How to learn to trust your husband and not be jealous? Jealousy is a bad adviser and destroys even the strongest families. Unfortunately, cases are not uncommon. What to do if the spouse asks for forgiveness and wants to save the family? Should I trust my husband? How to reduce the pain of betrayal and return to the old relationship? More on this later in the article.

Why do cheating happen?

It is important in all stressful situations not to resolve the issue hastily. It is advisable to spend some time in solitude. Find out for yourself what is the reason for the betrayal. After all, sometimes the wife herself can push. And she does not even notice how she does it. Before we talk about how to learn to trust a husband, give advice on this issue, find out the possible reasons for cheating on a spouse.

Let's look at the main situations:

1. A woman, having married, simply ceases to monitor her appearance. Nobody asks for a perfect figure, but 100 kg weight is already too much.
2. The girl ceases to follow her wardrobe, hairstyle. It is much more pleasant to live with a beautiful and well-groomed wife. For this, beauty salons are optional. It is enough not to walk at home in front of your spouse in a leaky dressing gown and with disheveled hair.
3. It is worth evaluating your behavior. If every day there are quarrels, reproaches, humiliation of the husband, then here even strong love will not save you from betrayal.
4. Don't be jealous for no reason. If you arrange interrogations for your husband every day and be jealous of every skirt, then this can simply push for treason. Indeed, sometimes men act according to this principle: since the wife believes that there is a betrayal, then why not. Then at least the swearing will be justified.

To strengthen feelings, you need to show your love and loyalty to your husband. But not too intrusive.

Having assessed the situation in a calm state, you can give the floor to your husband if he wants to explain himself and talk. You don't have to decide everything yourself. All scandals in the family are the mistakes of both. And cheating is no exception. After listening to all the arguments of the husband, one may wonder whether it is worth forgiving the spouse.

Change and Forgiveness

Should you forgive your husband? How can I learn to trust my husband again? We will now find answers to these questions. Forgiveness can be decided after solitary conversations. Don't look for outside advice. This will only aggravate the situation, but it will not give the right answer. Remember that you will always have time to expel your spouse, but whether he will return to the family later is already a question.

And if the wife calmly assesses the situation, listens to her husband, behaves adequately to the situation, then this will only raise her in the eyes of her partner. After reconciliation, you can even arrange a small vacation for two. It will help to more accurately understand feelings, to understand whether it is worth giving them another chance or everything is already lost.

How to overcome the fear of re-infidelity?

If a decision is made to save the family, then it is worth figuring out how to learn to trust your husband again after infidelity. But first you need to learn to control yourself. After the betrayal of a husband, women often do not leave the feeling of fear that the spouse can change again. What to do?

• You need to distract yourself from these thoughts. If possible, you can start going to the gym, swimming pool. Visit friends more often. Just do not start a conversation with friends about treason. It will only pull at the wound and will not let the emotions cool down.
• The best way out is considered or interests. For example, take up an interesting hobby (start a blog, go swimming, get carried away reading literature), change your hairstyle, style of clothing. You can also do yoga. It helps to balance the nervous system and understand yourself. In general, you need to be cheerful and enjoy life. Not a single man will pass by such a woman.
• The stronger sex loves well-read women, or rather interlocutors with whom there is something to talk about. And it's easy to become one. You don't have to spend hours reading books to do this. It is enough to self-develop for an hour, at least on the Internet. It will also be interesting and useful in life.
• The most important rule is to love and respect yourself. If a person does not respect himself, he will not achieve this from others.
• Do not be jealous of her husband with more force. On the contrary, you need to give him freedom. It’s better that the husband is now afraid of losing his wife, who not only behaved wisely, but also looks great and does not lose heart.
• If you can’t cope on your own and it’s hard for you to psychologically overcome yourself, then it’s better to turn to a psychologist. You can work through the problem with it.

It is such a woman who will attract more attention to herself than a lady who has launched herself even more and is constantly depressed. At the sight of his wife's changes, the husband will be more interested in her and will appreciate his soul mate more. The fear of losing such a wife will push back the spouse's desire for treason.

How to get rid of emptiness in the soul after infidelity?

