The state of depression is one of the most destructive. And, unfortunately, not so rare. It is especially common in women. It is they who ask in terrible hours of loneliness: “How to live on? How to live if no one needs you? Maybe it’s better then not to live at all?”
And a new love will help to forget him ...
Honestly, this question is rhetorical. A person may not be needed by absolutely anyone in extremely rare situations. There is definitely someone on earth who needs to communicate with you. But you yourself reject this communication or underestimate it. "How to live if no one needs you?" - usually asks the one who suddenly realizes that she doesn’t need just one, but significant person for her. And it hurts to realize this at any age: at fifteen and twenty-eight, at forty-five and sixty-three ... In this case, only following the saying can help. That is, it is necessary at this moment to shake things up and go to "capture new frontiers." Fresh love, new feelings, a lover who has appeared will surely dull the pain and instill in the soul the understanding that a woman is loved again, necessary, in demand. And the question will be forgotten: “How to live if no one needs you?”
Male view on the problem of loneliness and female
But has anyone thought about why the question is formulated in this form: “How to live if no one needs you?”, And not in this way: “How to live if no one needs you?” Why do they suffer more acutely than men? But this happens most often because it is the representatives of the weaker sex who project their entire inner world onto the chosen one. In men, besides love, there are usually other priorities, such as career, friends, hobbies. So, to prevent this from happening to you, you - a woman - must take care of yourself in advance. You should not "dissolve" in your beloved without a trace. You also need to provide yourself with a rear: lead an active lifestyle even after marriage, not be limited to family interests, not lose friends, have hobbies, strive for self-improvement, read, go to theaters, go to festivals and sports competitions. In no case should we allow the loss of the meaning of life! There is nothing in the world more precious than life - and you have been given it. So, you are already the chosen one, and not some ungrateful and unworthy mortal, but God himself.
The death of a loved one is the most difficult test
Another question is when a close and dear person dies. This loss is hard to accept, hard to comprehend. It is especially painful when children are lost... A mother who has dedicated herself to her children feels after their death that now there is no meaning to life. But even in this situation, the above tips help. It is easier to survive the loss of those who, in addition to children, had other interests in life: favorite work, hobbies, friends, creativity. But if life is already at sunset, and the woman has lost all the listed outlets, what should be done in this case? Then we will apply the “wedge by wedge” position. No, in this situation, no one advises looking for a lover, although this option is not excluded. But there is such a way of "survival" as helping those who are worse than you. Lost souls often find a way out in helping the disabled, abandoned animals, suffering from care, affection, love. Those whom you warm in difficult times will respond with such a vivid reciprocal feeling that loneliness will recede into the background. And now someone who really needs you will appear in fate. Love and be loved!
“The day ceases to seem bright when I am left with myself. Nobody needs me! For the sake of what is it worth living at all? ”, - many women face such an idea. When you feel like a burden, and others notice you less and less, you feel empty inside. There is no one to talk heart to heart with, everything seems insignificant and you just want to fall through the ground. How to stop suffering and learn to appreciate yourself? You are not alone and you will be able to start all over again! Read to the end and you will learn a number of valuable tips
Where does the feeling of "no one cares" come from?
When I had a good relationship with a young man and then they broke off, my colleagues ignore me, and also this friend who has not picked up my calls lately - why is the whole world avoiding me? A similar feeling accompanies many girls at various stages of life. Someone cannot establish relationships with others at the age of a student, and someone experiences communication difficulties at an honorable age.
« Who needs me and what am I doing wrong in trying not to feel lonely?”, is a great question that helps to tune in to a new wave of change. When a girl feels like a burden to others, she automatically cuts herself off from prospects. It is difficult to talk about happy relationships, friendship with interesting people, success in a team, if you constantly think about your insignificant position.
« I lost myself and now I can’t gather the strength to start everything from scratch”, is a great signal to start acting. The feeling of alienation arises from the conflict of the individual with his environment. When the daughter did not feel the love of her parents, the girl did not know the sincere love of her partner, did not feel much support from her friends - this is how inner pain arises.
