What does the story of male infidelity look like? Despite the fact that different men cheat on their wives with different women, the essence of cheating is the same.

In a relationship, passion is smoothed out, tension disappears, and a habit arises. If children are born into a family, then sex becomes less frequent and less violent. Spouses lose the ability to indulge in desire freely, at any time, in any place. They become “attached” to the home and to the children’s daily routine.

Identifying adultery is almost always easy. The relationship is marked by a sharp cooling on the part of the cheating spouse; the husband avoids conversations with his wife, not only heart-to-heart conversations, but even minor chatter at breakfast. The husband seems to avoid his wife, does not look her in the eye when communicating, as if he is afraid to give himself away. He may begin to harass his wife with nagging.

In addition, the unfaithful spouse always has a lot of things to do outside the home - he is asked to work overtime, sent on business trips, asked to help with moving, repairs, etc. In addition, betrayal leaves a financial trail, because the mistress expects bouquets, luxury sweets, expensive wine, evenings in a restaurant, and gifts. A password appears on your phone, tablet, or computer that didn’t exist before.

By comparing these facts, the wife can pin her husband to the wall with indirect evidence and get a confession of infidelity from him. The only thing is that not every wife really wants this recognition. Most women want to know only one answer - a categorically negative one.

How does a wife feel when she learns about her husband's infidelity?

The first feeling is deafening, dullness, lack of perception. The brain refuses to accept that the husband has cheated, betrayed, deceived. Then a reaction develops - tears, screaming, hysteria, alienation. Later, a sharply negative attitude towards smear is established, even to the point of hatred.

Hatred is one of the strongest negative feelings that can destroy the person experiencing it from the inside. Because of hatred, everything good that happened between spouses is devalued, life seems disgustingly unpleasant, marriage is perceived as a heavy cross. In the most difficult situations, hatred of the husband also extends to the children. The son gets it from his mother because he is like his father. Daughters - because she loves her father no matter what. This is a vicious circle that begins and closes with the negativism experienced by the mother towards the father. The children have nothing to do with it at all, but they are the ones who suffer more than others, even more than the deceived mother, because they love both parents and it hurts them to understand that the father somehow offended the mother, and offended her so much that the house now resembles a battlefield.

Yes, a deceived woman has the right to be offended by her husband and is angry with him, but hatred of him must be suppressed at the root for her own sake and for the sake of her children.

The woman is torn apart by internal contradictions. On the one hand, she wants to save the family, save the father for the children. On the other hand, she no longer believes her husband, is angry with him, and has lost interest in him sexually.

This is where the roots of conflicts come from, which undermine already shaken relations. If, moreover, the husband behaves as if nothing had happened, does not smooth out the aggravated corners, does not try to regain the trust and love of his wife, then the marriage is slowly and surely moving towards collapse.

Claims accumulate - everyday, personal, sexual. Finding no way out, they go off like an explosive device, destroying everything around, leaving no stone unturned from family life.

What to do if you hate your husband because he cheated

If a woman understands that she has hated her husband, she needs to correct this attitude towards him. If this is not done, hatred will destroy not only the marriage, but also relationships with children, parents, friends, and will also cause significant discord in the woman’s relationship with herself.

Even if a wife does not remember her husband’s infidelity every day, the very fact of it is still firmly ingrained in her memory and prevents her from building adequate relationships with both herself and her husband. She feels deep irritation, rejection, bitterness of resentment in her soul and understands that she has not forgiven her husband and is unlikely to be able to forgive him (even if this is not the case, hatred prevents the woman from realizing that she has mentally forgiven her husband).

The wife does not trust her husband, she can no longer share her thoughts and feelings, experiences and sensations with him. In addition, the confidence that she has a solid and reliable male shoulder next to her, on which she can lean in difficult times, has probably disappeared.

A bitter thought constantly comes to mind about how cruelly and vilely her husband treated her. Then, when the wife was organizing her life, earning money for the family, nursing a newborn child through sleepless nights, caring for elderly relatives, etc., the husband spent time for his own pleasure with a strange woman, to whom he gave his attention, affection, and tenderness.