After the feeling of hatred for her husband passes, a feeling of emptiness appears in the soul. Often this manifests itself in people with low self-esteem. Therefore, before talking about how to learn to trust your husband after infidelity, you need to talk about how to understand yourself and raise yourself in your own eyes and the eyes of others.

1. Don't make an elephant out of a fly. This is the most obvious sign of low self-esteem. Every problem has a solution. And instead of lamenting how bad everything is, you need to pull yourself together and look for a way out of this situation.
2. It is necessary to pay attention to all your own, even small, victories and achievements.
3. Do not push away the care of loved ones. Accept it with gratitude. Allow yourself to spend money on yourself (buy ice cream, a beautiful blouse). Set aside free time, again only for yourself (watching a series, reading a book, and so on). You need to love yourself and enjoy even a rainy day. A happy person attracts the attention of others and looks like a confident person.
4. Find out your strengths and weaknesses in character. And try to get rid of your shortcomings.
5. When there are days that you just want to cry or scream, you can drink a course of sedatives during this period.
6. When a feeling of emptiness appears in the soul, you should not fill it with caring for children or other people's problems. It is better to pay attention to yourself and your own self-development. Stop suffering and allow yourself to be made a victim.

A woman who knows her own worth will never let herself be offended, she will be much wiser about her husband's betrayal and will not respond. Indeed, many believe that it is easier to survive the deceit of her husband. Reciprocal betrayal is the fate of weak people.

Find out the relationship

How to learn to trust your husband? Before you start building relationships anew, you need to understand that you will never be able to completely forget betrayal. But why remember it every day? It's in the past and nothing can change. You need to continue to live on, not upsetting your life with bad events.

Many women are interested in learning how to learn to trust their husband again. You need to answer this question for yourself, whether it will be possible to live next to a spouse who has already deceived once. Otherwise, further married life will turn into a nightmare. You also need to fully clarify the relationship with your husband. You can even scream and break the dishes. Emotions must come out completely. Resentment should not be drowned out and accumulate from day to day.

When not to stay in a relationship

If the husband reacted to treason as an ordinary, everyday event, then it is not worth keeping the family here. In no case should you justify the misconduct of your spouse. Knowing this position of his wife, he will go to the left with enviable regularity.

Be friends for a while

How to learn to trust your husband? Psychologists advise, after a splash of initial emotions, to express to each other what specifically does not suit the spouses. This is done so that there are no repeated changes.

But still, how to learn to trust your husband? The advice of a psychologist sounds like this: if a decision is made not to leave and try to start all over again, then at first you can just try to be good friends to each other. Also, do not blame the husband after the betrayal of all mortal sins. Do not forget that the decision was made together. Therefore, one should try not to remember the past.

The decision was made to save the family. What can be done to strengthen relationships?

To strengthen them, you need to try to spend more time together. If a vacation is not planned in the near future, then you can spend evenings and weekends together. At this time, new positive traits in the husband can be discovered.

Of course, from time to time memories of betrayal will slip. Especially at first. It is better to try not to start conversations again on this topic. Yes, and the spouse can just get tired of such conversations. Then the family will fall apart.

If you do not know how to learn to trust your husband again, then remember that the most ideal option is to cross out the past. You need to start your marriage anew. But try not to make mistakes, which could serve as a betrayal of her husband. Ideally, you can make a honeymoon.

Accept your husband's apology

This will help you later in the relationship. If you don't know how to learn to trust your husband again, then first learn to accept your spouse's apology. They can be expressed in the usual help with the housework, flowers, walks in the evening city. A husband sometimes feels much worse than a deceived wife. It could be much harder for him. After all, he almost destroyed the family. After reconciliation, it is worth living in the present and not looking at past grievances. Forgiveness and understanding of her husband's infidelity, wise decision-making is the lot of strong women.

Cheating in the family, unfortunately, is quite common. And only a wise and intelligent woman can save a family. And often betrayal only strengthens the family. After all, the wife then grows in the eyes of her husband. He begins to be proud of his chosen one. And the wife begins to look at her husband in a different way. And often he begins to see those virtues that he had not noticed before.

