The news that the Petrovs are going to get divorced came as a shock to relatives.
Fifteen years of a strong marriage, a teenage daughter, a mortgage that has just been paid off, an established life, prosperity in the family, mutual friends who have become common parents over the years of living together - well, what a divorce! To live and be happy. And then this...
No, well, of course, there were minor quarrels and inconsistencies in the family, but who doesn’t have them? Lyudmila is an electric broom by nature, she always needs to go somewhere, go, get impressions; Grigory, on the contrary, is a goof and an introvert, he would have to sit on the sofa with a book or a computer - and not to be touched. He, unlike his wife, has always been important order and predictability. Because of the difference in temperaments, they sometimes quarreled, but after all, they lived together for a decade and a half, and everything suited both of them. What suddenly happened?

More recently, we went with friends to barbecue - there was no question of any divorce!
The perfect couple. Grigory still, I remember, joked about the second child - Lyudmila only waved it off. The daughter in infancy was, as they say, a difficult child, with a bunch of neurotic disorders, until the age of four she didn’t really sleep at night, she was constantly sick, she ate badly. Young dad Grisha, as far as Lyudmila remembers, was not very eager to help in his upbringing. Lyudmila alone fought with the child and rushed to speech therapists-doctors. The girl became more or less independent and sane only by the third grade, and now it is a pleasure to communicate with her: smart, reasonable, purposeful. Nevertheless, Lyudmila knows for sure that she will not be able to pull out a second such child.
However, Grigory did not seem to insist on this topic, no, no, they laughed with friends at a family party and that's all.
Divorce is clearly not because of this.

To be honest, Lyudmila herself did not fully understand what had happened. The husband suddenly became angry and irritable, and after a while said - it's better for us to live separately. To think, to understand oneself ... "To live separately" Lyudmila categorically refused. What kind of congresses, trips, kindergarten? If you don't like being with a family, leave! Where is the door, you know. And Gregory seemed relieved to agree with this option. He immediately threw his underwear into the suitcase and moved out forever. Not to my mother - she has a sick heart, why bother her. For a couple of days to a friend, and then rented an apartment.

Grishka has someone! - confidently said best friend Lyudmila. Well, no other explanation comes to mind. You will see. The secret will soon be revealed.
- Stop it! I would know! To have Gregory someone??? Can't be!
This really didn't fit in my head. Grigory is a solid man, an exemplary family man, one of those who "everyone in the house." Correct, with a developed sense of duty. And in time everything always converged - home from work, never stopping anywhere. And for the money - no extra spending lately. yea, stupidity

A couple of months later, the official divorce took place. Grigory left, as they say, "like a man", taking only clothes from the house, leaving his wife and daughter everything acquired, including an apartment.
And after a couple of months, mutual friends ... were invited to the wedding.
Gregory and his young colleague, who, according to rumors, was already a little pregnant, were legally married, so it was out of hand to postpone official registration ...

It turns out that the friends who told Lyudmila that men are absolutely inert creatures are right, and they don’t leave the family “for nowhere”?
And, if you were thinking about it, then - cherche la femme?
Do you agree?

If a family has a divorce, this does not mean the end of the relationship. Very often, husbands who leave their wives for mistresses return home with a confession after a while. Why is this happening, and how should the wives of naughty husbands behave?

Why Husbands Leave

Practice knows many cases when a husband leaves the family, but then returns, and the couple continues to live happily ever after. Women are much more tolerant than men and are able to forgive a lot. In the life of almost every woman there was a betrayal of a loved one and subsequent forgiveness. Men, on the other hand, are arranged in such a way that cheating for them is a common thing, a physiological process that means nothing. Most often, a husband cheats on his wife, because this one corresponds to the status of a male, because it is interesting. There are cases when treason occurs under the influence of alcohol. Unlike women who are painfully experiencing their own infidelity, men do not attach much importance to their adventures. If they are to blame, there will be no long experiences, and after the wife's forgiveness is received, betrayal is likely to be repeated. And this situation is the norm for many men. They can cheat 5 times and they will be forgiven the same number of times, since for their wives the main thing is spiritual fidelity.

