Question to the psychologist:

My ex-wife wanted a divorce because she said she likes another young man and wants to be with him. But we have a common daughter, whom I love very much. My ex-wife and I have been divorced for over a month, but I still can't forget. In the beginning, I went to the hospital, experienced the most serious there, I thought I would go out and everything would be fine. But he didn’t think about her for maybe 5 days. And then he found out that she was already living with him, and that he was playing with my daughter. Now I can not forget her, and I think about my ex. And I know that we will no longer be together, because I will never forgive betrayal and my loved ones will not understand me. And I can’t meet other girls now, because I think about her. I can't talk to other girls right now. And now, when she is doing well, she does not even respond to SMS, and when she is bad, she writes herself. She knows when she feels bad, I feel it. And now I understand that some person took everything from me: my wife and daughter. When I walk with my daughter, she tells me everything about how good my ex is and that this uncle plays with my daughter. How can I forget my ex-wife? That would not even think of her as well.

The psychologist Ladatko Marina Georgievna answers the question.

Good day, Michael. It is unlikely that you will be able to forget your ex-wife. She was a significant part of your life and yes, it was really good. But, something did not suit her and she decided to change her life. Is it good or bad? It is impossible to say for sure. That's it. This is her choice. Whatever he was, she lives her life. You, Michael, live your life.

Once you yourself attracted this woman into your life and what you have now is your life experience. What does he teach you? To be stricter / stronger / wiser / more careful / more trusting / more open or more closed? Think about it. Sit down and write a test for yourself "what did the experience of living with this woman give me? What does this situation teach me." Re-read and understand how you want to live for yourself (not for parents, friends, acquaintances, wife - former or future, but just so that you feel comfortable).

People come into our lives to teach us something. Someone teaches us all our lives, someone fleetingly for a couple of years. But people can leave: leave us or leave life. It is difficult for us to build life in a new way and we suffer. And you should take yourself into a fist and develop new habits. Our sadness for someone is a simple physiology: the brain is stubborn and strikes, makes us break down (depression, etc.), since it needs to develop new neural connections, and this is difficult. Therefore, Michael, control your brain! Give him a job: write what you would like to do, find or resume your hobbies, switch to hobbies, work, new people. Start doing what you haven’t done yet: if you didn’t go out for a run in the morning, go out, and if you went out, then go for a swim; if you didn’t meet girls or were shy, then start a conversation with them in line, in transport, at work ... if you communicated easily, write letters to your friends, come up with something virtuoso, make your brain work for you.

Yes, Mikhail, being divorced for a month is nothing: memories are fresh (everything: smells, sensations, sounds, images). You can zoom out, dim them, play them like you've watched a movie you're directing, tell the actors their place and role, rewrite the script, or just watch. This helps too. You try. But, most importantly, you need to understand: little time has passed. It takes time to suffer. Yes, you can fall into deep melancholy and sour in it, until one of the days it comes by itself: "Enough!". Or you can exhale from the depths, untie this anchor and go on an independent voyage. Life is varied, interesting, just have time to catch the wave.

Michael, learn to live in a new way. It's always difficult, but possible. Expand your boundaries, open new horizons. Mentally express your gratitude to your ex-wife for what she taught you to Syomu. The daughter is calm and happy to meet you - thanks to her mother and the person with whom they live.

Yes, it's embarrassing. It hurts. This is called humility and acceptance of life.

Your wife has gone to another... will she be happy? This question has been haunting you for many days now. We will solve your problem and answer with numbers: according to statistics, more than half of the wives who decide at some point to leave their husbands, then come back. This is due to two main factors:

- disappointment

- insight.

Now we will explain the essence of the matter in more detail.

When does a wife get frustrated?
The scheme is very simple: living with you as with a beloved spouse, she gets used to comfort, to the fact that she is taken care of and to the fact that every day she has a certain amount of money in her account, and her children are shod, dressed and fed.
On the other hand, over time, the spouse may want new thrills and emotions. And you, as a husband who brings money, are so immersed in work and problem solving that you may not notice it.