Sometimes such thoughts form the belief that a woman now lives not with her husband, but with an enemy who needs to be destroyed, trampled, and lime-washed. And from a loving, understanding wife, she degenerates into a sarcastic, evil fury who neglects the house, stops cooking and washing for her husband, lashes out at the children, and descends to screaming and insults.

Sometimes a woman chooses this tactic so that her husband will leave her. She lacks either the mental strength or the courage to break off the relationship. So she waits until her husband gets tired of living like he’s on a powder keg and either files for divorce or packs up his things and leaves the house.

Many women believe that if they demand a divorce from their cheating husband, then they are somehow to blame for the breakdown of the family, for the fact that the children will be left without a father, for the fact that they could not save their marriage, although in fact the fault is entirely lies with the spouse. But if the husband leaves, then the initiative and the fault are also his.

How to remove hatred towards your husband from your heart

The first letter contains all the reproaches and insults directed at the spouse. All the insults, all the mocking attacks towards him, all the dirt and all the bad things must find an outlet in these letters. There may be several of them. Each one must be written intuitively, without re-reading. And immediately after writing, tear it to shreds and burn it. This is not some kind of magical ritual. Tearing up letters will give peace to the soul by keeping your hands busy. And burning will create the impression of complete destruction of the negative that has accumulated in the wife’s soul.

After this, you need to write a letter of forgiveness to your husband, which should reflect all the positive aspects of the relationship with your husband from the very beginning. You need to thank him for something, rejoice at some of his victories and achievements. There can also be a lot of these letters. With each new letter, peace will reign in your soul and your attitude towards your spouse will level out.

It happens that a woman develops a persistent physical rejection of her husband. He even starts to smell unpleasant to her. She avoids any physical contact with him, does not want to touch him. The thought of a kiss, a hug, or intimacy with her husband is disgusting to her. The body contracts almost to the point of painful spasms from any sexual advances on the part of the husband. In particularly difficult situations, the wife even develops gynecological diseases. This is how the psyche fences off the body from sex with a hated partner.

It is vital to combat these manifestations. You need to visualize your hatred. To do this, you need to imagine your hatred as it is felt. What does it look like - in the form of a shapeless lump, a ball, a bunch of needles? What color is it? Where does it concentrate - in the head, in the throat, in the chest, in the stomach?

From a psychological point of view, this clot of pain and hatred is part of the woman herself. And it must be treated with caution and care, like other parts of the body. Psychologists advise imagining that a pair of hands has appeared, which will gently and carefully remove the foreign element from the body and place it on the table.

The extracted element must be examined with an inner gaze and asked questions:

1. Are you part of me or part of another person?
2. Why are you bothering me?
3. Why should I be angry with you?

The answers received are a reflection of a woman’s attitude towards herself in the situation in which she found herself because of her husband’s infidelity.

It often turns out that a woman is aware of a foreign element that bothers her, as a part of herself that is sick or dying, which arose as a punishment for allowing her husband to cheat, which is in her body so as not to let her forget about the betrayal, because the woman at the subconscious level she is sure that if she forgets about her husband’s betrayal, she will thus betray herself.

All these feelings need to be visually removed from the lump and this must be done until the lump dissolves.

A woman can understand that she did everything right based on how she feels. There should be lightness in the body.

If you cannot cope with the problem on your own, you need to consult a psychologist. Being left alone with your hatred is dangerous for both your psyche and your physical health.

Hatred is a dangerous feeling that causes great harm to mental health. It is especially bad when a person hates someone with whom he is constantly close. Often women live with their husbands for decades and feel extremely unhappy.

“I hate my husband, but I live with him”...

It’s good if hatred for a once-loved person manifested itself in the early stages of marriage. In this case, many decide to separate.

