Where did this stupid expression - "women's team" come from?

In Kenya, far, far away, there is a village where only women live. It is called Umoja, which means "unity" in Swahili. The village was founded twenty years ago by women of the Samburu tribe. Before that, according to the traditions of the tribe, they were completely powerless: they were equated with cows or agricultural implements. Samburu can beat their wives, mock them, even kill them. The poor people bought their security dearly: their husbands beat them severely in order to "turn women back into women." But they won, and they were left alone.

A few years ago, I wrote to Umoja project coordinator Jane Wilner and asked for some of the challenges that samburu women face today. Jane told me that there are some difficulties in the village. First, they lack two sources of income instead of one. Secondly, they still hope that they will marry a worthy man. Women who were beaten, raped, sold and humiliated by men regret that they did not find "worthy". Habit is second nature. Thirdly, the villagers began to have conflicts over leadership. They began to quarrel among themselves.

Is it so bad? Isn't this notorious "women's collective", the kingdom of hazing (babovshchina?), after all not a myth invented by men?

Monkeys and domination

We devalue the company of our own kind, whether at work or among friends. For example, I often hear from women: “I have always been friends with men,” and it sounded proud. When did the society of men become such a value? Why be among them "cooler" than among us?

Among chimpanzees, our closest relatives, relationships between females are also not easy. Monkeys live in small groups (about 50 individuals), which are called "communities". Sometimes female chimpanzees move from one community to another, and there they are met by other females, indigenous women - almost like a stepmother welcomes Cinderella in old fairy tales. It comes to the point that the locals kill not only aliens, but also their newborn cubs. So often strangers have to ask for protection from males. But in bonobos, known for their sexual emancipation, everything is exactly the opposite. Instead of conflicting, females build very strong harmonious bonds and even dominate males in pursuit of food. That is, where chimpanzees fight each other, bonobos will unite.

We are monkeys. And we're more chimpanzee than bonobos.

If we lived in the jungle, our aggression towards each other would be explained by the desire to leave as healthy and strong offspring as possible. In chimpanzees, the female's success lies primarily in access to quality food, while the male's success depends on whether he is popular with fertile females.

Hatred has begun. Males make us children, and females select bananas and give them to their babies. One joy - we are no longer in the jungle.

Knights and forage base

As time goes by, men stop being so shaggy (well, most, at least), crawl out of caves and settle in castles. Others, less successful, occupy more modest housing. We still live in communities and, as before, we are forced to decide who is beneficial for us to stick to, and who is better to avoid or eliminate altogether.

For thousands of (I'm not joking) years, all the most valuable resources of mankind have been concentrated in the hands of men: education was received by men; men owned property; religion, politics and family patterns were built by men.

Accordingly, it didn’t make sense to be friends with women, but to arrange a race for the right to be closer to the “food base” - yes. After all, if a man leaves for another woman, he will take all the blessings with him. Also, in a traditional society, a woman, just like a chimpanzee, leaves her home and comes to a man's house, where there are other women, often hostile. Hence, there are so many stories and tales about the evil stepmother or mother-in-law. Previously, girls at the wedding even sang special pitiful songs about how the mother-in-law would pull their hair and beat them.

The situation has changed only in the last hundred years, which, by the standards of history, not even yesterday, but literally today at lunchtime. Women go to universities, write books, own land and businesses, make decisions that affect their bodies... The need for a strong partner has become much lower, so what's the deal?

"You are a girl"

When I was little, my mother told me that if I did not learn how to clean my room, I would never get married. And it was, I will tell you, a terrible threat. At the same time, my mother did not even imagine that a man would clean the house. Or even we are together.

So from the hellish flame is born "you're a girl."

“How can you fight, you’re a girl!”, “Stand up, you’re a girl!”, “Smile, you’re a girl!” ... I remember, and it reduces my teeth, and you?

It’s interesting, but if it weren’t for “I’m a girl”, I could do whatever I want? Shaggy, fighting, spitting chewed paper balls and hunching over? We Girls are never good enough no matter what they do. We borrow this idea from our mothers and grandmothers and carry it with us all our lives, like an eternally hot potato.

