“50 facts about men” is gaining popularity on the Internet. I won’t say that I am vehemently against this collection of stereotypes; besides, as stated, all the facts are confirmed by tests. Let's try to figure out if all this is true from the point of view of an ordinary young man (me). My opinion, although subjective, is more real than that of the “conditional man surveyed.”

1. A man will cook himself only as a last resort.

Not true. Many men, including me, love to cook. Provided that there is someone to appreciate the next culinary masterpiece. It happens that you are too lazy to cook just for yourself and you can get by with a couple of sandwiches or a snack in a cafe - but this is rather the exception.

2. More than half of bachelors under 27 live with their parents

Some of my single acquaintances actually live with their parents - but not because of convenience, but because of the complexity of the “housing issue”. It is very important for a man to feel independent, and it is easier to realize this if you live in a separate, even rented, apartment. Although there are exceptions.

3. If you buy your boyfriend a video or photo camera, don’t forget to close the bathroom door afterwards. Otherwise, it may end in a cry of surprise, splashes and a damaged camera

I don’t think anyone would film a woman in the shower without permission. You can make a game out of this, a surprise, but be sure to discuss this possibility from the beginning.

By the way, guys are usually very picky when choosing a camera and prefer to buy such things themselves.

4. Most guys think the best age to get married is 25-30 years old, but more than 50% get married earlier

Life dictates its own rules, but marriages that are too early are more at risk.

5. Guys are more concentrated than girls (a favorite activity, an important report can take all their attention)

Not true. It all depends on the specific person and situation. It happens that I cannot concentrate on the task at hand for several days, and sometimes I complete the work accumulated over the week overnight. Everything is individual.

6. More than 50% of men declare their preferences regarding female beauty (hair color, figure), although in fact they may like girls of many different types

Yes it's true. Only appearance does not always play a key role.

7. Online shopping is more often practiced by single guys

I have and still regard online shopping as a means to inexpensively buy something that for some reason cannot be bought in a regular store. I ordered branded items and equipment a couple of times. It cannot be said that the change in marital status changed anything.

8. More than 66% of bachelors dream of finding their one and only

I won’t speak for everyone, but I think this is the dream of most single people.

9. Athletic guys are more likely to have short, easy relationships than guys with average figures.

It's not about appearance, but about the person himself. Guys with an athletic figure receive increased attention, perhaps they are spoiled by flirting, but the key role is played by upbringing and character, including that of the other half.

10. The experience of most men before entering into a long-term relationship is 4-6 girls (and not 50-100, as they can brag to friends)

Exaggeration of one's love exploits should end with adolescence. If this does not happen, there are obvious problems with self-esteem.

11. When guys hold their thumbs on the waistband of their pants, it means they subconsciously want to attract girls' attention.

Guys probably always subconsciously want to attract the attention of girls. But a thumb behind a belt is just a thumb behind a belt. There is no need to look for a secret meaning in everything. Perhaps the person is uncomfortable, confused and does not know where to put his hands, and keeping them in his pockets is indecent .

12. Never allow yourself to teach a guy in public. This can be done in private. In public they KNOW what to do.

13. Balding men are more likely to wear baseball caps.

A baseball cap is quite comfortable, but it's not often suitable even for street style, so probably not.

14. If a guy likes a girl, he will definitely call within a couple of days

Provided that he is not shy and considers himself an interesting conversationalist... and see below:

15. More than 62% of men will be happy if a girl takes the initiative during dating.

And not only dating, but also during the first call and the first meeting. And I'm not kidding.

16. If a guy offers you a drink, then it’s likely that he’s waiting for more....

...or he is uncomfortable and is trying to overcome uncertainty and embarrassment, and drinking on a date alone is more than bad form.

17. All men don’t like the phrase “we need to talk,” no matter what we talk about next.

Yes, I can’t think of a more terrible phrase. I can immediately imagine the worst.

18. Men are sensitive in their own way too.

Definitely.

19. Guys are brave enough to go to war, but are hardly capable of undergoing hair removal.

All due to poorer pain tolerance. Long-term unpleasant sensations are extremely difficult to endure. So it's very plausible.