But if the husband packed up and left, this does not mean just physiological sex or sports interest. A family man, accustomed to home comfort, ironed shirts and delicious meals, is unlikely to leave the family for the sake of a fleeting hobby. Rather, he will quietly meet with his mistress, but will not sacrifice his own comfort. Men leave for other women for the following reasons:

1. Love. Such cases happen when the first love meets. Old feelings flare up with renewed vigor, and this relationship ends with the fact that the husband wants to leave the family. Also, men fall in love with other women when a midlife crisis occurs. The desire to feel younger pushes older husbands into the arms of young girls.
2. Cheating wife. Men rarely forgive women's infidelity. This is a blow to their male pride, which not everyone can survive.
3. Problems of a psychological nature. A man wants to leave home, where there is an unfavorable emotional atmosphere, where there are constant omissions, quarrels, where he is not understood. Often, there are problems in a married couple due to differences in life views, issues of religion and raising children.
4. Financial and household problems. Lack of money can also cause problems. If the wife will reproach her husband for financial insolvency and nag him about this, sooner or later he will leave his wife.
5. Problems in intimate life. The sexual life of a man lasts quite a few years, up to old age. And even after a year of family life, husbands need full-fledged intimacy. Women, being engaged in everyday life, children, cease to pay due attention to spouses.
6. Wife's appearance. In family life, husbands see their wives unkempt and unkempt, dressed not at all feminine. And at work, on the contrary, every day they see beautiful female colleagues in fashionable outfits, fragrant with perfume. Comparing, men every day stop looking at their wives as women. Hence - problems in sexual life, irritability, dissatisfaction with each other.

Where do husbands go?

Families do not always break up because of other women. And not every man, gaining freedom, seeks to lose it again. If the husband left the family for the sake of his mistress, he will go to her. If the reasons for the gap are different, then the temporary shelter of a man can be:

• parental home;
• rental apartment;
• friend's house
• cottage or garage;
• office;
• car.

In extreme cases, the spouse quits his job and leaves for another city. If he does not find a permanent place of residence, you can be sure: having pushed around, he will definitely return.

When will the husband return home?

As already mentioned, if the husband left the family, this does not necessarily mean that forever. Some time will pass, and he may return. It all depends on some circumstances:

• the reason why the husband left the family;
• how will your relationship develop after the break;
• what will you do to get it back.

If the husband went to his mistress, then, as practice shows, he will leave her. When will the candy-bouquet period end. It lasts an average of 3-4 months. If we analyze why the husband left for another, then we can identify the following reasons:

• the mistress is more attractive than you, more well-groomed;
• she has a lot of free time, so she can devote it only to your husband;
• she is not burdened with worries;
• she does not charge her husband with domestic problems, does not nag him;
• he is tempted in sex.

In three or four months, the veil will fall from the eyes of the spouse, and he will see that his mistress is an ordinary woman, just like you, and hundreds of other women. She can also walk around uncombed, come home tired from work. She will ask her husband to hammer in a nail, take out the trash. He will understand that he has not acquired anything new and therefore will return to his former life, that is, to you.

Why Husbands Come Back

When the husband said that he was leaving forever, it seemed to you that this was the end of the family, the end of the relationship. But statistics show that unfaithful husbands return in most cases. And this happens due to the following factors:

1. Habit. Men themselves do not notice how they get used to certain things, trifles. And only life with another woman reveals these little things. He notices that his mistress does not cook like his wife, loves the wrong films and programs, listens to different music. And he comes back because he is unable to change his habits.
2. Change of world view. If the husband left for another or just from home, this probably happened in the heat of emotion. After time passes, the man realizes the value of the family, his mistakes and will return.
3. Reconciliation. After the husband has left home, communication with his wife and children still continues. And over time, all anger and resentment disappear.