If you keep asking yourself: Don't I deserve to be happy? What can I do the best I can to get out of this horror?”, then you can set yourself up for a new rhythm of life. When an inner voice, under the pressure of experienced ups and downs, joys and disappointments, says to immediately change everything, then you can’t hesitate! Combat readiness is exactly what makes a person angry with himself and circumstances on the good side. It is worth being motivated, and not gradually burying yourself in the sand with your head and making yourself a victim!
The story of one girl says: “Of all the friends of the school, the university, she had only one friend left. Recently, relations with her have declined - she could not answer calls, ignore when seen on the street and show false friendliness. Our heroine fell into a deep depression, because she just needed someone to speak out, to feel banal support.
The feeling of her own insignificance haunted her. There is no one to call on the phone, cry, and there is simply no strength to quit the bad habit of becoming limp for any reason. Our heroine said to herself: “I know that I deserved it, but now it’s time to “tie up” with everything and start a new life. Who needs me, if not myself? I've had enough!"
From a short story, you can see how much a person wanted to change circumstances for the better. The abandoned person syndrome occurs regardless of age, wealth, or status in society. Everyone sooner or later feels the emptiness that needs to be filled with self-development. The sooner we realize that time is the most valuable resource that should not be wasted on drama, then the picture of the world will become clearer.
How to deal with this feeling
The phrase “I don’t need anyone” from the lips of a woman does not mean claims to a guy, envious girlfriends, but her sincere feelings. If inside you realize that life is a single divorce, quarrels, conflicts, complexes, then it is important to analyze the situation more closely. What is the root of evil? Often in adulthood, a woman feels a lack of attention that she was not given as a child.
It turns out that the same child with a sense of inferiority is hiding in the guise of an adult. Under the influence of life's turmoil, pain is exacerbated again, as many years ago. To finally get out of the critical point, you need to ask the question: “Who needs me and why do I need this as a person?”.
When you are alone on a desert island and you see a ship, even if it is a pirate one, you will give signals anyway. But our life is not a bay where you need to let just anyone in. The desire to be loved, heard, understood should not be blind persistence to capture someone's attention.
If a lady wants to find a worthy husband, she should work on herself both externally and morally. She should not be flattered by the fake compliments of unscrupulous men for whom she is a one-night stand. The realities of life show how important it is to respect and appreciate yourself, but also to be open to others at the same time. Such a balance will not allow you to be deceived, but will also help to attract the attention of others.
How to stop thinking a woman that no one needs her
- Appreciate the moments of solitude. Perhaps right now the Higher powers did everything to make her think about the prospects for development and her own goals. When you always live temporary hobbies with other people, you can easily forget about personal growth.
- To be needed by someone. You can’t always be closed off and shut yourself off from the initiative to help others. The society appreciates reliable and purposeful people who are ready to support. If a girl is ready to prove herself in some area and goes to a meeting, people will begin to notice and appreciate her.
- Stop being a gray mouse. Constant "boo-boo-boo, I'm not like that, they are all like that" - you can go crazy from such thoughts. No need to make a gloomy face, constantly turn the day into the end of the world, do not rejoice in the most ordinary moments of life. Cheerful and cheerful people rarely remain alone - others are drawn to them.
- Appreciate yourself. , no one needs and everyone passes by? You need to develop respect for your individuality and strive to emphasize it from an interesting side. Why not change the style of clothing, hairstyle, makeup, learn to gracefully walk and develop posture, go in for sports? You want to approach self-sufficient people, talk, learn something new and just be around.
- Do charity work and travel. These two things are inextricably linked. When we get to know the world, we immediately reveal our inner potential. The unknown expands consciousness, which helps to understand the meaning of true values. To help children, the elderly and handicapped people, animals, the surrounding nature - the inner emptiness will immediately be filled with love and awe for the outside world.
“I don’t need anyone? I was wrong and now I can live to the fullest without a drop of prejudice, ”we hope we were able to give you a similar feeling. Do not lose heart for a minute and appreciate every moment when you can shine with inner energy. P.S. Practice thinking positively and not being provoked once again. You are strong and you will feel confident every day! Liked the article? Share it with those who need support right now.
