A woman’s desire to connect her life with a man is deeply internal and intimate.
You saw in this unity an opportunity to realize yourself, help your loved one become successful, and raise children.
But a man left you, how to survive such a turn? It is clear that immediately after parting, you want your soul to stop hurting, you want to forget about him and feel loved, dear and desired again.
And in the future, you will certainly create a friendly family with a worthy person. But everything is in order.
Forget!
If you understand the reasons for your separation and are sure that you do not want to return to a relationship with this person, try to forget him as soon as possible.
For this Eliminate from your life everything that reminds you of the man who left you:
- Correspondence on the Internet.
- Messages.
- Present.
- Avoid meeting him.
- Do not find out information about him through mutual friends and colleagues.
If you decide that your ex-lover is already in the past, do not drag thoughts about him into your present and future. This will allow your feelings to calm down and feel freedom faster.
Fill the emotional emptiness
Relatives and reliable friends can help you. Turn to those who will not judge you, who will not mock you for your failure.
You need:
- Those with whom you can cry and with whom you can feel good even without talking.
- Those who can support with reasonable advice and help to look at the situation objectively.
- Those who will keep you from rash calls and steps and suggest constructive solutions.
Have you noticed an increase in feelings of guilt and are starting to blame yourself? It is natural if the man you love leaves you.
If you look at yourself and your past relationships, your friends can help you, then only you can forgive yourself for what happened.
Forgive yourself
Even if you realize that the collapse of the relationship is partly your fault, by all means! Understand and formulate the reason for the failure, and build the next relationship, taking into account the experience gained.
Gaining experience is painful, but you can get even more emotional turmoil without correcting your life taking into account the bitter experience.
The fact that this particular man left you does not mean at all that there is something wrong with you. Perhaps if you know exactly the reason for his departure, you will not repeat the same mistakes again.
Give meaning to other areas of your life
There are many stories about women who were abandoned by a man, and only after that they began to live the way they wanted! Now is the time to realize your dreams!
The energy that you spent on building relationships and your man is now better spent on improving yourself. If you have long dreamed of learning a foreign language or the history of the ancient world, please find like-minded people, sign up for courses or start studying on your own.
If you are a good needlewoman, learn new techniques for working with modern materials. The admiration of your friends will raise your self-esteem, and if they have a desire, teach them. Passing on your skills is a very pleasant and rewarding experience.
When, with friendly help and your efforts, the internal balance is restored, feel free to allow yourself both light flirting and the search for a contender for your hand and heart.
Go out to people in a good mood, have a beautiful hairstyle, and wear elegant clothes. If you can create a good mood, there will be enough people around you to make a good choice.
Perhaps your question is more complex, for example, if your husband left you, what should you do and what should you do if you have common children or a joint business?
It is clear that it will never be possible to completely exclude this person from your life, but you need to define the boundaries of your relationship as quickly and clearly as possible. In the present, everything should be shared with him as much as possible, except, alas, for the inevitable moments.
Quite often, after a forced separation, women are concerned about the question: “How to take revenge on the man who abandoned you?” The answers to this question range from tragic to funny.
Is it worth taking revenge?
Sometimes resentment takes over a woman so much that she finds suicide as the only way to express her offended feelings. Suicide based on unrequited love has not disappeared from crime chronicles for centuries.
This step is taken by women who have put themselves in the background in a relationship and have focused themselves entirely on the object of adoration.
For the man who abandoned you, you in a certain sense already “died”; is it worth proving or demonstrating something to him at the cost of your own life?
But if a man has left you, and you don’t know how to get over it without “punishing” the offender, the arsenal of means is wide:
- Damage to property: a new mobile phone against the wall, a puncture in the tires, sugar in the gas tank or crumbs on the hood of the car. Cut buttons from clothes, cut elegant holes on your favorite jacket, preferably from the back, so that you don’t notice right away
- Destruction reputation: advertisements on the Internet about his financial insolvency, his ability to gain the trust of single women and live at their expense
- Demonstrative novel with his colleague or friend
But think about it, in the full sense of the word, have you parted with the person on whom you are ready to spend your thoughts, time, and ingenuity? And do you really need it?