"You're a girl" has a twin sister - "look at Katya (Masha, Dasha, Marina)." Then there may be options: “Katya has a luxurious braid, not that you have three hairs”, “Katya has only one four”. And so on ad infinitum. We are constantly compared to each other not in our favor, so much so that even the best friend is irritated after these endless "look at ...".

And what is most interesting, never in my life have I heard anything like that from the mothers of boys, well, except maybe “Don’t cry, you’re a man.” Are boys compared to each other too? They are told: “Misha, look at Petya, he already has a bitsukha hoo, and you have some pathetic bags”? Then we gain independence and begin to convince ourselves that another woman is better than us, which means that there is nothing to love her for.

“Girlfriends exist to take their husbands away”

This wisdom was shared with me by my close friend, and with her by her grandmother.

But if you think about it, it often happens like that, - the friend laughs. - I know so many stories when my husband cheated with a girlfriend ...

Yes, such stories are really dark. In fact, everything is explained by simple mathematics. The average woman always has more girlfriends than friends, and her and her husband's social circle is about the same. It is interesting that a wave of anger always falls on the mistress who "took away", "destroyed the family" and "confused". It always sounds like the man didn't take part in the whole event at all. The husband in this scenario usually acts in a dual way. On the one hand, a man is strength and power, on the other hand, he is such a little boy who cannot be held responsible for his actions.

We want to be friends but don't know how

Women have always been my closest friends. I don't believe in "women's tantrums" or "women's collectives". By the way, my best boss and wonderful friend was a woman. She was only a little older than me, she had a huge heart tattoo on her chest, where it was written "I do not regret anything."

Then we went back home with her, and, you know, she is such a cutie! - You're totally crazy about her. Selfishness, a cute bang-haired guy, walked around the room. Here is what I am trying to explain! - Common sense jumped up from his chair and pointed his finger towards the girl sitting at the computer desk. - So it won't take long to go crazy! - And what? It's only the second time I've mentioned it. - the girl turned her head towards Conscience - Isn't it? - My status in society encourages me to tell the truth. - she gracefully crossed her legs and continued - You ate all our brains with a dessert spoon with these conversations about her . - As always, short and clear. I can not do that! In general, I have ... Everything is bad, in general. Dumb life! - Entered into the room Pessimism was this time, to put it mildly, out of shape. Other than that, as usual. Frowningly looking at all those present, he sat down not far from Realism, lately they were very similar. - Well, what do we do? - Asked Common Sense, looking sideways in the direction of Intuition, which the girl always obeyed unconditionally. - Come on, you will fall in love and pass. It's not for long! - Reassured everyone Optimism - And do not look at me like that, I also know that same-sex love is no good. She's in her teens, I'm telling you. And Optimism stroked the girl's head, still sitting thoughtfully at the table. - Yes, I also think that it will pass quickly. Finally, Intuition spoke up. - Besides, the Muse will come soon. She will write about her Nika and leave us behind. Of course she will come. said Realism gloomily. - Muse, do you hear, come back, I'll forgive you everything... - the girl sang thoughtfully, turning to the computer. - Where did you go when I need you so much? - Oh, it's starting. Intuition whistled softly. - Well, I went. Please check with me before posting. - Ok, ok, I'll consult - the girl said without looking up from the keyboard. - Stop! "Like" with a soft sign or without? - You can't do without me here ... - with a sigh, common sense sat down next to him. Yes, but don't bother. - said the girl, not taking her eyes off the monitor. - And what can be inserted here? Vulgarity, who had been silently reading NC before, chuckled. Intuition poked her in the side with her elbow and sat down with the girl on the other side. - What do you have here? - Yes, that's it ... - the girl made an indefinite gesture with her hand towards the monitor. - I don't know what to write here. - Wu-u-u... - What's here? What do you have here? - Without letting the Intuition finish, the Sense of Humor asked. - Nothing, nothing! - Vulgarity hastily blocked the computer. - Don't interfere! She already has humor in almost every fanfiction, and now she has fallen in love, she needs to write something vulgar. - The biggest struggle in me is the struggle between Sense of Humor and Vulgarity. - So! Get out of here, everyone! She shook her head angrily, trying to collect her thoughts. - And you, Meaning, I'll ask you to stay. - I didn't really want to! - Optimism proudly left the room, followed by everyone else. - Let me help you here. - Meaning bowed to the monitor. - Well, it works out well. - Is it true? - the girl looked hopefully at Common Sense and again tapped her fingers on the keyboard. - Certainly. - The meaning is more comfortable on a chair, because the arrival of a muse is always for a long time. Especially if with her story the girl decided to prove that she "doesn't like Nick at all."