When it is unbearably painful to be in this world. When you feel like a stranger at this celebration of life. Loneliness, misunderstanding and mental heaviness lead to one single thought. And now all the time is busy searching for an answer to the question - how to die quickly?
Who needs me? There are no friends, no one wants to communicate, everyone just scoffs. And at home, continuation - eternal discontent and reproaches addressed to you. If instead of an affectionate word, the mother always yells and makes fun, you will inevitably feel unnecessary and stupid. The desire to die arises by itself.
Alone with my thoughts about the hopelessness of existence. People, cars... Indifference. Swim against the current of the river called "life" and end this ridiculous story. Why suffer when you can take and die now.
Where does the desire to die come from?
Such thoughts can occur to several types of people. According to the System-Vector Psychology of Yuri Burlan, some of them are the owners of the visual vector.They are easily vulnerable and take everything to heart. They are afraid that they will be offended, but they will not be able to respond in kind. They give a special drama to all events in life and fall into the abyss of emotions with their heads. More than anything, they are afraid of dying, but they can wish for it.
When in life there is a series of troubles, negative moments. When they are forced to endure humiliation and attacks, bullying and insults, or just a deep misunderstanding. They develop thoughts - no one loves me, no one needs me, even my own family, it's better for me to die.
Born to love life, the viewer experiences suffering and is tormented by a feeling of loneliness, which is very destructive for him. He is a born extrovert, able to make friends with everyone. System-vector psychology proves that he needs emotional connections, like air.
And now the viewer is looking on the Internet for how to die quickly and painlessly, anticipating that after his death it will not be he who will suffer, but his close and failed friends, bitterly regret and blame himself for his death.
What will it give?
Another lost life and nothing else! There is a way to end suffering easier and more painlessly. You just need to ask yourself not how to die quickly, but how to experience the joy of tomorrow. The answer is in the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan.“... Today, I can note the most important thing - I“ came ”to the training in a terrible depression, not even fully understanding why I was doing this. And to be honest, looking for a way to commit suicide, I came across a training, and now I work and enjoy life, I completely do without antidepressants and other chemicals, goals and desires appeared - all this can be considered a huge result for me ... "
Irina S., bank employee
Our future is in our hands, you can choose the path of suffering, or you can choose lightness and joy from every day. Register for a free online training now link.
The article was written using materials from online trainings on system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan
There come moments in life when a woman clearly understands: “I don’t need anyone at all.” This is not a complaint to a friend or a claim to her husband. This is her inner voice speaking, which means that her thoughts are sincere, and the pain is huge. The feeling of uselessness can arise regardless of age, financial security, the number of acquaintances, the presence of a family. At such moments, an emptiness forms inside, and you don’t see how you can correct the situation.
The germ of this feeling, as a rule, is formed in childhood. If the parents were too busy with their careers or personal lives and did not devote enough time to the child, he could not talk to them, consult - already at that moment he realized that no one needed him, and this feeling was firmly planted inside. Then different situations can occur - job loss, divorce, and all these emotions return again. If your problem has the same roots, try to analyze the situation. You know that your parents loved you. Perhaps they simply could not find a way to express their love, tenderness, care.
What to do?
In fact, there is a way out and not even one. First, do you really feel the need to be needed by someone? What does this need mean to you?
Many people live enjoying life, satisfy their own needs, fulfill their own desires and are happy at the same time. These people are self-sufficient, they do not need the love of others, they do not need confirmation of their own significance. Someone may call them egoists - but what's the difference? In fact, the state of loneliness is inevitable. After all, sooner or later the children will grow up and leave for their own home, and there is no guarantee that the partner will not stop loving.
So the most important thing that a person can have is to learn to appreciate and be grateful for the moments of loneliness that fate gives. After all, this is an opportunity to devote time to yourself, your interests, development. All you need to do is make the right use of the opportunities that arise.
