"Love him! I can’t imagine life without him, but we are so bored together. And it's not like it used to be like that. I just realized at some point that there was nothing to even talk about. Advise what to do? - such messages can often be found on forums dedicated to the relationship between a man and a woman. Indeed, even the happiest and strongest couple is not immune from periods of recession, when spending time together comes down to sitting at computers (each behind his own) and indifferent: “How are you at work?”. But this does not mean at all that people who find themselves in a similar situation should definitely run away, put an end to further relationships and look for happiness somewhere else. For starters, it’s worth at least trying to breathe life into a frozen connection and make it brighter.

Most of the "advisers" on the same forums for some reason answer that if boredom seems even a little bit in a relationship, they should be ended immediately. To leave for a while, to leave for good - as if only in this modern people see the solution to the problem. Our grandmothers and mothers usually answer such remarks: “We used to fix everything, but now they prefer to immediately buy a new one.” And after all, there is some truth in this - is it really necessary to flee the ship at the first difficulties? Why not try to overcome them together with your loved one, thereby making the relationship even stronger and more trusting? The main thing is to remember that only joint efforts can lead to a positive result: if only one flounders, and the other sits and waits for these floundering to lead to something, then absolutely nothing will work.

Talk to a partner

Start by voicing your feelings. It sounds strange, but it also happens: one does not find a place for himself from the feeling that something is going wrong, and the other does not notice anything like that. By talking, you will kill two birds with one stone: tell your loved one about doubts and fears and find out if he feels that the relationship has become insipid. Boredom means that you are not fulfilling some of your needs in a relationship. It’s not enough just to be aware of them, you need to talk about needs without forcing your partner to guess about your hidden desires. In addition, you should also understand that interest in the needs of a loved one is an important component of a harmonious and not boring relationship.

Psychologists are sure that a self-sufficient person who is not bored with himself is much more likely to be interesting to others than someone who expects others to entertain him. Take up something interesting, like a hobby. Feel that you are able to enjoy every day, regardless of whether you had a long heart-to-heart talk with your loved one or not.

You yourself will not notice how, having become interesting for yourself, arouse a keen interest in your partner: a girl with eyes burning with excitement and enthusiastically talking about what dance moves she learned today will involuntarily attract the attention of her man.

change together

And change the environment around you, but also together. Nothing helps to breathe life into a boring relationship like a change that two started side by side with each other. Stop going to your usual restaurant: let them cook delicious food there, but you try the cuisine of another institution, and then either be glad that you have discovered something new, or spit and return to the proven place. Or arrange a rearrangement, but do not quarrel, try to listen to each other's opinions. Well, and, finally, if funds and time permit, go on vacation. Do not go to Greece for the third time in a row, it is better to visit a country in which you have never been, say, Austria or China. The main principle is to comprehend new things together, share impressions, be surprised and enjoy moments of unity.

Don't skimp on surprises

Start taking the first steps by leaving a cute note in his jacket pocket or sending a romantic text when he doesn't expect it at all. Another good option is heart-shaped scrambled eggs for breakfast. Would you say sweet and childish? But remember the time when you were good with each other and, most importantly, not bored. Surely then you were just starting to meet and behaved like children. So why not revive this wonderful period of your relationship?

Don't Ignore His Interests

We talked about this earlier, but now we will analyze this point in more detail. Let's say your man is a fan of cycling. He rides around the city for the whole weekend, calling with him, and every now and then you refuse, surprised later that you have absolutely nothing in common. So why not try to ride with him at least once? May not like it, but at least each of you will know that you tried. It is very important for a man to understand that there is a reliable support and support in the person of his beloved woman nearby.

In most cases, when a relationship gets boring, the first thing to look at is yourself. We are ready to blame the partner, but in fact it is not he who has changed, it is our expectations and desires that have changed. We mentally live in the “candy-bouquet period”, while in the yard there is a stage of more serious and mature relationships. Look at the situation sensibly, analyze what is happening to you, and take steps towards your loved one - you should not expect him to do everything for you.

When a girl becomes sad, bored and dreary with you, then there will definitely not be sex. 60 simple ways to entertain a girl and yourself.

