I don't want to live after the breakup. You broke up with your boyfriend. What to do and how to live on? Think about self development

It seems that I have already moved away from parting, I don’t worry like before, but the desire to do something doesn’t return, sleep doesn’t normalize, I don’t sleep well, I don’t want to go somewhere, how to return joy?

You also need to be sad.

Odessa (Ukraine)

Parting very often breaks the way of life, which has its own

interest in life, goals

Parting very often breaks the way of life, in which there are their own, and after it there is a void that is not filled with what was.

Perhaps it is worth thinking about new goals, new interest and new joy?

I can't pick myself up and start doing what I want

I don't worry like before

- maybe you should ask for help?

Sometimes, for a start, you can lean on another, go through grief, loss, experiences together with him, and then, having become stronger, move on.

lean on someone else?

Odessa (Ukraine)

Now there is no way

lean on someone else?

Mary, I feel for you. How long ago did you break up?

how are you feeling? How do you feel what is happening to you? grc-eka.ru

Once it seemed to me that going through a breakup with a loved one is the worst thing that can happen. So you were there, we did everything together, we had plans for our future life - and suddenly it all goes somewhere.

He leaves with you, with whom we were connected so much: bright love, and periods of alienation, and life together for many years, and a child who loves both of us equally strongly ...

The first reaction - of course, a stupor: what to do? How to live on? My thoughts keep returning to the past: what did I do wrong, what did I do wrong? But time goes by, putting everything in its place. And now what seemed irreparable and terrible becomes a source of strength and experience.

What have I learned by staying with myself?

First, I realized that I am a good mother. We have not made the child a tool for manipulation, we both love our daughter very much, and she feels it. It is thanks to this that it is now easier for her to accept the fact that "dad does not live with us now."

I realized that, it turns out, I can be a generous person! I sincerely tell my daughter how much you love her, how much you miss her! I found out about it when you left.

Second, I'm learning to be myself. There is a time when I can be alone. When I come to an empty apartment - and life seems to freeze for a while. I don't need to rush anywhere, I don't need to do anything...

In these few hours I belong only to myself. And I only do what I want. And that's great. I have never lived alone. Someone always lived next to me. And the fact that now I am learning to live with myself is wonderful and amazing.

Third, I have dreams. Of course they have been before. But now I saw that some of my desires are not dreams at all, but just nonsense. But I still want something, even though you are not around.

And that means that I really need it. These are my real desires. And I don't expect you to do them anymore. I am learning to reach my goals on my own. This makes me stronger.

Fourth, I learn to appreciate what I have. Maybe in hindsight - but it will come in handy for me in the future. Looking back, I see how sincere and patient your love was! I learned how a man can give his all to the woman he loves. And now it was my turn to learn to love just as selflessly.

Fourthly, I finally looked at our relationship from the outside. It was a shock, but thanks to this, I saw how gradually our family turned into some kind of gray daily habit.

And when the pain subsides, I begin to realize what kind of relationship I really want. While you were there, I had no reason to think that something did not suit me, that I wanted to change something. But you left - and life itself put this question before me. And I gradually find the answer to it.

Fifth, in this situation, I managed to remain a woman. And although I sometimes had the thought “why not send everything to the devil’s grandmother” - I didn’t mess up the firewood. After all, making decisions and implementing them is the prerogative of men. At least I think so. Now I know what it's like to just wait and do nothing.

And there are many other people in my life. While you were in my life, I didn’t even suspect that there are a lot of men, that they are different. And that they are ready to show attention to me and take care of me. Easily. Like a friend. This is a pleasant discovery!

And most importantly, your departure left me alone with myself. And this is perhaps the most valuable lesson. Who am I… what am I worth in this life… what do I want to do… who do I want to be with… I had no reason to think about it, because everything in my life seemed to be fine! And when everything collapsed in one day, I had to build my house from scratch. And this is already 100% my life.