Conclusion

Now you know how to learn to trust your husband. And if a decision is made to forgive a spouse, save a family, then these tips given in the article will help any woman cope with infidelity, look wise after making a decision, and also become more loved and desired by her husband.

Trusting a husband after his betrayal: are there any guarantees against relapse? In my psychologist’s office, the question is heard daily: “Do you think, after my husband’s betrayal and reconciliation with him, can I be sure that we have saved the family really forever? Is there any guarantee that my husband understood everything, made the right conclusions for himself and will never again hurt me by cheating or leaving the family?

As an experienced and honest specialist, I upset women by saying that, unfortunately, there is no one hundred percent guarantee against repeated betrayals. I will say more: in my practice, hundreds of times it happened that the same women committed adultery, who, having gone through the betrayal of their husband and returned him to the family according to my methods, who took oaths of eternal fidelity from him, after months or years they themselves came across on their own treason. And their own shocked husbands came to me for a consultation. And many more times it happened that even in the process of reconciliation of a couple, where there was a betrayal of the husband, and the wife angrily stigmatized him with “maleness and intransigence”, it suddenly turned out that she herself had a lover, and her own connection arose even earlier than the connection husband.

Thus, without firm guarantees against female adultery, it is difficult for me to promise someone protection from repeated male adultery. Especially considering the fact that in the brain of sexually active men, in principle, there are no protective devices against female sexual manipulation. Nature simply did not provide for them. Because if men had the gift to calmly watch how interesting women give them sexual appeals specifically, then humanity would have died out long ago.

Nevertheless, without having at least some hope for a brighter future, a person cannot live, will not have the motivation to keep a family, and will not be able to communicate correctly. So what can we advise to those women who, having saved the family after infidelity, and for the sake of this somewhere even crossed their principles, still strive to understand: “Is there any hope for the exclusion of recurrence of infidelity on the part of the husband, and if so, what exactly? does this need to be done in the family? Is it possible to trust that cheating husband who seemed to have said that he wants to save the family? How accurate can it be?"

I answer as clearly as the question was clearly formulated. Moreover, the scheme in this case is simple. To paraphrase the well-known saying that “everything ingenious is simple!”, I will say this:

Everything ingenious is simple!

Everything genital is as easy as shelling pears!”

You will see for yourself now. According to my professional observations, the formula for trusting a man is as follows:

“The presence of past betrayals + The duration of the revealed love affair + The amount of the husband’s financial investment in his mistress + The completeness of repentance and parting with his mistress + the man’s absence of harmful addictions + the correctness of the wife’s behavior after reconciliation with her husband + the presence of large joint goals in the family + the transparency of the life of the spouses + completeness mutual control of spouses.

Now I will decipher this formula.

- "The presence of past betrayals." If your husband has been caught cheating for the first time, it is quite obvious that he will have much less faith than if this were the first and only episode in the history of your marriage. If your husband systematically gives you reasons for jealousy, you don’t need to have special illusions: if everything is sad according to the following criteria, you can forget about the guarantees of a calm family life.

- "Duration of revealed love relationship." If your husband’s “left” connection was one-time (such as intimacy on a business trip or drunk at a corporate party or at a friend’s dacha) or lasted only a few months, then there is a great hope that these relationships themselves will be severed forever, and your husband himself will not managed to get used to the regular conduct of a "double" life. If the betrayal has lasted for a year, or even for several years, then everything is much worse. First, from the point of view of a family psychologist

Years of betrayal is essentially a second family,

that is, in fact - a secret civil marriage.

Accordingly, it is very difficult to break off such relationships that are filled not only with sex, but also with travel, communication, plans, mutual care and the same mutual obligations. And no matter how the red-handed husband himself declares his readiness to “forget everything in the interests of preserving the legitimate family,” I personally always warn wives that the possibility of restoring this connection may not last for several more years. That is, until this female lover herself marries and / or gives birth to another man. Thus, she will lose her feminine motive for reconnecting with your husband. But, if she cannot get married or this marriage turns out to be unsuccessful for her, clouds may again gather over your family. That is why, in especially severe cases (with a great threat of relapse), I directly advise wives to find an opportunity to move with a husband returned to the family to other cities, regions or even countries. Or develop schemes on how it is profitable to marry an ex-lover. Or use other methods.