1. go to the movies (especially horrors: like this you hug and are afraid together)
2. play snowballs and make a woman
3. go to the skating rink
4. teach to play billiards
5. karting (ride - get adrenaline)
6. city quests
7. walk in the center, in parks (not button accordion, but classic)
8. buzz in some bar, club
9. dacha / walk through the forest (fireplace, bathhouse, barbecue, guitar ...)
10. bowling (gambling and fun)
11. horseback riding
12. skydive
13. tea ceremony (you can paint like the Japanese and have a tea party at home)
14. arrange filming of an amateur film (a lot of entertainment at once - writing a script, shooting, editing, uploading to YouTube, spamming the contact list in ace, flooding forums with a solemn presentation of a link to a film, a trip to Cannes for a prize for the best amateur video (or on competition "golden dick", depending on the genre of the film)
15. water park
16. exhibitions and museums (there are very unusual ones)
17. trip to another city
18. handcuffs, whip

19. leave the girl (extreme)
20. study of the Schrödinger equation
21. sign up for aikido, latin dance, chinese courses together
22. go to a rally of commies
23. play tic-tac-toe
24. bring a lady and show shadow play
25. go to the zoo
26. to the library (in a quiet far corner ...)
27. curling
28. darts pub
29. thrash band concert
30. go boating/kayaking
31. karaoke
32. hookah cafe
33. sit with a bottle of wine on the roof of a skyscraper
34. play the fool (preference, undressing)
35. get married

36. candlelight dinner
37. fights with laser swords
38. rent bikes and ride (rollers, skis)
39. sauna
40. anti-shopping (go shopping and buy nothing)
41. buy lottery tickets
42. circus (you can arrange it yourself)
43. install Linux (patch kde2 under the fry)
44. opera, ballet, theater
45. digging
46. ​​a quiet evening at the TV
47. plant a tree together
48. See the moons of Jupiter, but you need a spyglass (if your girlfriend's eyes light up like stars, then it's time to uncover the telescope)
49. take a ride on the children's railway
50. go with a girl on an excursion to any city
51. invite a girl to take a picture for a day
52. have sex
53. and then one more time

54. offer to have sex with 2 of her girlfriends, if she starts to beat you, then say that she was joking
55. buy a puzzle and put it together
56. read aloud to each other
57. get offended, go to different rooms, and start exchanging text messages
58. do something occult - for example, tell fortunes on cards, runes. For extreme people - tie spirits at midnight
59. play trust: one person is blindfolded or black opaque glasses are put on, and the second must take him “to the bus stop / to the house / through the park” or just lead him to a beautiful place
60. massage and sleep

The last time you talked to a girl, did you mumble something incoherent about your math homework, then mention going to the dentist, and then start snapping your fingers in awkward silence while the girl stared at the floor? Don't worry, it's happened to all the guys. It's okay, if you prepare and make an effort, then the next time you talk, the girl will be extremely passionate.

Steps

Where to begin

Start with a casual theme. In your first conversation with a girl, pick a light topic that both of you can talk about quite naturally without feeling embarrassed. Don't talk to her about the weird rash you have on your back and don't ask her to tell you about the most embarrassing situation in her life; you can talk about it when you get to know each other better. Choose neutral topics to start a conversation she feels comfortable with. Don't swear. She wants to be treated like a lady! Here are some safe but fun themes to get you started:

• your favorite bands;
• the latest movies you have watched;
• your pets;
• your brothers and sisters;
• What did you do last weekend or what do you plan to do next?
• your vacation plans.

1. Avoid personal topics. This rule goes hand in hand with starting a conversation on a light topic. You'll be able to have deeper conversations once the girl gets to know you better, but for now, it's best to avoid talking about family deaths, your first loves, strange illnesses, or fear of death. If you feel like you have an instant connection with a girl, then you can quickly move from chatting to more important topics, but it is worth avoiding too personal topics when you first begin to communicate with a girl, otherwise she may retreat.

   • Well, if she started a conversation on a personal topic and wants to continue it, then you can support him and see where it leads, but still be on the lookout.
   • Pay attention to the girl's facial expression and body language. If she backs off or looks upset when you ask her about something simple, then it may be a sensitive topic for her.

2. Keep smiling. If you smile and act positive, then you can keep the girl interested and make her want to continue the conversation. While you shouldn't smile until your cheeks are numb, it's worth taking advantage of every opportunity. This will show the girl that you really enjoy talking to her and leave a positive impression of you. You may be so nervous that you forget to smile, so remind yourself of that.

   • Smiling is especially important when you first start talking to a girl, and also at the end of a conversation. It is important to start and end on a good note.

3. Look into her eyes. Eye contact is the key to making a girl feel important and see that what she says really matters to you. You may feel uncomfortable talking to her and start looking around just because you are afraid to look at her, but try to break this habit. You don't need to look into her eyes with tension and love, because it can scare her - just look into her eyes during a conversation to make her feel important. If you find it difficult to make eye contact with a person or prefer to avoid eye contact, look at her nose - look, but don't stare. Not everyone is able to maintain eye contact during a conversation; tell her about it - if she is worthy of your attention, she will understand.

