I don’t know why I’m writing, I’ve already talked to everyone a hundred times... I probably want support.
Married for 7 years, I was sure that this was once and for all, my husband is practically perfect, earns good money, does everything for us, loves our children (two girls), is always at home, doesn’t go on sprees, doesn’t drink, doesn’t hit. But I began to feel that I was tired of the routine, I don’t work, I sit at home and work part-time and take care of the children, I live with my family, with him, with his problems. I take care of myself, see my friends whenever possible, and go out to have fun. My husband and I also made it a rule to go somewhere every weekend, but we also like to just hang out at home and watch a movie. But somehow everything is boring, I’m irritated, tired, everything infuriates me. I went to a psychologist and started working on myself. Then summer came, we went on vacation, he was with us for two weeks, then he left, I was alone with the children for a week, then his mother arrived and then we vacationed with her. One evening I had a very strong fight with him, I was very bored and waited for the call, he didn’t call because... celebrated my birthday with men from work, I was offended, made a scandal, said offensive words in the heat of the moment. And that's where it all began. He closed himself off, stopped calling, stopped communicating, said let me get bored, I want to understand myself, I understand something is going wrong, trying to find a way out... then he came when we couldn’t really establish a relationship, and upon arriving home there was a conversation, he said that we need to live separately, that he can no longer live like this, that he is fed up with scandals, jealousy, control, that we are different people. perhaps he hopes that time will put everything in its place and he will understand that he misses him, but for now he wants to be alone, he didn’t even live with his mother, he rented an apartment. I would understand if I went to someone else, but there is no mistress. He wants to be alone, to do everything himself, to cook, wash and iron... he sees the children on weekends and during the week, if I need help, he calls his eldest daughter before bed... he wants to communicate with me as usual, as if nothing happened, he can come smack, talk normally, have dinner. But every time it all comes down to my persuasion to return, sorting things out, tears, begging... I probably just cried for a month, I’m on sedatives. He is trying to control me, he wants to know all the little things related to children, I didn’t really delve into it before, I was constantly offended that I listen to him about his problems, but he is not particularly interested in ours... and here there is such an interest in children, he constantly offers to help sit down , well, as my psychologist says, he communicates on his own terms, as he feels comfortable, but at the same time I can’t eat, I cry, I’m constantly waiting for something, hoping for something. At some point I realized that I had no more strength, I couldn’t communicate like this, it hurt. Decide to set boundaries. She asked me not to call for small things, to write if possible, and said I couldn’t see him either, so take the kids on the weekends, talk to them, then bring them, so you don’t need to come when you call and if you wish. It became easier. After that, he immediately agreed to go to a psychologist, he said it might help...
I’m writing now calmly, because... I've cried everything out already. .I don’t know what’s next..wait, hope or learn to live on alone...

The news that the Petrovs were planning to divorce came as a shock to their loved ones.
Fifteen years of a strong marriage, a teenage daughter, a just paid mortgage, an established life, wealth in the family, mutual friends, who have become common parents over the years of marriage - what a scam! I wish I could live and be happy. And then this...
No, well, of course, there were minor quarrels and inconsistencies in the family, but who doesn’t have them? Lyudmila is an electric broom by nature, she always needs to go somewhere, go, get impressions; Grigory, on the contrary, is a hunk and an introvert; he would like to sit on the sofa with a book or a computer - and not be bothered. He, unlike his wife, always valued order and predictability. Because of the difference in temperament, they sometimes quarreled, but after all, they lived together for a decade and a half, and both were happy with everything. What suddenly happened?

