Relationships in a couple become unbearable when there are no previous feelings, when you think that everything is over: love, understanding, and patience, but you still stay together. You broke up for a while, got back together, broke up again... And so on ten times. Together is bad: quarrels and mistrust, misunderstanding and betrayal. And being apart is not good, calls, SMS, and you meet again and decide to start over. But at first it won’t work, because it (the beginning) has already happened several times. And how can you start a relationship from the beginning if so much has already happened? What kind of beginning could there be? It's an illusion. You cannot start over something that already has its own history. The story can only continue.

You have known each other for a hundred years, everything is in your memory: meetings, partings, deception, insults, betrayal. Of course, in memory there is love, tenderness, and passion, but this is much less of all. Why? Because the relationship has exhausted itself. Because betrayal and lies cancel out any feelings. Because for many years you are still together for a reason unknown to you.

Although, if you look at it, the reason is known. You're used to it. You are accustomed to a constant, unchanged way of life. Same partner, same relationship, same problems. And most importantly, clearly developed models of behavior in situations, and the same solutions to problems. Everything follows the same plan: quarrel, resentment, separation, reconciliation. And this chain is so worked out that you no longer know how to do it any other way; moreover, it seems to you that you don’t know how to do it any other way and won’t be able to. Therefore, you endlessly go through the same circle, realizing that such a relationship does not suit you, but you will not move from the dead point. This certainty is very tempting when you know what to do, what to say and what will happen next. This illusory stability is what captivates.

But when the sound inside you is “I can’t do this anymore,” you get the feeling that you are riding on rails, and there is no other road, only on rails. And as if some kind of push is not enough to get off these rails. You understand with your mind that there is a person nearby who betrayed and does not inspire trust, that feelings have long been transformed and become different, that you want a different life, where it will be warm and joyful, where if there are problems, then they will be different, not the same, but different . And you are ready to solve them, ready to live, fight, love... But how can you break this cyclical pattern? You just need to talk to yourself. Ask yourself: “What do I desire?” and answer yourself honestly, without regard to or your own fears. Forget for a moment about how it should be and how it should be. Answer yourself these questions:

• Today, now, do I want to be close to this person?
• Today, now, at this moment, am I comfortable next to him?
• Today, I personally am afraid of the relationships that exist?
• What does “love” mean to me? How is this, in actions, in actions?
• Is all this true in my partner’s attitude towards me?

From your answers it will become clear what you really want, how you see real relationships, what “love” means to you, and whether your concept of love coincides with what you observe in relationships. Having said all this to yourself (you can even out loud), you can understand for yourself, leave everything as it is, or still break out of this chain of events when the couple, as such, no longer exists.

You may be interested in the following articles:

Reviews (13) on “Together is bad and apart is not good. Is it so?"

Svetlana, if a person answered these questions and understands that the relationship does not have a bright future, but cannot leave, break the vicious circle. He cannot understand what is holding him back other than his habits. What should I do?
There are a lot of couples like that. I’m interested in your opinion, why does this happen (besides habit)? After all, there are other happy couples :)

This is approximately the situation in my cousin's family. They swear, “diverge and come together”... life is in full swing.
Everything would be fine, they like to live like this and... let them live. But at the same time, children suffer, parents suffer through their problems. But apparently, they don’t care. They are busy with their hectic lives, even, it seems to me, they enjoy their passions.

Ekaterina, if a person realizes that a relationship has no future, that it is meaningless, then he remains close for reasons that are understandable to him (housing, money, children, public opinion, fear of loneliness). But in the case when a person himself cannot understand what keeps him close besides habit, then the reason may be strong feelings (which reduce adequate perception) or attachment, and then people definitely come together and diverge and cannot find happiness in any way .

Nailya, sometimes, indeed, sharp outbursts in relationships, passions diverge and converge, and the opportunity to be apart and then get bored add spice to the relationship, and if this is what is missing, then people are quite happy. On the other hand, the question is time: how long can a couple live in this regime? A year or five or two weeks... In any case, this will end, because the individual strives for stability and family constancy.

The article seems to be aimed at breaking up the couple; this is not a solution, it is an avoidance of a problem that, in fact, will appear again.
How did our ancestors live? To be together all our lives, I don’t think we endured it all our lives.

Vladimir, the purpose of the article is not to push a couple to break up, I’m just talking about how you can figure it out if a person is confused and can neither live happily with a partner nor break up with him. It’s one thing if a couple is experiencing difficulties and another thing if nothing connects people with each other.