It’s worse when a woman discovers hostility towards her husband after several years of marriage. In this case, several factors prevent divorce:

1. Availability of common property. Today, many young couples take out a mortgage or relatives donate housing on the occasion of their wedding. It is morally difficult to imagine a lawsuit over the division of a beloved apartment and joint property;
2. Fear of being unnecessary. Ladies after a divorce are panicked that they will not find a new husband;
3. Children. Perhaps the most home the reason that stops a woman from getting a divorce. After all, growing up in a single-parent family or with a “new” dad will be difficult for a child.

An apartment or household appliances are not something for which you should expose yourself to constant stress every day. Hatred provokes it, which then leads to neuroses and depression.

Is it worth living in a nice apartment with a modern refrigerator and stylish furniture, but constantly exhausting yourself with stress?

You can safely disperse even if you are afraid of being unnecessary. Psychologists are confident that a divorced woman has just as much chance of finding a new life partner as one who has not lived a married life.

Girls often fill their heads with negative thoughts and begin to push away new suitors, looking for a bunch of flaws in them and being afraid of another divorce.

The only thing that should stop you from divorce is a child. It is worth leaving your husband only in extreme cases. For example, when he regularly drinks, engages in assault, or has another objective disadvantage.

The presence of an unpleasant character trait or annoying habits should not be the cause of the child’s psychological trauma that occurs during a divorce.

The origins of female hostility

Before breaking off a relationship, you should look for the reasons for hatred. They are often quite banal:

• Husband's terrible habits;
• Soft character;
• Frequent betrayals;
• Aggressor in relationships.

Some girls claim that they did not know about their lover’s disgusting habits. They supposedly appeared only with the beginning of family life. Their ideal person in all respects suddenly began to snore, slurp loudly while eating, regularly makes a mess, etc.

In fact, these shortcomings were simply not noticed a girl in the period of falling in love, when feelings are dizzy. These are not just beautiful words, but features of physiology.

When hugging, kissing, having sex, and sometimes just being close to a loved one, the brain actively produces endorphins. These happiness hormones give the young couple a feeling of happiness. But they often make it difficult to notice negative habits.

Not all girls like an easy-going and kind character. Some people want a macho man who is ready for decisive actions and knows how to firmly defend his point of view.

Sometimes the wife first “sculpts” her pliable husband into a person who is comfortable for her, who agrees with everything, and then becomes indignant at what a mattress he is.

When a man often walks on the side, it insults his soulmate. Coldness and indifference appear in relationships. After all, a man finds affection and simply pleasant emotions from another. Adding fuel to the fire of hatred is the fact that almost everyone knows about his infidelities.

The hardest thing is for girls who have linked their lives with an aggressor. Such tyrants find a reason to find fault with everything. Even when fists are used, the wife continues to endure and even justifies the husband in front of relatives and friends.

Sometimes she has the determination to tell him about the divorce. In such cases, the aggressors change abruptly and beg to save the family. Unfortunately, most often they last for a maximum of a month. Then the unfortunate woman again faces threats, scenes of jealousy and assault.

When a woman just doesn't love

The reasons listed above apply to men. But sometimes the spouse herself falls in love with another or simply does not feel emotional closeness with her other half.

This happens in cases where a girl marries due to convenient circumstances, and not for love. For example, a good candidate turned up who looks after him beautifully, is successfully building a career, and even all his friends and relatives praise such an enviable groom.

In this case, a woman sometimes manages to find happiness “on the side.” She is quite happy with a calm family life combined with periodic affairs. But still, the most honest option would be to admit to her husband that she does not have feelings for him and wants to leave.

How to stop hating your husband?

When the cause is found, the problem begins to be worked on. In the case of a husband’s bad habits, psychologists advise reconsider your attitude to the situation. After all, for a representative of the strong half of humanity, who without hesitation slurps at the table and throws out his socks, this is all indicator of trust . He can allow himself to be natural and he is pleased if his wife accepts him this way and does not try to correct him.