Just recently we went to a barbecue with friends - there was no talk of any divorce!
The perfect couple. Grigory, I remember, joked about the second child - Lyudmila just waved it off. In infancy, the daughter was what is called a difficult child, with a bunch of neurotic disorders, until she was four years old, she did not really sleep at night, was constantly sick, and ate very poorly. Young dad Grisha, as far as Lyudmila remembers, was not very eager to help with upbringing. Only Lyudmila fought with the child and rushed around the speech therapists and doctors. The girl became more or less independent and sane only in the third grade, and now communicating with her is a pleasure: smart, reasonable, purposeful. Nevertheless, Lyudmila knows for sure that she will not be able to pull off a second child like this.
However, Grigory didn’t seem to insist on this topic, no, no, we laughed with friends at a family party and that’s all.
This is clearly not the reason for the divorce.

To be honest, Lyudmila herself did not fully understand what had happened. The husband suddenly became angry and irritable, and after a while he declared that it was better for us to live separately. Think, understand yourself... “Live separately” Lyudmila categorically refused. What kind of conventions and travels are these, a kindergarten? If you don't like living with a family, leave! You know where the door is. And Grigory seemed to agree with this option with relief. He immediately threw his underwear into his suitcase and moved out forever. Not to my mother - she has a bad heart, why bother her. Stay with a friend for a couple of days, and then rent an apartment.

Grishka has someone! - Lyudmila’s best friend confidently said. - Well, there’s just no other explanation that comes to mind. You will see. The secret will soon become clear.
- Stop it! I would know! So that Gregory has someone??? Can't be!
This really didn’t fit into my head. Grigory is a solid man, an exemplary family man, one of those who “goes to the house.” Correct, with a developed sense of duty. And everything always came together in time - from work to home, without stopping anywhere. And in terms of money - no extra expenses lately. Come on, that's nonsense

A couple of months later the official divorce took place. Grigory left, as they say, “like a man,” taking only clothes from the house, leaving his wife and daughter with everything they owned, including the apartment.
And a couple of months later, mutual acquaintances...were invited to the wedding.
Grigory and his young colleague were legally married, who, according to rumors, was already a little pregnant, so there was no point in postponing official registration...

It turns out that the friends who told Lyudmila that men are absolutely inert creatures and don’t leave their family “for nowhere” are right?
And if you’re getting ready, that means Cherche la femme?
Do you agree?

If a divorce occurs in a family, this does not mean the end of the relationship. Very often, husbands who leave their wives for their mistresses return home after a while and confess. Why does this happen, and how should wives of abusive husbands behave?

Why do husbands leave?

Experience knows many cases when a husband leaves the family, but then returns, and the couple continues to live happily ever after. Women are much more tolerant than men and are able to forgive a lot. In the life of almost every woman there has been a betrayal of a loved one and subsequent forgiveness. Men are designed in such a way that cheating is a common thing for them, a physiological process that means nothing. Most often, a husband cheats on his wife because this corresponds to the status of a male, because it is interesting. There are often cases when betrayal occurs under the influence of alcohol. Unlike women, who painfully experience their own betrayal, men do not attach much importance to their adventures. Even if they are guilty, there will be no long-term worries, and after the wife’s forgiveness is received, the betrayal will most likely happen again. And this situation is the norm for many men. They can cheat 5 times and be forgiven the same number of times, since for their wives the main thing is spiritual fidelity.

But if the husband packed his things and left, this does not indicate just physiological sex or sports interest. A family man, accustomed to the comfort of home, ironed shirts and delicious dinners, is unlikely to leave his family for the sake of a passing hobby. He is more likely to quietly meet with his mistress, but will not sacrifice his own comfort. Men leave for other women for the following reasons:

1. Love. Such cases happen when first love meets. Old feelings flare up with renewed vigor, and this relationship ends with the husband wanting to leave the family. Men also fall in love with other women during a midlife crisis. The desire to feel younger pushes older husbands into the arms of young girls.
2. Cheating wife. Men forgive female infidelity very rarely. This is a blow to their male pride, which not everyone can survive.
3. Problems of a psychological nature. A man wants to leave home, where there is an unfavorable emotional atmosphere, where there are constant omissions, quarrels, where he is not understood. Often there are problems in a married couple due to disagreements in life views, issues of religion and raising children.
4. Financial and household problems. Problems can also arise due to lack of money. If a wife reproaches her husband for his financial insolvency and nags him about this, sooner or later he will leave his wife.
5. Problems in intimate life. A man's sexual life lasts quite a few years, right up to old age. And even after a year of family life, husbands need full intimacy. Women, while busy with everyday life and children, stop paying due attention to their spouses.
6. Wife's appearance. In family life, husbands see their wives unkempt and unkempt, dressed in a completely unfeminine way. And at work, on the contrary, every day they see beautiful female colleagues in fashionable outfits, fragrant with perfume. Comparing, men every day stop looking at their wives as women. Hence - problems in sexual life, irritability, dissatisfaction with each other.

Where do husbands go?

Families do not always break up because of other women. And not every man, having gained freedom, strives to lose it again. If the husband left the family for his mistress, he will go to her. If the reasons for the breakup are different, then the man’s temporary refuge can be:

• parental home;
• rental apartment;
• friend's house;
• cottage or garage;
• office;
• car.

In extreme cases, the spouse quits his job and moves to another city. If he does not find a permanent place of residence, you can be sure: having been pushed around, he will definitely return.

How long will it take for my husband to return home?

As already mentioned, if a husband leaves the family, this does not necessarily mean forever. Some time will pass and he may return. It all depends on some circumstances:

• the reason why the husband left the family;
• How will your relationship develop after the breakup?
• What will you do to get him back?

If the husband left for his mistress, then, as practice shows, he will leave her. When the candy-bouquet period ends. It lasts on average 3-4 months. If you analyze why your husband left for someone else, you can identify the following reasons:

• the mistress is more attractive than you, more well-groomed;
• she has a lot of free time, so she can devote it only to your husband;
• she is not burdened with worries;
• she does not burden her husband with everyday problems, does not nag him;
• he is experienced in sex.

In three or four months, the scales will fall from your husband’s eyes, and he will see that his mistress is an ordinary woman, just like you and hundreds of other women. She may also walk around unkempt and come home from work tired. She will ask her husband to hammer a nail, take out the trash. He will understand that he has not acquired anything new and therefore will return to his old life, that is, to you.

Why do husbands come back?

When your husband announced that he was leaving forever, it seemed to you that this was the end of the family, the end of the relationship. But statistics show that unfaithful husbands return in most cases. And this happens due to the following factors:

1. Habit. Men themselves don’t notice how they get used to certain things, little things. And only life with another woman reveals these little things. He notices that his mistress does not cook as well as his wife, likes the wrong films and programs, listens to different music. And he comes back because he is unable to change his habits.
2. Change of world view. If the husband left for someone else or simply left home, this probably happened in the heat of emotion. After time passes, the man realizes the value of the family, his mistakes and will return.
3. Reconciliation. After the husband leaves home, communication with his wife and children still continues. And over time, all the anger and resentment disappears.

How to cope with your husband's departure

If the husband left and does not want to return, it will be unpleasant, painful and offensive for any woman. The moment he said he was leaving, it seemed like betrayal and betrayal. The first thought that comes to the wife’s mind is, of course, a mistress. But, as already mentioned, the husband does not always leave for another woman.

The breakup period for a woman lasts in several stages:

1. Suffering– why did your husband leave? What is my fault? How to live further? During this period, a lot of stupid things are done in the heat of the moment, which both spouses later regret.
2. Pride. Having cooled down a little, women think: so what if the husband left and didn’t call. So what if he's gone forever. I will live without him, but he will disappear.
3. Again suffering. And pity for myself, for my husband. The woman is already ready to forgive everything in the world, if only he would return.

During these periods, a woman can do a lot of stupid things that she needs to beware of. Under no circumstances should you shed tears, beg, arrange a showdown with your mistress, or blackmail with children. The main thing is to give time for mental sobriety to return, and after that you can already think about what to do.