It's better to direct all your attention to yourself - whatever you want, it's time to do just that! Such a drastic and sad event as breaking up with a man can be the beginning of a new happy period of life!
If your husband left you. How to survive...
My husband left me: this is not the end, this is the beginning... Unfortunately, our lives are sometimes very unpredictable. It would seem that you are going with the flow, everything is smooth and calm, but in an instant everything turns upside down, the dearest and closest people hit us painfully, pain obscures the eyes and mind, and it seems there is no strength to breathe and live. Lush white dress, flowers and cloudless happiness... At least that’s what it seemed like when you married this man. And it could not have occurred to you that this person, dear and loved, could hurt you by betraying what is most precious to you - your love. But, alas, this happens often in our lives. The pain of a deceived and abandoned woman can only be understood by those who have been in such a situation themselves. And they were able to find a way out, to survive this mental trauma. Undoubtedly, it is very difficult to overcome this bitterness, but it is possible. First, you need to cry, free your soul from pain, it’s good if a close friend or sister is nearby, and speak out completely. After this, although not much, it will become easier. Then the realization will slowly come that you are beginning a new life. You should always try to be in company, find an exciting activity for yourself, for example, you couldn’t afford to attend dance classes or anything like that before - please! Now you have a lot of free time, which you previously spent on your husband, it’s time to pamper yourself with your beloved! If you have children, then organize joint leisure time. This will help you and your children take your mind off difficult thoughts, and the children will tolerate their father’s betrayal more gently. You need to give all your attention to them, because the meaning of life - your children - remains with you. They just need your love, care and support. If you don’t want to live, then remember that you simply must pull yourself together for the sake of your little ones. If it gets really bad, then it’s better to contact a qualified psychologist. In the event that you haven’t had time to have children with this person, then all your attention should go to yourself and to those who need your help. After all, everything that happens is for the better! Get a kitten or a dog and focus your attention on taking care of these cute creatures. In addition, cats are great stress relievers. Go shopping or even relax by taking time off from work. And if you absolutely love your job, then immerse yourself in your work, discover new things, improve yourself! Perhaps at first there will be melancholy, but over time everything will change. Life does not stand still. Look at yourself from the outside, stand in front of the mirror. Raise your self-esteem. And even better - change your image, wardrobe, throw away everything old and unnecessary, if you don’t raise your hand to empty your home of his gifts, joint photographs, ask a loved one to hide it all somewhere far away. Become useful to people, do good deeds. Let self-respect come with the recognition of others. In return, people will give you support and understanding. The main thing is not to be alone with your painful thoughts. Remember, in order to be saved, you need to make efforts to be saved. Think about whether it is worth continuing to suffer because of a person who betrayed you so painfully, because now he is unlikely to suffer and suffer. Try to believe that fate weeds out unnecessary people. You have gained experience, but you cannot lose trust in people. Live for yourself, for your children! Love is love, but you cannot dissolve in a person, you need to be firmly aware of what is happening to you and what it can lead to. Over time, you will look at this whole situation with a more sober look. Sometimes it seems to us that this is the end, but often it is only the beginning, the beginning of a new happy life without people who did not love us, deceived us, betrayed us.
My dear, gentle and wonderful women!
This topic appears so often in my work that perhaps it’s time to write instructions.
So, if your husband left you, then the rose-colored glasses of illusion have finally broken
to pieces, oh harsh slabs of reality... Congratulations! with the acquisition
CLEAR_VISION, finally...
First, and most importantly, this fact must be ACCEPTED. Because it has already happened. And you have NO choice NOT TO ACCEPT.
From the recognition of the fact, it becomes easier - hopelessness, in general, you know, is a very fair thing.
You can fill yourself with tears, for days, for months. But the tears will end
and still you will need to wash your snot and face the truth - husband
abandoned me.
Stupid phrase, isn't it?
