If you are thinking about whether to return your wife, then most likely, somewhere deep in your soul you would like her to return. In order to develop a plan of action, you need to understand what reasons forced her to commit this desperate act.
Was there love?
One day, the husband returns home and the first thing that attracts his attention is the unusual silence. No one greets him at the door, the lights are turned off everywhere, and the aroma of hot food does not come from the kitchen. What's the matter? He walks around the apartment and notices that some of his wife’s personal belongings and her clothes are missing. What to do if your wife leaves?
This is serious stress for a man, even if there has been discord in the relationship for a long time. He could understand that the likelihood of his wife leaving was high. But when she finally decided to leave, she proved that her intentions were serious and her words could not be ignored.
But in peace and quiet it is better not to be influenced by negative emotions (“What does she allow herself to do?!”, “How dare she?”, “What does she think about herself?”, “Who, besides me, needs her like that?” ). Try to analyze how you feel. Psychologists advise you to remember how your relationship began. What attracted you to her?
It often happens that when we live with a person for a long time, we take many of his qualities for granted and stop appreciating them. So now is the time to understand what you value in her. Is she a faithful and devoted wife, is she a good cook, is her home clean and tidy? Or is she incredibly erudite, keeps up a conversation on any topic and always attracts attention in society? Or is she a creative person, a bright personality and always charges those around her with a good mood? Don't forget to tell her what you value about her when you decide to talk.
Should I bring my wife back?
If you really value this woman, then it is worth returning her. Unless, of course, she went to her mother or to a rented apartment, and not to another man. The departure of a wife, burdened by the presence of her lover, requires more time for reflection and a careful assessment of all the circumstances.
If you decide to return your wife, then be prepared:
- admit where you were wrong;
- tell why you love, appreciate, respect her;
- propose a relationship resuscitation plan;
- describe how you are going to change and work on yourself;
- fulfill all the promises given to her, otherwise she will not return again.
The last item on the list is the most important. If you promise to give up bad habits that irritate her or change your lifestyle, and when she returns, everything remains the same, then she will no longer be able to trust your words.
In order for a wife to leave the family, taking the child with her, she needs compelling reasons. At the same time, she will more than once try to discuss them with her husband, make trouble, swear. That is, she will try in every way available to her to attract her husband’s attention to these problems.
The most common reasons
They say that the first time is an accident, twice is a coincidence, and the third time is a trend. A wife can forgive her husband for almost everything, only if it does not repeat itself with enviable regularity. Then patience will end.
Alcohol
Alcohol abuse. Moreover, systematic abuse. It is unlikely that she is pleased when it is not her loved one who returns home, but a foul-smelling, drunken body that requires care and attention. And then he suffers from a hangover, while the wife must meekly and with a smile on her face serve him aspirin and mineral water. She might go for it the first couple of times, but then it will annoy her.
Friends
Every person needs friends or at least company with whom they can sometimes spend time and take their mind off problems. But if such meetings happen too often, the wife may feel abandoned. She misses her husband's attention. And if there is a child in the family, then she is angry not only because her husband does not help her, but also does not devote time to his child, in fact, abandons him completely to her.
And if gatherings with friends are accompanied by drinking beer or stronger alcoholic beverages, this can increase the wife’s irritation. After all, men probably don’t count the amount they drink and often abuse it.
If there are a lot of single men in the company, then they can brag about their love affairs. Talking about their new girls and their charms, they can irritate even an exemplary family man. Surely a man will not feel very comfortable if he cannot also talk about his love exploits. And since he is unlikely to want to reveal the details of his intimate life, he will either have to invent something or find a mistress. It is unlikely that the wife will approve of this.
Mistress
When a husband has another woman in his life, the wife feels humiliated, betrayed and insulted. Forgiveness requires a lot of effort from her. And this does not always happen quickly.
If, having learned about her husband’s mistress, the wife leaves home, this means that she does not want to fight for her marriage and does not see the point in maintaining the relationship. If the husband wants to return his wife home in this case, then truly titanic efforts will have to be made.
