How to survive a divorce after many years of marriage - advice from psychologists. Divorce after years of marriage Why do people get divorced after 10 years of marriage

It's one thing when you break up after 3 months, and completely different after 10 years. In the first case, in a couple of weeks you will definitely be fine, but in the second it seems that the whole world has turned upside down, and life will never be the same. We have selected 12 effective life hacks that will help you survive a breakup after a very long time.

  1. Let the feelings cool down. Once everything happened, it is difficult to control yourself. You just want to attract attention and get a portion of comforting advice. But the best way out is to stop and breathe. Do not write angry posts on social networks and do not call friends: just give yourself time to cool down. In a fit of hatred and aggression, you can say a lot of unpleasant things for which you will be ashamed.
  2. Put a point. Do not think that after a long relationship you will not have to share property. You just need a last conversation in which you will discuss everything, and try to stay on friendly terms. This will make it much easier for you to get over the breakup. Plus, you can agree on who the pets will move in with, and how you will divide the “jointly acquired”.
  3. No nostalgia. Here is the same framed photograph that takes you to “that happy day”, here is the jewelry he gave, here is “the same song” on the radio. If you don't stop treating every single thing in the house like this, you'll just go crazy. Put all the gifts in a box and put as far away as possible in the closet. Technique may be an exception: but get rid of it if you wish.
  4. One day rule. If you still need a day of nostalgia, do not deny yourself this. Take a day off from work, turn off your phones, stock up on handkerchiefs, and start your day of saying goodbye to past relationships. Cry, watch sad movies, listen to "your" songs, look at photo albums. But all this is just one day. And not a minute more. Then go back to point #3.
  5. Let go of prejudice. Allow what was previously not allowed: for example, some kind of extreme hobby or a banal trip to a nightclub. Now no one will tell you what dress to wear and which of your girlfriends to be friends with or not to be friends with. And now only you decide how to spend the weekend or weekday evening. There is nothing wrong with your young man caring and worrying about you, just now you can enjoy independence.
  6. Have a reset day. Surely by the third week after breaking up, you have brought yourself to the extreme stage of apathy: you don’t want anything, you want to lie down and cry. Take advantage of this mood, but for peaceful and productive purposes. Get up at lunchtime, cook a delicious meal, sit on the couch with a cool book or series of books, and turn off your head. By the evening, you will surely go into the experiences of the heroes and forget about your own.
  7. Write a letter to your ex. Feel free to express yourself, you will never send this letter to him. Write everything: about how bad he is, and about how you miss him, and about what is in your heart right now. After such psychotherapy, it remains only to burn the letter, and with it all the feelings that have appeared in your soul. Just do not re-read what you wrote! Otherwise, the entire therapeutic effect will go down the drain.
  8. Start living. It seems to you that you are the most miserable person on the planet, but try to look at the situation from a different angle - you have time that you can devote to yourself and only yourself. For example, go to another city or country for the weekend, rent an apartment or the best hotel and just relax by turning off your phone.
  9. Be free from public opinion. Don't try to keep track of your ex's new crushes. Nothing good for you, believe me, it will not end. And don't insult him on social media: be human. You need to get rid of the negative, and not cultivate it in yourself. You will not get any satisfaction from the conversation “the fool himself”, but there is a risk of earning a nervous breakdown.
  10. Be honest with loved ones. Tell your relatives and friends about what happened: it is better for them to find out the truth from you than to guess. This is especially true when you have a common company. No need to win anyone over to your side - over time, you will be able to communicate in a common team if you want to. Do not give friends ultimatums - they are not to blame for your breakup and love you both.
  11. Change your image. Go to a beauty salon and radically change yourself. Do you want to dye your hair blonde? Dare! Do you want a new trendy haircut? No problem! Even if you change your mind later, it's just hair that will grow back. Just do what you've always wanted to do. A new image always gives strength, so this trip is also a kind of therapy.
  12. Go on a date. Even if it seems to you that all the men around you are just losers, unworthy of paying attention to them. Even if you "only need him." Nobody talks about anything serious, but a little flirting won't hurt you. This will help to believe in yourself and in your own attractiveness, which will significantly increase self-esteem.
  13. Be active. Plan all your free time literally by hours and minutes! A movie premiere, an exhibition opening, a street food festival, a trip out of town, a new club or restaurant, shopping with a friend, meeting new people. You shouldn't have a moment to just lie on the couch. Spend all your time with hobbies and hobbies. Thus, you will get out of a protracted depression much faster - there will simply be no time for suffering!

People create families, but at the same time get divorced. Such a process has become commonplace for the modern world, there is nothing surprising in the fact that people disperse. Is it good or bad? No one can say for sure what pros and cons a person teaches during a divorce. Someone begins to live better, someone vice versa - worse. It is necessary to consider all situations of divorce and understand what the consequences may be, as well as possible causes.

Divorce after one year of marriage

The first situation is a divorce after a year of marriage. What can be said here? This is one of the most dangerous periods when the risks of divorce are simply maximum. Why is this happening? In fact, everything is extremely simple. People, being fascinated, can run to the registry office after a month of dating. Of course, the whole period when a person is perfect in your eyes lasts a couple of months. Then a lot of problems start. Now you see all the flaws that you can hardly come to terms with. You are likely to encounter a number of the following problems:

  • You will start arguing endlessly.
  • Very often there will be disagreements on any occasion.
  • Interest in each other will disappear, as there will be no common topics for conversation, hobbies.