They throw things. If you are a thing - were or became such - ok, you can
to throw means that you have allowed yourself to be a thing that can be thrown. AND
there is no need to tell here what kind of heroine you were three times at home
farms named after all pots! Nobody needs this. And to him. He generally
GONE.
So, with sincere confession we figured it out - kilograms of valerian
Vduli, the same amount of Corvalol and cognac with friends. Couple of weeks.
What's next?
Tears. Calls. Tears. Tears. Mats. Calls. Humiliation. Begging. Cursed. Threats. Tears. Mats..... ...
Or rather, what is all this for? what's on top? for whom? for the one who
abandoned? what for? Is there any point in tears and swearing? calls and threats?
The first thing I always, 100% say in consultation with EVERY WOMAN,
who “my husband abandoned me” - THAT’S HOW LUCKY YOU HAVE TO BE! MY HUSBAND LEFT US!
Now you can do anything!!! And most importantly, understand for yourself that I am
turned out, ha ha, not such a dirty brute like him! (or variations
on the topic...) and now I will begin to live my life (or improve it) as I do
I want it!
You see, suffering over the topic “my husband left me” is a reflex of a lost dog.
Suddenly left without an owner.
Well, cry, curse, call, humiliate yourself. If you are an animal. Then, of course, you don’t need to read the article further.
And if you get it, read it, here it is:
If your husband left you, it means he left and left suddenly (wow! head
dizzy from new possibilities!!!) Your life, this means that your
“tomorrow” will be completely different.
Of course, at first there will be “Withdrawal”, at the sight of “His-ever-favorite-socks” and
tears drip-drop, started running again.....the same way, tears at the sight of "
His-all-favorite-Beer...football and blah blah, so on... Then it will be
hysterical when they call to invite you and Golopupkin to visit.
You'll have to howl into the phone... yes, that's an expense, well, you've been there for a long time
the property of Golopupkin, of course... among his circle of acquaintances it remained
habit of inviting you both... But how do they know that your life
changed? and there is no point in screaming and crying - just say so - golopupkin
Now he walks on his own, and I walk on my own.
This is a digression, lyrical, so to speak.
The whole point is that among the stupid habits of a woman, out of boredom and mental
poverty, of course, has the habit of closing your entire world on a man.
And the whole difficulty is that the man also gets tired of this vacuum.
Well, they don’t need us to dissolve in them like soup cubes, down to the last grain of sand.
Yes, we need a container, like any water (a woman is ideally WATER,
BEARING LIFE, preserving it and reviving it, and if you wish
Being a swamp for a while is not a question, the choice is yours).
But we don’t ask the Architects of our world if they need it!? Actually...
Total. Never, under any circumstances, lock yourself into
chains called: “the whole world is MY man” - in this sentence
all errors.
Firstly, a man, in the amount of one piece, is not the whole world.
Secondly, you asked him, does he want to be your world? I'm from
I know the answer from practice - 120% of 100% “NO” they said, we don’t need it, they say, neither
whose world to be, you know, this is a responsibility, and you know, we are brave
guys, we killed a lot of mammoths, but as for the responsibility in
areas of feelings - nature, here is ours, a little cowardly and most importantly
justified, again, by polygamy....
Thirdly, a man, like a child, is NOT PROPERTY, or
property that has its own opinion and decides independently who
belong ONLY BY YOUR WILL.
And if the will of your property, in the form of a Man, has left your life -
THIS IS ALSO HIS FREE WILL, well, or a love spell, but this is a fundamental matter
doesn't change.
After all, if they gave him a love spell, it means, unfortunately, that he is NOT
Your property, he decided long ago and without you, and even if you remove the love spell
, take all the antidepressants in the world and then miraculously avoid cancer (that’s what they teach
modern specially trained psychologists say it is necessary to forgive betrayal and
this, they really don’t know - women like that get sick of cancer
Then...)
You can forgive betrayal if you manage to do it TRUELY, finding the strength within yourself, to BOTH overcome this crisis.