Lover
If the wife left for another man, and even took the child with her, then she definitely does not see the point in continuing to live with her husband. Maybe she doesn’t see the point in trying to fix him or is tired of constantly struggling with bad habits, with the company of friends, or with her mistress.
But even if your wife has left for her lover, you can still try to get her back. But will you be able to live better after this and not remember the past?
Husband's serious illness
Unfortunately, no one is insured against illness or getting into an accident. Not every person can accept this circumstance. After all, caring for a seriously ill person is incredibly difficult, but noble. If at such a moment the wife leaves, then such betrayal cannot be forgiven. Probably there was no love, there was only calculation on her part.
Trouble with the law
To earn a lot of money honestly, you need to work a lot and hard. But we all want to earn a lot, quickly, without making much effort. And when a man wants to prove to his wife that he is capable of earning a lot, he agrees to the conditions of the scammers. As a result, the husband has to answer before the law for his actions. The people who put him up to it literally evaporate. In this case, the wife can leave, because problems with the law become the last straw that will overflow her cup of patience.
Or the man initially does not disdain illegal ways of earning money. Perhaps he even has a criminal record; his wife was once waiting for him from prison. And here he is again under investigation. For some, this way of life becomes normal; they don’t see anything terrible in waiting for their husband and delivering packages to him. But not everyone is ready for this. In this case, the wife leaves. And since her husband does not have the opportunity to communicate with her much in person, it is almost impossible to return her.
If you still decide to use all your might to return your wife, then proceed with decisive action. Be prepared that she will not immediately make contact with you, will snap back or even insult you. If this happens over and over again, then she is simply not ready for reconciliation. Give her time and don't be offended. When she starts speaking calmly, the dialogue can begin.
Breaking the Deadlock
Starting to talk calmly and discuss problems is the way out of the impasse that the relationship has reached. Start from the beginning, that is, together remember how the relationship arose and developed, what was good. And how they ended up in a dead end.
Become the best version of yourself, make your life happier and more interesting
Promises have value only when they are kept. Discuss with your wife how you will live together, how to spend your time and be sure to follow the agreements.
Spend time together, go out into nature with your family, go to theaters and museums. Many entertainments are not they demand money. Walking in the park is free. And pampering yourself, your wife and child with ice cream is inexpensive.
Think beyond yourself
Think about your wife, about your family. Understand it. And learn to talk. When you start regularly discussing all problems as they arise, you will be able to solve them without losses.
Ferenz2000
Here's my story. I got married late at 48 years old, my wife was 36 at that time. A girl was born, my daughter whom I love madly. Before this, I didn’t have children; I lived with someone else in a civil marriage for 12 years, then we separated peacefully and now we maintain friendly relations.