If this option does not suit you, then another option remains - to become necessary: to take the first step, to help solve someone's problem, to be there when they need it, to develop yourself. The problem of a person who does not develop relationships with others may lurk in himself. Have you seen many cheerful, cheerful people who are of no use to anyone?
At the same time, gloomy and withdrawn people do not cause a desire to communicate with them, because with their whole appearance they show that they do not want to make contact. A person who smiles always attracts others. No wonder - after all, it seems to others that he has no problems, and they want to join this atmosphere of carelessness.
In fact, everything can be different: everyone has problems, difficult situations, issues that needed to be resolved yesterday. But there are people who will never show by their appearance that it is hard for them. They know that problems attract new problems. Therefore, these people are always in an excellent mood - this is their habit. If you work it out in yourself, you will see how the situation changes.
The value of a person for others is measured by what he can give them. It can be knowledge, attention, care, help. Take care of yourself, master your profession to perfection, acquire the necessary skills, develop talents.
If you have something to give to another, you are definitely needed by someone. The question may be that you want to be needed by the wrong people. In these cases, you need to be extremely careful - when you endlessly give without receiving anything in return, sooner or later nothing remains. This is how this inner emptiness is formed, causing so much pain. From here there are complexes, experiences, a feeling of uselessness. You need to get out of these relationships.
Someone else absolutely needs you - it's time to look around. Just don't offer your soul to the first person you meet. Appreciate yourself, and then the person who is next to you will also appreciate you.
There are many people who need and need support - both children and adults. There are various funds helping them. If you feel an urgent need to be needed, find out which organizations in your area deal with such issues. They always need people. So you will not only save yourself from inner emptiness, but also make the world a better place, and also find new friends.
When you lose a loved one
Sometimes terrible events occur, after which it is difficult to recover and it really seems that no one needs you. Sometimes dear and close people who were the meaning of life for us leave. There is nothing left but to gather strength and live on.
Psychologists recommend finding an activity that can distract you at least for a while. It is very important not to close within four walls, but to go out. Walking will help you recover a little and understand that life has not stopped.
Olga, St. Petersburg
I think I have very low self-esteem. I have two girlfriends, although we rarely see each other. But when we walk together, I can’t relax, I constantly think about what to say and what to do so that they pay attention to me, to get their approval and interest, at least some attention to myself, because it’s always at least they communicate more often together. I'm always interrupted. In relation to other people who are interesting to me - it's even worse. Instead of enjoying a conversation with them, I constantly think about how to say more so that there is no awkward silence, so that this person who spoke to me does not find me boring. I really envy people who have many friends, or at least a couple of friends, but true ones, who care about their problems, who are at least sometimes interested in their lives, support them. People who are called to go for a walk, people with an attractive appearance who have a personal life, people who are approached at least sometimes to get to know each other. I do not have that. I envy those happy people I see every day at school. Do not think, I almost never complain to people about my problems, I try to be friendly, I keep all the experiences in myself. And if I tell anyone, they don't care. Sometimes it seems to me that no one needs me at all, except for my parents. Only they care about me more than anyone. And I'm really afraid that this will be my whole life if I don't change something in myself.
Rate:
Kira, age: 09/16/2018
Responses:Hey Kira!
Try not to think about yourself, how you look in the eyes of others, but to be sincerely interested in another person, and then there will be words. If your communication does not continue - it happens. It's not your fault.
Finding a soul mate is very difficult.
Only one in a thousand, says Solomon,
It will become closer to you brother and home,
Worth looking for until the end of time
So that it doesn't get to someone else.
Nine hundred ninety-nine others
They will see in you what the whole world sees,
And the Thousand will not refuse in his arms,
Even when the whole world says no to you.
You think that others have many friends, but they are not friends, but buddies. A hard time will come - and they will scatter.
You are very lucky with your parents, there are not so many happy and complete families. Be grateful for this fate.
Unfortunately, everything is as you say: no one except our parents needs us with our problems. Other people have other problems and it's hard for them. Why should they solve other people's problems? Moreover, they are unable to do so. Only we ourselves can improve our lives.