But to defeat anything, you need to know the enemy by sight. JUST RECOGNIZING YOUR DEFEAT IS A WAY TO HEALING, by the way.
This is only if TWO people want to live together further, then, of course, we look for a clean slate in our minds and move forward.
But this is if there is love, and any other arguments do not work here. It's strange
I am convinced by couples - we have children, they say, it’s a habit and it’s just scary to change
way of life - every person strives for stability in his
life, that's a fact.
But is there stability in chronic betrayals, lies and playing family?
I wouldn't say so. LOVE gives stability to any relationship - it either
either there is or it is not. What is this? hmm...how can I tell you...everyone has it and
Each person has their own, or two people have it the same, and he will tell you which one
only everyone.
So this means that we have drawn a line to the conclusion of the Light Logos - a man is not
the whole world, do not limit the concept of happiness in your life to it,
making synonymous with the concept: “happiness is a man.”
A man can increase happiness with (or supplement) happiness from the concept
TO BE, but not to be that same happiness. After all, so, deep, right there, where
the truth lives in your soul, you know that you will have to experience it and
live on yourself or another, right?
So again, you have no choice. Existence and the blade of a knife, this
in general, the strongest charge of energy in life - when bam, you fly with such
abyss, and you realize that here they are, wings are growing!
Cry, my dears, cry as much as you like, squeeze everything out of yourself.
offended because the year before last, I was a fool, I refused that guy
at the resort! and didn’t go with him!,.. eh! Now it wouldn’t be a shame... Or
cry because you, at this time, are the most insignificant of all the most
insignificant beings in the entire Cosmos and therefore he you
threw it... this, of course, kills the spirit greatly, but poison in small doses is medicine.
As soon as you finish crying and the last tear drops - here, I hasten to bring
bright truth into your life: He left you not because you gained weight
/ has become dull / has become coarse / has become stupefied and so on.. And what, he, in general,
Did you find slate in that shop? ..and so on, the variations are endless...
HE LEFT YOU BECAUSE HE FOUND ANOTHER SOMEONE
Not worse, not better, just DIFFERENT
This is in the nature of men - my friend, astrologer, Victor Basilei told me this truth
beautifully said: “Every woman is looking for a BETTER man, and every man
looking for ANOTHER woman" - he may not be the author of the words, but what words!
By the way, they contain the truth.
So don’t worry, since you are left alone at last, throwing off the yoke of many years of yoke - ENJOY!!!
By the way, every man strives to enslave a woman - this happens
unconsciously, it's a reflex, an instinct, whatever you want, but they all try
look after us, think for us, advise and decide...to guide our
life. Because we ourselves are nothing. We don’t know how, no matter how many years we live
on this planet or others, no way... You just have to accept it and
smile that signature smile that blows away all men in a radius
Chernobyl zone, with the same symptoms - jaw drops, hair
on end and stuff like that)
So here it is. Now let's play a game: take a piece of paper. A4 will do, maybe not fresh, what's up...
Write two columns.
First, write “I choose to suffer” (you can use a black felt-tip pen to make the situation even more gothic)
In the second - “I choose to live” (there are butterflies, flowers and everything pink in
a woman's life, except for rose-colored glasses - drawing them is prohibited!)
First, write what your days will be like if you choose tragedy...
Do you know what will happen there?
Tears - write 500 liters at once to impress. Think about what will happen to
skin and body (what if you still have to fall in love again??? who
will you need such a turtle?), what size will your swollen tires be?
eyes and nose? what kind of nasty nasality will the voice take on? A? Do you need it?
if necessary, no question, choose sufferers, in case you are a pervert, who will you
knows... So then it turns out that the man ran away to another pervert - it
Do you need the next one to escape?