Thus, the desire for something new, happy, unusual, grows more and more in a woman every day, and she begins to look around. Leaving for a new lover, the lady leaves for a new life. She is waiting for new experiences, happiness, the fact that her everyday life will be filled with positive emotions and new events every day. And most importantly, she expects that the new man will make her life even better, even more beautiful than with you, even more comfortable.
Psychologists dubbed all this in a very simple and understandable word for everyone: “emotions”. And emotions, as you know, are a fickle thing.

Today they are, tomorrow they are not, today they are positive, and tomorrow they turn into disappointment and boredom.

After a while, when the “emotional influx” gradually gives way to a sober mind, the wife begins to critically evaluate her new partner, and understands that the same life awaits her with her new chosen one as her husband. Or maybe even worse, because it’s not a fact that a new person will be able to create the same greenhouse, comfortable conditions for her as her ex-husband. Moreover, it turns out that the new man has his own cockroaches in his head, his own claims and demands, which also need to be put up with and coexist somehow.

Thus, gradually, the wife becomes frustrated. She understands that her life will not be filled with happiness next to a new man, and that she hurried very quickly when she made a decision, as it seemed to her then - once and for all.

When does a wife have an epiphany?
On average, the period takes from 6 to 12 months. Enlightenment comes when a woman begins to compare her lover with her husband. And not always the new man wins in this comparison. If she lived with you like behind a stone wall, if she got used to the fact that you are her reliable support and always by her side, then she expects exactly the same care and confidence from her current man. The lady is convinced that he will also provide her with a reliable rear and confidence.
But men are different. One is strong and able to take care of his woman, while the other himself expects from her both care and support, and also earnings. That's when insight comes. In such a situation, the wife quickly realizes that she was in a hurry, leaving her husband, and begins to knock on the door that she recently slammed behind her.

Therefore, answering your question, let's say this: the chances are very high that after a while she herself will want to return to you. Moreover, you will surely return it as soon as you make a decision: to fight for your love. If you believe in yourself and set this goal for yourself, it will definitely be yours.

How to get your wife back?
You need to be better than her current man. She will definitely start comparing you, it's a matter of time. So, to get her back, do your best and become better than her current lover. Push her to the decision to choose you!

How to do it? You need to start working on yourself. Any success in this life comes to us after we set a goal, work and achieve it. The same can be said about your relationship with your spouse. She will definitely want to return to you if she sees positive changes in you for the better.

So, she will return if you:
- you will start working on your appearance, make it more sexy - attractive and healthy. Proper nutrition and taking care of your body is very important. This is also self-love.

- you will start working on your self-esteem and inner core. The willpower of any person is his destiny. Start working on your willpower, work on self-esteem and achieve success in other areas of life: business, sports, hobbies, communicating with friends.

Then your self-esteem will begin to grow and strengthen again, day by day. Women don't leave men who know their worth.

- start working on your life. The older we get, the more fears and laziness appear in us. Fight them every day, learn to fill your life schedule with events, and your life with communication with people, and you will see how your eyes light up again with a thirst for fire, events and passion.

Your wife will definitely notice all these changes in you, because she will actively follow you on social networks and learn news about you through mutual friends. At that moment, when the spouse finally realizes that she was in a hurry to leave for another man, and also compares the two of you, she will dial exactly your phone number.

So, let's go again, we will briefly go through the article and answer the question that worries you. You write: "The wife has gone to another ... will she be happy?". Statistics show that more than half of women go back to their husbands. She will be happy only when a man provides her with a reliable rear, comfort, care, and this is possible only with you. After all, you love her for real and you have a big, long history of love and mutual respect behind you. Therefore, do not hesitate, start working on yourself so that she wants to return to you again.

You need:

1. 1. Start taking care of your body and eating right to look good.
   2. Change image.
   3. Build and strengthen your self-esteem. It is faith in yourself that will help you get it back.
   4. Change your life by 180 degrees, make it bright and rich, so that your spouse wants to become a part of it.
   5. Do not hide from your wife that you are ready to return her, but you will not put pressure on her. She must make the decision to return herself, and she will accept it if you complete all these points!