If a woman is not satisfied with a husband with a weak character, then she should imagine the macho behavior she has always dreamed of. He will not adapt to the interests of the “woman” and will not give a damn about her whims. Therefore, you should appreciate your husband for who he is. In addition, many men with a gentle character are excellent family men.

What to do in the case of a womanizer? It's more difficult here. Some ladies manage to attract their husbands with variety in their intimate life, others begin to share his interests and find common topics for conversation. All this brings the married couple very close and allows the man to forget about the desire to look for bright emotions on the side.

An aggressor who cannot imagine a day without assault must be dealt with urgently. It is advisable not to give him the opportunity to beg for forgiveness on his part.

Going to a psychologist to solve the problem

If attempts to reconsider your attitude towards your husband are unsuccessful, then you should contact a family psychologist. Don't be shy about asking for help from a professional. This is better than being in constant tension and not feeling happy in family life.

In many cases, a few sessions are enough to determine the root of the problem and improve the relationship.

I hate my husband's relatives

A separate painful topic is hostility towards the relatives of the beloved. Especially if they constantly come in with advice and moralizing. The best method would be to reduce the importance of these people.

Girls are often offended when their husband's relatives directly or indirectly point out her shortcomings. There is no need to wait for approval or enter into conflict.

Ignoring complaints solves two problems: their own tension is reduced and relatives realize the impossibility of influencing the wife, to whom “it is useless to say anything.” It is enough to ignore the comments.

Seeing the indifference of an opponent, a person often loses interest in further escalating the conflict.

As a result, we can say that every problem has a solution. If hatred of your husband interferes with your life, then you should not try to suppress this feeling or “let off steam” with scandals. You should identify the cause of the hostility, and then try to change your attitude towards your husband’s shortcomings and even find positive aspects in them.

Video: how to overcome hatred towards your husband

In this video, psychologist Natalya Loseva will tell you how to overcome your hostility towards your husband and perceive him normally again:

Hello, dear ladies! Today I would like to raise the difficult topic of family relationships, when a woman experiences unpleasant emotions and sensations towards her husband. Recently, one friend admitted that I hate my husband. When I tried to find out the reason, it turned out that there were many factors that could be tolerated individually, but all together simply drove her crazy. Let's try to understand the reasons for the hatred that has arisen and decide how to deal with it.

Reason - solution

Every problem has its reasons. Hatred towards your husband cannot just arise out of the blue. And first of all, of course, you need to understand why you have such feelings for your beloved.

You can deal with any reason and understand what needs to be done to resolve the situation. I propose to consider each reason in more detail and understand how to live happily no matter what.

Family

I often hear women complaining about their spouse's relatives: brother, annoying sister, and so on. As they say, we don’t choose our family, and here you will have to come to terms with the presence of annoying relatives of your husband.

You may not meet or see them. It is your right. So, one of my clients directly told her husband that she did not want and would not meet his parents. But at the same time, she does not insist on his meetings with her relatives. They found a compromise. Try to talk calmly with your spouse and find a solution.

Sometimes a woman's hatred spreads to the ex-family of her beloved man. A friend of mine can’t establish contact with her child from her first marriage. She tried everything, but it’s as if she’s doing everything on purpose to make my father leave my friend.

The ex-wife doesn’t seem to put a spoke in the wheels, but she doesn’t interfere with her new dad’s wife either. Here you have only one way out - to talk honestly with your man, explain everything calmly and, if necessary, simply not meet with members of his former family. If it is impossible to establish contact, then there is no need.

Lie

Another reason for women's hatred is when a man begins to cheat. My client suddenly began to notice that her husband’s words did not match his actions and reality. She began to catch him first in small deceptions, then worse and more seriously. He couldn't stop lying to her.

In order to solve this problem, you and your spouse need to understand the reason for his deceptions. In my article “” I describe in detail why our faithful do this. This is not always done out of malice.