How to cope with the departure of a husband

If the husband left and does not want to return, it will be unpleasant, painful and insulting for any woman. At the moment when he said that he was leaving, it seems that this is betrayal and treason. The first thought that arises in a wife is, of course, a mistress. But, as already mentioned, the husband does not always go to another woman.

The gap period for a woman lasts for several stages:

1. suffering Why did the husband leave? What is my fault? How to live on? During this period, in the heat of the moment, a lot of stupid acts are committed, which both spouses later regret.
2. Pride. Having cooled down a bit, the women think: so what if the husband left and does not call. So what, that's gone forever. I will live without him, and he will be gone.
3. Again suffering. And pity for myself, for my husband. The woman is ready to forgive everything in the world, if only he would return.

During these periods, a woman can do a lot of stupid things that you need to beware of. In no case should you shed tears, beg, arrange a showdown with your mistress, blackmail children. The main thing is to give time for the sobriety of the mind to return, and after that you can already think what to do.

How to return a husband to the family

If the reason for the breakdown of your relationship was not your mistress, then how soon he will return depends only on you. We need to wait a few weeks, let both cool down and think, and then proceed to action. If his departure was scandalous, you should definitely talk and apologize. Surely, he will also apologize, realizing his mistakes.

It is necessary to analyze well and understand what exactly is to blame. If the husband left the family, this indicates that something does not suit him. So, things were not going smoothly in the family. After a little time has passed, you need to meet and talk openly. If you cannot resolve the issue without scandals, communicate through letters or SMS messages. Find out what exactly your husband does not like about you, understand why exactly you behave the way you do. In no case should you mutually reproach him and blame him. Agree, promise to improve and just as honestly tell about your claims.

The next step is the fix. It is not enough to promise, you need to act. Start changing. The husband will return if he sees in you a beloved and desired woman.

• watch your appearance, you should always be well-groomed and attractive;
• be calm and restrained, do not allow yourself to become hysterical;
• be more relaxed in bed so that he does not even think about other women;
• be gentle, affectionate and calm.

Today it is not difficult to work on yourself. You can seek help from a psychologist, visit special trainings, watch motivational films, read relevant literature. It all depends on your desire to return your husband.

If you know that the husband went to his mistress, you need to show cunning. If she somehow attracted your spouse, then you need to become even better. Moreover, you have a great advantage: you are his wife, which means that you can call him at any time and ask for anything.

1. Act kindly and openly, use any occasion to invite him home. After all, he can visit the children.
2. When your husband comes home, cook his favorite dish, as if by chance put on his favorite movie. Coming to you, he should see a pleasant and familiar environment.
3. And don't forget about yourself. You must be attractive, friendly, cheerful and caring.
4. When you feel that he is already wholeheartedly with you, in the family, seduce him. No need to be shy, feel embarrassed, because this is your husband. It is his mistress who should be ashamed, because he left you because of her.

After a certain time, he will understand that this is his home, you are his wife, and his beloved children are nearby.

In some situations, the husband leaves home just to teach the spouse a lesson, to show her what she can lose. In any case, it is important to recognize mistakes in time, apologize to each other and forgive. After all, a moment may come when reconciliation will be impossible.

