Late love, what is its strength? Love in adulthood Love and relationships in adulthood

In 2008, the United States published the results of a study of the sexual life of people from 57 to 85 years old, which produced the effect of an exploding bomb. Among 57-64-year-olds, 73% continued to have sex, among 65-74-year-olds this figure is 53%, and among 75-85-year-olds - 26%. Nobody expected this, and newspapers in the West at that time were full of headlines like "Old people do it more often than you think."

About "boys"...

In age sex, there were clear differences between "boys" and "girls". Older men were more active than their peers and retained their interest in sex longer. Studies have shown that sexual desire (libido) and the desire to have sex persisted in them until very advanced years. From a medical point of view, this is just wonderful. After all, sex is useful at any age - it is a great physical workout for the body and a positive emotional shake-up for the soul. Sexual function is closely related to the state of health, and it is even considered an indicator of the aging of the body: for those who have not lost their health by old age, everything is usually good in sex. It is clear that the older you are, the more often sex requires the help of pills, which are sold today in a great variety. But there is nothing wrong or shameful in this. Another thing is bad - when men give in at the very first difficulties with erection. But this suggests that problems with blood vessels begin. First, in the intimate area, where they are the thinnest, then in the heart, and this is fraught with angina pectoris and heart attack, and in the brain, it threatens with a stroke. So this is the first bell to start taking care of health. And then a long and happy sex life lies ahead.

...and about "girls"

In the fair sex, the situation with sex is more complicated, and first of all it is associated with menopause. Studies have shown that due to menopause, libido disappears in 43% of women - the desire to have sex simply disappears, 34% have no orgasm (this is also serious - if there is no pleasure, why do you need sex?), 39% have sex that is problematic and sometimes even painful due to vaginal dryness (this is also a typical consequence of menopause).

Since menopause is quite tightly tied to age, these problems begin to arise when approaching the 50-year milestone, and for some even earlier. And with the general state of health, as in men, this is often not connected. It's just that sex is largely tied to sex hormones. And their restructuring in climax leads to such results. But, like men, it's fixable. Today there are many drugs. For women, even more than for the stronger sex. And it's not just hormone replacement therapy. There are drugs that can solve these problems safely. As long as there is sex, there is no old age.

In adulthood When love comes to a person, it inspires, everything around becomes beautiful and cozy. It seems that the whole world is full of kindness and understanding. The grass looks greener, the birds sing symphonies, people smile, and that's it for you. Love changes sensations and inspires feelings so much that everything around acquires only positive aspects. I want to sing, constantly smile and enjoy life and the fact that a loved one is nearby, which means everything is fine. You always want to be close to a dear person. Separated, bored. And when together, it doesn’t matter where, the main thing is with your loved one. So I want to surrender to feelings, go with the flow, love and be loved.

Mature age is not a reason to abandon a love relationship.

But no matter how it seems, at different ages, feelings differ from each other. In adolescence, everything seems much brighter and simpler. They do not care about petty everyday problems, and what others will say. You love your soul mate only because she is with you, and this proves a lot, as it seems at that moment. A person is loved not for something, but simply because he is there. To a greater extent, at this age, they choose according to their appearance, material status, and popularity. After all, many young people meet only for ostentatious significance, and to give a certain authority.

Love at a more mature age is not so cloudless. Not for nothing there is such a proverb "You need to marry in youth." This suggests that at a young age, feelings are much freer and not boxed in. In adulthood, the realization comes that just loving is not enough, the main components of a reliable relationship are needed: trust, respect, understanding, the ability to compromise, support, these feelings are as important as love itself. Maybe that's why, when they become adults, it is much more difficult to find a mate. Since they are guided not only by feeling, but also by attitude, attention. This is checked very simply, help in difficult times, indicates a desire to support in a difficult situation, lend a shoulder, and be a reliable support. During illness, protect from all adversity. Financial support, the desire to give all the best to your soulmate. All these proofs of love are valid in adulthood only when they are collected into a single whole. Love for a person without the main components is possible, but only it is not enough for a long time, and it quickly passes when you encounter life's difficulties, problems quickly sober up and make you see clearly.