I have lived with my wife for 4 years. Every 3-4 months there are scandals, over some small thing (water was spilled, the floor was dirty, etc.), but the most important thing is that everything switches to my mother, although she has nothing to do with it. And she lives separately from us, she is disabled and practically does not leave the apartment, so I visit her every other day, on weekends I pack her with groceries, my wife does not like this. She didn’t do anything bad to my wife, although you can get to the bottom of the post. But the most important thing is that if I or someone close to me says something, she will turn everything around, with an obvious lie, and will scream and prove that this is exactly what was said. I kept trying to resolve this kindly and bring it to scandals, but she screamed and screamed and calmed down when she pissed me off. At such moments it happened that I could not restrain myself and either pushed her, and hit her twice, very lightly, of course, this did not have any injuries or consequences. Moreover, this was a response to the fact that she herself threw herself at me with her fists. Maybe I don’t have nerves of iron either, but when they yell at you, insult you for no reason at all, and insult your mother at the same time, it’s hard to restrain yourself. Now, of course, she is telling me that I constantly beat her. A separate question about money, money has always been in the family, I earn normally and support both my child and my wife. Neither the child nor the wife ever needed anything that she bought. But money is everything to her, when she began to hide from me the money that I gave her or that relatives brought to the child, I also began to hide the money, before that all my earned savings lay openly. The last scandal was due to the fact that I asked where the money that I constantly put into expenses went. Maybe I was wrong to ask that, but again it’s a scandal. The next day her mother arrived and started making claims to me that I was insulting her daughter and driving her out of the apartment. The next day they packed all her things and she went to her mother. At the same time, she took all the things that I bought, in short, my apartment is now empty. It must be said that her mother also left her husband and turned her children against their father, whom they hate. Now my wife lives with her mother for six months, I carry money for them, and I rarely see the child. When I see my daughter, I cry a lot, I can’t help myself, because my soul hurts. She is only 2.5 years old, she still can’t speak, but she loves me so much that when she came home from work she always ran to me. And now I can’t sleep at night, my soul is just torn, I miss my daughter so much. I tell my wife to come back and she says she won’t. I tell her if you want, file for divorce, she’s still holding out. He’s not filing for divorce, he’s not leaving my apartment. Sorry I wrote so much. But what should I wish for, how to live. When I don’t see my daughter for a couple of weeks, I calm down a little; when I see my daughter, I can’t come to my senses for several days. I can’t imagine how I should live anymore
Don Vittorio
Good day! Does your wife work herself?
Ferenz2000
Don Vittorio no it doesn't work.
Don Vittorio
Don Vittorio no it doesn't work.
Then see what happens. Regarding the divorce, you are in a more advantageous position - you work, you earn good money, you have an apartment, which means you can provide your child with much more care and comfort than your wife. Your mother-in-law cannot in any way claim custody of the child. At the moment, as far as I understand, without your money it is impossible to provide the child with normal, full-fledged maintenance. And they also manipulate you with the help of your daughter.
Ferenz2000
Yes, this one is true, that’s right. I feel like I'm being blackmailed as a child, knowing how much I love her. But your answer is more legal, I would also like a psychotherapeutic one))
Don Vittorio
Yes, this one is true, that’s right. I feel like I'm being blackmailed as a child, knowing how much I love her. But your answer is more legal, I would also like a psychotherapeutic one))
You need to get out of the influence of manipulators. They constantly throw a hook at you, probably playing on your love for your daughter and sense of responsibility, and you swallow it every time. Maybe you don’t need to give money - buy everything you need for your daughter yourself, because... You don't know for sure how and what money is spent on. If your opponents are not satisfied with this option, the answer is obvious - not all the money goes to its intended purpose. There is a lot of information on the Internet about how to get rid of the power of manipulators - just type “manipulators” into a search engine and find the information you need. First of all, you need to critically evaluate yourself. To put it simply - are you a man or what? One of my friends likes to say in such situations - “Get yourself together, you rag!” Stop feeling sorry for yourself, leave the position of “victim”. Increase your self-esteem! In this situation, in my subjective opinion, you are shifting the responsibility for YOUR life and the life of your daughter onto your wife and mother-in-law. And you try to take this responsibility ON YOURSELF. Trust me - you will experience a unique sensation and drive!
Elena.
Ferenz2000, hello. why is the child with his mother?
Ferenz2000
Don Vittorio
I agree with you completely. I said that I would not give any more money, and this was met with such fury that it was not her who needed the money, but her daughter. After this they will probably stop letting me meet with my daughter. Yes, I know that I am a soft person. Do you think you should stick to this and not give money? And how to get rid of manipulators... Yes, I would spit on all this, I just miss my daughter, maybe I’ll forget over time?
Ferenz2000, hello. why is the child with his mother?
Elena.
Well, of course, but how can I take it by force? How will the child react to this?