I do not like her
Polino higher education in Israel was not to the court. Who needs a female geologist, and even at the age of about 40, educated in Russia? Nobody. And Polya began to go from apartment to apartment, clean the rich old women. Out of habit, her arms and legs hurt, but she endured: the family needed money. When an apartment was bought on a 28-year installment plan and a car, Polya thought: would it be enough for a long time with such intensive work? And I realized that it wasn't. What to do? And she decided to go to hairdressing courses. I paid a rather large amount, and with hope for the future, I began to study.
How many difficulties she had to endure while she mastered a new specialty. And now the study came to an end, the hands, finally, began to obey the craftswoman. She had clients who liked her work. She was even paid small tips and gifts. Polya rejoiced and longed for independent creativity.
…This hot day started as usual. Alla, her teacher, was supposed to come later that day, and she and Leah, the second student, stayed together in the hairdresser's in the morning. Leah was combing the hair of a thin young Israeli woman, they cheerfully exchanged phrases in Hebrew. Around 9 am a poorly dressed old man came in. Small, frail, he looked around the workroom in a business-like manner and called Polya with a hooked finger:
- Lady! Do your students cut their hair for 15 rubles? (he said so! He forgot about shekels at that moment)?
- Sheared, - answered Fields, - Sit down! What luxurious gray curls you have! A rarity at your age. How do you want to cut your hair?
Are you really a student? And then you will charge me dearly. You are not a girl, you are a grown woman. What is your name, tell me? Suddenly it will be necessary to make a claim, but to whom, I don’t know.
- I am a student, and I study at that age, because no one here needs my higher education, my name is Polina, you can Polya.
- Aron, - the old man introduced himself, - Aron Goldberg, I'm from the Moscow region, and you?
- I am from Perm. How to cut your hair?
“As short as possible, it’s hot.” ​​The old man’s hair was rough, it keeps its shape well.
- If I like the haircut, I will pay 2 times more. Try, Polenka! I appreciate good work.
The old man cut the fields, he began to scatter in compliments and put money in her hand - 15 shekels. Polly smiled but said nothing. Heather old man!
- Rejoice, Fields, I will be your regular customer. I am delighted with your work.
Polya and Leia laughed after he left. The old man, apparently, is not all right with his head. He talks about rubles, he promised to pay more ... what will you take from him? How badly dressed, poor fellow. Probably his wife died, he lives alone.
Half an hour later, Aaron reappeared.
- Can my friend, Polechka, come to you for a haircut?
- Please, I have free time at 12. I am waiting.
Aron did not come with a friend, but with a small, as if dried, old woman with a displeased face and three hairs on her head. She, tapping her cane, went to Polina's workplace and carefully examined the woman. The old man noticed her gaze.
- This is Polya, - said Aaron, - And this is my friend Shifra. We have known each other for seventy years, she also knew my parents.
- Aaron, you talk a lot. Is this the student? - asked the old woman, - She does not have much left before retirement, but she is still studying. Okay, let's cut it.
- Do not insult me, - Polya said sternly, - If you are not satisfied with my age, you can go to another hairdresser.
- Cipher is happy with everything, - said Aaron softly, - she's just not in the best mood today. Happens. As does each of us. Don't make noise, Shifrochka, don't pass on your mood to others. You see, girls work, try.
Cipher looked suspiciously at the craftswomen.
- Will you get a haircut or not?
- It will, - said Aaron, - definitely. So, Cipher?
- I'm asking your lady.
- I'm not his lady. I’m going to get my hair cut, so cut me….., - the old woman began to give instructions.
- Please, be quiet, - asked Fields, - I understood everything. You don't have to speak hand in hand.
Fields cut the grumpy woman as she wanted, but instead of gratitude, she heard the words:
-Aron, where did you find this old woman? Look how she cut my hair, I lost hair on my head. Armless! Arona cut her hair well, but I…
- Shifrochka, what can you do if your hair is not so thick? the old man asked diplomatically.
- The old idiot, - said Shifra, grabbed a stick and, without paying, went out into the street, - found a hairdresser. No, I definitely don't like her: fat, ugly, no charm. No I do not like.
Aaron embarrassedly put Field on the bedside table 15 shekels.
He went out, and Polya burst into tears. Why did the old woman hurt her so? She tried so hard to please her. Baba Yaga, only the stupa is missing, but ....
- Don't cry, Polyushka, - Leia told her, - There are no fools in the world.
- Leah, it's a shame, why?
Allah came in half an hour. They told her this story. She laughed.
- Fields, this is a baptism of fire. How many of these have I seen in my life! Smile! One day she came to me...
At this time, the door opened, smiling Aaron entered the barbershop.
- Polenka, I promised you 30 rubles, but I gave you 15. Excuse me. Here are 15 more. Forgive the old man, the brains no longer understand.
- Don't, a haircut costs 15 shekels.
- No, old Aron keeps his promises, don't consider me a liar.
Polly smiled. She felt good and calm. Not all are boors like this old woman - God's dandelion.
- Come in, Aaron, I'm always glad to see you... only without your finicky and impudent friend. Do you agree?
- I agree, Polenka. I will definitely come back as soon as my hair grows back. Just don't deny me one thing: may I kiss your hand?
September 2010