Secondly, no one has yet canceled the principles of the conditioned reflex of Pavlov's dog. A man who for many years has been accustomed to a secret life and receiving sexual pleasures in such a format that tickles his nerves will most likely strive to restore such a habitual and comfortable way of life for his vanity, simply changing his left girlfriends, ruthlessly surrendering to his wife and changing on someone else. The once-launched cyclic carousel usually stops after 45-50 years, when a man’s libido begins to gradually decrease, and the brain finally matures.

Increasing the family decency of a man

usually coincides with a decrease in its potency.

Therefore, when it is clearly known that the husband's love affair on the side lasted three to five years, there are usually no easy victories. Except in the case when the mistress herself objectively turns out to be on the side of the wife, her patience has burst and she herself harshly rebuffed her lover in a panic, rushing between the women, who was unable to immediately choose one of them. If, however, a long-term lover in every possible way emphasizes her willingness to wait at least until retirement (especially now noticeably delayed) and to accept a man who has returned to the family at any time, it is very difficult to talk about a great credit of trust in such a husband. It needs an eye for an eye.

- "The amount of financial investment of the husband in his mistress." If, having learned about her husband's infidelity, the wife also revealed the notorious "elements of the sweet life", i.e. his significant costs for this connection (expensive gifts, foreign travel, payment for expensive plastic surgeries and elite fitness, donated cars and assistance in purchasing housing, etc.), must be soberly understood: the man himself will be very sorry to lose his investments and his it will be psychologically very difficult for a mistress to part with such a generous sponsor who has made life noticeably easier and more prosperous.

Generous men do not roll on the road.

They lie in the beds of the women they invest in.

Lying on the road are former generous men who have already been milked.

Therefore, knowing that the husband generously invested in his mistress, the wife should be prepared for a very long and careful observation of his behavior after returning to the family. Because:

A woman is able to refuse communication with a generous man

only having met either an even more generous man, or the same,

but who is either unmarried or leaves his wife more quickly.

- "The fullness of repentance and parting with his mistress." If, after revealing his wife’s infidelity, a man quickly made a fundamental decision, quickly informed his mistress about the final break in communication, and also quickly restructured his life schedule in such a radical way in such a way as to completely exclude both personal contacts with her and telephone communication for any reason, then For the wife, this is good news. Such men, most often, in fact, in the future make the right family conclusions and remain faithful to their wife. If, however, for weeks and months a man repeated like a mantra that he was “confused” and rushed between women, if he continued to work together with his mistress or began to creatively find any “cases” and reasons for communicating with her (such as help, counseling, etc.) etc.), if he never told his wife the details of the relationship and did not reveal the identity of his mistress, many such men are a “time bomb” that very often explodes again and again. And the wife’s battle for her husband flares up again and again, and each battle that seems to the wife “general” and “brilliant” again turns out (based on the aphorism of this article), alas, again another and genital. So take note:

The fullness of future trust depends on the fullness of past repentance.

- "The absence of harmful addictions in a man." Everything is simple here. Alcoholics, drug addicts and gamers, i.e. men who are unable to properly control their emotions and actions cannot themselves guarantee that their family position is firm. And after drinking alcohol, such men often "break down" and begin to call and write emotional love messages to their "former" ones. Or drunkenly go to the former mistresses from his wife, and when he comes to his senses, in disgrace, return back to his wife and beg for another forgiveness. Men without harmful addictions, although they can also break down, nevertheless, do it many times less often.

- "The correct behavior of the wife after reconciliation with her husband." If a wife, considering it right for herself to ask and return her cheating husband to the family, did five things:

- well analyzed her female mistakes and managed to correct them;

- provided her husband with quality sex, interesting communication, delicious food and home comfort, shared his hobbies with him and got along with his environment;

- managed to become a really attractive woman (and not just like herself and close friends);

- she did not humiliate herself, showed firmness and was able to force her husband to repent and give guarantees of her fidelity in the future;

- created a psychologically easy atmosphere in the family by not reproaching her husband for the mistakes he had made in the past.