Ferenz2000
and you’re not mad at me) I just asked Why? You did not answer)
Don Vittorio
Give us not money, but things and products that your daughter needs. No one has the right to forbid you to meet with your daughter, because you are her father. And you physically cannot forget her. And as for the fight against the influence of manipulators, type “people manipulators” into GOOGLE and get links to the sites you need
You know, I am also a soft person by nature, but if necessary, I can be so tough that people who know me say that they did not expect this from me. Manipulators need to be given the toughest rebuff, because... They don’t let go of the person they’ve hooked until the last minute, and when they realize that the victim is getting off the hook, they can become furious, using all possible methods to maintain their influence, trying to put pressure on a sense of responsibility, pity, induce a feeling of guilt, etc. .d.
Merbay
Sorry, I'll intrude into your conversation.
The situation is twofold..
And my opinion is that one side cannot be to blame. There are always two people to blame.
What and why is another question. In such situations, I always listen to both sides. I'm not a psychologist. And I look at the situation from a woman’s point of view, especially since there was a somewhat similar situation...
To give or not to give money is your right and lies personally on your conscience. (I agree with Don Vittorio that you can take a child and buy him everything he needs + buy the necessary food: milk + curds + kefir, etc.)
But no matter how the situation develops.. And no matter what fists the woman throws at her.. She can be restrained and removed.. (a man is always physically stronger) But under no circumstances should he hit (not even hard). If a man raised his hand to a woman..(he disappears for me as a man). This is my personal opinion.
And believe me, not all women are bad...
You just need to be able to understand them and try to figure it out together with the current situation.
Ferenz2000
Merbay,
I regretted this. But the state when I didn’t control myself. I can understand the woman; after all, before that I lived in a civil marriage and for 12 years there was not a single scandal. And here it’s impossible to sit down and talk, there’s endless yelling, no word to say, endless insults. Here my nerves couldn't stand it...
Elena.
Yes, I'm not angry at all. I'm at work all day, and my wife stays at home with the child. When I came home, the apartment was empty and the child was taken away. If you try to take it away there will be a scandal with the police, but the child still sees it.
Merbay
Ferenz2000, but there can’t be a constant scandal and yelling.. I think you can always find a situation when a woman is in good spirits and talk.. What’s wrong.. What doesn’t suit her in family life.. What would she want.. What would you like .. And meet each other.
Ferenz2000, good evening!
I regretted this. But the state when I didn’t control myself. I can understand the woman; after all, before that I lived in a civil marriage and for 12 years there was not a single scandal. And here it’s impossible to sit down and talk, there’s endless yelling, no words to say, endless insults. Here my nerves couldn't stand it...
Tell me, why did you marry this woman?
As I understand it, you had 12 years of a good relationship?
Ferenz2000
Olga There were no children in her first marriage. Then everything grew into friendships. And we talked calmly and parted ways, then she got another one. Of course it hurt both me and her, but we decided that it was better this way.
you said that you are asking your wife to come back? Well, won't the scandals continue then?
May be. But life was not full of scandals. Still, everything was fine, just like normal, ordinary life. Scandals 1 time two three months)
Good afternoon
I will speak as a psychologist naturally.
The key word in your message is moms-:)
Not entirely correct elaboration on both sides. With mothers, in general, everything is not so simple. Your wife saw in your disabled mother a switch in your attention and finances, and your wife went to her mother for the purpose of rethinking, and possibly manipulation.
You are attached to your child, this is natural, but if you listen to your spouse, she will have her own point of view and it may differ significantly from your vision.
Now, what should you do? You need to understand whether you need a relationship or whether you are forced to maintain it, since you may be deprived of meetings and attention from your child.
You must answer the question for yourself: Do you need a wife or are you trying to get her back for the sake of the child? This is the key question.
If there is no potential for a relationship, then getting your wife back is a temporary measure for a certain period.
If returning your wife means returning your child and you don’t see the potential of family relationships, then this is a road to nowhere. You can be a Sunday dad, although I rarely recommend it.
Look at the situation soberly and adequately. It is necessary to be together - if there is something to store and preserve. Otherwise it is an illusion. Endure - fall in love - the scheme is complex and ineffective. If, nevertheless, you see potential together, not just you, then visit a family psychologist, identify mutual claims and understand the potential of the relationship.