Yesterday in Los Angeles, the NYX FACE Awards ceremony was held, where she spoke about the difficult relationship with TV presenter Julianna Rancic and commented on her departure from Fashion Control (Fashion Police).

I will never admit that I like Julianna Rancic. Because I don't like her! I don't think she is a good person. Moreover, I consider her a liar. One of the people I like in the fashion industry is Brad Goreski. He's very funny. Also, I'm really glad that Melissa Rivers took the chair in the Fashion Control show. Show must go on! And I will move on

Kelly told.

When asked by a reporter if she would ever return to the show, Osbourne replied:

Yes, but only if some people disappear from the show. Recall Kelly in February this year. Officially, it is believed that she independently made this decision. However, according to insiders, the channel's management put her before a choice - either the girl leaves herself, or she will be fired.

One of the reasons could be the incident with Julianna Rancic and Zendaya Coleman: the live host criticized the image of the singer on the red carpet of the "" award, noting that her hairstyle "smells of patchouli and weed." Osbourne then threatened to quit if Rancic did not publicly apologize to Coleman. According to insiders, it was then that Julianna explicitly hinted to management that her colleague was fired.

As a preface, I note that I am always against memorized patterns and prepared material. Therefore, do not use the material in this article as a magic pill.

Always learn to generate the right words yourself.

1. Initially, it’s better not to hint, but to say it like it is (the girl is not a telepath)

The best thing is to always say it straight and like it is.

For example, tell her: You `re cool. You are super! I like you!»

• Tell her why you chose her over other ladies. And then later she will feel chosen by you! And then she will feel special for you! And it's super attractive and strong.
• It is better not to hint, but to speak directly! The girl is not a telepath and cannot read minds.
• Thus, you remind yourself why you have every reason to be with her, and how she catches you. This is where motivation and confidence come from.

Here is the first paragraph on the topic of how to tell a girl that I like her.

2. If you are really attracted to her appearance (hairstyle), voice it

For example, you can compliment her hair if it's really cool:

1. « I like your hair».
2. « Wow, I love your hairstyle!».

3. Hint at a joint future where you are already a couple in love

You can use phrases to project your future together, where you are already a couple in love:

• « What are you doing on February 14th?».
• « What are you doing for Valentine's Day next year?».

These are such subtle hints of sympathy for a girl.

4. You can compliment her on her cuteness if she's really cute.

Compliments about what a girl is cute, you can come up with different and very many.

If she's really cute, that shouldn't be a problem.

If only because she reads from your face the charm of her femininity.

For example: " You are so cute. I'll definitely give you a New Year's present».

Thus, I don't worry about hinting to a girl that I like her.

5. Let her know what's going on inside you because of her.

You can tell her about it implicitly, thereby creating some kind of intrigue.

« Why are you doing this to me?”- ask her this, thereby making it clear that she is very attractive to you.