And the most important advice

  • I have depression after a breakup. do not want anything. don't want to live

    firstly, GIVE YOUR INSTALLATION - repeat 50 times that you are determined to forget him - because anyway, he will not go anywhere, if this is fate, then you will definitely converge, so you still have time to work on yourself - in any case, you can prove to him that he lost a lot

    secondly, approximately determine the time frame by which you will “forget” him, then check yourself - how did you manage, and how much more is left to endure. . (Usually, with strong self-hypnosis, everything went away after 3 days and I don’t drive - it’s true, you can forget in 3 days, but what are they like - these three days. wow. ((((and on the 4th as good as new)

    thirdly, people still advise for good reason - they correctly say that you need to communicate more, imagine how you would console a friend who got into such troubles ...

    fourthly, load yourself with very responsible work, where you can’t lose heart and wind yourself up - so that there is no time for this. And.. . you know what will happen. YOU WILL BE TRANSFORMED, you will forget about everything that eats and nibbles you now, believe your condition is quite understandable, but nothing will happen to you! ! unless of course you just do it right! It is life that tests us and selects the strongest... remember the films in which the heroine fought for herself, remember everything that inspires you! This is not the end! You just need to survive, as if a broken knee - which heals for several months, and you will be faster and faster. GOOD LUCK! Don't be upset Sun

    first get angry at him (or better at the situation), stop feeling sorry for yourself, take care of yourself, get rid of bitter thoughts, get distracted, do fitness or something else, take your free time. time so that there was no time to be sad.

    It happens to everyone, I know from personal experience, everything passes and we become stronger and wiser. And the second love is even stronger than the first!

    Sources:
    How to bring joy back to life after a breakup
    How to bring joy back to life after a breakup? I already seem to have moved away from parting, I don’t worry like before, but the desire to do something doesn’t return, sleep doesn’t normalize, I sleep badly, somewhere
    http://www.b17.ru/forum/topic.php?id=51686
    How to move on after a breakup
    An article about how to move on after a breakup? - The psychology of relationships!
    http://www.grc-eka.ru/break/spasibo-za-rasstavanie.html
    I'm depressed after a breakup
    Mantra asked a question in the Breakup category and got 14 replies
    http://answer.mail.ru/question/20262584

    (Visited 44 times, 1 visits today)

  • Has your man left you? This happens quite often and many have had to endure the despair and resentment that accompanies such a separation. It constantly sounds in my head, as if on a broken tape recorder: “For what? For what?.. ”Today we will try to at least somehow help you in this situation and tell you what to do so that such a crisis passes as soon as possible.

    Probably every woman at least once in her life faced with such a nuisance as parting with a loved one. And this is really a very, very difficult test even for the strongest woman. And the only question that arises in the head of a woman during this period is how to survive after parting with a loved one? From the outside, this question may seem completely delusional. But those who have experienced this pain themselves will understand the urgency of this problem.

    After all, in fact, the life of a woman after a break with a loved one for some time practically stops. Interest is lost literally in everything - in work, in their hobbies, in children, if they have any, in their appearance, and ultimately in food. Fortunately, in most cases this negative period does not last that long - two to three weeks, after which the woman begins to slowly recover. But, alas, this is far from always the case - some of the fair sex for a very long time fail to pull themselves together. And this already threatens with quite real problems - for example, prolonged depression.

    In no case should this be allowed - you need to start acting. Folk wisdom says that grief cannot be helped with tears. And this is true, unfortunately or fortunately. So wipe your tears, throw out your handkerchiefs, and forward to a brighter future. Of course, no one requires you to sing songs and give your radiant smiles in the very first days after the break.

    Do you want to cry? Cry! Do you want to kill all the dishes in the house? Cheers, then buy a new one. Does your soul require to cut to shreds all things reminiscent of the former? Scissors to help you! Psychologists call this state a surge of negative emotions. And this is the most important stage on the path to recovery, which means that it is necessary to go through it. Yes, and you will be much easier, you'll see!