Good luck
GM
Ferenz2000
Thank you. There is a fear of being alone, but I don’t see the potential of a family. Although now it’s more about my internal anger towards my wife. Let some more time pass. But what to do with the fact that the longing for the child eats up. Is this more self-pity? How to overcome this? When I don’t see my child for a long time, I calm down a little. What should I do?
The scheme is not a very good sign: there is a scandal in the family - the wife takes the child and waits with the mother. The husband goes and returns his wife and child, even after the passage of time. To be honest, I don’t know about your wife’s plans, but if such a scheme is “working,” that is, manipulative, then you will regularly encounter it when you disagree with your wife. Mature relationships are when people do not run away, but solve issues together, yes, hard, yes, difficult, but they overcome mutual claims and learn lessons. Taking care of your mother is not a completely mature approach, for both one and the other spouse. The exception is the decision of your wife not to live together.
The “anger” will pass, you will be able to assess whether it is serious or whether there is still a prospect.
Life is full of situations that are difficult and painful to remember. And which we want to correct by any means. If you committed an act that caused your wife to leave with her child, do not despair. Any situation can be corrected. But how great are the chances of bringing your loved ones back into your life will depend only on you.
When a married couple is connected by a child or even more than one, this is already something more than just love, passion or attraction. But how can you return your wife’s love if arguments like “we must restore the relationship for the sake of the happiness of our children” no longer work on her?
In any case, the decision to return your beloved must be deliberate. It would be more honest to part ways once and for all than to torment your wife and child with constant quarrels and separations. Therefore, if you decide to save your family, be prepared to take care of this relationship in the future. Be more attentive, patient and caring than before the conflict.
How to get your wife and child back?
First, try to deal honestly with your own feelings. What drives you? Wounded pride, love for your spouse and child(ren), or fear of living alone for the rest of your life?
Only if you really miss the people close to you, will you be able to get them back. Otherwise, your wife will feel false in your actions, and your own patience will not last long. And everything could end in separation again.
And remember that only one person is not to blame for a breakup. Therefore, there is no point in blaming the wife for everything. It is better to think about your own shortcomings and actions that caused her to leave. And if you reconsider your point of view on your own actions and the behavior of your beloved, then the chances of a happy and strong marriage will be much higher.
What do psychologists advise when a wife and child leave for someone else?
Such cases are not uncommon: your wife not only left you in splendid isolation, but found care and warmth for herself and her children in the arms of another man. The situation is complicated by the fact that you need to not only return it, but also make it clear that you are better than your opponent.
Advice one. Show her that you have improved. Try to meet with children more often, show care, give nice gifts, help in difficult situations and care. It is important to show that you are ready to be a helper, a protector and a man who is ready to take care of and provide for your loved ones.
Tip two. Take the blame for what happened. Apologize, try to make amends for memories of conflicts. You may have to find a new job, take up exercise, give up beer on Fridays, and learn to be attentive and patient. But believe me: it's worth it when family happiness is at stake.
Tip three. Breathe new life and romance into your relationship with your spouse. Even if at first she doesn’t want to see you, wait for the right moment and invite her to a meeting. And instead of a banal tea party with a “debriefing”, organize some kind of romantic surprise for her: swimming with dolphins, horseback riding, spa or massage treatments. You know better what exactly can melt the ice in her heart.
Tip four. Don't relax after your loved one returns. After all, just recently, your wife took the children and left you for a reason, but because she lacked: warmth, understanding, peace of mind, confidence in the future. And it’s not enough to make titanic efforts for 2-3 weeks, and then again merge with the sofa upholstery and turn into the old husband who doesn’t care about the family. Do you want to be happy in your marriage? You will have to work a little to build and maintain it every day.
And the most main advice, which you can get from a psychologist: before you get into a relationship, restore harmony with yourself. To do this, you may have to turn to a professional who will help you cope with the flow of grievances and accusations towards the woman you love and direct your actions in the right direction.