6. Hints about her style at the beginning of dating

« Hello I like your style”- you can start acquaintance with these words.

I'm talking about the case when the beauty is completely unfamiliar to you, and you make the first approach to her.

7. Offer to play funny roles like in a novel, voice your script

« Let's play a romance where you get pregnant from me and then we have to get married”- with this phrase you invite her to play different roles on funny topics.

Having said something like this, I no longer ask questions about how to let a girl know that I like her.

8. Use this phrase to show sympathy for her and emotional closeness

« Do you want to be my other half?"- a phrase of sympathy for her and emotional closeness (an example of an opener to start a conversation with a stranger).

In no case should you say these words from the position that you cannot live without her, and she supposedly will somehow complement you.

9. Give her compliments and blame her for it at the same time.

« You are so cool and pretty. What are you doing to me?- I compliment her and blame her for it at the same time.

For example, these words close the dilemma on how to admit to a girl that I like her.

10. Be as close to her as possible.

« I want to be close to a nice girl” - say this if she does not understand what is happening, and you sit down closer to her.

Thus, she feels your condition better, it is transmitted to her. It also happens in cases where the guy knows everything about.

11. In case you want to ask her out

Let's analyze the question of how to hint to a girl about a relationship correctly.

1. It is not necessary and not at all necessary to hint about a serious relationship.
2. Relationships will only start when you spend the night in bed together. And you need to think about them only after that. Not before.
   Therefore, it makes no sense to offer to meet before that - zero!
3. I usually tell the girl I like that I want to see her more often. It is not necessary to copy my words word for word.

It's like this: “Listen, you are cool, and I feel good with you. Let's see each other more often and have a great time together!"

Then I usually ask what days she is free most often.

I never have a problem with how to tell a girl that I like her and ask her out.

For those who want to confess their love to her

For those guys who are wondering how to tell a girl that I love her.

To start, ask yourself:

• Have you slept together before or have you had nothing? If not, then it is foolish to rush into such statements.
• Do you want to tell her this because you feel not self-sufficient and you think that the girl will somehow complete you?
  If the answer is “Yes”, then most likely she will leave you sooner or later.
• Is this feeling mutual?
  If the answer is “No”, then why rush to make such statements again? It’s better to say your approximate words as in the 11th paragraph a little higher, or go over and choose the words that suit you from all 23 paragraphs.

For those who want to confess their love to their passion, one should also remember realize the following.

A woman doesn't want to be an adventure, she wants to go on an adventure with you. She wants to go to a more meaningful and bigger event than herself. Otherwise, if your focus is completely only on her, she loses interest in you, and you become needy in her eyes.

Keep this in mind, so you won't need phrases on how to hint to a girl that you want to date her, and remove all doubts.

12. Invite her on an adventure with you.

« Do you want to go on a date? Do you want to start a romance with me?”- it is better to say to an unfamiliar beauty when you just saw her.

By doing so, you invite her on an adventure.

And I say this not even with the aim of inviting or calling her somewhere, but simply finding any reason to start a conversation with her.

This is all done playfully and the words should correspond to your condition, that is, it should be.

Otherwise, this item will not work for you.

Then you can continue the conversation by changing the topic to any other topic.

13. Use bed jokes

« I just posted on facebook that you and I were making love”- rapprochement through positive emotions and humor.

Ideally, there should be no filters at all. Know everything about communication and life in general.

14. Be the chooser, not the one being chosen

« I choose you, I like to communicate with you”- with this phrase you show that you choose her.

15. If you see her for the first time

« I just saw you and couldn't resist"- use when approaching a stranger.

You don't have to be mega-charismatic to know everything about.

16. Tell her that she is better than all the other women around.

"I like you more than those girls"– and pointing at any random girls nearby.

One more word as an addition to the discussion of the topic on how to tell a girl that I need her, beautifully.

This can be done both in a club, if you just met her, and on a date.

17. Jokes about the wedding and her mother

"Can I call my mom and say I met my wife?"- allusions to your marriage as a joke.

18. Voice your feelings and feelings for her with humor

There is such a strong chemistry between us, like in the series "Breaking Bad"– voice what you feel for her with humor.