The perception of the life of women and men is radically different, this is not a secret. And if everything seems quite good or even good to one, the other partner may experience a crisis in the relationship, and then leave them. But what if the wife decided to take such a desperate step?

How to get your wife back if she left for another man, is it worth it in principle? To begin with, it is worth identifying the possible causes of the gap, then understanding the appropriateness of actions, identifying unacceptable actions, and only then make a plan. Below will be described in detail the recommendations of psychologists for each item, as well as how to survive such a situation.

If the spouse not only left the family, but also preferred another man, this situation is extremely dramatically perceived by the man. But you need to immediately adequately perceive the situation, trying to find the reasons for the betrayal. Only in this case, you can find ways to get your ex-wife back from her lover.

There may be several reasons:

"I'm tired of pulling everything on myself". In modern society, it so happened that the fragile shoulders of a woman pull on themselves much more worries than she could handle. These are children, work, home, family, etc. Sooner or later, anyone can break down, deciding to find better conditions for life.

"Lack of Understanding". Spouses are obliged to constantly communicate, discuss each other's affairs, share difficulties. Some men neglect this because of differences of interest. While others use it wisely, attracting the attention of married ladies.

"Loneliness, lack of help." As soon as she begins to feel lonely in difficult situations, the search for a reliable shoulder automatically starts. Most likely, it will be a friend at first, but no one is immune from the outbreak of passion leading to treason.

"Doesn't Feel Love". When was the last time you told your wife that you love her, when you gave flowers, invited you on a date? Most likely, it was before the birth of children, if not earlier. She always wants to feel loved.

"You have become strangers." Due to the heavy workload, work, other worries, you are less and less at home, you are left alone with your beloved. Against this background, over time, everyone builds their own life, which does not depend on a partner. Sooner or later you will become strangers to each other.

"Lack of quality sex." Close relationships, passion, all this is important not only for the stronger sex, but also for women. Statistics confirm that more than 50% of divorces happen due to lack of sex. At the same time, sexologists insist that a happy woman is equal to a satisfied woman.

"Husband Alphonse". Many families today have changed social roles. A man can sleep until lunchtime, while his wife takes care of children, works all day long, and does housework. Her superiority leads to a loss of respect, a need for a stronger partner.

Do I need to return it

Every third divorced man, whose wife went to live with another and realized that she made a mistake, wonders if she should be returned. There are several reasons why it is definitely worth fighting for a second chance:

• "she still loves"- any, even the happiest marriage can break up, but if there is confidence that the ex-spouse has not stopped loving you, it makes sense to enter this river twice;
• "you initiated the divorce"- perhaps she would like to try to save the relationship, but could not resist your decision;
• "if there was no actual treason"- leaving for another man does not always mean that the relationship with him has gone to bed, and if you are firmly convinced of this, you can save the marriage;
• "joint children"- the most compelling reason for the return of a wife is the presence of children who forever make you family and friends, which means they can become a thread for restoring relationships;
• “you have realized the mistakes, are ready to change”- with the realization of gross blunders in the relationship and the desire to fix everything, you can declare this to your spouse, or maybe even she will give you a second chance.

Expert opinion

Elena Druzhnikova

Sexologist. Family Relations Expert. Family psychologist.

If you know that the ex-wife is not happy in a new relationship, if she often remembers you, is looking for a reason to communicate or meet, this can also be an indicator of a possible reunion.

How to get your wife back if another one has appeared

When there is though be minimal hope for a reunion. When common children grow up in a family. The most burning question is how to get your ex-wife back after a divorce if she is with someone else. There can be no specific instructions on how to behave. But there are some valuable psychological tips that will bring you closer to what you want.

Do you blame yourself for leaving your wife for another?