Write the word MADNESS - that’s where you risk ending up when you run out
tears, valerian and cognac. Do you need it? what about children? and parents? Are you talking about them?
thought, or the vector of attention is only directed inward and you are fixated on
only their suffering? and the whole world will wait? Nothing like that. At the world
your schedule and plans. But if you are a pervert, then of course, if it’s a vacation
There is nowhere else to spend it - choose a madhouse. It has its advantages - you can
draw pictures as much as you like and not explain to anyone why you are fishing
non-existent butterflies - everyone understands there and increases the dose of drugs,
gradually turning your brain into jelly... after all, the man left, why do you need
from now on your brain???
Well, of the delights, also as options: alcoholism, poverty, loss
work, depression - and there again there are options - madhouse, hospital, cemetery....
If you get tired of painting such colorful pictures in your mind, and
the leaf will end, in the column suffer, remember that there is a column LIFE
Choose life? bewilderment? I have to convince you that you still need
Your life? Find enough arguments to explain what is in it
beautiful WITHOUT A MAN? who-left-me?
Yes, everything about it is wonderful, if only because it will be a new life, and
Every new relationship enriches us with life experience, which means that
in our chest of life values, there will be new crystals of wisdom. AND
in general, in a new life, there are OTHER MEN who will give a new
experience, NEW LOVE, NEW WOMAN IN YOU!
And, if it’s not enough, this, my opus, come, I’ll show you
in detail, where did you go astray from the true path, in terms of where on
on the roads of life you have lost yourself.
So, congratulations, reading these lines, Holy Woman! From now on YOU are Free, and this is SUCH HAPPINESS!
After all, happiness is not so difficult to find in this - happiness is in the awareness of your happiness.
So, my dear brooches, we wash our angelic face, paint it,
We dress in an incredible-never-before-allowable-dress and
we set up dates in batches, no matter with whom, for half an hour, at home (I
I did - it helped me regain my self-esteem! appointed at home with
every hour and just admired myself through the eyes of men, I
I remembered what it’s like to flirt, for example... and listen to compliments)
There are a couple of rules that need to be followed:
- Don’t curse him after all, he left - the offense will also go away. Curse him
-You're causing damage to yourself. And to him. Do you need it? Thank him (you can
children), light a candle for health, and inside for peace, for
He “died” you, remaining in the past, take with you only the light
memory of him.
- Do not seek a meeting, do not humiliate yourself, do not beg
Breaking up is never easy, regardless of who initiated it - a woman or a man. Often during the period of separation, people experience pain, depression, feelings of guilt and self-pity. And we must somehow survive this period, because in some cases nothing can be returned (and sometimes there is no point), and we must continue to live, moving towards new events, meetings, relationships. And learn to be happy again.
In difficult moments, you don’t have the strength to think about it, but in general, the end of previous relationships frees up space for the emergence of new ones! And ending a relationship, no matter how painful it may be, is sometimes the best resolution to the situation.
What can you do to make it easier to cope with parting with your loved one? How can you learn to love yourself after suffering pain?
So, if you were “abandoned”.
Perhaps this is one of the most difficult forms of separation - difficult, naturally, for the “remainer”, and not for the one who left (although it is often difficult for the one who left too). Psychology knows the algorithm for experiencing loss, according to which this experience usually occurs.
It consists of several stages:
1. Shock, denial.
Having received the news that a man has “left the relationship,” women experience shock and do not want to believe it. (This is how the protective forces of the psyche manifest themselves, which tries to protect us from very severe pain at such moments). Admitting to yourself that “a man left me” is very difficult and painful. But it is still important to gradually recognize the situation and accept it, despite the pain, in order to move through it to the future and to a new life.
It is clear that thoughts will arise about “how to get a man back”, “how to keep love”. It will be very bad! Crazy. With all sorts of thoughts and desires.
If you can’t cope alone, you need to seek psychological help - go to a psychologist’s consultation.
2.Anger.
This period comes after a time of shock, and the very feeling of anger helps to stop blaming yourself for the loss and returns energy - i.e. has a sobering and renewing effect. It is very important to understand during this period that what is happening to us is unfair to us. Not: “I’m bad,” you need to tell yourself, but you need to support yourself and cheer yourself up with something, like: “Let’s break through, girl!” Because life is unfair and there are events in it that are difficult to rationally explain. And you certainly shouldn’t explain them away by your “not good enough behavior” or your unworthiness.