20. All guys think they're nice

Yes, but self-criticism and self-examination are also not alien to us, however, usually this is not made public, but is securely hidden in our thoughts.

21. For most guys, a beautiful face may be more important than a toned figure.

This is everyone's personal preference. Everything is individual.

22. Most guys call more often than send texts or letters.

Is it true. I don’t like SMS and use them only if I can’t get through on the phone or if the person is unpleasant to me.

23. Men love respectable things (just like women), such as fashionable phones, expensive jackets, ties

Absolutely right. But in addition to stylish things, we can afford to go out in sportswear or whatever comes to hand. Women are usually more selective when it comes to clothing.

24. Guys don't take their clothing choices as seriously as girls.

Yes, if it’s not a business meeting, but, for example, a trip to the supermarket. In other cases, men also want to look stylish and beautiful. Well, it should be noted that we become more attached to things, which is why it can be so difficult to part with old shoes or a jacket.

25. Most men hate shopping.

No one has any dislike for the stores themselves; most hate the need for a long time choosing clothes, trying them on and everything connected with it.

26. If a man has prepared dinner for you, then he has serious intentions.

He definitely wants to impress you, he definitely likes you. But a chop with vegetables is not a marriage proposal, it is simply a demonstration of your culinary talents in anticipation of praise.

27. Many guys don’t mind finding an older girl.

This fact is also from the category of “everyone’s personal business.”

28. More than 30% of guys do not delete their ex’s phone number from their mobile phone

This is usually not associated with a desire to pursue a romantic relationship at any time in the future. It’s just that a person can be useful in the professional sphere, especially if the separation was by mutual consent and without quarrels.

29. A quarter of guys would rather lie if the truth might hurt.

Yes, perhaps that's true.

30. When four men get together, they talk about sports.

Not necessary. Many men don’t follow sports news, and aren’t there enough events in the world that are worthy of discussion?

31. When four or more girls get together, they talk about men.

I hope only good things!

32. Guys get married again after a divorce much faster than women.

I think that psychologically it is more difficult for us to remain alone.

33. Men are less sentimental than women

This is definitely not the case. Many people really care about the main characters of books and films.

34. More than 33% of single men believe that love at first sight exists

I don’t think so, unless we’re talking about a slight crush, which can later develop into a stronger feeling.

35. If a man promised to call a girl and didn’t call, this does not mean that he lost his phone number or forgot, he just didn’t want to

Most likely this is true. If you didn’t call, it means you didn’t want to. However, he could have lost it. Our memory is a mystery even to us.

36. Guys hate losing

Especially when it happens in public. It’s easier to cope with a loss if no one knows about it.

37. Guys like it when a girl has her own opinion

Yes, if it coincides with his opinion. Although, on the contrary, many people like to argue.

38. The younger the guy, the more impulsive his actions are.

In most cases, this is true. We've all done stupid things at some point.

39. Men accept compliments more joyfully than women. Perhaps because they are told them less often

A kind word also pleases the cat. Men are no exception; any praise or compliment makes them happy and lifts their spirits.

40. Men don't tend to talk about their sex lives with their friends.

Unless they want to brag about some achievement. Indeed, no one talks about problems, only about victories.

41. Most guys tidy up their bed before their first date.

In general, making the bed should be a daily ritual, but at least this way...

42. Sexy lingerie on a beautiful girl excites guys much more than just a naked beauty

It's interesting when there is some kind of mystery.

43. More than a third of men have deceived their significant other at least once.

The rest simply lied on the questionnaire.

44. Men are often confident because they grew up identifying with superheroes. Women often have complexes because they grew up watching Barbie.

Perhaps the reason for the complexes may be dissatisfaction with one's appearance. Men are much more relaxed about the emerging bald spot and beer belly. Identifying oneself with heroes is nothing more than a myth.

45. Guys prefer to take a phone number but not leave theirs.

The usual selfish desire to control everything. If you wanted to, you called, if you didn’t want to, you didn’t call.

46. ​​The ratio of available guys to girls is 12 to 10, that is, it’s easier for girls to find love

It's hard to argue with statistics.