YesNo

1. Accept her decision. Even if it is difficult for you to accept her position, to let go, it is better to give her the opportunity to feel independence. Only in this case it will be possible to objectively evaluate the act.
2. Forget all grudges. Surely, the breakup was accompanied by harsh words, accusations. It must be remembered that resentment will not allow both of you to think soberly, causing only a feeling of self-pity.
3. Let her know that you are the best man. Believe in yourself, show your changes, taking into account the reasons for her departure. Do not leave her alone for a long time, wallowing in loneliness, she will wind up in her head what is not really there. Be there, show that she can count on you at any time.
4. Do things. Even if she decided to leave, leaving all household chores, family, show yourself from the best side. Do unpredictable actions to turn her world upside down, take care of her, as in her youth.
5. Meet more often with children. Thanks to parental responsibilities, you will be able to keep in touch with her, call, text, meet live. This will be another opportunity to prove yourself.

Even if she says that she has fallen out of love, until you see it for yourself, do not give up. Analyze for what qualities, deeds you were able to win her heart before marriage, focus on this. If there are children in common, this is a good reason to show her the value of your family.

What absolutely cannot be done

Termination of a relationship is stressful for both partners, which is why many make irreparable mistakes, exacerbate the situation. To make the return of your beloved woman real, eliminate the following errors:

What absolutely cannot be done?	Why shouldn't you do it?
Beg to stay	Do not show weakness, do not promise mountains of gold. This will only undermine your credibility, make her disrespect you.
be imposed	Do not overwhelm her with calls or text messages, this will first please her pride, and then become annoying.
Show fear of being left without her	Seeing how you are killing yourself, afraid of being alone, you will only strengthen her desire to leave. Even if it is, she shouldn't know about it.
Post sad posts on social media	Such manipulations do not work, and pity is not a lever for the return of the spouse. Few people care about the experiences of another person.
Throw yourself into new relationships	Even if she claims a decision to divorce, lack of feelings, love and happiness with another, this does not mean that you urgently need to rush into the arms of another woman.

If your wife leaves, will you humiliate yourself and beg her to return?

YesNo

How to deal with the loss of your wife

When divorce is imminent, it is important to properly accept this situation. Realize that a woman is not anyone's property, she has the right to choose her life path. In order not to plunge into pain and disappointment, it is worth surrounding yourself with friends, loved ones. The best solution is to make an old dream come true.

A qualified psychologist can help with such a difficult stage in life. No need to be ashamed of your own emotions, feelings, experiences. And even more so, it will be a big mistake to solder problems with strong drinks. Realizing the mistakes, forgiving them to yourself and your ex-wife, you can open up to new acquaintances, relationships.

A real man in any difficult situation must maintain composure. It will be difficult to restore harmony in life, the following valuable advice from specialists will help:

• fill the emotions received from her with others, more vivid;
• find hobbies, discover talents in yourself, this will raise self-esteem;
• make new acquaintances, getting inspiration from people;
• surround yourself with girlfriends, allow light flirting;
• change your style, rearrange, buy something substantial;
• understand your mistakes and eradicate them.

Your main task is to make her decision as calmly as possible. A frank conversation about the reasons, personal motives does not leave understatement. So, it will be easier to understand what to do next.

Not only women suffer from the betrayal of a partner. Very often, men also wonder how to get their wife back if she fell in love with another. And the strong half of humanity is surprisingly vulnerable when experiencing the loss of a loved one.

The more a woman we love

Psychology believes that attachment is the basis of any relationship. Its presence indicates that a person has entered a comfort zone. This state is characterized by the fact that there is no real dissatisfaction with one's life. Something may seem like a problem, offend, offend and hurt, but a person who is in a comfort zone is not going to change anything.

In relation to relationships, this is expressed in finding out who is right and who is wrong. Then the loved one is "forgiven" for his guilt. This is the moment when the fear of leaving your comfort zone overpowers common sense.

The question of what to do if the wife loves another, how to save the family, already contains part of the answer. Not feeling affection for a man, the woman preferred a relationship on the side. But the abandoned husband has not yet lost his love for her, trying to return the destroyed comfort zone. Hence the desire to return his wife, to restore relations that suited the spouse, but could not be accepted by his partner.

Looking closely at the problem, you can see that a strong man just became dependent on the benefits that he had in a relationship. And the main one is compliance with the image of a man accepted in society. The realization that someone else was preferred to him hits self-esteem the stronger, the greater the degree of attachment.