So one day, during a crisis in my family life, I turned to him and never regretted my choice. Now I am happy and still married. But what could have happened if I had not asked for help in time? I don’t even want to think about it...
If your wife and child have left you, you need to carefully consider a plan for her return. However, first realize all your mistakes made in the past. If a woman is not afraid and leaves her husband, taking the child, this means that life with her husband did not suit her at all, and even for the sake of the child, she is not able to continue living with her husband as it was.
Of course, you are united by a child. You can act through it. And it will be easier for you to try to get your wife back precisely thanks to your common child. But this does not mean at all that you can relax and naively believe that you can sit with your hands folded and do nothing.
You must contact your wife and offer her help. Assure her that no matter what happens, you will always help her, that you do not want to stir up the past, but... You need to speak convincingly, but calmly. Offer to meet her on neutral territory. When meeting, be attentive, behave respectfully, provide assistance, preferably financial assistance. Give your child a toy and sweets. Establish human and parental contact with your family first. When you can calmly communicate with your wife, like friends, then you can hope to establish more than friendly relations with her. This will all happen gradually. Don't count on quick success. Your wife needs to get used to you again. She should see in you an almost new person, a different man whom she can look at with admiring eyes. It won't just happen on its own. Be patient. But this will happen if you are consistent in your words and actions.
Make arrangements with your wife to see your child. Go to her terms. If she wants you to see him on her territory, then so be it. If she forbids feeding him something specific, she knows better, she’s a mother. Be prepared for the fact that at first, out of resentment, your wife will regularly “bite” you, make claims, and cling to you.
Try to be patient and understanding. Only this can save your damaged relationship. You must understand your wife, feel her pain, understand her feelings, feel her rejection, alienation, unwillingness to be with you. When you get used to her sensations, feel her, you will be halfway to a happy future together. It’s not for nothing that there is a saying “Patience and work will grind everything down.” If you previously lacked patience and work on your relationship with your wife, now is the time to address this issue.
Love your family with all your soul, with all your heart. To do this, realize that you, your wife and child are one. How would you feel if your arm or leg was cut off? Do you understand? The pain is unbearable, and then slow death from blood loss occurs. About the same thing happens if your wife and child leave you.
Good afternoon. I will briefly describe the situation. we have been together for 6 years. We’ve been married for 2 years, throughout the entire time my wife constantly went to see her mother... at first I didn’t give it any importance and simply took the blame on myself and put up with it... when asked why you do this, the answer is I’m not your wife. After the marriage, everything continued... and then the divorce... she filed. The reasons for leaving are always different.. the last reason was I shouted at her. but this is a family and everyone has good and bad days. after waiting 10 days I didn’t call.. and then the court called.. that there was a divorce on the 28th... calling my wife to ask why.. the answer was tired... why after 2 years of marriage
we lived only 5 months together. 44 times in 6 years she went to her mother.... now we have a son... my head is spinning from all this.
I do not know what to do. I wooed her for a month. I came to visit my son, the three of us went for a walk.. but still insists on a divorce... and her friends are blowing in her ears.. they themselves got divorced... my wife is 29 years old.. I’m 32... I love her.
but my strength is already there... I understand that if I return it, he will leave again out of the blue... I can’t build a dialogue... I’m very aggressive and out of a small quarrel he makes an elephant with conclusions for the future..
Hello, Sergey. Apparently, you really don’t understand your wife’s position. But they don’t just file for divorce, do you agree with me? Something serious for her may indeed be a trifle for you, you are different people, you have different value systems, views on the world - and this is normal. But to build a relationship, just being yourself and loving another person is not enough.
If you had written a little earlier, I would have advised the two of you to contact a family psychologist to learn to listen and understand each other. But if your spouse has already filed for divorce, then it is possible that her “last chances”, attempts, etc. to improve the relationship have already passed.