47. Men, unlike women, forget everything - both good and bad.

Absolutely true. The expression “male memory” should become a household word. How many women have you seen in a store with a shopping list?

48. Single guys are more likely to wear clothes or tattoos that help them express themselves

In my opinion, expressing oneself through shocking behavior is typical only in adolescence. In adulthood, this is already a conscious choice, style or even way of life.

49 . Single guys care more about what their friends think than guys in relationships.

Yes, this is partly true. Priorities change, but it is still useful to listen to the advice of friends.

50. Many bachelors wear socks for two or more days in a row.

Oh God. I think the problem here is not a single lifestyle, but a disrespectful attitude towards oneself.

Photos used from the site: pesikot.net, fotki-img.yandex.ru

Culture

Why do men cheat on their wives and girlfriends? Take celebrities: personalities such as Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tom Cruise, Bruce Willis... They have everything - talent, fame, money and wonderful families. And at the same time, even such men manage to look for someone on the side. But why does this happen? What is the reason that men cheat? In fact, according to American psychologists, men give as many as nine most common answers to this question.

According to one Kat Hertlein, Ph.D. and professor of human development at the University of Nevada, approximately 40 percent of men cheat. Moreover, this indicator has not changed much since the 1950s, when one famous sociological study found that 50 percent of men cheat during approximately the same period of marriage. But why do they cheat?!

Why do men cheat? Expert opinion

According to David Buss, a psychology professor at the University of Texas, the number one reason is that men crave sexual variety. because they have developed a desire to be with different women. For men, even the process of reproduction itself seems much simpler (just one sexual act compared to nine months of pregnancy for women).

In fact, they are biologically programmed to leave as many offspring as possible, which requires mating with a large number of women. "The child was a kind of reward for short-term sexual intercourse, which was valued more highly by men than by women, says Bass. – Thus, after thousands of generations, the desire for sexual variety was deposited in the brains of men.".

Are there other reasons that can also be considered an important explanation for male infidelity? Men are simply unhappy with their chosen ones, and sex on the side is an easy and inexpensive pleasure, allowing, as they say, to while away the harsh and boring days, which men spend in an unhappy marriage. According to Professor Bass, this reason is one of the most common reasons for male infidelity.

However, let us return to the statement that the wives of famous husbands and men in power also very often face the fact that their chosen ones cheat on them. "Women are attracted to men who have power and status, since a public figure usually has many opportunities" , - Bass reveals a simple secret. However, it doesn’t matter whether your spouse is a born politician, a famous actor or an ordinary plumber - the reasons why all these people cheat are approximately the same.

According to Steve Santagati, author of popular publications in the West devoted to searching for the causes of male infidelity, ninety-nine percent of infidelity occur for one very simple reason - because of ordinary boredom! However, whatever the reason, men are awarded a very unflattering name for this - male. However, let’s give the “dogs” themselves a chance to justify themselves by listening to their opinion on the nine most common explanations for the reasons for betrayal.

Why do men cheat? The opinion of the men themselves

1. She's not the same person she used to be.

An ordinary average man is no better or worse than the biblical character Adam - they are also unable to resist the temptation of the ripened fruit (especially if a woman whom men, in theory, should not cheat on, stops taking care of himself). “If she was so lazy that she gained extra weight, or if she simply didn’t take care of her appearance, it’s not surprising that a man looks at other women.”, says Santagati.

Santagati confirms the simple truth that a woman who wants to keep a man on a short leash is simply obliged to look at her reflection in the mirror more often and more closely. However, a man should do the same! After all, it often happens that a husband has long ago turned into a shapeless slug, and still continues to demand perfection from his other half! "It's a typical double standard", - Santagati is sure.

For their part, men need to make a certain effort in order to again try to rekindle the spark of a relationship at home, and not on the side. "Do this to make her feel lovely even if you have to lie , advises Santagati. – Tell her how beautiful she is and how much you appreciate this trait in her. This will make her feel sexy, and she will want you to feel happier too.".