    Realize what happened

    The first few days after the breakup, the woman cannot realize what happened. In psychology, this phenomenon is called the “period of denial”. No, with her brains, a woman perfectly understands what happened, but on an emotional level she refuses to believe in it. And until she believes, she will not be able to break out of this emotional state of hers.

    Roared? Now sit down, stop crying for at least a minute and tell yourself the following - you, or rather, with you, broke off relations. The rupture of any relationship is almost always difficult to endure, and with two partners at once in a pair. And despite the fact that it was your ex-man who broke off the relationship, it is hardly easier for him now than for you. Oddly enough, but for most women, this gloating thought warms the soul. And that is true - you are not the only one to suffer? You have to take this current situation from this point of view.

    Your subconscious mind refuses to believe in what is happening and no exhortations and attempts of common sense to get through to you do not help? Well, you have to act more drastically. To begin with, remove from prominent places all things reminiscent of your ex-man. All the same folk wisdom says that out of sight - out of mind. If your hand doesn’t rise to throw everything away, then at least collect everything in one box and put it away.

    Of course, in the event that your husband left you, it will not be easy to do this - you can’t stuff the whole apartment into a closet. But you can also find a way out in this situation - go to your mother for a couple of days or even go to a rest home. By the way, at the same time change the situation, which will also only benefit you, mind you.

    Have no illusions

    Psychologists say that the most difficult time immediately after the breakup is the first six weeks. It is important that this time period can be significantly reduced only if you firmly decide for yourself that this is the real end. Understand - let him go! Let it not be your fault, but only his decision. Don't hold back your tears. Cry enough, but do not forget to repeat to yourself a thousand times: “Yes, gone! He's gone forever!" And now, uttered for the thousand and first time, this phrase will once again cease to dominate you.

    And with this, as a rule, very serious problems arise - almost every woman for a very long time hopes that a man will come to his senses and will definitely return to her, realizing what he has lost. And as long as a woman thinks about this, and not about how to start a new life after parting, she will not be able to get rid of mental anguish.

    Pay attention to this! Such an understanding of the current situation is quite important. Therefore, if you manage and understand that this is really the end, then it is already worth a lot. Consider that this is the first victory, the first battle won in the war in the name of yourself. Become a strong person - a woman who knows how to cope with difficulties. And parting for her is nothing more than another, completely eliminated problem. You can get back on your feet and continue on your way, no matter what happens.

    And if you continue to wait for the return of your prince, you will continue to wear down your already exhausted psyche. Is it worth it? As practice shows, less than a third of all men who broke off relations on their own initiative return. In addition, it is very important to ask yourself one simple question - do you really need this return? And more importantly, answer it honestly. After all, you perfectly understand that the betrayer once is likely to betray again. Are you ready to live permanently, as if on a powder keg?

    How to reduce pain?

    Do not forget that your main goal is the most painless way out of this failed relationship. First of all, you must maintain your individuality and respect for yourself. And if you yourself became the initiator, then, for sure, you do not want to suffer remorse and want to forget about everything as soon as possible. In that case, read on:

    • Diary

    In the event that you have never been particularly talkative, and sharing your problems with someone is somehow not in your habits, then you should start a personal diary. The diary is perhaps one of the best and most effective methods to get rid of all sorts of grievances, sad memories and depressing thoughts once and for all. You can easily get rid of the burden of piled problems.

    Your diary is not only an excellent listener and interlocutor who is always with you in difficult moments of parting, but also a wonderful psychotherapist. In addition, the thought written on paper becomes clearer and more precise and easier to understand. As soon as you pour out all your grievances, insults and torments, they will immediately turn into the past and go away from you. Emotions and experiences no longer dominate the soul and seem to release you to freedom. You seem to take off, and calmness, self-control and common sense return to you again.