When you understand the reason for his behavior, then the solution will come to you quite easily. If you are unable to cope on your own, then I recommend seeking help from a psychologist.

affair

Remember, hatred is a very strong feeling that destroys relationships. And if you cannot overcome it, your husband’s betrayal will not give you peace, you cannot overcome it and move on, then most likely you will not be able to be happy together.

I know many couples who successfully experienced infidelity, they were able to cope and start over with a clean slate. It all depends only on you and your desire for a happy future together.

Bed

Sometimes problems start in bed. Sex is no longer as passionate as it was at first, the sensations are dulled, and it’s not clear what to do about it. First, understand that there is a solution for every problem and do not think that if you start having difficulties with this, then nothing can be fixed.

Secondly, read the article "". In it I colorfully talk about family relationships. You can always start using toys, try to realize your erotic fantasies and desires that were previously kept silent, and watch a special movie. The main thing is not to be shy and openly tell your partner about your desires, then you will be able to reach heights that you never imagined.

Behavior

It also happens that a spouse changes a lot over time. At the very beginning he was so affectionate and caring, but now... He began to prohibit meeting with friends, does not allow him to leave the house without his knowledge, monitor correspondence and messages, limits his finances and does not allow him to work. And the poor wife says to herself: I hate him and I love him.

It can be very difficult to spot a tyrant at first glance. But staying with such a man can be dangerous for your health. Be sure to read the article "". Don't be afraid to ask for help.

Family matters

Relationships in each family develop according to their own scenario. If you did not find reasons for your negative feelings towards your husband in this article, then be sure to tell your story below in the comments, you can get advice from our readers, as well as my view on the situation as a psychologist.

I am sure that nothing can happen between a man and a woman that will ruin their relationship forever. If both are ready to work and move forward, then any obstacle will be just a minor event in their lives.

Our life and happiness depend only on ourselves. Therefore, be prepared to change and do something yourself in order to achieve harmony in family relationships.

I recommend that you purchase the book by Helen Verbeek and Elena Myasnikova “ Relatives... Tactics and strategy of family diplomacy" In it you will certainly find many useful tips that will help you build harmonious and healthy relationships with all family members.

What annoys you about your husband? Do you know of any things that are unpleasant to your spouse? How do you usually solve family problems?

I wish you patience and self-control.
Good luck!

I think you have heard the proverb more than once: “From love to hate there is only one step.” It also happens in life, when a once loved person ceases to be such, his sight, voice, smell begins to irritate him, his presence causes disgust. Why does this happen, where does this hatred for your husband come from, for the person whom you once loved very much and decided to share your life with? What was the reason for his changes or did the changes actually occur in you? Let’s talk about whether it’s worth living with such a partner, and what to do in such a situation.

What forces you to live with a hated person?

When hatred develops at the beginning of life together, for example, subsequently due to everyday problems, when the young people did not have the opportunity to live together before marriage, and when living together many pitfalls surfaced, then a decision is often made to separate or get a divorce. But there are also situations when hatred develops after many years of living together and then certain factors stop a woman from getting a divorce.

1. Common property. For example, a situation where a mortgage was taken out or, on the occasion of a wedding, relatives of the bride or groom were given housing as a gift. Having to divide your property can be daunting.
2. Common children. This is the main reason that stops a wife from getting a divorce. The phrase may apply here: “I hate my man, but I live with him, I do it for the sake of the children.” The woman is afraid that it will be difficult for the child or children without a father, and she is also worried that when a new dad appears, conflicts, misunderstandings, and psychological problems may arise for the growing baby.
3. Fear of loneliness. There may be a fear that after a divorce you will not be able to arrange your personal life, so you will have to while away your life alone.

Possible reasons for hatred

The development of hatred is always the result of dissatisfaction with one’s life, the presence of some suffering, or accumulated problems. If a person is happy, then he surrounds those around him with his mood. When hatred appears, it indicates that something is not going as desired. And the true reason for hatred does not always lie in the man himself. A woman may have strong irritability, formed on the basis of accumulated problems, and hatred of her husband will arise only because he is always nearby and simply “comes to hand.” In such a situation, the woman will say “I hate my husband, but at the same time I love him.” There is a duality of sensations.