Santagati believes that this attitude can lead to more desirable and enjoyable sex, which Sue Johnson, a professor of clinical psychology, agrees with. from the University of Ottawa, Canada. “Everything indicates that when a woman feels you are reliable and attentive, this will lead to a better relationship with her partner.”, - Professor Johnson confirms another hackneyed truth.

2. She has a grumpy personality

It’s probably hard to imagine what could literally push a married man into the arms of another woman faster than his own grumpy wife. "She's like an annoying mosquito , says Santagati. – He doesn't want to have sex with his wife, he would like to stay away from her altogether. And the most practical solution is sex with a more understanding woman.".

However, not all men agree with Santagati. A certain Steven Solomon, who is a Ph.D., calls this approach complete nonsense. "No woman does anything for which a cheating man could be forgiven. , - Solomon is sure. – No matter how the relationship develops, it is unlikely to be beneficial if in the end everything leads to adultery.".

3. She doesn't understand me!

Men who regularly cheat on their wives very often say that they do not feel understood by their significant other. However, according to Kat Hartlein, Women shouldn't always be blamed for this, since very often they are either too angry or simply afraid to make contact. Quite a strange attempt to justify such women, isn’t it? However, if you consider that it came from the lips of a woman...

“For men, it’s easier to try to organize a relationship on the side than to work on the relationship with your partner, says Hartlein. – We often see this kind of “triangulation”. The deep-seated fear of close intimacy is difficult for men to overcome. And it’s much easier for them to start cheating again. Hartlein is sure that in this situation there is no more effective way than visiting a psychologist. I wonder what the professor could advise those couples in this situation who would never be dragged into a therapist’s office?

4. Cheating turns you on...

Many men who like to go to the left very often become victims of their own desire to tickle their nerves, feel the risk, play with fire... They like to do it, and no one forces them! "This adds a certain level of risk , explains Santagati, - and this risk adds excitement". However, if we follow such reasoning, is anything capable of stopping such a man, since he firmly intends to go to the left?

Psychologists believe that wives need to maintain a kind of mystery, maintaining the spark of sexual life in the family. In fact, any woman is capable of maintaining this flame in such a way that no man would want to cheat on her. However, according to Santagati, many men also cheat out of fear, loneliness or aggression. “The cheating partner does not cope with these feelings, which leads him to infidelity.”, he says. I wonder what the professor means?..

5. On the side, like on a hunt!

It often happens that married men who cheat on their wives cannot even really explain why they do it. At the same time, with enviable tenacity and constancy, they spend a lot of time and effort every day searching for something new. In fact, this is akin to the ancient instinct when a man played the role of a hunter and gatherer - after all, this is the role that many who like to go left now play, the role of a hunter and gatherer of women.

"Perhaps such a man married too early, suggests Santagati. – Or it seems to him that he has not tried everything yet". Women can protect themselves from such relationships, if they can recognize similar behavior of their boyfriend. Fortunately for young ladies who do not listen too closely to other people’s advice and the voice of reason, there are several ways to recognize a “male”.

Santagati is confident that any woman is able to see through such a womanizer by carefully observing how a man behaves, being, for example, in a room where there are many very attractive and spectacular women. If a girl fails, as they say, to throw the reins on her boyfriend at the very beginning of a romantic acquaintance, there is little chance that you will be able to do this later. "The first three months are the most revealing", says Santagati.

6. It’s all a call of nature, honey...

"It's our biological nature to be with as many women as possible.", states Santagati. – If we have seen a woman naked several times, it becomes commonplace for us. And it doesn't matter how beautiful your body is- we get used to it and want to experience something new: new lips, a different figure... We are monogamous only because we realize that love and friendship are more important things than a casual relationship on the side".

However, Juliet Williams, an assistant professor at the University of California at Los Angeles, completely disagrees with this statement. "Even the largest number of male infidelities does not matter- this is still not a biologically determined phenomenon, she said. – There is still a large percentage of men who are monogamous.".

It’s hard to say whether it’s evolution, biology, or just the pursuit of new sensations, but experts who study the phenomenon of adultery agree that men really tend to look for different sexual partners. However, no one dared to say that this process is entirely controlled by men. In other words, the stronger sex is quite capable of taking control of this process and not changing it.