    Very often you can hear the advice to burn everything written, thus trying to get rid of the negativity. But many psychologists say that you will already throw out the negative on paper, and re-reading about your current emotional state later, when everything stabilizes, will not only be very entertaining, but also useful. Just be careful that the diary does not fall into the wrong hands - there is no need for outsiders to delve into your dirty laundry, right?

    • openness

    Being alone with your problems is hard enough. This will prolong the recovery period after a breakup even longer. Don't lock yourself in. Tell your problems to as many people around you as possible. Psychoanalysis calls this approach the "method of dissipating grief." After a fairly short period of time, you will feel sufficient lightness, as if a stone has fallen from your soul. Chat with your girlfriends. They will listen to you and give you some advice.

    • Self talk

    It's always nice to talk to a smart person, isn't it? And besides, it is also very useful! Sit comfortably in front of a mirror. Then try to talk to yourself. Tell yourself about your problems. Psychologists say that this kind of therapy is very successful in dealing with depression and stress.

    By the way, while practicing near your mirror, end the session with a facial expression lesson. Make yourself a funny face, and your mood will immediately go uphill. Just try to convince yourself that the problem is not worth a damn. And with such a trifle, you can definitely handle it.

    • Strengthen your body

    Remember: our mental and mental state is directly related to our body. By playing sports and training your body, you will be able to cope with other problems. Work until you lose momentum. It doesn’t matter how you load yourself: you can do strength training, running, fitness, or start a general cleaning with furniture rearrangement in all rooms and general repairs.

    Doesn't matter! The main thing is that you exercise physically. In some cases, it is useful to shout loudly or sob uncontrollably. The main task is to let off steam, let negative emotions come out, do not accumulate inside you, do not store them, otherwise they will gradually destroy you from the inside. Yes, and at night you will sleep much better - you simply will not have the strength to cry into the pillow.

    • Work! Work! Work!

    Plunge into the work with your head. It's just a magical method for solving all problems. Parting with a loved one will pass much faster and more imperceptibly for you. Actively working, you will forget about your troubles and problems, distract from them. Yes, work has another invaluable plus - it is not only psychotherapy, but also a way to earn money, which means you get a double benefit. And maybe even a promotion up the career ladder.

    • Treat yourself

    Not only psychiatrists, but also other doctors are confident that regular exercise helps relieve stress. Better get over yourself and go to a fitness club or gym. Don't forget fresh air. Nature also has healing properties. Go for a walk in the park. Treat yourself! Reread a book you love or watch a good movie. Pay attention to yourself.

    Dress smartly, even if you don't want to go anywhere that evening. Just stay at home and cook what you like for dinner. Or go to friends, take part in fun and noisy parties - this way you will distract yourself from sad thoughts. Your life should not stop and freeze. There must be events and changes.

    • Meditation

    Did you know that meditation is a great way to replace the never-drying rivers of tears with something. A meditative state, calm and relaxed, allows you to achieve peace and clarity. During meditation, recovery occurs several times faster than even during sleep. And it does not matter that you have not come across this before - go to study, fortunately, there are a great many such centers.

    • Nutrition

    is also an important point in the treatment of depression and depression. You must always eat right. Only in the cinema the main character, after another parting, is saved by a ton of chocolate and a pood of marmalade. In life, it is better to give up spicy and sweet altogether if you want to quickly return to normal and forget about depression. All kinds of fruits and vegetables, mineral water and natural juices will help you and are simply necessary for a speedy recovery. But if you want to prolong the life of your neurosis, then continue to eat kilograms of cakes, singing all this with red wine.

    • spring-cleaning

    Throw out everything superfluous from your house, even that which is in no way connected with your ex-man. Do you want to start a new life? So, it is necessary to part with any reminders of her. By the way, ideally it would be nice to do repairs and replace furniture. Of course, if your financial capabilities allow it.

    Goals and achievements

    You should recover from the loss and take care of yourself. Set yourself the goal of returning to a new life - a life without him. Try to remember who you were before him, what occupied and worried you to a greater extent, what you would like to do, and what dreams you put aside then. Today you have a rare and wonderful opportunity to express your personality by following your desires.