Is it worth returning the wife to the family?

Another question that men abandoned by their spouses are trying to solve: what to do if the wife left for another, how to return her? And hardly anyone is trying to think whether it is worth doing it.

Every person has some needs. The husband, who hopes to save the family, if the wife has fallen in love with another, really wants to maintain his status as a “real man”, head of the house, father, master. He does not consider his wife as a person who is entitled to have completely opposite desires.

Even if you resort to force or manipulation, trying to return your wife to the family, this is unlikely to bring joy. Dependent on the opinion of society, offended by a lady who dared to neglect his feelings and prefer another, a self-pitying person is not able to maintain the illusion of well-being for a long time. If the relationship has ended, then you should not try to resurrect the marriage.

But it also happens that adultery was an accidental hobby caused by the external gloss of a new man. If the cheating partner returns to her ex-spouse again, she probably feels a stronger attachment to him. But how to regain the trust of her husband after the betrayal of his wife?

We've all fallen in love and made mistakes. A fleeting infatuation of a partner should not cause negative emotions in a spouse, if in the end they are together again. If the wife fell in love with another, but so far is limited to flirting, the spouse should think about the fact that this is a signal of trouble in the relationship.

Until the complete collapse of the family happened, and the wife did not go to her lover, a really strong person should try to find the reasons that make the partner seek thrills not with him. And this, most likely, will not be the promiscuity of a woman, but her dissatisfaction with her relationship with her husband, whether it be sex or lack of money for new shoes. For the representatives of the weaker sex, the status of a woman who has managed to create a family, to be loved and taken care of by her husband is no less important.

But if the irreparable has already happened, the wife has gone to another, then how to return her will be a completely useless question. At first, any attempt to charm her again, to return her by force, manipulating her with the help of guilt or pity, simply cannot be adequately perceived. After all, if a person for some reason became indifferent, his feelings become unimportant.

Who is to blame and what to do?

Some men may begin to blame themselves for the fact that their wife left them. It would be as untrue as admitting her guilt. There is no right or wrong in this situation: everything happened the way it did.

If 2 people begin to depend on each other, that is, expect something specific from a partner, then sooner or later someone runs the risk of not living up to expectations. In this case, the spouses begin to experience mutual grievances:

• she - because her husband did not justify her hopes, that is, does not support her status as a wife;
• he - due to the fact that she preferred the other and thereby lowered his opinion of himself as a spouse.

But it is worth considering whether men really lose their value when their cheating wives leave them?

A deliberate answer to this question for yourself will help you understand something else: how to survive betrayal and is it worth returning love by force? Someone may object and say that relationships must be fought for. But if these relationships are tied to a simple habit and dependence on the opinions of friends, on what a person received in marriage, then they are unlikely to be needed.

For those who think in advance about what to do if the wife who cheated suddenly returns, the restoration of relations seems to be a welcome victory. In this case, the woman will certainly suffer: after all, a rare spouse will really forgive her to the end. And the question of how to get your wife back after infidelity takes on a slightly different connotation.

Considering the problem on the part of a spouse who wants revenge on a woman who has gone to a new lover, I want to ask: what will he do if she returns? After all, their further relationship can turn into a constant accusation of the spouse. Guilt can never even form a new attachment, and such a family will fall apart at every opportunity.

A family nest is that corner of paradise on earth that pacifies, energizes, gives strength and gives meaning to life. The family is the place where a person feels as comfortable and cozy as possible, where he contacts the most pleasant people for himself - his soulmate and his children. Men, although they try to be courageous and hide their awe in relation to people close to them, equally, along with women, they experience the most tender feelings for their child, and also treat their wives with an incredible sense of possessiveness. Therefore, a very unpleasant moment in the life of every man is the situation when his wife fell in love with another.