"Most men do not follow their desires for the simple reason that they do not want to jeopardize their social status, reputation or their marriage, - says Professor Bass from the University of Texas. – Even one of the former US presidents, Jimmy Carter, for example, said in one of his interviews that he also has lust in his heart, however, as far as we know, he never followed her lead.".

7. It's just sex and nothing more!

For most men, sex and love are two completely different things. “We actually believe that we can love our spouse and still desire sex with other women. We separate the two in our brains" , - Santagati is sure. It is this simple division of concepts that allows men to easily cheat on their wives without feeling any sense of guilt. However, there is one exception.

“Any feeling of guilt that a man may experience after sex is not due to the fact of sex itself, but to the possible consequences, says Santagati. – Will she continue to obsessively pursue him? Will the wife find out anything? If a man is inclined towards monogamous relationships, he will ask himself the main question before cheating: is it worth it? He must be able to imagine the worst case scenario, which is that his wife finds out and it breaks her heart. Is it worth it?"

8. Not today, honey, not today...

Let's face the truth. As a rule, men need sex more often than women. And if their wives, tired of caring for children and doing housework during the day, are not at all inclined to experiment, then even the most understanding hubby will get bored and start looking to the left. And simply more sexually active men who have not found a suitable partner will also continue to search after marriage. We are talking about the incompatibility of their sexual activity.

9. I change because I can!

As Porthos from The Three Musketeers said - "I fight because I fight!" So for us men, it is often extremely difficult to avoid the temptation to rush... no, not into a fight, but into the bosom of debauchery, especially if this temptation is so accessible! In addition, thanks to the development of modern technologies (mainly the Internet), it has become easy for men to cheat literally every minute!

Yes, yes, men cheat all the time - while browsing some website on their laptop, or staring at the TV - and they can do it next to their sleeping wife! "We do not mean contact at the genital level,” Hartlein clarifies. “Betrayal is anything that can break a hole in a relationship, including flirting, sexual communication online, and keeping secrets from your spouse.” Well, it looks like cheating is not something that happens to a man , but what happens in his brain!

Betrayal is a terrible blow, comparable only to the death of a loved one. It is very difficult to get over it, much less forgive it. Few people have the strength to continue a relationship with a person who betrayed them. After all, it is impossible to understand how a man who recently swore his love could betray the one who believed him and entrusted her heart. There is an opinion that all men cheat, so you shouldn’t worry so much about this, but it’s best to come to terms with this state of affairs. But is this really so or is this one of the myths invented by the stronger sex to justify their behavior?

Cheating statistics

To make it easier to answer the question: “Do all men cheat?”, it is best to turn to national statistics, although it would not hurt to study the results of foreign ones. After all, this will make it possible to find out whether the well-known “polygamy” really exists, or is it needed only to justify the infidelity of representatives of the stronger half of humanity, and also whether it depends on the place of birth and residence or is inherent exclusively to the stronger sex.

American data

In some data devoted to the study of problems of fidelity among young people, the percentage of men who cheat sometimes reaches 70%.

How are things going in Russia?

In the Russian Federation, the numbers are much more pleasant: out of 100 families, men cheated in 25. According to scientists, this is due to a stronger commitment to family values, which is not at all difficult to verify if you study modern American TV series, especially those released since the beginning of 2014.

Japan is the most faithful country

Japan belongs to the countries with the highest percentage of loyal partners. Men cheat here extremely rarely, which is again due to the national mentality. Therefore, the number of sexually transmitted diseases, HIV and AIDS among the Japanese population is the lowest among all countries in the world.

UK's unexpected findings

British scientists did not limit themselves to just statistical research; they went even further, deciding to study how the statistics of male infidelity might change over time. And they came to disappointing conclusions: the percentage of faithful and unfaithful men will only increase over the decades. And the main reason for this, in their opinion, is the growth of financial security and education. Sociologists from Great Britain are convinced that a highly educated man is more susceptible to the desire to cheat, but those who studied poorly, on the contrary, are the most faithful partners. There is no consensus on why this happens, but scientists tend to believe that it is due to a broader outlook on life, lifestyle and higher financial capabilities.