The man doesn't want you? Did he say he doesn't love you? It turned out that there was betrayal (or even more than one)? This happens. And all of the above sounds like a series of slaps in the face! But, dear girls, we must take the blow! And even fight back! If you don't know how, learn! Can’t do it on your own (lack of experience, fortitude, courage)? Go to psychological trainings, to psychological centers - learn! Anger is very important here - it gives you the strength to fight back and live! Because it never happens that only one person is to blame for separation and breakdown of relationships - no! There are always two people to blame. True, often in different ways. For example, one drank and partyed, while the other tolerated it and did not defend itself (and thereby allowed itself to be bullied).
Remember - even if the breakup is your fault, that is, it’s not your fault! But you wanted happiness in this relationship, didn’t you?
3.Depression.
After anger there usually comes a period of emptiness and depression. In fact, this is a time for awareness and deep reflection.
During this period, in order to get through it quickly enough and to your benefit, it is important to see the broken relationship in a new way:
Their rational component is the scheme. These relationship schemes (models) are standard and subject to analysis. It is very important to be able to do this. The psychology of relationships helps to understand this;
Understand why and how you should have taken better care of yourself while still in this relationship;
Understand the boundaries that it would be nice to set in time for the man with whom you are entering into a relationship;
Hear your pain, which forced you to behave in a way that was not best for you in this relationship, and even understand its origins,
It’s only after all this that acceptance comes - it even often comes with a feeling of gratitude to fate for the trials and strengthening of character. And also for the sanity and wisdom that we manage to acquire by this moment.
5. There is also a stage called "bargaining". This stage is characterized by thinking something like this: “Why did this happen to me? Perhaps if I do this and that, I will be able to return the situation to its previous course? How to get the relationship back?
All these stages of experiencing loss are conditional - feelings can return to the previous stage and again “go forward” several times. It is only important to remember that you do not need to “jump” straight to acceptance - this does not bring healing, but is only a process of suppressing pain and hiding it in the subconscious.
If you have been “abandoned” and you feel bad, cry, go to your friends who will not stop you but will listen to you, go to psychologists, think, read books. Learn to love yourself, do something nice for yourself - live! And the pain will go away! Necessarily! And in return, wisdom and experience will appear that will help you be happy in the future!
If you “abandoned”.
I congratulate you - you are a strong person! Unless, of course, for you this is a way to “run away” from any difficulties in a relationship and not a consequence of self-doubt, in which it is difficult for a person to defend his position, talk about his needs, etc., but it is easier to “escape”. No matter how strong your feelings for a person are, if the relationship does not work out, it is better not to waste time on them and “leave”.
How do you know whether a relationship is working out or not?
The fact is that, as has been said more than once on this site, love is both feelings and relationships. Feelings can be very strong, but relationships don’t work out. For example, there are feelings, but the person for whom there are these feelings is an alcoholic. Or schizophrenic. Or a 15 year old boy. Or a woman (provided that you are also a woman). Or this person is a man, but married, and categorically does not intend to get a divorce. What kind of relationships can be built then? Some are possible, but will this relationship suit you?
Think about it. And if they don’t suit you, “go away.”
There are, however, people who believe that with THEIR LOVE they can change their chosen one and come with him to great happiness. An example of such thinking and behavior are the wives of alcoholics who believe all their lives that one day their husband will come to his senses and stop drinking. Their life is terrible.
If the love just left.
But, unfortunately, this is what happens. There is respect, mutual understanding, but love is gone. Here, as a rule, no one is to blame, and there is no need to look for those to blame. By the way, “the passing of love” is also a loss - it must be experienced! And then - break up, maintaining, if possible, good relations with the person. And go towards new ones.
“I can’t help the fact that I stopped loving her.”
If man leaves woman, then this is a big blow for her. She perceives this as the end of the world, waits for at least some explanation for this, tries to understand why this could happen.