Among the main reasons influencing the development of hatred are the following factors.

1. A woman could live in a world of illusions, hoping that she would have an ideal family, and that after the wedding her husband would carry her in his arms all his life. In reality, she encounters a bunch of everyday problems, quarrels and troubles begin. A strong belief is created that all the troubles are only due to the fact that this man is nearby, who makes you unhappy. And in such a situation, the real problem is a woman who has created an image of an ideal partner in her head, not realizing the fact that there are no ideal people, and she is not one either.
2. Betrayal. Here we are not only talking about physical betrayal with another woman; serious deception can also take place. Then a strong resentment settles in the heart, which develops into hatred. After all, this man did a lot of hurt. Only a rare woman will find the strength to forgive and continue to live as if nothing had happened. Some people have no control over this. The couple continues to live together for some time, but hatred remains in the soul, causing constant conflicts and scandals. And then you shouldn’t even think about saving the family for the sake of the children, because if they grow up in such an atmosphere, it will hurt their fragile children’s psyche much more than.
3. Identifying deficiencies. Often a woman becomes disappointed in her partner when his shortcomings, which were invisible during the romantic period of the relationship, begin to emerge. They irritate and drive you crazy.
4. The man fell out of love. A hateful attitude towards a partner can accumulate when a woman sees her husband’s coldness or he openly declares that the feelings have passed, but, for example, keeps the family together for the sake of the children. The wife becomes offended that she has to live with a man who is indifferent to her.
5. The husband uses physical or mental violence against his wife, or in some other way makes her life miserable. There may be sadism and tyranny here; it is also worth considering the presence of addictions, in particular drug addiction, alcoholism, and gambling addiction. If a man constantly insults and beats, leads an antisocial lifestyle, it is not surprising that he evokes negative emotions towards him.
6. Hatred can arise due to problems in intimate life. When a man pays little attention to his partner or may simply not be satisfied with the quality of sex. If a woman remains unsatisfied, she becomes angry with her man.

Sometimes hatred consumes a woman to such an extent that even after a divorce, separation from the seemingly object of these feelings, she continues to live, saying “I hate my ex-husband,” and continues to project these feelings onto her children, seeing her former partner in them. For many years he accumulates this anger, sometimes even resentment, becomes fixated on his feelings, unable to live normally, while the man calmly arranges his personal life and creates a new family.

1. First of all, you need to make sure that the hatred you are now experiencing is really directed at your husband, and is not a dispersion of some other problem. To understand this, you can, for example, imagine life without a spouse. Will anything change in your feelings or not?
2. Even if you are convinced that it is your husband who causes negative emotions, this still had to be preceded by some event. You need to figure out what exactly influenced the development of hostility. Then it will be necessary to decide whether something can be changed, corrected, so that feelings for the once beloved man will reappear.
3. In a situation where your man offends, humiliates, beats, you should not even think about saving the family.
4. If your hatred is present along with the excellent relationship between father and son or daughter, then it is worth reconsidering your attitude towards a man, maybe your feeling can still be turned into love and it is better to save your marriage.
5. Try to bring romance into your relationship. Go with your husband to the cinema or for a walk in the park, just have a candlelit dinner. The appearance of positive emotions and good memories can change your attitude towards a man.
6. Try to control yourself. When you are close to your husband, do not snap at him every second, maintain normal communication. In the first stages it will be very difficult if hatred has accumulated inside. So you can, for example, start by watching a comedy film together. Often, positive emotions that are experienced together help to improve relationships between people.
7. If you have the opportunity and you have ambivalent feelings about your relationship with your husband (like you hate him, but at the same time love him), then you can try to go on a trip together, leaving the children with relatives. You don’t have to go abroad to do this; you can just rent a hotel room on the other side of the city. The main thing is to retire, get away from everyday problems, be alone, without your usual surroundings, and try to talk.
8. If your husband has become cold, does not pay due attention, and this is what provoked the hateful feeling towards him, think about what caused his attitude to change. Perhaps there have been some changes in you that now do not suit your spouse. We need to analyze what has changed. Having identified this reason, begin to eliminate it. For example, if you neglected yourself, stopped taking care of yourself, gained extra pounds, then you need to pull yourself together, go to the gym, to a beauty salon and check, perhaps over time, when you begin to change for the better, the man’s attitude as well. will change.
9. If hatred is based on the fact that your partner did not live up to your expectations, then you need to realize that there are no ideal people, that everyone has their shortcomings. The question is now whether you can put up with them, accept this person, or is it all so serious for you that it’s easier to part with. But then think about the fact that moments that can cause hostility can also be found in other partners. Are you ready for constant loneliness? Or maybe you should reconsider your views on a man?
10. Be that as it may, do not rush to file for divorce right away. It may still be possible to save your marriage. Often you need to talk to your husband, discuss the situation, talk about your feelings in order for something to change.
11. If everything is bad, but you want to preserve your relationship with your husband, because you still feel that you love him, then you should consult a psychologist or psychotherapist. This can be either an individual visit or a joint trip with a partner to build relationships. A specialist will help you understand the causes of deep negative feelings and teach you how to overcome them. You will be surprised, but sometimes we don’t even realize what is hidden behind the feeling of hatred directed at a specific person.