Everything has its own reason, and if the relationship has outlived its usefulness, then a breakup is not an escape from problems, but just a solution to a problem that prevents you from being happy and moving forward.

And the ancestors, by the way, suffered troubles in the family, out of fear of condemnation by society or the church. And those who simply encountered difficulties solved them and lived quite prosperously.

Svetlana! I read your article, and now I’m thinking about talking to my husband about the fact that I’ve been wanting to break up with him for several years now, but I didn’t dare, I couldn’t name the exact reason, both for myself and for him. And after your article I found the answer, but I’m thinking that maybe it’s still possible to improve the relationship (the problem is mainly with me, I don’t want to live with him) after a face-to-face consultation with you. Where do you hold a personal reception? And what is the best way for me to come for a consultation, with my husband or alone?

Svetlana, we quarrel every month, and most of the quarrels are in a bad mood, but I’m an easy-going person, and he’s not. We broke up for the second time, answering questions, I clearly understand that I don’t want to leave him, but he constantly provokes me to do so. He says that on the one hand he wants to continue with me, on the other he doesn’t. How can I make an appointment with you?

Hello, Svetlana! We lived with my husband for 8 years, but we are still sorting things out, constant quarrels, swearing, he began to raise his hand at me. We have a 7-year-old son, he is very worried. I left and still come back to them, time passes and that’s it starts again. I’m confused, I don’t know what to do. I miss him without him, but we can’t live normally with him and raise a child. We can’t do it together and we can’t live apart! What should I do? Please tell me!

• Maria, quarrels and separations are one thing, but physical violence is another. If your husband raises his hand against you, this is a threat to the safety of you and your child, think about it.
  And to figure out what you really want, it’s worth analyzing the reasons why you want to be with your husband and noting what you lose if you separate. In other words, think calmly (maybe for a few days) and write honestly on a piece of paper: what you gain by being together and what you will lose if you separate. I can help you analyze your list, if you wish, then write to my inbox [email protected]

Good afternoon
I read your article, everything seems simple and at the same time complicated. I have been in a relationship with a man for two years, both after a divorce, it seems to be scientific, but during this period we broke up twice, now for the third time. He is always the initiator of the separation, after the cyclical nature of quarrels, I don’t see any particular reasons for such actions, I think that everything can be solved and there is no point in going to the point of absurdity. He apparently thinks differently, we break up as always, I get nervous, I begin to convince him that we shouldn’t do this. This time I didn’t try to persuade him, I decided to go. Of course I worry myself, I want to be with this person, I love him, but I no longer have the strength to play these performances. And I wondered why he was like this, Mexican passions, an Italian family, many people may like to disagree and converge, and it turns out I accepted these rules of the game. How to get out of this problematic situation, I want to be with the man I love, but I don’t want to.
Please tell me, thanks in advance.

Love comes in different forms. We can fall in love at first sight, or we can only understand after many years that love was always there, we just didn’t notice it. You can love only one person all your life, or you can have a new object to love every day.

The concept of love is so multifaceted that an entire post could be devoted only to its many manifestations. Much has already been written about this, films have been made, and discussed on talk shows and forums. Today I want to talk about sick love, when being together is bad and being apart is difficult. Probably, many, if they have not experienced this, have definitely heard about such relationships.

When being together is bad and being apart is hard...

As always, my friend, let’s call her, for example, Nadya, prompted me to think about such a strange feeling. She and her boyfriend have been together for several years; they spent most of this time in quarrels, nagging, reproaches, and scandals. Her boyfriend is a typical bad guy. A magnificent, athletic figure, decorated with tattoos, all so mysterious and brutal. He is also an incredibly jealous tyrant and a narcissistic egoist. Nadya is a very attractive, well-mannered, balanced young girl who, if only she wanted, would have a crowd of fans. But she has no use for the crowd, she loves only her tormentor.

“You understand,” says Nadezhda, “I give him all of myself, everything he wants, but he is still dissatisfied.” The reason for another quarrel can be anything, but most often it is unreasonable jealousy. Once this Moor even suspects an attempt at treason, a scandal is guaranteed. For such suspicions, you don’t need much; it’s enough to be half an hour late home or look in the direction of a member of the opposite sex passing by. And everything started to go. A jealous person is not shy in his expressions. All previous disagreements are remembered, reproaches flow as if from a cornucopia.

Many times my friend tried to break off this relationship, packed her bags, said that it was all over, but the end was always the same. She was returning. Moreover, she was always the first to call and apologize for her not “reasonable” behavior. And only after long apologies and tears shed into the telephone receiver did Othello allow her to come back.