But even people close to each other cannot always explain themselves. A man most often hurts a woman, feels awkward, is ashamed of it and wants to leave quickly without any explanation. And the woman continues to hope that their relationship will be restored and will continue. For a woman, this is a shock, the world around her seems to stop, a sea of tears begins to storm, a treacherous pain inside burns her, her hands give up, self-esteem falls, and her legs do not want to go further, because there is nowhere to go.
The reasons why a man may decide to break up with a woman may be as follows:
- he doesn’t love her and never loved her, he just wanted to have fun and have a good time.
- feelings were killed by everyday problems.
- I couldn’t stand the jealousy, I was tired of the constant scandals. The woman no longer gave him warm feelings; instead, she began to simply irritate him.
- if a woman is to blame herself because she cheated on a man, rarely can anyone understand and forgive such a betrayal.
- the woman was with the man only for his money, he understood this, and accordingly left.
- he found another one, better than the one he has, he saw the future with this new product and wants to build his life in a new way.
- the woman tired him, and in general the family is too tiring, but for him the main thing is his career.
- if a woman wore a mask, pretended to be someone else, at first she loved him in every way, did not create scandals, communicated with his friends and relatives, but at some point she gets tired of it and the mask flies off her face, under which her true face is shown. The man realizes that there is the wrong person next to him and leaves.
- doesn’t want responsibility, doesn’t want children from her, doesn’t see any future.
Telling a person: “I don’t love you” is much more difficult than simply starting to ignore him and gradually moving away from him. This applies to both men and women. But it so happens that men are supposed to be gentlemen and they should not offend women. If a woman says to a man “I don’t love you,” then she is usually perceived as a proud and confident heartbreaker, but if a man says such words, then in the woman’s eyes he will certainly look like a goat, and he certainly doesn’t want that. Therefore, a real man will make sure that the woman leaves him, which is a logical solution for someone who ignores you. But if a woman does not understand this, then tears begin.
Should you try to stop a man who is leaving you?
No matter how a man tries to explain himself, if he did not have love for a lady, then all his words are empty arguments. In this case, you should not try to hold him or call him, you will still not be satisfied with his explanation.
Don’t call him, don’t write, don’t arrange meetings and scandals. Although maybe he just decided to check how much you love him, then, literally in a week, he himself will want to meet you, curiosity will take over.
And if he doesn’t contact you, it means he has finally and irrevocably decided to leave you. But even if he calls, then you will think about it, do you need him like that? Think about the seriousness of his decision and his feelings for you in general; would a person who loves hurt his beloved? The conclusion suggests itself, but it’s up to you to decide.
Poll: How do women cope with breakups?
Svetlana, 24 years old, manager: “My beloved man fell out of love with me in one day. Everything happened so suddenly that for a long time I could not understand what had happened, I could not believe what he was saying. One fine morning he woke up and said that he didn’t love me, that he didn’t feel anything for me at all, he said that he was bad and I was good and that I needed to look for another suitable man and build a family with him. I couldn't understand why this could happen. I still don’t believe that feelings can go away so quickly, without any reason. I loved him very much and love him, I want to be only with him, I also see my future only with him. I have no idea what to do now, how to continue to live, how to behave. I cry constantly, this is the first time this has happened to me, I have never loved anyone like him.”
Ekaterina, 31 years old, doctor: “My man left me. It seemed to him that he was in the wrong place and was in the wrong place and with the wrong person, that his feelings had dissolved. But he doesn’t leave me, he wants to communicate with me and be friends. I feel how he sometimes reaches out to me, although maybe it seems to me, I don’t even understand what’s happening anymore, and I can’t switch from the relationships that were to the ones that are now, I’m confused. We lived with him in a civil marriage and then suddenly there was such a breakdown in relations. Something incomprehensible is going on in my soul, and I don’t know how to get out of this chaos, it’s difficult for me.”