It is always better to talk about your feelings for her in your own words without a memorized text.

Thus, you will pump this ability in yourself, you will not need any prepared material and you will know everything about that.

19. It is not necessary to name the reason why you are drawn to her.

“I am really drawn to you. I do not know why” - voice your strong attraction to her.

20. Let her know what exactly you want to be with her right now.

"I like being with you more than with friends"- you chose her among others and you want to be with her most of all.

21. Kiss her

To the question of how to hint a girl for a kiss:

• Start from the position that you give a kiss, you don't take it away.
• Usually I kiss myself and not verbally don't ask permission.
• If initially you positioned yourself correctly, then there will be no resistance to the kiss.

How did I do it

I had a case when one woman deliberately began to dodge my kiss. Initially, I did everything right and saw no reason to resist.

I did not want to play these cat and mouse and immediately said bluntly: “ I want to kiss you".

To which she replied: What if I can't kiss?(and everything became immediately clear).

To which I replied: I will teach you".

And there was no more resistance. It's so easy, without any games and other nonsense, you can hint to a girl for the first kiss.

Video with my approach

In addition to the topic, I decided to show my video where I meet a hot woman in the mall.

In it you can clearly see what I wrote about in this article.

It also contains answers to the topic of how to tell a girl that she is beautiful in your own words.

About finding a topic to talk to women on dates on my site.

22. Use the role reversal feature

The feature of role reversal between you and clues for a joint future:

• "If you take me on a date, where are you taking me?"
• "Where are you taking me on our date?"
• "Stop seducing me"- a cunning phrase with a role reversal, with which you will relieve yourself of responsibility.

Even if it is not she who seduces you, but you her, but this will remind you that you are a man and a woman.

23. Subtle, not repulsive words about her figure and face at the same time

"Remove your breasts, hide them from me, I only want to see your beautiful face."

Here is such a compliment to her figure and appearance at the same time, which helps to confess her sympathy for a girl, can be given.

Key points to keep in mind

• You let her know that you make her stand out from the others and why you like her.
• When you tell a girl about your sympathy, looking straight into her eyes.
  It is foolish to look away, look away and speak nowhere.
• Be as simple as possible!
• Be foolish, don't be serious about everything.
• Enjoy the process.
• When expressing yourself, don't try to impress.
• Don't be afraid to touch her and touch her. She is waiting for this.
• Never consider your openness in liking a girl as a weakness. This is always a plus and it is strong. But at the same time, do not think that she will immediately swim after your words and want you.
• Be honest and congruent. Say what you think (do not forget about adequacy).
• Let your emotions come out and they will attract her.
• Do not focus on prepared words! Let yourself say ugly, but from the heart.
  And these will be your best words than those borrowed from someone or prepared in advance.
• Do not try to mow like James Bond or another movie character from the movie, voicing his cool phrases.
  It will only turn out to be a cheaper and unnatural copy of a movie character whose life you still can’t live.
• The best thing you can do is be your best self.
• You need to understand that many of the phrases were spoken in a state of flow, and you do not need to wait after these phrases for unrealistic reactions from a woman and quick acceptance.
  In any case, you need to continue communication and not depend on prepared phrases.
• The sooner you let her know how you feel about her, the better.
  The longer you wait with how to show sympathy for a girl, the more embarrassing it will be later.
• Talk about your sympathy in places where there is no social pressure and unnecessary judgmental views of people. Better alone.

Why the Internet or SMS are the worst ways to show sympathy and feelings

If for the first time you want to confess to a girl about your sympathy and intentions, then never do it via the Internet.

It’s better to ask yourself: “What prevented you from doing this in your first minutes of meeting when you met?”.

What prevented a girl from hinting that you like her when you saw her for the first time?

Why the internet is so bad for this:

1. A girl can read your message and just exit from the online mode, without even answering your deep lines about crazy love.
2. On the Internet, very beautiful women on social networks, letters of declaration of love are sometimes written by several dozen men a day.
   Do you want to be one of those gray fans?
3. All the sincerity and honesty of your sympathy, you can convey all the openness to a woman only through your eyes when meeting face to face. But not through the monitor.
4. A woman might think you're lying or just joking after reading your post. And there is already a wrong positioning and a wrong understanding of you.