Prerequisites that push a woman to adultery

It often happens that a seemingly strong family breaks up for no reason, out of the blue. People wonder: how did this happen? After all, the union was so reliable, exemplary, prosperous and prosperous. But even in the most decent and socially exemplary family there are discords. And if society is accustomed to the fact that often men, due to their forty-year crises or their breed of "alpha male", transgress the boundaries of marital conditions, then cheating on a woman is much less common. Like snow on his head, a problem falls on a man - his wife fell in love with another. What to do?

The thing is, the problem doesn't come out of nowhere. Any situational model of human behavior has its own explanation, it is preceded by a certain premise. And if a man believes that this love of his unfaithful wife is suddenness, then he is deeply mistaken. There are many possible variations and circumstances that could push a woman to adultery, namely:

• fading of feelings towards her husband;
• inattention on the part of the spouse;
• disgusted life and thirst for new sensations;
• termination of intimacy between husband and wife;
• psycho-emotional stress;
• worries of a woman on the basis of age imbalance;
• family crisis;
• financial insolvency of a man;
• a disease that devours a woman from the inside and requires forgetting, often manifested in intimate relationships on the side.

You can talk for a long time about the possible reasons for female infidelity towards a spouse, but still they all have the same underlying reason - a failure in the psychological state and emotional instability of a woman who is confused in herself. But if a wife falls in love with another, is the husband to blame?

Is the husband to blame for cheating on his wife?

Men are not accustomed to admit their mistakes. They believe in life that their decision is the only right way out of this or that situation. It always seems to them that their actions are quite logical and justified, and if something goes wrong, then it is by no means their fault. Such, they say, is the coincidence of circumstances. Similarly, in a situation with adultery: if a wife fell in love with another and cheated, it is entirely her fault, shameless scoundrels! However, rarely does anyone from the representatives of the strong half of humanity think that the share of his guilt in what happened is prohibitively large. After all, even if we judge purely logically: what can move a woman in whose family there is an idyll, order, coherence in relations with her husband, love and mutual understanding, trust and regular passionate intimacy? Will the idea of ​​"having fun with someone else" on the side come into her head? Hardly. It’s just that it’s much easier for men to think that it’s absolutely not their fault in what happened, and that it was the woman who broke the family. They do not think about the fact that it is they, men, who shift the lever of influence on the situation with adultery. How? Everything is very simple and easy to explain.

What is the fault of a man that his wife fell in love and left for another? There can be a lot of possible oversights and omissions on his part:

• Disrespectful behavior towards your wife. It is unlikely that any woman will like it when her husband treats her like a wall, and does not consider her either as a wife, or as a woman, or as a person.
• Regular absence from home. If a man is used to staying late at work, after which he does not miss the opportunity to have a few glasses of beer at a local pub after a hard day's work, and then devotes the whole weekend to fishing with friends, then there is nothing surprising in the fact that a woman climbs a wall out of loneliness and in eventually runs off to the left.
• Neglect of the wishes of the spouse. If the wife asks to take time for her and go with her to her beloved mother-in-law to help around the garden or fix the shelf in the bathroom, which is about to fall off and fall on someone's head, or screw in a new light bulb in the spotlight in the yard, because the previous one has burned out already a month and a half ago, which means you need to listen to her at least once and do what she asks. Ignoring the requests of a woman by her husband tells her about his disrespectful attitude towards her, about negligence, about neglect, after which, through indignation and anger, she comes to search for a more “compliant” young man.
• The reasons for this should be understood that if he started an affair on the side, then in ninety-nine percent of cases his wife knows about it or at least guesses. And this, undoubtedly, is a weighty reason for her to allow herself "revenge" in the same spirit.

In a word, it is in vain that the powerful of this world do not consider themselves to be the culprits of the situation when their spouses commit an act of treason. But if, nevertheless, such a situation occurred and the wife fell in love with another, what should a man do?

What to do if the spouse fell in love with another: first steps

Change is a delicate moment. A family visited by infidelity will never be the same again. Having learned about the adultery of a loved one, a deceived spouse in a fit of anger can chop so much firewood that he will not deal with them until the end of his life. Indeed, criminogenic incidents with murders or grievous bodily harm in a state of passion due to the infidelity of the victim are very common today. Therefore, in order to avoid stalemate situations, a man who learns that his wife has fallen in love with another needs to be able to control himself and know how to act correctly.