Just recently, it would seem, Mendelssohn’s march was playing, you looked at the groom with loving eyes, but now you can’t see him. Everything about my husband infuriates me - the way he speaks, watches TV, eats, sleeps. Your mood drops even when you hear his key turning in the lock.

What should you do if you hate your husband so much that even when talking to him about everyday topics, you can barely restrain yourself from screaming?! That his once familiar smell has become disgusting to you. That sex with him is pure torture. What happened to him? Or is it your fault? And how can we look at all its disadvantages not with hatred, but with understanding? Let's think about it.

Hatred does not appear out of nowhere. Sometimes an expected miracle turns into a real monster. You married the man in whom you saw a romantic young man: in love with you, making small and pleasant surprises. But in everyday life he turned out to be completely different: scattered socks are a drop in the bucket. And how many other little things that were hidden during the candy-bouquet romance:

• slurping at the table;
• wild laughter at stupid jokes;
• checkmate through the word;
• nothing in the house helps;
• snores like a bulldozer;
• shameless release of gases in the form of belching and farting.

Such little things can be listed endlessly, and they accumulate into one nasty lump, you are ashamed of your husband in public, hatred splashes out of you even at one of his plebeian antics. But is everything so sad?

And you know, if he behaves like this, it means that you have become dear to your husband - a kind of indicator of complete trust. With you he is honest and natural. It’s unbearable for you to live with him, only because you didn’t know him like that before. You didn’t have any life with him.

But usually such men are not whimsical. They will gladly eat even a tasteless dinner prepared by their wife, they will not yell that their slippers are uneven in the hallway, they will not criticize their wife’s unsuccessful hairstyle. They simply won’t notice it or will tactfully remain silent, because all this suits them. Can you imagine if such a lazy and domestic cat is replaced with an evil demon?

It’s amazing when women look for a husband who is “comfortable” in every sense, mold him into the kind of man they would like to have, and then begin to hate them furiously. “A rag, not a man, a whiner, he can’t do anything without me.” Of course, the name for such men is henpecked. And there seem to be many advantages in such a husband:

He is a hard worker under the strict guidance of his wife - he will even plow the harrow with his nose.

He does not argue with his wife, but rather agrees with her arguments.

He is a good family man and father to his children - he doesn’t go out, he stays indoors.