... then the husband with a high degree of probability will receive in the family exactly what he was looking for on the side. If the wife could not realize any of this, the husband may again begin to look to the left ...

- "The presence in the family of large joint goals." It is not enough to save the family and defend it from the contenders. It is important to save it for something. I emphasize, not only for someone - bearing in mind the interests of the material support of the wife and children herself, but also for something. The family as a whole, that is, both spouses, should have some big joint goals and plans for the years to come. If tactful plans were developed and accepted by both partners, or the wife not only shared her husband's plans, but also became involved in their active implementation, then the husband will clearly remain faithful and can be trusted. Because, betraying his wife, thereby he will betray his own interests. Smart men usually don't make such mistakes. If there is a void in the joint goals of the family, or the wife does not share the really significant goals of her husband, it makes no sense to talk about trust. The husband will still look for his soul mate on the side and, most likely, will find her. Or one that appears to be.

- "Transparency of the life of spouses." After the reconciliation of the spouses, it is important for them to synchronize their lives, build schedules for their work and their leisure time, with an emphasis on maximum jointness and transparency. Codd spouses always know who is doing what, with whom they communicate, how much they earn, where they spend their money, and - most importantly, they strive to be together as much as possible.

If you wish, you can be close to a loved one even at a distance,

if you don't want to, you can be distant to each other, lying in the same bed.

Only complete transparency helps to create the very feeling of trust and is the shortest path to mutual trust in a couple.

- "The completeness of mutual control of the spouses." Here we are talking about the fact that the spouses have every right to call each other at any time (preferably by video call), use each other's mobile phones, tablets and computers, know the passwords for all of each other's social network accounts, etc. If, after the betrayal of the husband and reconciliation, the husband and wife gave such a right to each other, trust is almost always returned, and relapses of betrayal are extremely rare. If the spouses did not receive such a right and the “gray zone” still remains in their communication, then the most notorious “personal space”, sooner or later betrayals come again. It is important to understand: from an opaque “gray zone” in life to a “black hole” in relationships is one step.

Personal space in the family - this "black hole"

which gradually destroy first mutual trust

between spouses, and then the family itself.

Now you know the formula, in which there are as many as nine terms. I can’t cover the entire infinite fullness of life, but I can say that in those couples where there is a positive situation in at least six of the nine terms, most often the spouses successfully restore both the family and trust in the family, betrayal will bypass them in the future. If the situation is negative in more than three terms, trust is restored for a long time and with difficulty, and the risks of relapse, unfortunately, are high.

All of the nine points are very important. But the following are especially important:

- The fullness of remorse and parting with his mistress

- The absence of harmful addictions in a man

- The correct behavior of the wife after reconciliation with her husband

- Transparency of the life of the spouses

- Completeness of mutual control of the spouses.

These are usually the key points. It is on them that a woman needs to concentrate, it is in them that complete victory should be achieved.

If this article is read by a woman who, fortunately, has passed the situation with her husband's infidelity, taking into account these factors can help build family life in such a way that there will never be cheating in it at all. Proactive actions are always more effective than subsequent ones. This principle has not been canceled.

I talk in more detail about the topics raised in this article in my books such as How to Strengthen Your Marriage, Family Quakes, If Your Husband Cheated or Left, and You Want to Bring Him Back into the Family, Quarrels Around Sex . I highly recommend reading them.

If you need the help of a psychologist in overcoming the crisis in your family life, I will be happy to try to help you during a personal or remote online consultation. The terms of the consultation are described on my website. On it you can also find my books and articles that may be useful to improve your life. Appointment for a consultation by phone: +79266335200.

Sincerely, psychologist, professor Andrey Zberovsky.

Trust is the cornerstone of a stable relationship. In families where spouses trust each other and can openly express their feelings and emotions, psychologists observe a high level of happiness, a sense of stability and affection between spouses.

However, the idyll of a trusting relationship can sometimes be shaken by adultery of one of the spouses. Violation of the fidelity of marriage puts mutual trust between family members into question and can bring serious emotional problems to the victim of infidelity.

Come to terms with grief

“Why did this happen to me? Did I choose the right partner in life? Who is this person anyway? Can I trust my husband after infidelity, or will our relationship always be in jeopardy now? - these and other questions a woman asks herself when she finds out about adultery on the part of her husband.