First, you need to exhale. The moment of realization of the fact does not come immediately, but he beats her husband with a butt on the head and provokes him to a powerful outburst of indignation and aggression. In turn, this aggression is instantly transformed into a burst of indignation and a thirst for physical reprisal against the unfaithful wretch and her accomplice in adultery. Therefore, the first thing a man who has learned about an unpleasant fact should do is exhale and put everything on the brakes.

Secondly, it is necessary to retire to “think about” the current situation. Not a single constructive decision has yet been taken in haste. In order to realize what happened and decide what to do next, you need to be alone with yourself and your thoughts. If a wife falls in love with another, what should a husband do? The most important thing is not to flog a fever and think carefully about what happened, identify the root of the problem, find out for yourself the cause of what happened and objectively consider yourself in the context of a possible culprit of adultery.

Thirdly, having let off steam and calmed down a bit, build a constructive dialogue with your wife and ask her all the questions that concern a man. Only a well-constructed conversation and balanced decisions can lead to a consensus and get out of this situation in the most painless way for both spouses.

Building a constructive dialogue

If a wife falls in love with another, what should a husband do? How to build a conversation with her in such a way as not to break loose, not harm her and, without doing stupid things, find out from her the reasons for her worthless behavior? It is very important for a man to understand that female psychology is the finest mental organization with a club of ornate thoughts, feelings, experiences, but sometimes a very stubborn character and independent opinion. Attempts to influence the wife by methods of physical influence will not solve anything, they can only aggravate the current problem - this is very important to understand. And then, the desire to return the wife to the family should be savvy with a cold mind and confident actions, and not with a hot temper and arrogant disposition of a “deceived” spouse.

If the wife fell in love with another, the number one advice of a psychologist for every man: building a constructive dialogue with her. Over the long years of living together, he undoubtedly has accumulated a certain amount of knowledge about his woman, and thanks to him he can safely pull those strings that will lead him to success as quickly as possible. What kind of threads can be:

• ask the first straightforward question about whether it is serious or not - in most cases, a woman reproaches herself for betrayal on the very first day after it and is ready to give everything in the world to forget about this fleeting impulse and return to her family;
• if there was no immediate remorse, you need to find out about the woman’s immediate plans - in response, she will probably dryly and uncertainly describe the situation about leaving for the very specimen that became the root of contention in the family; here it is necessary to catch a moment of the wife’s weakness and hint to her about the precariousness of her position, since it is not known whether her adultery colleague will accept her for, so to speak, permanent residence;
• if, nevertheless, the spouse is confident in her new passion and in his desire to accept her as a new mistress, which is very unlikely, it is worth mentioning joint children - this is the most powerful weapon of manipulating a woman in this situation: hardly any mother is ready to calmly leave from a family where her hungry kids are waiting for her;
• slowly and systematically, step by step, argument by argument, the husband should describe to his wife her future life with a new gentleman in a very unfavorable light, and staying in a family from which she so insecurely wants to leave - in bright colors of a new harmonious life with new conditions, favorable for her.

Return or release - that is the question

If the wife has fallen in love with another and hesitates, you need to use all the levers of influence on her, pull all the strings through which you can influence her final decision and try to save the crumbling marriage. But is it worth it? Is it necessary to save a family that is on the verge of collapse? And what to do when a woman does not hesitate, but is firmly convinced of her decision to leave - to return or let go of the wrong one?

If the wife fell in love with another, the advice of a psychologist will come in handy. So, the specialist will outline to the unfortunate spouse two lines of development of events and two important aspects that should be taken into account when deciding whether to try to return everything or let everything go on the brakes.

First, you need to figure out if a woman needs it: in most cases, it is immediately clear from her whether she is ready to build a new family with an alpha male who has just appeared in her life. Often, women themselves are not sure of their desires and strongly hesitate in choosing a future path.