    You should not dream of revenge - such a reaction will not give you the desired relief, but will only reopen old wounds. It should be understood that a smart, strong and adult woman, personalities and personality, able to endure a breakup. And in general it is enough to think about it and constantly cry!

    Remember all the insults that he inflicted on you during your relationship with him, all the prohibitions. Now put on the red short dress that has always been your favorite, and he forbade you to wear it, because it seemed vulgar to him. Call the best friend he forbade you to talk to because he said she was stupid. And go for a walk and have fun in a club or somewhere else. Be sure to be with your best friends and girlfriends, to whom he was jealous of you and with whom he forbade communication. Life is great without it! It's even much better! So don't procrastinate and start your new and, most importantly, happy life!

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    Similar content

    Parting is a little death

    It doesn’t matter who is to blame for the fact that you broke up with a guy. What to do and what not to do in order to survive this difficult and unpleasant moment of life?

    Psychologists have calculated that the period of adaptation after the stress associated with separation or divorce lasts from several months to a year. Resentment, anger, hatred, sadness and longing - a variety of feelings are covered in waves in the first two or three months after a quarrel. At times like these, it seems like the pain will never go away. But it's not. Over time, you will remember the object of your sadness less and less, and later the feelings will come to naught, only indifference will remain.

    Alone with myself

    Broke up with a guy. What can you do to ease the pain of loss? There are no universal recipes for this, everything is individual. If you want to laugh - laugh, cry - sob uncontrollably. Treat yourself to a chocolate bar, a new dress, a new way of life. Sign up for a pool, learn Chinese, learn to drive a car, play the guitar. Most importantly, do not let your offended and wounded "I" withdraw into itself, despair, become discouraged. Speaking of hobbies: it has been noticed that a person who has a hobby, whose life is interesting and varied, is much less dependent on another. Even if your love is unearthly, even for life. Filling all the free space with one person, you will soon pay for it, you will be rewarded with loneliness and disappointment. This approach deprives you of individuality, makes you uninteresting and boring for another person.

    You are alone

    Well, if you yourself were the initiator and broke up with the guy. What to do when he left you, when the deceit and betrayal of the dearest person is strangled. The answer is simple. You just need to remember that life has already given you the most important and necessary person - it's you yourself. It is important to realize that you already have yourself, and you are not bored with yourself, and even, on the contrary, it is fun and interesting to conquer new life horizons, albeit without a person who did not understand, who did not appreciate. Perhaps the insidious traitor will still return, but now we need to think about something else. About how to console, warm and caress your "I", cheer up and prepare for a new relationship. Of course, now it seems that this is impossible, that no one is needed. Or, on the contrary, trying to “knock out a wedge with a wedge”, you rush from one new relationship to another. Both of these are incorrect. Firstly, everything will come with time, a real feeling will come when you become a self-sufficient interesting person, with your hobbies, values, with your habits, with your life. That's when love will knock on your door. Secondly, rushing headlong into a new relationship, you are unlikely to find what you are looking for. Comparing and disappointing, even more entangled in yourself, you hurt your current passion. And this person is not to blame - he just happened to be next to you at the wrong time. No, first you need to understand yourself and your life.

    Work on mistakes

    Yesterday everyone thought you were the perfect couple, and today you broke up with your boyfriend. What to do in order not to go crazy from a pile of thoughts and a load of grievances? You cry and can't calm down. Stop! Stop beating yourself up. Call a friend for a heart-to-heart talk, go to the movies alone or with friends, or enjoy shopping for the soul. Even a trifle bought for yourself by your beloved can brighten up the situation, whether it is a cream or bath foam, new shoes or perfume. Arrange a themed bachelorette party in the style of "sorry - goodbye" with your friends. Don't deny yourself anything right now. If you want to eat a whole cake and a kilo of your favorite sweets - eat it, if you want to sing karaoke in front of a large audience, having not the best vocal abilities - sing. Dance and smile, laugh, relax, read, embroider and appreciate every moment of life. And very soon life will smile at you.

    What to do after divorce

    The situation is much worse when the family breaks up. Especially when there are children in the family. But even here it is important to calm down and realize that divorce is not the end, but more often even the beginning. The beginning of a new life, a new happiness, where there is no place for tears and longing. Children are always better in an incomplete family, where it is calm, safe and fun, than in a complete one, where parents swear, giving rise to a feeling of fear and insecurity in their children. All of the above tips will help turn the tide here too, with the only difference: in addition to yourself, it is important to cheer up the children who are most acutely experiencing such periods, to support them, making it clear that, in addition to the separation of mom and dad, everything in their life will remain on its own. places. For them, parental involvement is now more important than ever.

    What is taboo

    The end of a relationship, separation, separation or divorce. What to do, figured out. And here is a short list of what you can’t do, even if you really want to:

    Sometimes sleep together;

    Cry, beg to return;

    Blame yourself for breaking up;

    be imposed;

    I hope these tips will help you go into your bright future with your head held high.

    1. You need to understand that very rare relationships last your whole life!
      Sooner or later, some kind of discord or rupture may occur in you, and you will part.
    2. There must be an understanding that in this world, in principle, there is nothing so super stable that it would never go away and collapse.

    Understanding this 1 piece of advice from a psychologist on how to get over a breakup with a loved one greatly reinforces your knowledge.

    2. Find your favorite activity that you want to do and be passionate about wholeheartedly and with great passion

    • With regards to your life in general, finding your occupation that you want to do, you want to live and be passionate about it - it strongly reinforces you emotionally and from all sides!
    • Having it, you will not be so jarred and thrown into a panic at some kind of loss, even if you broke up with your loved one.
    • Your favorite hobby, occupation, your own path, the energy and passion invested in it - recharge you very much, give you a purpose in life, give a feeling of pleasure and enjoyment from life.
    • Thanks to them, you forget about the gray everyday life, completely penetrate the process, forgetting everyday trifles and breaks. You no longer worry about what to do if you get dumped or how to get over it.
    • Having broken the relationship, now you can fully immerse yourself in your favorite business and fully stay and grow with it further.
    • For example, it can be your projects, business ideas, events, your creativity, financial plans, hobbies and favorite sports. Who cares what.

    Always remember your favorite hobby and passion, put it in the first place now, and then you will no longer need the advice of a psychologist on how to survive a breakup with your girlfriend or young man.

    3. Realize that relationships in any scenario cannot be a mission and goal in life

    1. Social programming suggests that supposedly relationships is the most important thing in life. That is, people make building relationships the main component of life. This is a very common thing that can be seen now.
    2. She's so Hollywood and from the movies or from some hidden childhood dreams. It occurs in both men and women. And if you do not get rid of this illusion, you will still need the advice of a psychologist on how to survive a breakup with a loved one.
    3. There is another wrong belief among people. People come to their soulmate as if under the bosom of a tree from work or study with the conviction "and here it will be good for me."
      And if this happens in your head, then, as a rule, this does not justify hopes.
    4. Sooner or later the illusions will collapse. To some extent, people can create this illusion for each other, then it all crumbles to smithereens.

    Relationships are definitely important.

    In them we can realize ourselves, allow another person to realize themselves, establish emotional contact with a partner, make our own and his life easier.

    But in general, they cannot be a mission.

    Relationships in any scenario cannot be a mission in life!

    Illusions of girls

    On the part of girls, such a thing is present in the head more often. And therefore, they often need help and various advice from a psychologist on how to survive a breakup with a beloved man.

    Girls elevate relationships to a higher rank because they have such a biological factor as a family and a child.

    Your jamb is that you had to be distracted from clinging hard to relationships and making them a goal in life.