Why do men cheat?

Modern scientists from around the world have come to the conclusion that a man’s desire to change is an integral trait of a person’s character. They explain this by saying that a person is a biological being who needs to be polygamous to satisfy his own instincts, which is the answer to the question “why do men cheat.” But this does not mean that representatives of the stronger half of humanity are not able to cope with themselves. What distinguishes humans from animals is the ability to empathize, have compassion, and bear responsibility for a loved one. There are legends about swan fidelity; is a person really not able to cope with his instincts, with his mind, the capabilities of which are not even known yet?

What to do?

An excellent way to avoid male infidelity is to look for new activities that will help a person realize himself. After all, another distinctive feature of modern man is the ability to use unspent sexual energy, mixed with the desire for novelty, so to speak, for peaceful purposes, for self-development and achieving set goals.

Sociologists also note that the risk of male infidelity in the modern world has increased, thanks to the emancipation in relationships between men and women. For centuries, taboos and religious prohibitions forced people to suppress their deepest instincts, but now such a deterrent does not exist. But today it helps to understand that a person is able to fight desires if he has a sufficient level of education, culture, and most importantly, he has desire and willpower.

Which men are faithful

Judging by the statistics, in the countries of the former USSR there are more men who do not cheat on their wives; in the countries of Europe and North America the situation is worse, but psychologists have been able to find several types of men to whom cheating is alien everywhere. Let's figure out which men don't cheat?

Adherents of exact sciences do not change

Representatives of the strong half of humanity who have received professions related to accounting, mathematics, physics and almost all the exact sciences. There is only one explanation for this - their heads are occupied with science and calculations, which require impeccable accuracy and a responsible approach. On the one hand, they simply have no time, and on the other, the qualities that allowed them to get such a job distinguish faithful people who know how to take responsibility.

Men's thoughts about health prevent cheating

Men who are attentive to their health will not risk it for the sake of fleeting pleasure with a new partner. They value constancy, reliability and security in relationships, which only his woman can give him.

Men with low testosterone levels

Representatives of the stronger half of humanity, who are overweight and have a high-pitched voice, have less testosterone than those who are underweight or at ideal weight. A large amount of this substance makes men less responsible, because their appetite for risk is also increased.

Responsible and decent men do not cheat

Men who are distinguished by high responsibility, and simply those who can be safely called well-mannered and decent. It is beyond their dignity to hurt others, especially the woman they love, whom they adore, value and respect. What distinguishes them from other representatives of the opposite sex is respect for women. They will never allow themselves to insult or humiliate her. Treason for such men is also impossible because it would be betrayal of oneself.

Monogamous people don't cheat

Men who can safely be classified as monogamous do not cheat. They have no need to look for another woman, they have met their soul mate, the one and only, who made them the happiest.

Love for children prevents cheating

Men who adore their children would never risk their happiness for the sake of even the most beautiful woman. The opportunity to be close to them, to raise them and educate them, to protect and teach them, is the greatest pleasure in the world for them, and if he has not stopped loving his wife, who gave him heirs, why should he ruin the life of himself and his loved ones. Such a man is an ideal teacher and example for his children. He will never allow his kids to be taught anything dirty and bad. He is an exemplary father.

Happy men

At the end of this list are faithful men who took a responsible approach to choosing a life partner, or those who were lucky enough to quickly meet their love. Happiness has already come to their home, the main thing is that the fair sex herself does not miss it.

Is your loved one cheating?

Before trying to understand whether your man falls into the percentage of cheating statistics that includes those who can cheat, or whether you are lucky and your loved one belongs to those who are not prone to cheating, it is more correct to pay attention to the important point “How betrayal begins."

If a man can cheat, and a woman stops carefully taking care of herself exactly from the moment when they have lived together for some time, very soon he will be drawn to adventure. It’s not for nothing that there is a proverb: “Women love with their ears, and men with their eyes.” Therefore, in order not to take risks and not to calculate the probability of whether the chosen one is faithful or not, it is better, even for yourself, to pay attention to yourself. Remember, most divorces happen when a couple has lived together for 4 years. This means that it is safer to reduce your household load than to give up taking care of yourself. Men cheat if they are not happy with their woman, be it in appearance or behavior. Take care of yourself, watch your attitude towards a man. Be beautiful and attentive, and then your loved one will definitely not look to the left.