Her sleep may be disturbed, nervousness, tearfulness, painful and anxious thoughts appear, attention and self-esteem decrease. From time to time, a woman can scroll before her pictures of a gloomy future, or lose all interest in the world around her and show apathy. This condition is called post-traumatic stress disorder. The best thing to advise in this case is to seek help from a psychologist.

But even if it is not possible to use the services of a specialist, you should not keep or deny negative emotions. It is necessary for some time to come to terms with a period of grief, to communicate with a person who can listen and comfort. You can pour out your soul to a friend, mother, or use a diary and describe in it all your painful experiences and thoughts.

It is important to be kind to yourself, not to self-flagellate, not to criticize or blame yourself. Recognize your vulnerability at this moment in life. And most importantly - do not make any hasty decisions. It is better to take a little time out for yourself to recover and recover.

What's next - to replenish the fair of brides or restore trust in a spouse?

Only when the intensity of passions goes out, and rationality and balance of judgments return, can we begin to resuscitate relations. Now you can discuss the incident with your husband in more detail. You should immediately decide not to blame each other, to speak honestly and sincerely.

It is important to understand the attitude of the traitor to what is happening. Does he repent? Asking for forgiveness? Does he plead guilty or not? A woman should be ready to accept any truth, whatever it may be.

There is no point in restoring trust in a relationship if the adulterer shows complete disrespect for the woman and demonstrates with all his behavior that he will continue to cheat and deceive her. In such a situation, it is worth admitting defeat in the relationship and look at a new future without this man. What is the use of living your life in a constant state of stress, married to a pathological liar and a deceiver who will simply wipe his feet on a woman?

Only if the perpetrator of the tragedy feels remorse, accepts all the blame for what is happening and asks for forgiveness, we can talk about further resuscitation measures.

Reconciliation through communication

To restore trust in her husband, it is important for a woman to clarify the attitude towards each other in the family.

By communicating openly and sincerely, without blaming or criticizing, one can understand the reason for the emotional separation between spouses. By understanding these causes and effects, it will be easier to restore trust in a relationship after infidelity and find ways to resolve the situation.

You can ask the following questions: what prompted the spouse to cheat, what became its trigger, and most importantly, what made the man repent, confess everything and return to the family? You can make joint lists of what needs to be changed, what to pay attention to, what unmet needs of each other have been overlooked.

Trust must be earned!

The husband needs to understand that his act has shaken the trust of the second half, and in order to restore it, the woman needs time and effort. Of course, the wife is ready to work on her trust in him after what happened. But she will not be able to strengthen the relationship and forgive him if he stays up late at work, communicate with the opposite sex on the phone or on social networks. This behavior is simply unacceptable! If a man is going to keep the relationship, he must confirm his love and affection by changing his behavior.

If, with the permission of her husband, a woman has access to his address book and contacts, it will be easier for her to restore her lost faith in his honesty and fidelity. Yes, it may sound silly, but such is the nature of shattered trust. This is not an encroachment on his privacy, but only resuscitation measures aimed at restoring his reputation. Such openness on the part of a man will help reduce a woman's anxiety after a stressful experience. When her emotional state and level of trust are restored, the need for such tight control will disappear by itself.

The price of subsequent betrayal

The spouse must also understand that the price of his subsequent affair on the side is a direct step towards parting with his wife. She will not live with a liar who dares to deceive her again. This way of posing the question reduces the likelihood of subsequent incidents of infidelity and allows you to restore trust in each other.

Demonstration of attention to the partner from the wife

For her part, in order to prevent further emotional separation and begin to get closer to her partner, a woman can pay more attention to him.

Here are five ways you can do it:

1. Show love to your husband more often.

Expressing love for your life partner in words, deeds, kisses and hugs is perhaps one of the best and surest ways to keep your partner from further infidelity. To make it easier to do this, you can remember those pleasant moments when the couple first met, when they were in love with each other to the point of madness.

2. Show kindness and care to your partner.

You need to learn to forgive and not pay attention to the minor misconduct of a husband. Try to notice all his actions aimed at rapprochement. Pay attention to his health and well-being.