    This will only make it worse for you, because sooner or later the illusions will begin to break, and you will again think about what to do when your loved one has left you.

    4. Don't let yourself slide into an emotional hole after a breakup.

    1. It is very important when such breaks occur. and critical moments, it is not to let yourself slide into an emotional hole. Some people get depressed. You can learn about ways to get rid of depression. They can last not one day, but even a week or two. This can really undermine you.
    2. Emotionally, the problem can be quite trifling. But, for example, a man can so emotionally slide into this gap that he will have a desire to go to the mountains, become a monk and do nothing else in this life or go headlong into business, forgetting about women altogether.
    3. Although it's not really all that serious.. Anything happens. Do not wind yourself up, do not make an elephant out of a fly and know everything about how to survive a breakup with a girl after a long relationship or many years of marriage.

    5. First solve the psychological problem: do not go to extremes and run to look for a new partner

    After a breakup, you may get the feeling that you supposedly need to solve everything at once right now.

    Problems need to be dealt with as they come up.

    You don't have to decide everything at once.

    First find harmony with yourself and solve the problem inside

    If you have an unstable emotional state, depression, then first deal with it.

    Some people go to extremes after a breakup and quickly run to look for a new partner.

    And this is supposed to be the solution to the problem. This supposedly closes questions about how to survive the pain of parting with a loved one.

    Is this a solution?

    What mistakes do people make?

    People simply patch up their spiritual wound with a band-aid, looking for a replacement rather than dealing with themselves.

    This throwing from one extreme to another does not end with anything good.

    Accept the state in which you are now, see it and say to yourself: “Yes, now I am not quite in harmony with myself after the breakup. Well, nothing, I’ll first resolve this issue, and then we’ll see.”

    Remember this and no longer need the advice of a psychologist on how to survive a breakup with your husband.

    6. What Your Brain Can Do to You: The Broken Record Analogy

    • All your memories of past love when everything was good, bloomed and smelled - it's just an appearance.
      If that balance had been preserved, then it would have been true. And so it is an illusory appearance. It's like a broken record, which is also broken.
    • How is your brain playing with you? When you had a break and there were a lot of jambs that you don’t even really want to remember, your brain throws this hackneyed record at you.
    • You yourself put this broken record in your head, where it is no longer an even melody that plays, but an incomprehensible rattle sounds, a pathetic likeness of a melody and some unpleasant sounds.
    • This plate no longer needs to be repaired.!
      You just need to find what you really need!
    • Don't even try to come back. It's not worth it.
      Approach the situation soberly, and you will know everything about how to start living after parting with your loved one.

    7. Let yourself go forever: there is nothing left to decide, no need to cling

    Let yourself go forever.

    Understand that there is nothing and no one to resolve.

    Some of you screwed up and it is important to understand that this is normal.

    As painful as it may feel, give yourself the opportunity to leave forever.

    Just like your partner gives himself this opportunity.

    Every girl and every guy gives himself this opportunity.

    Understanding this will close your worries about thinking about how to get over the breakup with your loved ones.

    8. Choose to be cool and not needy, remove expectations

    1. A person who does not need is one who does not cling to other people, tends to give more than receive and never expects anything from this life! Strive to be.
    2. A person who does not need does not think about what you will have in the future (even if there is a 99% guarantee, you do not tell others). You can say: "Yes, I have such plans ...". You're going to do it, but you don't live it.
    3. You take what you have for now but you never expect something to happen in the future, good or bad. It's useless.
    4. Those things that you can cling to in life can be so ephemeral and destructible.
    5. your reality should not be based on something external!

    A person who does not need does not need both things and people equally! The paradigm is that they are with them, but there is no fear of loss at all!

    A person who does not need never asks questions about how to live after parting further.

    A strong person is only glad that weak people themselves leave his life.

    It is harder for a woman to live like this, but it is possible. You don't have to hang on to people.

    Women have a natural need for a man who will protect her, take care of her, they cling to men. This is their jamb!