Katerina, age: 24/17.09.2018
Konstantin, age: 28 / 24.09.2018
Hi Kira! I am very happy for you that everything is not so bad with you, maybe everything is fine, or good))
Yes, something can be corrected, and then everything will be fine and even excellent. You need to learn to accept yourself, otherwise, later in life you will meet problems created by your inner discomfort from what can rightfully belong to you, your friends, your hobbies, tastes. Indeed, with low self-acceptance, it is natural to pinch everything for yourself. But this is not necessary.
Through your letter it is very clearly read that someone else's opinion is important to you. Psychologists, thanks to this wrong attitude, make very good money. I'll explain it to you for free =)
Frequent comparison becomes painful when you compare yourself with your competitors, those who are taller than you (in this case, who has a lot of friends, guys have already appeared, who has what fashionable things, gadgets, who went where, etc.). And at the same time, you take everything that you already have for granted. And you see yourself as a failure. It is reasonable to listen to someone else's opinion as a starting point and nothing more. You generally have your own unique set of all this. And you can't have everything at once.
Has it ever occurred to you that when comparing with someone, you do it on only one obvious fact for you? And they do not talk about other aspects of life, they prefer to hide. In short, get rid of dependence on the opinions of others and you will see for yourself how you will be calm afterwards. And yet, has it ever occurred to you that what you envy is also envied by others, whom you somehow mistakenly put above yourself?
It doesn't really matter who's prettier, who's richer, who's more successful, After all, in the end, all that matters is whether you're happy. And are they happy? Did you know that Marilyn Monroe was a deeply unhappy person? External props do not bring happiness, it is inside. Therefore, everything that happens to you, accept with ease, it is yours, unique. If you see that someone is kind of cool, then this does not add to his happiness. I even remember that people in poor countries are happier than those in rich countries. It's all sorts of marketers who came up with the idea that you need to definitely relax abroad, wear expensive watches, ride an expensive car, have expensive personal belongings for life, and you will be happy. Alas, it is not.
I will add something about personal life, that at your age guys are still boys who have the wind in their heads. They don't have anything definite yet. They haven't been formed yet. In addition, I’ll tell you, today’s type of serious relationship at the age of 15 is something that a dozen years ago was not the norm, only thanks to the Internet now everyone sees who is with whom, the younger ones look at the older ones and drool. And they want everything seriously, this is maximalism, but it is natural for a teenager. You just need to be a little more thoughtful about it. I would even say that to move towards versatile communication in order to be sincerely interested in the interlocutor.
I will say especially, there is not much real communication between people, MOST EXCHANGE INFORMATION, and when they communicate like that, do not be particularly jealous. Not worth it. But communication, as one respected person said, that in it we ourselves open up in our depth, we help another to open up in the same way, this is our feat, and this is where we must make efforts. (On the feat of communion Archbishop Sergius of Prague)
Somehow this topic of interest in others was interesting to me, I had to study it. Especially examples, (I really needed it), I found a video and even took shorthand for myself in a notebook, then read it. There were basics, tips, examples. It helped me in my life. Look for the video "How to talk to people so they can hear you."
The question is also about friendship, I somehow noticed that others don’t really like to listen to someone else’s problems, I guess. It is perceived as whining, or something. I would talk about problems only if there is a potential possibility, or I am sure that this or that friend or acquaintance can offer something sensible. Only in this case. Therefore, it is important to learn how to solve problems. This will always come in handy.
Then about interest, there was an interesting program "100 questions for an adult", you can look at a few episodes.
As for the appearance as a guy, I will say this. The inner world is important, it is important that the girl has something to talk about, but not superficially. Another "50 questions that will free your mind" surf the Internet can help you with this.
Evaluated by clothes, escorted by the mind. And rightly observed. It is important to work on the external image, no one will pay attention to your rich inner world at first sight.
You are already like an adult girl, you admit that something needs to be changed. You are asking the right questions. The 10 Stupidest Mistakes People Make. This may also be of interest.
I want to become a happy person!