Secondly, you need to figure out if a man needs this: if he is ready to forgive his wife for her infidelity, if he wants to continue to contemplate this woman in the face of his wife and further in life, then you need to fight for her. But if a man feels a caustic residue of jealousy and a bitter aftertaste of the betrayal of his beloved woman, realizing that he will never be able to forgive her, it is better to let everything go on the brakes and let such a spouse go right away, without an unnecessary fight for her.

How to save a family

The wife fell in love with another ... If this happened, the husband who loves and is afraid of losing her should use all methods in the struggle for her favor.

First of all, after a constructive conversation with her, you need to show her with all your appearance how he wants to see her in the same place. Having presented several bouquets of flowers with the corresponding notes, inviting her to a restaurant to continue communication about family matters, giving all possible attention to his wife, the man will thereby choose the right path to return the confused lady to the family nest.

The second thing that should follow the first is to maintain a favorable microclimate in the family. Creating a cozy atmosphere with the constant pastime of the whole family together will give a woman a sense of need for this house, these children, this man. And root her desire to never leave the home of her happy family.

Drawing an analogy between male and female infidelity

Comparing male and female infidelity is wrong. If a husband confesses to his wife that he fell in love with another, in ninety-nine percent of cases the woman will not be able to do anything to keep him. The thing is that a man often cheats with his body, and this is considered a small one-time affair on the side. But if a representative of the stronger half falls in love, if feelings and hurt emotions are used, then neither tears, nor persuasion, nor scandals with his wife, nor even manipulation of children will surely stop him.

A woman behaves completely differently. If the wife fell in love with another, the advice to her husband would be this - you must act immediately, quickly, but thoughtfully and carefully. If, of course, he wants to restore the family. Just a woman, if she changes, then she does it differently than men - with her body. She cheats along with feelings, she goes to another man, driven by passion, attraction, sincere emotions, called at least deep sympathy. But at the same time, she does not behave like a man in love with another lady. She responds to the tears of her husband, to his persuasions, and is even more vulnerable when it comes to children and their well-being, which is possible only in a full-fledged family, together with mom and dad. Therefore, if a wife fell in love with another man, it is much easier for her husband to return her to the family than if the situation were exactly the opposite.

Three ways to return a wife to the family

To return to the family a wife who succumbed to emotions and lost her head because of another man, her husband should strain himself and use one of the methods that will help him put everything in its place:

• invite your spouse to dinner and, in a calm, cozy atmosphere, remind her of all the pleasant moments experienced together in marriage, of all the promises made to each other, of the vows given at the altar - both in grief and in joy - for sure the woman will be moved and softened;
• using children as a deterrent is not very humane, but very effective;
• organize a test mini-quest for the wife: put in a prominent place a box with memories and the first movie tickets, the first joint photos, persuade mutual friends to call the wife to talk about not leaving the family, influence the spouse through her parents.

What Not to Do

What should not be done by a man who suddenly found out that his wife fell in love with another? If the advice of a psychologist helps to understand what needs to be done in this situation, then, in addition to this, they will also tell the man about what cannot be done, namely:

• use assault;
• quarrel with his wife;
• to look for her lover for reprisal;
• threaten the spouse with all sorts of physical analyzes and revenge;
• turn children against their mother.

A man must understand that fists cannot help grief. And if the wife fell in love with another, but did not cheat, this is the most solid reason to bring her back and reconsider her attitude towards her. Perhaps the problem lies not in her, but in the spouse herself.

What if the wife fell in love with another and left

There are times when no methods work on a woman who decides to leave the family, and she leaves her nest that has been occupied for years for the sake of a new admirer. At this moment, her husband finally begins to understand that it would be worth treating her differently, and then he would certainly not allow a situation in which his wife would fall in love with another. Representatives of the stronger half should think more often about how often they kiss and hug their beloved women, remind them of their love, spend time with them and pamper them because women bear the difficult burden of keeping a family hearth and raising children. In order for a wife to fall in love with another, one must still try to bring her to that degree of loneliness in which she simply vitally needs a person who can brighten up her everyday leisure and help her forget the disgusting plates and pans. When men learn to appreciate their wives, then the wives will stop leaving them for others.