“Well, now I’ve left, while I’m collecting my things and loading them into a taxi, I’m still somehow holding on. And I keep thinking, please, let him stop me, let him stop screaming, come up and hug me. Nadezhda lives to the last, but already in the taxi I understand that the miracle did not happen and I begin to cry. I come to my place, the tears are choking me so much that it’s hard to breathe. My hands are shaking, my head is pounding, my thoughts are confused. The first thing I do is check my landline phone to see if there are any missed calls, in case he called and wanted to make peace. No, there are no missing ones. Well, why doesn’t he call, maybe the mobile phone is dead - I check, no, the battery is fully charged. After all, he loves me, I know he definitely does. Then why does he make me suffer so much? Does he really not understand how I suffer?

I sit in the dark and cry, I don’t have the strength to turn on the light. I surrounded myself with phones and waited. Well, now a familiar melody will be heard. A minute, five minutes, fifteen, half an hour, an hour... Silence... I no longer have the strength to cry. Resentment, primarily towards myself, settled in my heart like a nasty slimy toad. Why did I leave, because I knew that this would happen, I knew that I couldn’t cope with myself again. Yes, he is not restrained, he is quick-tempered, but I love him. I feel good only next to him. He is my drug and without another dose, withdrawal occurs. It's all my fault. Why doesn't he call?

I can’t stand it any longer... I dial the cherished number. Tears treacherously roll from your eyes, your voice trembles, your words are confused... Are you already asleep? Sorry for waking you up... And in general, I’m sorry, I feel bad without you, take me away. Oh yes, you’ve already gone to bed... You don’t mind, I’ll come myself... You’ll meet me... It’s cold and I don’t want to go out... Let me come and transport your things tomorrow...

The toad crawled away, my heart was calm again. I take a toothbrush and call a taxi. It's funny, the same taxi driver who took me here arrived. But I don’t care, what he thinks, I don’t care that I’m all swollen from tears. I felt incredible fatigue throughout my whole body, strangely I didn’t feel it when I was carrying bags and when I was sitting alone in the dark. I'm ashamed of myself, I'm a wimp, but I can't do it any other way. Perhaps someday, but not today I will have enough strength to walk this path to the end. And today I am happy, because we are together again. What a joy it is to fall asleep next to him.”

What to do with sick love?

No one has the right to judge this girl. After all, no one blames people who have the flu. And in this case, love is akin to a disease, unfortunately, incurable. There is no pill you can take and wake up in the morning healthy and free from such feelings. Nadya is not alone in her illness; there are many like her. I don’t want to comment on this guy’s behavior, I don’t want to find out the reasons for this behavior. This is a topic for a separate article.

I am more interested in what girls who find themselves in such a situation should do. Some, voluntarily, like masochists, torment themselves with such relationships day after day. But there are also those who want to break away from such a life. Those who understand that they have become dependent, that they can no longer live like this, but are unable to change anything. Yes, we love bad guys, but we can't stand living with them. Most likely, such a relationship will lead to nervous exhaustion and a bunch of real illnesses to boot. But if you understand that you cannot leave forever, do not make desperate attempts to move your wardrobe to another place, this will not help, but will only amuse the tormentor. And I would like to wish Nadezhda to find the strength to leave and walk this path to the end.

Lesson summary

in literary reading

2nd grade in teaching materials Planet of Knowledge

date:

Teacher: Shaikhutdinova A.M.

Subject: Apart is bad, together is good. Mordovian folk tale.

Lesson type: learning new material.

Lesson objectives:

Educational:

continue to get acquainted with the folk art of our Motherland.

Educational:

expand students’ knowledge about professions;

develop expressive, fluent reading skills, and the ability to work with text;

enrich vocabulary;

develop the ability to analyze the actions of heroes;

show the relationship between the actions of the main characters.

Educational:

cultivate respect for your family, working people, and the ability to make friends.

Lesson stage

Content

Activity

teacher

Children’s activities, planned personal results - L, cognitive - P, regulatory - R, communicative - K,

subject – PR

1

2

3

4

Organizing time

General readiness of children for the lesson.

Checking readiness.

The bell rang loudly

The lesson begins.

The eyes are wide open.

We listen, we remember,

We don't waste a minute.

Today we have an unusual meeting. First, let's smile at each other. Turn to me and give me your smile. After all, a smile beautifies a person and gives everyone a mood of joy. We will only need this mood for work today.