I don’t know why I’m writing, I’ve already talked with everyone a hundred times .. I probably want support.
Married for 7 years, I was sure that this was once and for all, my husband is almost perfect, he makes good money, he does everything for us, he loves children (two girls), he is always at home, he doesn’t go out, he doesn’t drink, he doesn’t beat. But I began to feel on my own that I got tired of the routine, I don’t work, I sit at home and work part-time and take care of children, I live with my family, him, his problems. I take care of myself, I see my friends whenever possible, we get out to have fun. My husband and I also made it a rule to go somewhere every weekend, but we also like to just hang out at home and watch a movie. But somehow everything is boring, I'm irritated, tired, everything infuriates me. I went to a psychologist and started working on myself. Then summer came, we went to rest, he was with us for two weeks, then he left, I was alone with the children for a week, then his mother came and then we rested with her. One evening I quarreled with him very much, I missed him very much, I was waiting for a call, he did not call. celebrated his birthday with the men from work, I was offended, made a scandal, uttered hurtful words with passion. And that's where it all started. He closed up, stopped calling, chatting, said let me get bored, I want to understand myself, I understand something is going wrong trying to find a way out .. then he came when we couldn’t especially improve relations, and upon arrival home there was a conversation, he said that we need to live separately, that he can no longer live like this, that scandals, jealousy, control got him, that we are different people. perhaps he hopes that time will put everything in its place and he will understand that he will miss him, but for now he wants to be alone, he didn’t even live with his mother, he rented an apartment. I would understand if I went to another, but there is no mistress. He wants to be alone, to do everything himself, to cook, wash, iron ... he sees the children on weekends and during the week, if I need help, he calls his eldest daughter before going to bed .. he wants to communicate with me as usual, as if nothing had happened, he can come smack talk normally, have dinner. But every time everything slips into my persuasion to return, we sort things out, tears, begging .. I probably just cried for a month, I'm sitting on sedatives. He tries to control me, he wants to know all the little things related to children, before somehow he didn’t really go into it, I was constantly offended that I was listening to his problems, and he wasn’t particularly interested in ours .. and here there is such an interest in children, he constantly offers help to sit , well, as my psychologist says, he communicates on his own terms as it is comfortable for him, but at the same time I can’t eat, I cry, I constantly wait for something, I hope. At some point, I realized that there was no more strength, I can’t communicate like this, it hurts me. Decide to set limits. She asked me not to call on trifles, to write if possible, she said I couldn’t see either, so take the children for the weekend, talk then bring them, like this, on a call and if you wish, you don’t need to come anymore. It became easier. After that, he immediately agreed to go to a psychologist, he says suddenly it will help ...
I am writing calmly now, because already cried everything. .I don’t know what to do next .. wait, hope or learn to live on alone ...

Everything written below does not claim to be true.

It is motivated by the previous article about the collapse of the family.

The news that someone from relatives and friends is getting divorced is always a shock.
Have you seen at least one couple in which, when parting, the man went to "nowhere"? I personally don't. I haven't seen a single pair like this. There were two options:
1. A woman went nowhere;
2. The man went to another.

There is a fact that I have seen many times in my life - a man very rarely initiates a divorce with the wording "I'm going nowhere." He may not be satisfied with the state of affairs in the family, he will be at home less often, stay at work more often, spend time with friends, go into alcohol. But it won't go anywhere. He will be sorry for the established life, comfort, past relationships. A man as the initiator of a divorce exists in nature in the case when he leaves "somewhere". At the same time, it is not at all a fact that he is going to marry the woman to whom he left his wife.

Why is this happening?

According to medicus.ru
65% of divorced men remarry within the next five years, while they are convinced that the first wife was better;
29% of divorced men try to get married, even turning to marriage agencies;
20% Create a new family or permanent couple only after twenty years;
15% Marry within 5 to 10 years of divorce.

And here is from another article that talks about the "myths" of divorce like a man (not taken out of context):
“A man rarely strives for complete freedom after several years of marriage. They almost never go “to nowhere”, but much more often to a new partner. Another thing is that this does not always work out: either that woman was not ready for such a man’s” victim", either her relationship with the now free man acquired a not too romantic coloring, or the man himself realized that this woman was only a means to decide to leave his wife. But still, when a man decides to divorce, he rarely does it under the influence of emotions. More often this decision is thought out and the rear is prepared." - Yulia Vasilkina writes to us.

Dear men, please answer the question of this entry - are you going anywhere from a woman?

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Все написанное ниже не претендует на истину. Оно мотивировано предыдущей статьей о развале семьи. Новость о том, что кто-то из родных и друзей разводится всегда является шоком. Вы видели хоть одну пару, в которой при расставании мужчина уходил в "никуда"? лично я - нет. Не видела ни одно... !}