3. Compliment his appearance.

Men also need attention to themselves, they want to feel courageous and strong. Why not tell them what they really want?

4. Listen to your partner without giving advice, and help when he needs it.

Sometimes relationships and trust collapse just because one of the spouses does not pay enough attention to the emotions and inner world of the other. If a husband has difficulties at work, it is simply necessary to listen to him, to let him talk. A woman can show that she is on his side and understands his feelings.

But you need to be careful!

Sometimes a man needs to be completely removed even from people close to him in order to think alone about the problems that he faces every day.

5. Show affection.

Do not be shy to show your husband that a woman needs him, that he means a lot to her. Demonstrating her fragility, affection and dependence, a woman flatters a man's pride and increases his self-esteem.

6. Spend time together.

Find time for joint activities. Go somewhere on the weekend. Travel together, play sports, plan a vacation together to change the scenery.

7. Pay attention to the intimate side of the relationship.

Full-fledged sexual intimacy causes a feeling of affection, trust in each other and can serve as a powerful "barrier" from external provoking factors for a partner.

It is necessary to openly discuss the joint sexual needs of the spouses. What do they like in bed? What excites? How often would partners like to have sex? What fantasies do they have about this?

Talking about sex is a skill that is hard to overestimate.

For a man, sex is an integral and important part of his life. Dissatisfaction with intimacy can cause painful thoughts in him, create emotional distance and a desire to "break away on the side."

Intimate conversations and a fulfilling sex life are simply necessary to prevent betrayal, get closer to each other and restore lost trust after infidelity.

Trust is a lifesaver!

Modern research by psychologists and sociologists shows that it is possible to restore trust after infidelity. To do this, each of the spouses must make appropriate efforts.

You can not close in yourself, avoid clarifying the situation or hide your emotions. It is important to communicate openly, without blaming the other, to understand the feelings and point of view of the partner. You may need the help of a psychologist to restore the relationship. But the efforts spent on the resurrection of lost trust will pay off with happiness and satisfaction from a renewed family life with a loved one.

Everything was just fine, but it was worth distracting: defending a diploma, paying attention to a career, giving birth to a child - and now the ghost of a homeowner looms on the horizon.

You chose the best and most worthy, and if he is convicted of treason, what can we say about the rest of the men. Is it possible to restore trust if a man cheated on you - let's talk about this painful topic today.

Numerous Internet resources, newspapers and magazines often publish psychologist's advice, where, among reasonable ones, there are also funny recommendations:

• take care of yourself (hairstyle, manicure, hairpins);
• repeat to yourself or out loud like a mantra: men are good;
• get a parrot or a hamster, and express your grievances;
• analyze your behavior, do not deny your loved one intimacy and do not bother if the husband comes in the morning, not sober and does not give clear answers to specific questions.

But in addition to these "effective measures", I would personally advise you to analyze, perhaps you are indirectly to blame for his betrayals.

Why do they change

Sadly, they cheat not only overweight and lazy, but also slender, caring wives and successful, sought-after specialists. There are any reasons: out of boredom, out of curiosity, out of “momentary weakness”.

In addition, many representatives of the stronger sex are sure that:

• everyone does it;
• will not disappear from me;
• think it's a tragedy;
• no one will feel bad about it.

Just analyze the experience of your communication. Do you often speak heart to heart, have you expressed your attitude to betrayal to your beloved clearly and definitely.

Do you turn to him for advice and support, or do you prefer to rely on the opinion of friends and parents whom you trust more. Perhaps there was no trusting relationship between you from the very beginning. Speaking of losing trust, it’s worth understanding what this concept means to you.

In any case, let the accused of treason (which may have taken place only in your imagination) speak out. But just be prepared to hear the truth, which will be unpleasant for you. Listening is valuable in a relationship.

Already, what to do next, how to live on after the betrayal of a loved one, only you decide. Women tend to give their partner another chance so as not to destroy the family. This decision requires strength of mind, but a truly loving man will appreciate such generosity.