Reaction to teacher, guests

Stage I

before reading

1. The appearance of the lesson topic.

2. Anticipation of reading (prediction of upcoming reading)

3. The appearance of lesson goals.

Carrying out vocabulary work.

Patter:

Three magpies - three rattles
Lost three brushes each:
Three - today
Three - yesterday
Three - the day before yesterday.

What number was repeated in the tongue twister?

Does this number remind you of anything? SLIDE

What work did you learn about in the last lesson?

What do you remember about her?

Today in class we will get acquainted with another folk art.

Look at the slides. In the central European part of our Russia there lives a wise people - the Mordovians. They live together, and guests are always greeted with bread and salt. And they tell good stories to their guests. And in our book the Mordvinian fairy tale “Apart is bad, together is good” received an honorable place.
-It was not in vain that I offered you a tongue twister with the number three.

Remember, fairy tales often say that old people had three sons. For example: Ershov’s fairy tale “The Little Humpbacked Horse” begins with the words

An old man lived in a village.

The old lady has three sons:

The eldest was a smart kid,

Middle son and this way and that,

The younger one was completely stupid.

The Bashkir fairy tale “Kurai” also talks about three sons:

One day the khan called the son of some poor old men to his place. They had three sons.

And the Nenets fairy tale is called “Three Sons”.

Who are we going to read a fairy tale about today?

That's right, about three sons.

Let's do some vocabulary work first. What do the words mean:

Carpenter, harrow, dam, anvil?

slides

Are these items needed today?

We have explained the words. After we read the fairy tale, you will learn even more about who needs a harrow and an anvil.

Health preservation, training of the articulatory apparatus.

K – the ability to listen and evaluate a friend’s answer.

Marking circles

Red – 5

Green - 4

PR – examination of the portrait of the writer

P – ability to identify an object based on general characteristics

RP – reading the title, looking at the illustrations to the text. Based on the title and illustration, children make guesses about the content of the text.

Explanation of unclear words.

R – acceptance of the lesson goals, readiness to read and discuss the text.

P stage while reading

1. Primary reading.

2. Checking the mastery of the content.

3. Dynamic pause.

4. Re-reading the text.

Reading the text in a chain of paragraphs (aloud).

Did you like this fairy tale?

How did you feel while reading?

What did the brothers often quarrel about? (Over water)

Why did they not have enough water? (on hot days the water in the river dried up)

Who got the water? (Who got up early)

How much did the brothers quarrel?

Everyone lives on their own, they don’t want to know each other anymore. What quality of a person is being talked about here? (About pride)

Why didn’t they succeed? (Everyone lost something. They couldn’t do their job.)

What helped the brothers come to an agreement? (It began to rain.)

Who suggested ponding the pond?

How did they start living? (..amicable, good, helping each other)

Did they understand that living together was good?

Prove that together is better? (When we are together, we can do everything. When we are together, things go well.)

What words did the fairy tale end with?

(It's good to live together. Living apart is bad!)

Explain how these words are related to the story of the brothers?

- Now we will re-read this text again.

-What kind of work do you think we should do with the text?

Yes, we will need to divide the text into parts and select headings, and, of course, we will learn expressive reading.

Who would you tell the story to?

To make it interesting to listen to you, we will prepare a retelling according to plan.

1 part. "There lived three brothers"

How did they live? (In a quarrel, not friendly, bad)

Part 2. “One day the brothers had a big fight.”

What did they say to each other?

How did they start living? (Everyone lives on their own.)

How long or were they able to live without each other?

Part 3. "The summer was dry"

What happened during the dry summer? (read out)

Were the brothers able to cope with the disaster alone?

Part 4 "It started raining"

What did the rain bring to the old people? (Joy)

How did the blacksmith try to collect water? (Read)

What did the Old Men understand?

Part 5. "It's good to live together."

Why is it good to live together?

When did they succeed?

Are all professions important in the world?

Can they get along without each other?

What other proverbs do you know about the fact that together is better?

“Together is not burdensome, but at least apart. Take it together - it won't be too heavy. The world is not nice when there is no friend. Alone in the field is not a warrior. You can’t tie a knot with one hand.”

Who noticed how our plan is unusual?

(each point of the plan is headed by a line from the text)

This is a quotation plan.

R, PR – independent monitoring, listening.

L – the presence of a primary emotional reaction to the text, its adequacy to the text. The ability to express your feelings and thoughts.

P – checking your assumptions about the content and characters of the text, reflection.

- Why was the forecast inaccurate?