Victoria, 20 years old, stylist: “Today a month has passed since my man left me. He just left me, didn't really explain anything, just said that I was his mistake. He packed his things and went to his parents. I called him, his parents all week, wrote SMS, came to their home, but there was no answer. I cried endlessly, my heart was simply torn from pain, even sedative pills could not save me from hysteria. Now I don’t live in real life, I just see dreams, because that’s the only place we are together. The world around me collapsed. But inside there is still hope that one fine day he will return, I’m ready to forgive him, I want to be with him, I can’t live without him.”
What goes through a man's head before leaving a woman?
Anatoly, 35 years old, legal consultant: “I have been living with my woman for 7 years, we are both over 30, we had a beautiful and romantic relationship. But suddenly a thought arose in my head: “She’s not the same!” I let this thought develop and now it is very difficult. I remember the phrase: “We are responsible for those we have tamed.” She doesn’t know about it yet, but she probably guesses and feels it. I feel responsible for those years that I was with her and for those empty hopes, but I don’t see a future with her, I can’t imagine her walking with me through life, I realized that I was deceiving both myself and her. Now I'm scared, I'm afraid to tell her about this, because I know that it will hurt her, and I don't want to be the cause of suffering. I can cold-bloodedly tell her directly, but the thought of the wound that will arise for her after this does not give me peace. I don’t know what to do, but I know for sure that this cannot continue.”
Igor, 25 years old, programmer: “I leave girls, reducing relationships to nothing. Constant reasons to avoid meeting, all sorts of trips and errands, frequent words “I’m busy, maybe I’ll see you later, then someday.” After this, girls usually lose the habit of communicating, so at this moment I inform you that it is time to end this relationship. Everything is simple and hassle-free.”
Dmitry, 38 years old, technologist: “A real man is always able to make one woman happy, then another, and so on. If I left, then why more words? It means it’s necessary, it means the love has passed, and so he left. Why explain anything else, everything is already very clear here.”
What should a woman do next and how to move on after breaking up with a man?
- Just move on with your life. At first, you can just exist, do normal things and try not to think about anything. Stick to your diet, don't cry or get upset. Yes, it is difficult, but over time everything will pass, and the pain will subside, be patient.
- Calm down and talk to your close friends or just kind people who can feel your situation, or who have already experienced something similar.
- You don’t need to be delirious about pain, you don’t need to constantly think about it, by doing this you are killing yourself even more.
- Switch your attention to something else, watch an exciting movie or program.
- Go to bed on time. Avoid alcohol, cigarettes and sedatives.
- Find yourself a new hobby. It, of course, will not replace your former loved one, but it can still distract you.
- Get busy with your studies or work, communicate with people and don’t isolate yourself, go to the gym
- Go to a psychologist.
- Remember that time is the best medicine. Don’t think about what happened, it’s in the past, nothing can be changed and you just need to start rebuilding your life. There is a lot of work, so start right now, and leave the past in the past, because that’s where it belongs.
“Break up with men with dignity. If he asks you to let him go, then let him go. A man is the same tram, if he left, then you shouldn’t run and catch up with him, because a new one will come soon, maybe even better. Parting is always the beginning of a new life. Imagine that you were born again, your life is a blank sheet of paper, start drawing it the way you want.
You have new men ahead, new novels, new adventures and, of course, women's happiness. If a man decides to leave, then this is how it should be, and you shouldn’t persuade him to stay, take responsibility that everything will be fine, because it definitely won’t be, so don’t waste your energy and nerves. If he does return, then it will be his personally conscious decision, you should not put pressure on him and convince him, this will make it even worse. Move on, because you have one life.”
Is there a last chance?
Don’t rush to conclusions, don’t ask yourself questions “why and why” this happened. Give him the opportunity to sort out his feelings on his own. You will analyze it later, when you can think adequately, but now it’s better to wait. Perhaps your relationship has really run its course, and you should spend some time apart, and perhaps break up forever.
If he still hasn’t returned to you, then don’t regret it, just move on, convincing yourself that this is not the person who will be your support in life.
Believe in yourself and you will be happy.
Have you been abandoned?