Whatever happens, remember that any problems that arise in a person’s life are within his power. Everyone is capable of enduring the most difficult trials if they do not forget that they are responsible for themselves and for those around them. You cannot lose faith in yourself if your loved one has cheated, and even more so, be upset in advance that all men are the same. There are too many myths in our lives that have nothing to do with reality. Why ruin your life because of them? Value yourself, your family, do not let bad thoughts prevent you from enjoying your personal relationships, because how your life will turn out depends only on you.

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Men, especially losers, really want to believe this statement. And they like to intimidate inexperienced girls with this. At the dawn of my youth, when I got married for the first time in rosy dreams, my mother-in-law tried to convince me of this. After six months of a stormy marriage, it began to dawn on me that this was not the hero of my novel and that such a stormy married life would soon drive me crazy. There was love and an extravaganza of emotions, his constant cheerful sprees, clarification of relationships with quarrels, stormy reconciliations and a completely destructive life. My mother-in-law, seeing my tossing and trying to get out of this nightmare, often advised me: “Don’t make hasty conclusions, everything will work out, the next man will be worse - you’ll regret it.”

I got divorced and have no regrets! I came to my senses from this horror after about a year and a half and worked on my mistakes forever. And it’s so serious that I won’t let such idiots near me ever again. The first husband was not even close to the current one. I learned to use my head, something I didn’t have in my first marriage due to youthful carelessness.

Therefore, the statement that each subsequent man will be worse than the previous one is complete nonsense, invented, as I said above, by losers or women who suffer all their lives with bad husbands and are afraid to change something. But this is not about us, is it? The main thing is to remember a few rules:

Start with yourself

Usually, during a separation or divorce, HE is to blame for everything. But we ourselves chose “this most terrible person in the world”? So, something about him caught our attention? You will have to delve into yourself and find this something, so as not to fall into the network of exactly the same type again, with the same traits and habits. And then again be disappointed in him and look for someone to blame.

Don't do anything to spite your ex.

Sometimes we start a new relationship out of a kind of revenge, in a swift attempt to prove something to ourselves or our ex-spouse, to show everyone our relevance and attractiveness, “so that he understands who he has lost!” An intermediate stage, unnecessary and unimportant for a woman, and a new man will quickly understand this. Although, as a means to increase your self-esteem, it’s a completely workable option.

Build mutual understanding

Even having reinforced concrete beliefs about what an ideal relationship should be, we sometimes do not admit that the new chosen one also has his own experience and his beliefs may be even stronger than ours. Previous negative relationship experiences usually play a cruel joke on both partners. Excessive demands that reality does not coincide with inflated expectations leads to separation. Therefore, girls, remember: giving in and bending are two different things. You need to feel the line clearly and not abuse the rule “give in often and don’t quarrel,” otherwise you risk making yourself “guilty for life” and being left without the right to your own desires and opinions. You need to work on your mistakes and find that golden mean that is most comfortable for you.

Don’t compare your new boyfriend with your ex, at least out loud and in front of him

Of course, it is necessary to compare, but only in thoughts, in order to understand why it is better or worse. But under no circumstances tell your new lover about this. As long as we live in the past, no relationships will stick together in the present. It will be unpleasant for any man to constantly hear “... but my ex did such and such!”, “... you don’t know how? But everything worked out for the ex!” Imagine how nice it would be for you? After all, it is important for us to feel that we are valuable and important in ourselves, and not in comparison with our predecessor.

I’m not advocating leaving your significant other and running to look for something better. But if you have already broken up or are at a crossroads and definitely understand that something needs to be changed in life, do not be afraid! From my own experience I can say for sure: each subsequent man will be BETTER than the previous one if you TURN ON YOUR BRAIN. After all, we ourselves can live poorly, but with a man we need to live well!