L – emotional experience

P, PR - the ability to answer the teacher’s questions based on the text, to argue your point of view.

K - showing attention to the judgments of comrades, the desire to find and guess the author’s clues in the text.

LK – ability to cooperate in pairs

K – control of partner’s behavior, interaction

P – modeling, working with the circuit

Reflection

Grade

Homework

I suggest you answer the questions of a small questionnaire. You will write down the answers for me on paper. Mark the number 1 on the paper. Opposite this number you write the letter of the correct answer.

So, pay attention to the board.

Question 1:
The fairy tale “Apart is bad, together is good” is a fairy tale:

A) magical;

B) household;

C) about animals.

Question 2

Professions of old people

A) fisherman, hunter, plowman;

B) plowman, blacksmith, fisherman;

C) plowman, blacksmith, carpenter.

Question 3

The old men were quarreling:

A) Because of water;

B) because of the earth;

C) because of the fish.

Question 4

They lived apart:

A) hungry;

B) cold;

C) bad.

Question 5

Families began to live:

A) friendly;

B) bad;

C) apart,

What conclusion can be drawn from the fairy tale read?

(that we need to live together. If only the brothers in the family are together, they will have everything, everything will work out))

How do you evaluate your work in class?

How are you feeling after the lesson?

Choose a picture that matches your mood.

What grade would you give yourself for your work in class?

Optionally

Prepare to read a fairy tale by role-playing.

And for those who want to get another A, I suggest completing task 5 on page 70 of the textbook (read out)

P, PR – ability to answer teacher’s questions based on the text, level of independence of work.

L - assessment and reflection of one’s own and collective activities

Leave this devil alone.

The master was killed. After a long time I had to fight with bars and snakes. And yet the people won.

Misha and Varya began to live their share, give birth to children and love each other.

Plowman, blacksmith and carpenter

Once upon a time there lived three brothers in the neighborhood: a plowman, a blacksmith and a carpenter. There was no harmony between them. They will start quarreling and getting angry at each other over a trifle.

In the summer, the water in the river dried up - a chicken couldn’t get a drink. A little will leak into the recess; whoever comes early in the morning will scoop up all the water with a ladle into a bucket, but there will be no left for others. The wives go out into the street and ask each other:

Who bailed out the water?

One will say - not me, the other - not me. Word for word, and a cry began.

The old people will come out to appease. At first they laugh at each other, and then, like wives, they begin to quarrel.

One day we had a complete quarrel.

“I won’t give you bread, you’ll die of hunger,” says the plowman.

The blacksmith shouts:

I won’t straighten your braids, I won’t sharpen your sickles, reap the harvest with your teeth. Come to me with a bow!

The carpenter shouts:

And if the houses rot, you will freeze like cockroaches without me. If the plow breaks, I won’t do it.

The brothers separated. They live separately.

First, the carpenter ran out of bread. He doesn't go to the plowman. He brought a rotten linden tree from the forest. The wife began to knead together with the leaves. They ate and ate - there was no strength. We lost weight, only bones remained.

The blacksmith made a gun and went into the forest to kill crows. And he also doesn’t go to the plowman for bread.

The summer was dry. All three huts burned down from the fire. The brothers had nothing left.

What to do? The carpenter found an ax in the ashes and began to chop down the frame. He hit a gnarled tree and the ax broke. The carpenter left him and went with his wife to grieve.

A farmer went out to sow winter crops - there was no arc and the plow was broken. He also went with his wife to grieve.

A blacksmith came to the forge with a hammer, waited, waited - no one came. He looks at the door - it’s raining. The blacksmith was delighted. He stood up in the rain, took off his hat and stood there.

A carpenter approached him and asked:

What are you doing, brother?

The blacksmith answers:

I collect rain to grow rye.

The carpenter also took off his hat and stood next to him in the rain. The plowman approached them and asked:

What are you doing, brothers?

We collect rain to grow rye.

The plowman stood next to him and took off his hat.

Three brothers stood there and thought of one thing. Plowman says:

Let's go ponder.

The three brothers set to work together. The river was soon dammed and a mill was made. The fish were released into the pond. The blacksmith adjusted the scythes and ploughshares. The farmer sowed grain. The carpenter made a big house for everyone. They began to live together. Now they live - you can’t spill water on them.

Separately is bad, together is good.

UNBRAVED LOOT

Once upon a time there lived a soldier, his name was Ivan. For five years he suffered in the tsar's service: he was beaten, put in a punishment cell, and marched through the ranks. Ivan came home - there was no yard or entryway, there was only one hut and a chicken and a rooster were walking around.