    On our site you can also read about how to get rid of attachment and love addiction.

    9. In the next six months or a year, completely change the perception of relationships

    • After your breakup, do not immediately cling to a new person and do not try to make him immediately yours for a very long time.
    • Not to be confused with not communicating with anyone at all and not getting to know each other. No, you are still chatting and getting close to new people, enjoying the attraction between you.
    • But there should not be this desire to make a person his property for some long time.
    • You must remove the time frame where you begin to unconsciously drive a person.
    • Live like this for the next six months at least after the break. Then, after six months, based on internal sensations, you can again return to a long-term relationship with one girl (man).

    A subtle point to be implemented

    Replace the desire to make a person your property with the desire to make him happy.

    The best thing you can do for a partner is to let him live life to the fullest, and you will be there with him when he and you want it.

    You still sincerely love your partner, but do not try to keep him in any way.

    You must live your life and give your partner complete freedom of choice.

    Implement this perception and no longer worry about how to survive a breakup with a lover or your secret crush.

    The difference between healthy and unhealthy needs

    1. There shouldn't be any border and understanding that the person is yours.
      And then you can always go further in terms of developing your spirituality, your level of happiness and harmony.
    2. Yes, you may have a certain percentage of neediness in new relationships, but this healthy neediness - when you just want to see a person(no matter how you spend your time). Just want to be together.

    10. Ask yourself: “Are your feelings and the image of your ex-partner real, or is it your subjective perception?”

    Ask yourself questions:

    1. Is it real that your ex gives you some feelings, or is it your subjective perception that draws them like that, making him special?
    2. If a guy's perception of an ex-girlfriend as "special", "giving everyone love" and "enhancing well-being" was real, then why don't all guys perceive her that way?
    3. Why doesn't any of the other people on the planet now around his ex-girlfriend feel better about it as a guy?

    Answer

    The way a guy perceives his ex-girlfriend as being so cool is his personal subjective perception of the girl.

    No one else sees her that way except him.

    All other people see the same girl, the same appearance, her same face, but their well-being does not improve in any way!

    And it is very important to realize this in order to close the worries about how it is easier to survive parting with a loved one.

    You yourself draw an addition to the image of the former, it does not come from him in any way

    1. The guy is just attached to those old emotions, tactile sensations and past pleasures that they gave each other. His perception paints her somehow special, as if she has a halo over her head.
    2. Similarly, one can say about former men, for whom women continue to dry unrequitedly. Your remaining love after a breakup is only your personal subjective appearance.
    3. You yourself and your perception of feelings draws such an addition to the former person. This addition itself does not come from your ex-partner.
    4. This image that your perception paints for you does not exist in reality. Keep this in mind and close all your questions about how to survive the pain of parting with a married man or someone with whom sooner or later you would have to part.

    11. Your affection is tested for the feelings and sensations that you experienced before with a partner, and not for the person himself.

    Understand that you are attached to the feeling, not to the person himself.

    This feeling is drawn by your personal subjective perception.

    Understand this and you will feel much better.

    ask yourself:

    1. Why don't you feel this way about yourself?
    2. Why does it occur only in relation to other people?

    The answer is that you just don't love yourself.

    People do not love themselves and, as a result, need outside help, they ask for advice from a psychologist on how to survive a breakup with a husband, boyfriend or female person.

    12. Love yourself truly

    When you fall in love with yourself for real, your total love will be much stronger than the feelings for the former person.

    Your love for yourself will be the strongest and strongest. No feelings can absorb and bind you.

    And then you will already forget about attachment to feelings, you will give more to this world.

    And then people will start reaching out to you.

    Now you know everything from psychology on the topic of how to survive a breakup with a loved one, and you don’t need any forums.

    If you integrate these understandings into your life, then thoughts like “would rather move away after a painful breakup” will no longer arise in your head.

    You will remove a lot of pain and suffering from relationships and begin to look at things more objectively.

    This is your life, make the right choice!