A man who loves a woman with a child bears double responsibility. Since he must protect not only the woman he loves, but also the child. A woman with a child, when choosing a chosen one, motivates her choice with a general attitude. Since they are one with the child, and the man must understand that the mother will not go against the will and well-being of her child. Whatever is good for the child will be good for the mother. Under no circumstances should you impose yourself. It is necessary to gain trust, to achieve understanding. If the child sees that his mother is respected, loved, then he will reach out to you. Otherwise, you will never be able to achieve a positive result. Children feel everything on a subconscious level, it is impossible to deceive them.

It's stupid to think that love happens only at a young age. Stronger and more reliable feelings arise at a later age. They go through a kind of “selection” according to the components listed above. If such a person is found, this love will last forever, unlike youthful love. Therefore, do not hesitate to show feelings at any age, but do not forget about your loved ones, children, parents. They need to know that you are happy, that you are well. May they rejoice with you.

Is it dangerous to fall in love as an adult? What is the risk? What good will it do?

Feelings of age do not have, therefore, inYou can fall in love both at the age of 10 and at 50. And what is it like, love in adulthood: is it the same feeling as in youth, or is there a difference? What dangers lie in wait for people who unexpectedly, unexpectedly fell in love? And what is the difference between love ripened by a ripe berry and young love resembling a spring flower?

Still dangerous for men, am I, a woman of "Balzac age"?

As long as children live with us, we, especially women, do not feel separate from them and do not feel lonely. But time is steadily moving forward, the children are growing up, and we are beginning to notice: they actually have their own life. And when our children leave us, along with the feeling of freedom comes the feeling of loneliness.

Often in adulthood, women who have remained single are already in this status. Of course, for the most part, they are not against meeting a worthy man, just finding your soul mate is already becoming unrealistic. In this age group, the partner search circle is very small.

But still, for active people who need to feel not a state of rest, but emotions, in order to feel that they live, it is necessary to make efforts in this direction. And then something will definitely work out, but what kind - maybe good, or maybe not very much, life will show.

Love is a push, not an senile dream

In the so-called maturity, a person has seen everything in his life, as they say, he has made a fortune. Therefore, there is no longer that sharpness or that excitement to embark on adventures. Does age affect? Maybe yes, only around us there are extinct young people, and there are old people with burning eyes.

When a mature person has enough energy for several young people, it is very possible for such people to fall in love at this age, however, as in any other. After all, none of us knows when this metamorphosis called love will happen. And when this happens, what age is there - this nuclear reactor will still give heat!

If you love more than when you were young

In youth, passion replaces love for us, it makes our head spin, we close our eyes to many things, and little things are not noticed. We are just floating on the waves of surging feelings.

In maturity, we look at everything more calmly, more wisely, more intelligently. From the height of years, everything is seen more clearly, it is understood why stupid mistakes were made in youth.

People over 40 today are able-bodied and active men and women. And they love, no different from the youth, just with the acquired experience, wisdom, restraint and secrecy. But it’s not their feelings that have dulled, it’s just that their life path has changed.

During this life period, we accept a loved one with all his problems and shortcomings - a tolerance appears, which was absent in youth. Only with age comes the realization that in love you need to be able to forgive.

The love of a hooligan in love gives passion

A new love at this interesting age returns the feeling of youth to a person: he seems to soar in the sky and sees the world around him in bright colors. Everything around becomes more beautiful, and a feeling of joy lives in the soul. I want to forget about the past, constantly be close to my loved one, and go hand in hand through life together.

There is a desire to start life anew in order to leave behind loneliness and negative experiences, to get relationships at an older age. But still, in addition to feeling, mature people need confidence in a partner, they want to have some kind of guarantee of a reliable relationship.

Based on the past years, they realize that in addition to joy, there are certain obligations for a relationship in a couple. Maintaining love requires mutual respect andthe ability to find compromises. Perhaps that is why older people rarely dare to look for a mate, because they understand that to love means to share both sadness and joy.