Ivan lived a day. It was time to get to work, but there was nothing to wear. Ivan went into the forest, tore the bast, came home and began to weave bast shoes. He wove one bast shoe, began to weave another, and suddenly the headman knocked on the window and shouted:

Hey Ivan, get ready!

“I don’t have time to get ready,” Ivan answered, “I need to weave a bast shoe.”

Hey! Don't dodge! - the headman shouted. - Now we have no time for bast shoes, the enemy is threatening to destroy the Tsar-Father, so go defend him. It’s impossible without you!

Ivan threw the half-woven bast shoe under the bench and began to get ready. “If such an order, you can’t run away anywhere. If you don’t go kindly, they’ll drag you by force.” Ivan said goodbye to his family and went to war.

Ivan sits in the trenches - tired and hungry - and thinks: “When the war ends, I’ll return home, weave a bast shoe and work on my farm.”

And the war continues. A year has passed, a second and a third are coming... In the fourth year, all the people rose up. The king was overthrown. The generals, landowners and capitalists were driven out and Soviet power was proclaimed. “Well,” thinks Ivan, “now I’ll probably finish weaving my bast shoe.” But it didn’t work out again. The young Soviet government was attacked by enemies: unfinished officers, the British, Kolchak, Denikin, Wrangel - and you can’t count them all. Ivan took a rifle in his hands and went to the Red Army to defend Soviet power. “The bast shoe can wait,” thinks Ivan.

Ivan fought heroically on all fronts and returned home with the Order of the Red Banner. The wife and children were happy, the villagers congratulated Ivan.

Hello!
I don’t even know where to start, to be honest, I’ll try to describe the situation from the very beginning.
My boyfriend and I have been together for two years now (with short breaks), he is 10 years older than me. When I met him, I thought he was an adult, sensible man, now I think differently... A month later he proposed to me. He has never been married (he is 34 years old), I was married for 3 years before him. At first everything was fine, just perfect, it was pure happiness for the first six months. Then the reproaches began. Now I’ll try to describe the main problems, as I think:
1. Furious jealousy! He reproaches me for being with my husband to this day! Like that's a terrible thing to do! And the worst thing is that, following his example, I began to be jealous!
2. He doesn’t let me go anywhere, if I go to socialize with friends (and they are also 10 years younger than him and, therefore, he is not interested in them), I always go and get drunk
3. Sometimes he doesn’t consider it necessary to answer me or tell me something. At first I thought that he simply didn’t care, but having gotten to know him enough, I realized that he is generally a man of few words, his parents or relatives generally live in ignorance, he simply does not consider it necessary to answer any questions, his relatives are used to it, but I I can’t do that. I am in a constant state of uncertainty, it makes me hysterical.
4. He perceives any requests (such as please wipe the table) as a reproach, I can’t improve our life together, since he doesn’t listen to my requests at all, or reacts to them too rudely, or doesn’t take note at all, and I suffer because I'm not comfortable with this. We also don’t consider it necessary to buy groceries, we just live with my grandmother, I don’t feel sorry, but I feel very uncomfortable in front of her.
5. If we swear, this is a terrible sight, and we swear constantly very angrily and very sarcasticly, and not one of us listens to each other! He can squeeze me or insult me, I, in turn, do the same, only I don’t directly insult, I touch where it hurts. I don’t know how to make sure that he hears my requests, when I say that I feel bad, he says that he doesn’t know why I was hysterical, because everything is fine! She says that I’m just hysterical and came up with it myself
In general, etc. There are so many such moments, the list can be endless. We broke up many times, if we take long periods - we broke up twice for a period of one month, and each of us started a new serious relationship, but we could not break up completely. Now we have already decided that we will be together, no matter what happens, but I am not comfortable and feel bad, I cry constantly, but I can’t live without him. And he has the same situation. In general, this is a constant hassle, and there is nothing we can do.
There are also material issues, he doesn’t spend any money on me at all, he doesn’t even spend on living together or food, on my needs.. He never asks if I need anything, from clothes, cosmetics.. And I would really like that I wanted to.
I want a normal family, peace of mind. I want children in a year or two, but I understand that with this person I won’t be able to start a family. I understand that this is a utopia. How can I make him hear me? I understand that it is impossible to change a person, I also understand that he is used to doing this and will not want to change, but I cannot live like this, and such a relationship does not suit me.
Please help, I don’t know how clearly I described the situation, but my life is full of nerves, tears and hysterics.
Thanks in advance.