4. Ask her questions. This is the key to making the girl feel special as quickly as possible. You can show that you care by asking questions about her or what she's been doing lately. The questions don't have to be very personal - they don't have to - but you should show your interest in her and her life. If she doesn’t ask you anything, then you should stop asking questions for a while - perhaps she feels like she is being interrogated. Here are some topics for questions:

   • her hobbies and interests;
   • her favorite bands, books and TV shows;
   • her favorite subjects at school;
   • her dream job;
   • her best friends;
   • her plans.

5. Give her a compliment. After talking for a while, you can give her a little compliment to make her feel appreciated. Make sincere compliments, do not dissemble. You can compliment her sweater, her new haircut, jewelry, or even a personality trait. Don't be too specific ("You have great legs") because it will make her uncomfortable. Don't overdo it, choose something neutral and show her you care.

   • One compliment per conversation will be enough. Do not bombard her with compliments or act like you are not sincere in your words.

   How to keep her interested

   1. Find common themes. Once you've started a conversation, look for common ground to make it easier for you to find topics for conversation. It is not necessary to have common interests, however, if you find them, the conversation will be easier. When you talk to a girl, try to determine if you have something in common - maybe you grew up in the same city, maybe you like the same sport, or you have a mutual friend or teacher.

      • If you talk about something in common, you can open up, enjoy the conversation, and talk about new topics. For example, you can talk about how much you love football, and then go on to the craziest stories that have happened to you at the stadium, and then discuss your favorite places in the city.
      • Let things take their course - don't try to find out if she likes the same thing as you. Try to keep the conversation open, otherwise it will stop if she does not share your interests. For example, instead of saying, “Have you seen Frozen? It's my new favorite movie" - better say: "Have you watched anything interesting lately?"

   2. Ask her opinion. This is another way to keep the conversation going and show the girl that you really enjoy talking to her and that she means something to you. If you ask her for her opinion, she will see that you see her as an individual and that you really value her opinion. You can ask about the political situation in the country or even if she likes your new shoes. She will understand that you are not just trying to hit on her, but respect her as a person.

      • Don't ask her questions that can only be answered with "yes" or "no"; ask questions that can be answered in detail so that she has something to talk about. Use "What do you think about..." instead of "Do you think that...".

   3. Use your environment. If you're nervous and feel like the conversation is waning, look around to see what you can use to your advantage. Maybe you have a concert poster hanging behind you, then you can ask if the girl likes this group. Maybe you are standing outside a coffee shop, then ask her if she goes there to read. This does not mean that you need to immediately look around as soon as the conversation begins; look for clues in your surroundings when awkward pauses begin to arise between you.

      • This is a creative way to keep a girl interested and continue the conversation. She will be impressed by how observant you are.

   4. Make her laugh . If you want to keep the girl's interest, it would be nice to make her laugh. If you make a girl laugh, she will want to continue the conversation with you, so look for situations where you can dilute humor. You can gently laugh at yourself, make a kind joke about a mutual friend, or tell her a joke if you think she won't laugh. If you have a funny story that can really make you laugh, you can tell it, as long as it's not too long and complicated. Do not overdo it, but look for ways to make the girl laugh.

      • If you don't have a natural sense of humor, then don't try to be something you're not. The girl will see that you are trying, and will begin to feel sorry for you. Instead, you can just be yourself, and if you can make the girl laugh in the process, great!
      • If you don't know the girl well, then don't tease her, unless you're already flirting and teasing each other. She may misunderstand and be offended, and this is definitely not what you wanted.

   5. Don't turn the conversation into a one-sided monologue. Some guys are so worried about not seeming boring that in the end the girl can't get a word into the conversation. Maintaining interest does not mean talking incessantly. Speak, but let her speak too. Stop from time to time - she probably has something to say too. You should not pull everything on yourself. Of all the time you spend talking, you should only talk half, no more (or a little more if you're shy).

      • If you constantly talk about yourself, then you will look narcissistic, and she will not want to continue this conversation.

   6. Ask about her interests. Almost all girls like to talk about what is especially important to them, so be sure to ask her about what she does in her free time, how often she does it, and why she likes it, and also find out why for her so important. You will not have to persuade her for a long time - you will notice how her face lights up when she starts talking about what is really important to her.

      • If she doesn't go into details when discussing her interests, share yours.

   How to end a conversation

   1. Show her what makes you stand out from the crowd. You don't have to be able to do back flips to impress her. However, it's worth ending the conversation in such a way that she thinks she knows you a little and realizes that she makes you stand out from the crowd. Maybe it's your sense of humor, your charm, or your love of playing the guitar. Whatever it is, open up to her, show her who you really are. So, when she meets you again, she will have something to talk to you about and she will have pleasant memories from the previous conversation.

      • This does not mean at all that you need to tell her everything about yourself in the first 10-15 minutes of the conversation. Tell some interesting facts about your life - that will be enough. If you only talk about “weather” all the time, you will never really get to know each other.

   2. Don't overdo it. Remember that you need to relax and be yourself, and that the girl is just as nervous as you. This means that you should not tell her fictional stories to get her attention. For example, don't talk about your love of motorcycles just because you think it will sound cool. Also, don't use foul language or mean things about other people just because you think it will get her attention. Just take a deep breath, relax and talk about what you would talk about with your friend instead of putting on a show for the girl.

      • If you overdo it, the girl will notice. Your goal is to show her that you like to communicate with her, but not to show that this is very important to you.

   3. Be positive . When you feel like the conversation is coming to an end, end it on a positive note, no matter what you are talking about. If you've been complaining about your parents, teachers, the weather, or anything else that has upset you for the past five minutes, then the girl is unlikely to have a good conversation with you. Your goal is to make the girl feel positive vibes and remember that it was fun to communicate with you, and not boring or even painful.

      • You can complain only when there is something that annoys both of you. But even in this case - in moderation. Save your complaints for someone who knows you a little better.

   4. Don't forget about self-confidence. Remember to remain confident while speaking. Show the girl that you believe in what you are talking about and that you are happy with yourself. If she feels this, then she will understand that you are in harmony with yourself, that you are fun and easy to communicate with. If you get nervous, put yourself down, or talk about how you can't find a topic to talk to, then she will feel uncomfortable and is unlikely to want to talk to you again.

      • You don't have to act like you're the most interesting person in the world or like you're so sexy you could be a movie star; just show that you are happy to be yourself(Is that true?), and everything else will follow.
      • There is a fine line between boasting and self-confidence. If you brag too much, it will push the girl away.

When a couple ends their candy-bouquet period, they may feel differently about it. And if the guy takes it for granted, then the girl can catch herself thinking that she clearly lacks attention. To avoid such cases, the guy must find out the girl's hobbies, and then he can support her aspirations.

Of course, it’s good if a guy and a girl find a common hobby that they will do together: ballroom dancing, drawing lessons, playing musical instruments, swimming lessons. So they will not only develop spiritually or physically, but also strengthen their relationship.

And also, so that the girl does not feel deprived of attention, the guy must take care of the little things: open the door in front of his girlfriend, give her a hand when she gets out of public transport or out of the car, etc. Also, for many women, significant dates are very important, so it’s better for a guy to try to remember them (perhaps write them down). This may be the day of acquaintance or the day when the first declaration of love was made. By the way, it would be very nice if the guy himself would remind the lady of his heart about this and give gifts, even symbolic ones, in connection with this date.

If a girl is bored when her young man leaves somewhere for a long time, then you can try to take her with you. Perhaps the occupation of her half will be so captivating that it will become a joint hobby, or maybe she will find this occupation uninteresting and then she will no longer prevent the guy from going away sometimes.

Thinking about what to do if a girl is bored, we can assume that the matter is not at all in her man, but in herself. Unfortunately, everyone has depressive states, when nothing pleases, and everything seems meaningless. In this case, you just need to help cope with feelings, support your beloved. But if she is always in this state and demands that the guy constantly entertain her, then it is worth considering whether such a relationship is needed at all.

If the guy nevertheless decided that he wants to help his girlfriend cope with boredom, then you can arrange a romantic surprise date for her. For example, somewhere outside the city - clean air and harmony with nature are very important things for the inhabitants of the metropolis. Or arrange a dinner on the roof of a skyscraper, or offer to jump with a parachute, or raft down a mountain river.

Or maybe the girl would prefer to go to an exhibition of modern art or to the theater. In this case, even if her boyfriend is not enthusiastic about such leisure activities, it is better to prepare in advance and not only take the girl there, but also show your knowledge in this matter. If a girl is passionate about dancing, then you can invite her to a fashionable nightclub.

In general, it all depends on what kind of environment the girl has, and what kind of herself she is. Maybe she is quiet and would prefer a good book as a gift, or, on the contrary, she is active and sociable and wants to spend a sleepless night in a club to the rhythms of music. You just need to study her addictions and arrange a surprise - one from which she will be delighted, and then it will not occur to any guy to say - "my girlfriend is bored with me."