In any case, a frank conversation will bring certainty, which means relief. But if, after a difficult conversation, you decide to continue the journey "in the same boat", try not to fall into excessive suspicion, do not humiliate yourself or your partner with petty nit-picking.

It's a shame to be deceived

However, not all women are able to forgive the humiliation and pain brought by the traitor. Psychologists say that the spectrum of negative emotions is associated with a sense of shame: you are ashamed to feel deceived.

You cannot forgive yourself for allowing yourself to be fooled. And to avoid a repetition of the situation, you prefer to simply avoid new relationships or the continuation of the previous ones.

In theory, the answer to the question of how to start trusting men again comes down to the need to forgive yourself for this mistake. You are a living person and you are not able to live an ideal life, and of course, you can make a mistake in someone.

But in life you should not avoid communication with the opposite sex. These are neighbors, work colleagues, anyone. Try to be friends with them. Perhaps learn to understand men better.

The thankless role of the victim

A big misconception in situations like this is the belief that you are now an unfortunate victim who has been deceived and betrayed. This is wrong.

To be happy or not is up to you.

It seems to me that this is the most difficult and, alas, not everyone succeeds. Learn to let go of what is no longer yours. It's not easy, but necessary.

If "your" man met a new love, let him be happy with her. Try not to accumulate old grievances, just draw conclusions and move on. Believe me, dragging a trail of negative emotions along with you is so hard that it simply will not allow you to move on.

So, in order to learn to trust the stronger sex again, I would advise:

• Do not leave the situation unexplained. Talk frankly about everything that worries, perhaps nothing irreparable has happened and you all misunderstood. Rarely, but this also happens, believe me.
• Do not torment a man with excessive suspicion, it is humiliating. Try to be a friend to your beloved, respect each other.
• Get rid of the habit of talking: all men are different, as are all women. But everyone, without the slightest exception, wants to be happy.
• Try to learn to be just happy, do what is interesting, enjoy what you like.

Marrying a man, a woman hopes and believes that he will love only her. But, as you know, much more than 50% of couples get divorced in Russia. A woman does not even think about betrayal, she considers such thoughts absurd. But then the husband had another woman, and his wife became aware of this.

What should a poor woman do when she finds out about her husband's infidelity? The choice, in fact, is small: either quit, or believe and live on. But how to trust your husband after cheating? It's very, very difficult. But there are chances to restore the family.

Understand the reasons

Having learned about the betrayal of a spouse and deciding that we should try to save the family, the first thing to do is understand why it happened, why your husband cheated on you. However, analyze not only the actions of the husband, but also your actions too. Indeed, in most cases, both parties are to blame. Putting all the blame on an unfaithful spouse is nowhere easier, but admitting blame to yourself is another matter. But if you do not thoroughly understand the reasons for the betrayal and do not admit your mistakes, if they were (and they certainly are), you will not be able to restore the family.

Suspicion means unworthy

You forgave your husband and began to live on, but you are regularly tormented by doubts, they say, all of a sudden he didn’t leave his mistress, but what if he is still cheating on me, but I don’t know. Every time you begin to be overcome by doubts of this kind, repeat to yourself: “If I suspect a loved one of infidelity, then I am unworthy of him, I can’t cope with the role of his beloved woman”.

No self pity

No need to feel sorry for yourself, justifying your husband: "I used to be prettier and younger, but now it's hard to compete with young slender beauties." By the way, women at 40 are at the peak of their sexuality and attractiveness, so these are weak arguments.. In addition, the majority of the stronger sex, cheating (cheating) on ​​their wives, eventually choose a family. Why would they exchange stability, a warm bed and a delicious dinner, a wife with whom they have established a relationship, for precarious inconstancy? Throw a husband to his wife and if he wants to marry his mistress, he will have to build relationships from scratch. Remember this. You only need to divert the attention of the beloved man from the rival, and he will forget about her.

Awaken in him the desire to return home

So that the spouse does not think about going to the left, make him look forward to getting home from work. For example, in the late afternoon, call him at work, tell him that a surprise awaits him at home, let him not linger. These words alone will already interest him, and he will probably hurry up from work. And you, by the time he arrives, set the table, create a romantic atmosphere in the living room, put on your sexiest lingerie. Such a surprise