How to return your husband to your family

If the reason for the breakdown of your relationship was not your mistress, then how soon he will return depends only on you. You need to wait a few weeks, let both cool down and think, and then take action. If his departure was scandalous, you definitely need to talk and apologize. Surely, he will also apologize, realizing his mistakes.

You need to analyze well and understand what exactly is to blame. If a husband leaves the family, this indicates that something does not suit him. This means that not everything was smooth in the family. After a little time has passed, you need to meet and talk openly. If you cannot resolve the issue without scandals, communicate via letters or SMS messages. Find out what exactly your husband doesn’t like about you, understand why exactly you behave this way. Under no circumstances should you mutually reproach him or blame him. Agree, promise to improve and be just as honest about your complaints.

The next step is correction. It is not enough to promise, you need to take action. Start changing. Your husband will return if he sees you as a beloved and desirable woman.

• take care of your appearance, you should always be well-groomed and attractive;
• be calm and restrained, do not allow yourself to turn into a hysteric;
• be more relaxed in bed so that he doesn’t even think about other women;
• be gentle, affectionate and calm.

Today it is not difficult to work on yourself. You can turn to a psychologist for help, attend special trainings, watch motivational films, and read relevant literature. It all depends on your desire to return your husband.

If you know that your husband has left for his mistress, you need to be cunning. If she somehow attracted your spouse, it means you need to become even better. Moreover, you have a great advantage: you are his wife, which means you can call him at any time and ask him for anything.

1. Act kindly and openly, use any excuse to invite him home. After all, he can visit the children.
2. When your husband comes home, cook his favorite dish, as if by chance, put on his favorite movie. When he comes to you, he should see a pleasant and familiar environment.
3. And don't forget about yourself. You must be attractive, friendly, cheerful and caring.
4. When you feel that he is already wholeheartedly with you, in the family, seduce him. There is no need to be shy or feel awkward, because this is your husband. It is his mistress who should feel shame, because because of her he left you.

After a certain time, he will understand that this is his home, you are his wife, and his beloved children are nearby.

In some situations, the husband leaves home just to teach his wife a lesson, to show her what she can lose. In any case, it is important to recognize mistakes in time, apologize to each other and forgive. After all, a moment may come when reconciliation will be impossible.

Today you are sure that you are doing everything right. I am convinced that people like you will not be abandoned. You have no doubt that he is yours forever, the only one in the world capable of listening, understanding, sympathizing, reassuring, supporting, protecting. This is today, and tomorrow... he can leave.

Marriage is a long swim in a cramped cabin. And it’s natural that nerves sometimes give way.

Perhaps the reason was a banal little thing - finding out who the real Winner of Eurovision 2011 is, or discussing the family budget, but now - the man left. Just don't panic! Could it happen that you no longer need him? Maybe you are simply not yet able to understand that his departure is yours. Take a break, think while you have time. But, if there is still something to fight for, then remember that, most likely, you will have a chance to fix everything. Because husbands most often return.

After he leaves, you “tear your hair out” and are tormented by questions:

• why did this happen to me?
• Is he better off with her than with me?
• will he come back or not?

Why did he leave? You can and should analyze your life with him, look for reasons in yourself, in him, in yours... Such an analysis will not hurt. Sooner or later, life forces everyone to look back on the years they have lived and experience the bitter feeling of parting with youth, with love. There is a need to reconsider your priorities.

Comment on the article "My husband left. Will he come back or not?"

“You can’t step into the same river twice”... I have a situation, but on the contrary, I want my husband to take into account everything that happened in the past, I can’t be just his wife, I want everything to be fair. It’s just that in the future I will be able to make another man happy...
If it doesn’t work out, then let me run out of happiness in this world, it’s like it’s useless to renew it... this is the wrong person, not mine...
In principle, I could live on an animal habit, have sex without respect, and pity, but I don’t want to lie to myself.

either he will return or not: 50% to 50%.

Total 8 messages .

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