In a word, if a divorce after one year of marriage still occurred, do not despair. You made the right decision, as further relationships with a person do not make sense.

2, 3, 5, 10 years of marriage and divorce

Now you can consider four dates, or rather four numbers, indicating when the divorce occurred. A brief analysis of the situation and an explanation of the problems will be given:

  • Divorce after 2 years of marriage occurs for the same reason that was described in the case of one year. In a couple of years, people can get to know each other. In the end, their interests may simply not converge, and they will have to take such a step so that there is still an opportunity to become happy in life.
  • Divorce after three years of marriage this is one of the first things. What could happen and why people got divorced? Three years is already a period, so the option with “didn’t agree on the character” is unlikely to work. Here, most likely, there is simply a change in people, their thinking. Sometimes this happens and it turns out that the spouses do not find in each other what they were looking for. By the way, the situation with treason is also possible, for three years sometimes a person gets bored with relationships with his wife or husband and he goes to start secret romances. It becomes clear that divorce after 3 years of marriage this is a common occurrence that can be found in the case of every tenth family.
  • What if we consider divorce after 5 years of marriage? This is already a deadline and it's just stupid to talk about non-convergence of characters. There may be other reasons behind this. Sometimes people just get tired of living together in terms of the fact that you constantly have to give in to something. Divorce is initiated more often by men. They experience discomfort, and when children appear, they generally lose control and panic. This is where divorce ideas come from. Or maybe just one of the spouses changed, which then surfaced and everything did not go as planned.
  • Divorce after 10 years of marriage it would seem impossible, but is it? In fact, even such a period cannot become an obstacle to parting. Again, the main initiators of divorce are men. In general, 10 years of marriage is at least one child in the family. Probably everything is there for happiness. But what can change? First of all, a man may have another woman. This is a very well known and common reason. However, sometimes the problem is also that a person has simply changed in character, and he has become uninteresting in living together with you.

Divorce after 15, 20, 25 and 30 years of marriage

Now those moves of living together that, it would seem, simply cannot imply divorce will be considered. In fact, too many years of living together - this is children, and a lot of experienced difficult situations. In this case, people know everything about each other. But sometimes this is the main reason.

  • Divorce after 15 years of marriage this is, surprisingly, a pattern. The thing goes like this. A man, and again, most often a man, simply falls in love with another woman. Although, a similar situation can also develop with female representatives, but still the first option is much more common. Sometimes the character changes very dramatically and everything in the family goes downhill.
  • Divorce after 20 years of marriage it is most likely just some kind of passion of a person for another woman or man. A husband can fall in love with someone younger, just like a wife. Divorce in this case is rare, since falling in love does not last long, and then everything returns to living together.
  • Divorce after 25 years of marriage should be something incredible and non-existent, but it is not. Of course, all the reasons listed above can be attributed to this option. However, if you think more broadly, you can learn a few more important lessons. For example, it happens that people live for 20 or 40 years without love, constantly quarrel, but it suits them and no one is going to change anything. Whether this is good or bad is up to each individual to decide. But you should not drag out so much time, because it is better to let go of a person so that there is an opportunity to become happy.
  • Divorce after 30 years of marriage is a very common occurrence among people who have studied their soul mate up and down. Now their life may seem too boring and monotonous for them. They try to change everything through divorce. It should be noted that very rarely it is possible to change something radically. There are even cases when people get divorced, but after a couple of months they come back and sign, because they understand that in 30 years they have become the closest and dearest to each other.

The cases under consideration with divorces cannot be stereotyped at all. Everyone in the family has their own problems, which become the reasons for divorce. The main thing to remember is that if you live together, try to save your family.

Divorce will never make you happier if you are already enjoying life with the person you are married to.

If you knew from the start how to behave in a family.

Even more unions would be lifelong if each was concluded deliberately and at a time when both partners are really ready for such a relationship.

Main reasons

Who doesn’t have acquaintances, from meeting with whom they twitch and spoil their mood for a long time?

When to the second half pile of claims(it is possible that even voiced and discussed more than once, but did not bring the desired result), then communication with her even on neutral topics often provokes the same reaction.

As a result, divorce becomes the only way to maintain a normal psyche and even prevent crime.

Why do women get divorced?

Often, ladies hold on to the bonds of marriage to the last, fearing to be divorced for a thousand and one personal reasons. What can be the last straw for initiating a divorce process:


In what cases are the initiators of the divorce men?

Gentlemen are less emotional and endure everyday hardships more easily. Apparently, therefore, divorces on male initiative account for 40% of all official cases of dissolution of marriages.


The most common weighty arguments

Good reasons:

Why do they break up after decades of family life?

Why do people get divorced after 10-20 years of living together?

What circumstances to indicate when making a statement to the court?

Not everyone in a divorce seeks to demonstrate to the world how messed up was the half.

But in the statement of claim for divorce, it is advisable to write about the motives, given which the official authority must agree to dissolve the plaintiff's marriage.

In order not to get into family troubles and do not breed demagoguery, the following wording can be specified in the document:


It is not necessary to make a list of claims - during the hearing in court, the plaintiff will be given the opportunity to voice everything that he considers necessary to make public.

Divorce is one of the worst things that can happen in the life of any adult in a marriage. But even this milestone can be a turning point in the fate of everyone, if both ex-spouses draw the right conclusions from such an unpleasant experience.

Why are there so many divorces? Why do people get divorced and how to avoid it? Popular psychology: