I have a friend who has a black, or rather a blackening streak of life, dragged on for several years. First she lost her daughter. A beautiful, capable girl, 16 years old, drowned. Swimming like a fish. But she overestimated her abilities and climbed to swim at night in an unfamiliar place, where, as it turned out, a lot of fishing nets were placed ...
I have known the family for 3 years and during this time, we have developed a very warm relationship with her. Always, when I came to visit, Nastya was frankly happy "Hurrah! Aunt Katya has come !!!". And there was one more moment, after which I began to perceive it quite as my own. Somehow in my life, everything happened very, very sadly, when I said with tears in my eyes, “No one loves me” ... Nastya had just turned 14 years old, she heard these words, looked at me so seriously and said : "I love you". I remember this now and cry. How grateful I am for these words. I will never forget that moment.

Tragedy nearly took the life of her mother, who tried to commit suicide. Only daughter. But there was, at that time, next to her a man who saved her from a deadly act. After, she repeatedly repeated that if it weren’t for Leshka, I wouldn’t be there ...

I found out about death a day later, and the night before, I had a dream that I was talking to her. Everything is as usual, but I feel that she is somehow different. He jokes and laughs as usual, but something is not right, not right. It was a terrible dream, I don’t know how to describe it in words. It happened in August.

And now, I'm sitting with my girlfriend, already, on a sad New Year. We drink champagne and remember Nastya. I was sitting at the computer, an unfinished glass of champagne, standing nearby, on the table. She reached out with her hand to the mouse and lightly touched the glass. Slightly! But he fell. It didn't break, but all the contents ended up on the keyboard and under the table. How much champagne was there? I think 50 grams. Yes, even if there were 200 grams, how could I wring out a doormat 3 times?! The puddle looked like a bucket of water had been spilled. A friend, too, was stunned with surprise. The water was not sticky. And there were no problems with the keyboard in the future. But such was the greeting from Nastya ...

And the man who saved my friend from suicide died after 1 year. She has it in her arms. His last words were "I don't want to die. Lyuba, I don't want to die." She replied "You will not die." Like in the movies? Yes, but it's much more dramatic in real life.

When his coffin was lowered into the pit, the rope broke and the coffin fell upside down. That awful knock! One person fell into the grave, the one from whose side the rope broke. My God, how terrible it was! I stood up, closed my eyes and put my hands over my ears. Horror-horror-horror. They let me go only after 5 minutes. Leshka did not want to die. Obviously didn't want to...

Do you know how it all started? When everyone was alive and well, I introduced my friend to this Leshka (I had known him for 100 years). At that time, he was divorced for 2 years as well as single, she also just broke up with her husband. But someone else's happiness did not give rest to his ex-mother-in-law, and one day she came to my friend at work and made a huge scandal there. The most "affectionate" were her words that you will not be happy. "You will lose everyone and your daughter will die!" she was almost yelling, foaming on her lips.

"If she is to blame for the fact that Nastya drowned, she will die within 6 months. If not, she will live happily ever after. Let everything be fair." The old "witch" did not live even six months after Nastya's death. This is the verdict passed on her after the tragedy. Naturally, without the participation of light forces ... May the Lord forgive me.

Hatred…. Happy is the person who has never experienced this terrible, destructive feeling, who has not writhed in mental convulsions, while smiling benevolently at the object of hatred, who has not experienced the torment of understanding his own impotence without any hope of somehow calming the anger. Not wanting to take bread from psychologists, the women's magazine JustLady, nevertheless, will try to understand the problem and, perhaps, give some practical advice to readers on how to get rid of the misfortune, namely, how to stop hating.
Misanthropy is a slow suicide.

(Friedrich Schiller)

Hatred is a strong feeling of dislike for another person, oneself, dissatisfaction with life or circumstances. People are capable of hating both their own body and the whole world around them. The most powerful and destructive feeling is hatred for one's own kind.

Sometimes hatred arises at one moment as a result of some actions or statements of another person, sometimes anger and irritation accumulates over the years, eventually turning into a burning, overwhelming feeling that is almost impossible to cope with.

Hate is a destructive feeling. It gives people a lot of energy, which at the same time cannot be directed to anything positive. Hatred craves ruins and scorched earth, someone else's grief.
Hatred primarily harms the one who hates. The hater is exposed to its destructive influence. Many illnesses, both physical and mental, are caused by this terrible feeling.

Judge for yourself, a huge negative energy literally bursts you from the inside at the sight of the object of your anger or even the mention of it. At the same time, you most often cannot show your emotions in all their intensity, you have to restrain yourself. Where does the energy go? That's right, it gets inside, destroying everything in its path.

Feeling that it is impossible to live like this anymore, people begin to think about how to stop hating. Hatred will not go away on its own, this must be firmly grasped. It takes a long time to work on curing hatred, every day, every hour. If you are a believer, turning to God and confession will help.

Often people think that stop hating they can only if the hated person dies. But this rarely brings relief. Having learned that the person whom they nurtured and cherished hatred for dear years has died, they relax and realize that they even feel sorry for him. Grievances seem small and insignificant. And then a person has a chance, having spent half his life in hatred, to spend the second half, tormented by guilt.

Meanwhile, having spent a lot of time hatching plans for revenge or just constantly thinking about the object of hatred, with the loss of this very object, the hater simply loses the meaning in life. As scary as it sounds, it really does happen.
Therefore, if you experience such feelings, you need to try with all your might to get rid of it, stop hating.

Without claiming to be a specialist psychologist, I still want to give some advice, or rather even indicate the direction in which you need to try to move. At one time, this method helped me too.

How to stop hating. Step One: Find the Reason

Hatred cannot arise from scratch, although sometimes when asked why we hate a person, we can answer that we are annoyed by his very presence on earth, we hate him simply for what he is.

In fact, there is a reason for hatred and it is extremely specific. Another thing is that it can be completely insignificant, and over time we can even forget about it. But the anger will remain. Often it is the understanding of the insignificance of the cause that helps a person stop hating.

Maybe the person you hate said or did something that pissed you off and led to complete rejection. Or maybe you hate the boss who nagging you every day. Or is it a relative of your husband or a friend (whom you cannot refuse to meet) who behaves completely unacceptable for you? Find out the reason, and it will be easier for you to take the next step.

How to stop hating. Step two: put yourself in his place

The other person, no matter how surprising it may sound, may not even be aware of your hatred. He may do something without knowing how it affects you. Moreover, others around you do not suspect your attitude towards him. Still, where should they suspect something was wrong if you are exaggeratedly kind and attentive to the object of your hatred. It is the hated person that causes our increased attention and desire to be pleasant. After all, our goal is to hide our feelings, to prevent emotions from breaking through.

As a result, we get what we get. And all you need to do is talk to this person, ask him to change his behavior, think about his statements. How many internal conflicts have been resolved in this way!

But it also happens that, putting yourself in his place, you understand that he is doing nasty things, in your understanding, only out of a desire to annoy you. He is well aware of your feelings and angers you in order to be able to enjoy the manifestation of your emotions or to watch with pleasure your attempts to suppress them in yourself.

Why is he doing this? Yes, just because he likes it. Apparently there are some reasons, most often complexes that prevent him from establishing normal contacts with people, drawing attention to his person in some other way.

Maybe you hate the person who did the bad deed. Think about why the person did or is doing it. Did he do something terrible? And what would you do in his place? Do you think you could do the same in a similar situation? Maybe you will understand that an unsightly act is simply a manifestation of the weakness of this person.

So I'm taking you to the next step.

How to stop hating. Step three: try to forgive

As we have seen, nasty actions and words are most often caused by the fact that a person is weak and follows his own weakness. No matter how insidious he may look, this is most often just a weakness.

It is this thought that should help you forgive him and calm down. It’s easy to say: “I’m sorry!” But how to do it if you hate with all your heart? If at the mere thought of this person the stomach contracts, it is impossible to eat or sleep, and yet thoughts constantly revolve around the object of hatred.

There is one simple exercise that can help you. The main idea is that every person has a soul. She is innocent and beautiful like a child. So imagine this person in the form of a small child. It may be difficult, but you should not feel any contradiction at this stage. After all, the object of your anger was once really a baby, he had a loving mom and dad, he was naive and touching.

Imagine that this child continues to live inside this person. He is frightened and unhappy, he closes his eyes every time the "master" tells you nasty things or provokes you. Have pity on the baby, let him understand with your voice, intonations that you know about him, pity him, are ready to support.

This does not mean that when an unpleasant person appears, you should approach him, knock on his chest and say something like: "Hey, baby, I know you're there." No, just talk to the person the way you would talk to a child. Do not be fooled by provocations, pity his little pure soul, instead of hating him.

To many, this exercise may seem silly and useless. That is until you try. I have used this technique for myself. The hatred for the man was so strong that I even began to treat his relatives badly, because they tolerate him and even manage to love him.

The object of my hatred harmed me, said nasty things, did dirty tricks. Moreover, he did not even enjoy his victories, he did not care, he simply believed that he had the right to do so, well, simply because he did not like me.

Only after sorting out the situation, highlighting specific reasons, finding out what exactly supports my hatred and trying to understand why he behaves this way, I saw what reasons he has (albeit unfair, but understandable), I understood why he does it this way (just because other ways are not available to him, since he is the easiest to do). I was able to forgive him for his own imperfection, stupid complexes, I could even regret it.

The process was slow, it was quite difficult, but I tried to learn to perceive a person as a kind of object of experiment, to distract myself from my hostility at least for a while. Then she was able to see a baby in him and talk only with him.

As a result, we have had peaceful relations over the past few years. The man stopped plotting and saying nasty things and even treats me with some warmth. I didn’t love him with all my heart, it’s simply impossible, but I perceive him normally, without anger and hostility, and I don’t grit my teeth when he comes to my house.

I do not claim that this method is a panacea, but in not too neglected cases, with your great desire, of course, it can work. I really hope it helps someone stop hating and the world will become one less hater.

If you can't handle yourself, and your hatred is so great that you can't tame it for a while, in order to at least analyze the situation impartially, it's probably better to turn to a specialist.

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hate kills

I have a friend who has a black, or rather a blackening streak of life, dragged on for several years. First she lost her daughter. A beautiful, capable girl, 16 years old, drowned. Swimming like a fish. But I overestimated my abilities and climbed to swim at night in an unfamiliar place, where, as it turned out, a lot of fishing nets were placed ... I knew the family for 3 years and during this time, we had a very warm relationship with her. Always, when I came to visit, Natyuha frankly rejoiced, "Hurrah! Aunt Katya has come !!!". And there was one more moment, after which I began to perceive it quite as my own. Somehow in my life, everything happened very, very sadly, when I said with tears in my eyes, "No one loves me" ... Nastya had just turned 14 years old, she heard these words, looked at me so seriously and said, "I love you." I remember this now and cry. How grateful I am for these words. I will never forget that moment.

Tragedy nearly took the life of her mother, who tried to commit suicide. Only daughter. But there was, at that time, next to her a man who saved her from a deadly act. After, she repeatedly repeated that if it were not for Leshka, I would no longer exist ...

I found out about death a day later, and the night before, I had a dream that I was talking to her. Everything is as usual, but I feel that she is somehow different. He jokes and laughs as usual, but something is not right, not right. It was a terrible dream, I don’t know how to describe it in words. It happened in August.

And now, I'm sitting with my girlfriend, already, on a sad New Year. We drink champagne and remember Nastya. I was sitting at the computer, an unfinished glass of champagne, standing nearby, on the table. She reached out with her hand to the mouse and lightly touched the glass. Slightly! But he fell. It didn't break, but all the contents ended up on the keyboard and under the table. How much champagne was there? I think 50 grams. Yes, even if there were 200 grams, how could I wring out a doormat 3 times?! The puddle looked like a bucket of water had been spilled. A friend, too, was stunned with surprise. The water was not sticky. And there were no problems with the keyboard in the future. But such was the greeting from Nastya ...

And the man who saved my friend from suicide died after 1 year. She has it in her arms. His last words were "I don't want to die. Lyuba, I don't want to die." She replied "You will not die." Like in the movies? Yes, but it's much more dramatic in real life.

When his coffin was lowered into the pit, the rope broke and the coffin fell upside down. That awful knock! One person fell into the grave, the one from whose side the rope broke. My God, how terrible it was! I stood up, closed my eyes and put my hands over my ears. Horror-horror-horror. They let me go only after 5 minutes. Leshka did not want to die. Obviously didn't want to...

Do you know how it all started? When everyone was alive and well, I introduced my friend to this Leshka (I had known him for 100 years). At that time, he was divorced for 2 years as well as single, she also just broke up with her husband. But someone else's happiness did not give rest to his ex-mother-in-law, and one day she came to my friend at work and made a huge scandal there. The most "affectionate" were her words that you will not be happy. "You will lose everyone and your daughter will die!" - she was screaming almost, with foam on her lips.

"If she is to blame for the fact that Nastya drowned, she will die within 6 months. If not, she will live happily ever after. Let everything be fair." The old "witch" did not live even six months after Nastya's death. This is the verdict passed on her after the tragedy. Naturally, without the participation of the forces of light... May the Lord forgive me.

You can always find more interesting information and useful tips on ours.

If you are the person who NEVER experienced this terrible, destructive feeling, did not writhe in mental convulsions, while smiling benevolently at the object of hatred, who did not experience the torment of understanding his own powerlessness without any hope of somehow calming the anger, congratulations to you, you one of the lucky ones.

And if you are still faced with this even now, and do not want to go to a psychologist, but want to sort out the situation yourself and solve the problem, this article will help you!

Hatred is a very destructive feeling, which is caused by hostility towards another person, oneself, dissatisfaction with life or circumstances. People are capable of hating both their own body and the whole world around them.

Sometimes hatred arises at one moment as a result of some actions or statements of another person, sometimes anger and irritation accumulates over the years, eventually turning into a burning, overwhelming feeling that is almost impossible to cope with.

Hatred primarily harms the one who hates. The hater is exposed to its destructive influence. Many illnesses, both physical and mental, are caused by this terrible feeling.

Notice for yourself that a huge negative energy literally bursts you from the inside at the sight of the object of your anger or even the mention of it. At the same time, you most often cannot show your emotions in all their intensity, you have to restrain yourself. Where does the energy go? That's right, it gets inside, destroying everything in its path.

Often people think that they can stop hating only if the hated person dies. But this rarely brings relief. Having learned that the person whom they nurtured and cherished hatred for dear years has died, they relax and realize that they even feel sorry for him. Grievances seem small and insignificant. And then a person has a chance, having spent half his life in hatred, to spend the second half, tormented by guilt.

How to stop hating:

Step One: Find the Reason

Hatred cannot arise from scratch, although sometimes when asked why we hate a person, we can answer that we are annoyed by his very presence on earth, we hate him simply for what he is.

In fact, there is a reason for hatred and it is extremely specific. Another thing is that it can be completely insignificant, and over time we can even forget about it. But the anger will remain. Often it is the understanding of the insignificance of the cause that helps a person stop hating.

Maybe the person you hate said or did something that pissed you off and led to complete rejection. Or maybe you hate the boss who nagging you every day. Or is it a relative of your husband or a friend (whom you cannot refuse to meet) who behaves completely unacceptable for you? Find out the reason, and it will be easier for you to take the next step.

For many years, my current rural neighbors had a faithful guard dog in the yard, who knew his job well. In the evenings, he ran around the yard, controlling every corner, and in vain did not use his impressive voice. The owner loved his Kokka very much, but the hostess could not stand him, because she was probably jealous beyond measure. And devotion and many years of service as a house watchman did not soften her at all.

Kokki was getting old, and one day - not without reason - in the middle of the night, waking up, grabbed the unexpectedly appeared hostess by the leg. Apparently he got sick. And then another mistake happened. From that moment on, the poor fellow did not have long to live. Swearing and curses flew at him around the clock with a rage just insane.
Literally in a matter of days, Kokki was skewed - in the literal sense. His spine stiffened, and his neck was twisted to the side, which made it very difficult to run straight. But he continued his nightly rounds, poking at the walls.

A month later he was gone.

For half a year the owner grieved, then he took the puppy, gave him the nickname Kokki, and gradually began to teach. Soon he began to let go to run, to warm up along the street. But in the very first days, the car knocked him to death. Which in itself is strange, because. cars do not drive here and they certainly try to protect all living creatures - they are all their own.

A year has passed. A new attempt - what exactly happened this time - I do not know, but the next puppy disappeared even faster.
They will never have a dog again. The curse imposed by the mistress will destroy them*. And for how long, who knows.

Do we understand the full power of words spoken or suppressed in ourselves, in hatred, anger, in any negative states? After all, killing each other, we generate retaliatory strikes. And the force of these blows is terrible.

Hence the big piece of advice: don't name your loved ones after someone. Even if the names are the same (for example, the grandfather and grandson are called Mikhail), they remain different and independent of each other. Of course, the karma of the clan also plays a role in the family, so it is difficult to achieve complete independence from it, but at least it will not be an artificial (violent) imposition.

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