But! His henpeckedness irritates him to the point of furious hatred. A woman looks at brutal males on TV and thinks: “What did I do wrong with mine?” I just want to say to such a lady: “What’s wrong? Throw out your husband like a kitten - he will meekly leave, and change him to a brutal man. There won’t be any plasticine like that, and I don’t care what you can do with it. And then don’t complain that you’re unhappy - he will hate you, even for one attempt to open your mouth to him. So it’s better to remake your already dear spouse in a new way.”

Fragment from the film "The Wolf of Wall Street"

arrow_left Fragment from the film "The Wolf of Wall Street"

It is painful to live with a man who is listed as a husband only by a stamp in his passport. No, he does not tyrannize his missus, does not swing his fist, does not shout. Quite the contrary - he is cold towards her. At the same time, he gives her complete freedom of action, but the flame of hatred burns in the woman. It would seem - to her husband. Indeed, how can you live with this if:

• his friends come first;
• everyone already knows about his betrayals;
• he is stingy with words of love and expressions of tenderness;
• he forgets about sex with his own wife;
• it may disappear without explanation (read,).

In fact, a woman with such a husband does not hate him, but his coldness and inattention to her. If she didn’t leave him right away, it means that in her heart she loves him madly and is afraid of losing him. And his indifference instills even more fear of separation.

Therefore, if the former flame of love for his wife is not rekindled in him - through his jealousy, her transformation - then everything will be so. Hysterics and demands will only make the situation worse. Such marriages are good when they are of convenience: simple mutual benefit, nothing personal.

Well, it turned out like this - everyday life with my husband became boring and familiar, nothing changes, but here he is: on the way I met the man of my dreams. And this lover seems to be an ideal: with him there is passion and celebration, but with his husband there is dullness and boredom. And the woman suddenly began to feel that she fiercely hated her husband, because everything about him was different from the way it was with the new macho. Even though her husband is good and has nothing to blame for her.

A woman involuntarily thinks about recognition and divorce, hoping for a new happy marriage, where there will be a holiday every day. Even her husband’s touch, his voice and his smell become unpleasant for her - because she has something to compare with.

But now, dear reader, if you find yourself in the same situation, imagine what will happen if you still want to radically change the whole situation and get divorced. This person who is annoying you now will never, ever be around again. He knows all your habits, knows how to forgive your weaknesses, he is, in principle, a person close to you. And because of your stupidity, he will disappear from your life forever.

But with a new boyfriend - how will it work out. While he is a holiday person for you, you and your husband probably once experienced the same passion before your wedding, it’s just that the boat of love crashed into everyday life. But in everyday life will your new gentleman be just as dear and dear to the point of madness?

It is almost impossible to understand women who live with tyrant husbands, hate them fiercely and at the same time continue to live and endure all their antics. How can you live with such a hero?

He often shouts and uses force: he is accustomed to disturbing and beating his wife. And for any reason: for a poorly made bed, for breakfast served at the wrong time, for a “crooked” word spoken to him.

If he drinks, then his wild antics are not the result of his drunkenness, but of his aggressive nature. Alcohol simply aggravates aggression, and he is simply angry in life.

Jealousy is out of nowhere - he is jealous for no reason, and not towards a specific man, but simply finds a reason for a scandal.

He is even annoyed by his own children and the family cat - God forbid he gets caught when he is in the heat of anger.

If a woman tolerates this, she is either a masochist or simply afraid of losing at least some man, just so as not to be left alone. Moreover, such tyrant husbands find a cunning move: when they see that their wife’s strength has dried up and she is ready for a divorce, they lie at their wife’s feet, beg for forgiveness and swear that they will not do this again. Yeah, it's only for a week. And a woman is capable of forgiveness and pity. Moreover, he will also be justified in front of everyone.

Finally - an unusual technique

Let's do a thought experiment.

Imagine that you have the superpower to “read” men. It’s like Sherlock Holmes: you look at a man and you immediately know everything about him and understand what’s on his mind. You would hardly be reading this article now in search of a solution to your problem - you would not have any problems in your relationship at all.

And who said that this is impossible? Of course, you can’t read other people’s thoughts, but otherwise there is no magic here - only psychology.

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