You know, men are often less emotional in their expressions of feelings and less sensitive in their shades than women. This is culturally determined. Men are taught to “don’t cry”, “be strong”, etc. and women “to be gentle”, “affectionate”, i.e. show feelings. There is a wonderful book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus."
And indeed, the psychology of men and women is completely different. No matter how much you love women, for a relationship with her the skills acquired even in the strongest friendship will not be enough for you. A woman is a fundamentally different creature than a man, her words and actions mean completely different things than if he said the same thing to you friend or brother. Therefore, men and women often make the wrong conclusions about their partners and take offense where they should not.
I would highly advise you to start learning “women’s language”. One way or another, you have to communicate with your wife - you have a son.
You cannot change what has already happened - cancel already accumulated grievances, fatigue from frequent scandals, distrust of each other. But you can create the most honest and open dialogue with your wife now, in the current situation, and minimize losses that have not yet happened.
I would highly recommend the above book “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” and you MUST consult a psychologist for face-to-face work. Only by learning to look at the situation through your partner’s eyes will you be able to understand and predict his reaction, and will be able to change the dialogue. I wish you success in this important matter!
Borisenko Anna Sergeevna, psychologist in Krasnodar
Good answer 0 Bad answer 2Hello, Sergey!
Now it is important for you to save your family, so think about actually changing your behavior with your wife, and not just begging for forgiveness for a while (you yourself understand that this is not a solution, you write that then it will still “go away”) out of the blue"). You say that the reasons for quarrels are always different. Most likely, you can trace some similarities in them and you need to understand the main differences between you. About the last time you write that you shouted at her (“it’s okay, it happens to everyone”). Perhaps your wife has a different opinion on this matter. If this is the case, then it will be a solution for you if you want to fundamentally change your behavior with her, understanding the reasons why conflicts arise, then there is a chance that the problems will be solved and the relationship will change. You might consider seeking such help from a psychologist in person. All the best!
Sincerely,
Krokhalevskaya Vladlena Sergeevna, psychologist Krasnodar
Sergey, your case cannot be resolved by correspondence, it is advisable for the two of you to come for a consultation, or for you to deal with this matter in detail yourself.
Efimov Oleg psychologist Krasnodar (work on Skype is possible).
Good answer 0 Bad answer 5Sergey, hello, your wife has a very “childish” attitude. It is from little children that we sometimes hear the phrase: “I’ll go complain to my mother, my girlfriends,” and so on, that is, the opinion of all other people is very important to her. You really can’t guess, what’s in the other person’s head, and even if you guess, what will it give? You said correctly, a family is a family and there are different periods in partnerships, but mature relationships differ from infantile ones in the ability not to run away from problems, but to solve them. You This ability seems to exist - this follows from the text of the letter, but the wife apparently does not. However, she decided that she is better off with her mother and friends than with you, this is her choice. And he is your son and with him you are no one will never divorce.
Palchikova Elena Aleksandrovna, psychologist Krasnodar
Good answer 10 Bad answer 0 
Hello, Sergey.
You are right that every family has its good and bad moments. And we need to experience them together. I believe that you want to be with your wife, but it is difficult for you. It's probably not very easy for her either. But does she want to be with you - the question is? Maybe he wants to, but he’s afraid of something. Maybe she listens more to her mother and friends than to you. Maybe in your actions I saw something unsafe for myself. You need to figure things out together if you both want to be together.
Her frequent departures create many questions: why is she doing this? what is he running from? Maybe she expects you to constantly return her, in this way she confirms your love for herself?
calling my wife to ask why.. the answer was tired...
Most likely she was tired of her own tossing and uncertainty. You need to sort out the relationship: does she want to be close to you or does she finally want to break off the relationship. And already dance from this. If he wants, you two definitely need to undergo family therapy to analyze and prevent such situations. If the latter, then you will have to come to terms with her choice and learn to build relationships in such a way that they do not affect your relationship with your child.
Vidineva Natalya Gennadievna, psychologist Krasnodar
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