And this is in old age!


And if two mature people decide to join their lives, then late marriages are more stable. Because people soberly assess their partner, know themselves better and can imagine their own reactions to some actions. In adulthood, there is a motivation to create a family.

And this means supporting each other in difficult times, helping both in grief and in illness. And even, no matter how sad it is to mention it, to watch how a person passes away from life, gradually fading away.

Fear of love and relationships in adulthood also occurs in cases where the chosen one has minor children. After all, when entering into such an alliance, responsibility for them will have to be taken on.

Mature love and the reasons for its formation. The article gives recommendations on how to preserve the feelings that have appeared in a couple with rich life experience. It also contains advice on maintaining trusting relationships with relatives after the event.

The content of the article:

Mature love is something that can bring a skeptical smile to the younger generation. However, the fact remains that this phenomenon is quite common among older people. It is necessary to understand this issue in order to have a clearer picture of the relationship when two experienced people met and fell in love with each other.

The mechanism of development of relations between mature people


Life does not stop in place, so lonely hearts try to find their soul mate at any age. If mature people notice each other, then the scenario of their relationship usually develops as follows:
  • feeling lonely. This imbalance in the soul has a fairly wide interpretation, because you can feel emptiness inside yourself and with your existing partner. In the event of a need for a new relationship, a mature person begins to look for a soul mate that would suit him in all respects.
  • Fateful acquaintance. This can happen both by accident and as a result of purposeful actions. In adulthood, not only the external attractiveness of a possible chosen one is already considered, but also his spiritual qualities.
  • Search for common interests. If a person has at least some life experience, then he will try to find a partner who will understand him. The exception is mature persons who try to appear more spectacular at the expense of a younger lover.
  • Pairing. If people at a respectable age understand that they are suitable for each other, then this can be the beginning of a serious relationship. At the time of youth, this process occurs much faster, but the result is very predictable.
  • Development of a relationship. Love is a feeling that constantly requires a certain emotional supply. The feelings of mature people usually lead to the creation of a full-fledged family, because at this age passion goes hand in hand with reason.

The main prerequisites for the formation of a mature couple


Nothing happens just like that, because we ourselves coordinate our actions. Fate is a serious thing, but even it is sometimes subject to some adjustment. Psychologists believe that love in adulthood can arise for the following reasons:
  1. Common interests. Nothing unites experienced people like the opportunity to spend their leisure time together. If both partners like to do the same thing in their free time, then there is a high probability that their couple will develop. They will not have a desire to separate pastime, which often destroys even the strongest feelings.
  2. Similar outlook on life. The presence of common life orientations is an excellent factor in the emergence of mutual feelings. Two souls must sing in unison in order to form a strong and stable couple.
  3. Contrast with previous relationships. Over time, we all begin to learn from our mistakes, because life tends to teach quite hard lessons. If a person in adulthood was once the victim of a domestic tyrant, then he will begin to look for a quiet and balanced partner. They don’t look for good from good, so they leave those who really poisoned the life of their soulmate.
  4. Tired of free life. In this case, we will talk about inveterate bachelors and selfless feminists. Youth gives us a huge potential of vitality, which is sometimes wasted in the wrong direction. Tired of loneliness or temporary relationships, a person in adulthood can look at reality in a completely different way. Having changed his former way of life, he will be able to see the person whom fate presented to him at the end of his years.
  5. Finding your ideal. We are all looking for something that would completely suit our tastes and preferences. You can spend your whole life looking for that one and only, and find it already in adulthood. This happens instantly when a person no longer expects anything from this life. Love flares up instantly, which eventually leads to the creation of a stable couple.
  6. Similar type. All of us someday lose our loved ones who were very dear to us. A loved one in the past could go to another partner or simply leave this world. After a long depression, a mature person is able to meet someone who is very similar in all respects to a lost lover.
Feelings at a respectable age have quite serious reasons for their formation. Passion often clouds the brains of younger people, which is considered quite natural. Therefore, a pair of mature partners has great chances for a happy future together.

