But what's next? Will you wait until you earn money for a sports car? Not an option! Would you like to rent a car for the weekend? Come on! Just calm down and do your job.

Lonely man in the juice

Many successful young people are lonely for the reason that they have not succeeded in the business of seduction. This is not about low intentions - to fight and quit. Even a mega interesting guy will not be easy to interest the girl he likes with the words: “Hi! Can I meet with you?". And do not even think that her refusal is unfair! What more! You didn't go up to the one with the mess on her head, bad manicure and stockings with a hole under the knee. No, she's beautiful, she's elegant, she made a great first impression on you, a hot young guy. And you come up and ask if she is going to the library? Yes, you should impress too! Otherwise fly! Well-deserved flight! And so, he walks - young and interesting alone - alone - and harbors a grudge against all the beautiful part of humanity for the love of money. And she - strong and independent - sits alone in a kopeck piece in a residential area, because "no, mom doesn't need a son-in-law." And there is no way out! Come on? Even if you were eaten, there are still two ways out!

Sometimes I remember my youth, but much more about what nonsense I carried on dates. And how attentively they listened, and how interesting it was at first, and how painful afterwards. It is a pity that the time is coming when it is already indecent to push heartbreaking thoughts into the minds and hearts of girls. But this is no reason not to be mysterious, creative, funny, romantic, daring and responsible. The list can be supplemented, but not shortened.

It doesn't matter if the girl is fat or not, the main thing is not to be fat

And you don't have to be fat either! But this is an allegory. If the muscles of your creativity, sense of humor and impudence are not tightened, you are boring. Friend, do something about it!

Someone on the ComedyClub suggested that only two theories of the origin of life on earth have a reasonable basis - evolutionary and cosmic: a man came from a monkey, and a woman was thrown from space. The Comedy Club is, of course, not the best place to put forward scientific theories, but it doesn't matter to you. She went from a monkey, from outer space or from your missing rib - in her head there is an hellish cosmos. You don't need to understand it, just remember it. And roll up with the same illogical reprises as the list of items in her bag. This is your minimum task. Like a man to a man. Girls! Girls, you have no complaints! Ivan Sopiga loading...

Sewing is as easy as rolling. But it's still harder to roll. Banal questions about how to get to the library, what time it is, do you want to get acquainted - do not work for a long time. Girls always say no. "But how else to get acquainted?" Anton from the fourth year of social studies will ask. No way! It's better not to meet at all!

This problem gave rise to a whole movement in America, which a few years ago came to our country. Yes, we are talking about a pickup truck! You can treat this phenomenon differently, but it exists and will not go anywhere in the coming years. The emergence of many pickup trainings and even schools made it possible for girls to feel a new quality of street dating. Even if a girl is skeptical about a pick-up artist, with a good approach, she will still give a number.

All girls love money

Let me tell you right now, it's true. But if you love Lamborghini, this does not mean that tomorrow you will sell your Kalina and go to the salon for Aventador. Starting a business, you dream of earning not 500 bucks, but at least two mowers. And that's just for starters. Why should a girl love poverty? No reason! As there would be no reason for you to refuse a very slender green-eyed blonde, if suddenly she offered you her company. You don't want a scary one, do you? So she does not want the poor thing!

Yes, Lambor is much easier to get acquainted with. This is a trump card, without a doubt. Rolling up to a girl on an “Italian bull”, a guy can blurt out something out of place and will be forgiven. Just like you will forgive your green-eyed roe deer for her stupid deed. But what's next? Will you wait until you earn money for a sports car? Not an option! Would you like to rent a car for the weekend? Come on! Just calm down and do your job.

back to contents

Lonely man in the juice

Many successful young people are lonely for the reason that they have not succeeded in the business of seduction. This is not about low intentions - to fight and quit. Even a mega interesting guy will not be easy to interest the girl he likes with the words: “Hi! Can I meet with you?". And do not even think that her refusal is unfair! What more! You didn't go up to the one with the mess on her head, bad manicure and stockings with a hole under the knee. No, she's beautiful, she's elegant, she made a great first impression on you, a hot young guy. And you come up and ask if she is going to the library? Yes, you should impress too! Otherwise fly! Well-deserved flight!

And so, he walks - young and interesting alone - alone - and harbors a grudge against all the beautiful part of humanity for the love of money. And she - strong and independent - sits alone in a kopeck piece in a residential area, because "no, mom doesn't need a son-in-law." And there is no way out! Come on? Even if you were eaten, there are still two ways out!

Sometimes I remember my youth, but much more about what nonsense I carried on dates. And how attentively they listened, and how interesting it was at first, and how painful afterwards. It is a pity that the time is coming when it is already indecent to push heartbreaking thoughts into the minds and hearts of girls. But this is no reason not to be mysterious, creative, funny, romantic, daring and responsible. The list can be supplemented, but not shortened.

back to contents

It doesn't matter if the girl is fat or not, the main thing is not to be fat

And you don't have to be fat either! But this is an allegory. If the muscles of your creativity, sense of humor and impudence are not tightened, you are boring. Friend, do something about it!

Someone on the ComedyClub suggested that only two theories of the origin of life on earth have a reasonable basis - evolutionary and cosmic: a man came from a monkey, and a woman was thrown from space. The Comedy Club is, of course, not the best place to put forward scientific theories, but it doesn't matter to you. She went from a monkey, from outer space or from your missing rib - in her head there is an hellish cosmos. You don't need to understand it, just remember it. And roll up with the same illogical reprises as the list of items in her bag.

This is your minimum task. Like a man to a man. Girls! Girls, you have no complaints!