Signs of sympathy between mature people


If we are talking about young people, then mutual vibes are immediately visible due to the boiling of passions in front of everyone. The love of mature people is somewhat different from that described, so it looks like this:
  • Meaningful smiles. If you like a person, then when communicating with him, you want to constantly show your feelings. At the same time, the difference between a friendly disposition and a clear manifestation of sympathy between two people of age is immediately noticeable. At the same time, everyone around understands everything, and loving hearts begin to draw closer to each other.
  • Desire for frequent meetings. After obvious signs of attention, the second phase of a mature relationship begins, in which people who are interested in each other begin to want to continue their acquaintance. They call back more and more actively and look for a reason for the next meeting.
  • Long conversations. After spending leisure time together, the most interesting period of mature relationships begins in the form of intimate conversations. Older people have something to tell each other, because their life experience is rich in all sorts of events, stories, and there is plenty of time for this.
  • Getting to know the family. A well-known fact is that if a mature person is ready to introduce his chosen one to his relatives, then this is evidence of the beginning of a serious relationship in the formed couple. There is rarely a person who does not have relatives, so you still have to introduce a partner you like to a close environment.

How to find love as an adult

Some people will find this issue strange, because public opinion says that love itself will come with time. All this is true, but basically a person forges his own happiness. If the years pass inexorably, then it's time to think about finding a soul mate.

You can do this by resorting to the following ways to solve the problem in your personal life:

  1. Interest club. A mature person at a youth party will look somewhat strange if he did not organize it himself. Night clubs are also good only for young people who are able to fall in love at such a late time, quarrel and put up again. An older person is more suitable for an entertainment event where his peers gather. In such organizations, a large number of couples are created when mature people find their soul mate. An optimistic example of what has been voiced can serve as the club of Leah Akhedzhakova in the movie "Moscow Does Not Believe in Tears", where many people of age have found their happiness.
  2. Marriage Agency. Young people rarely resort to the services of this organization, if it is not about a proposed marriage with a foreign partner. It will not be shameful for a person of age to turn to professional matchmakers for help, who will help to choose a suitable candidate for the client. In a personal meeting, the customer himself will already decide for himself the expediency of continuing the relationship, but often the choice hits the bull's-eye.
  3. Online dating. Not only boys and girls are exploring the expanses of the World Wide Web, but older people are happy to visit all kinds of sites. The Internet is good because it allows everyone to communicate, regardless of the place of residence of the interlocutor. Consequently, a mature person has a great chance to meet a person of interest to him, which in the future can cause him to love the chosen one.
  4. Help from friends. In this case, one recalls the wonderful film “For Family Circumstances”, in which a stable couple of mature people formed through joint friends. It is worth thinking about the fact that maybe in the immediate environment there is a person who is able to organize a meeting of two lonely hearts. In most cases, the initiative brings a positive result in the form of creating an alliance of like-minded people.
  5. Event attendance. Exhibitions, theater, auctions - all this is a real opportunity to find a person from whom the heart will light up and the soul will sing. In such places, you can find your soul mate even in adulthood, because, as already mentioned, common interests unite.
There are quite a lot of ways to solve the problem of personal life, even in adulthood. Therefore, you should not despair and suffer alone in full confidence about the impossibility of happiness. You need to act, because time is running out, and you need to take care of yourself in terms of a happy old age next to your loved one.

Ways to preserve feelings in the resulting pair

It is possible to create a couple in adulthood, but it is important to keep warmth and mutual respect for each other in it. It is sometimes quite difficult to do this, because both partners brought baggage of their past mistakes into a new relationship. However, nothing is impossible in the world, so you should use the chance for happiness provided by fate.

Lapping options between mature people


It would be erroneous to think that quarrels at the initial stage of a relationship concern only young and inexperienced couples. Older people also create a wall of alienation between themselves, the following tips will help to eliminate it:
  • Acceptance of the past chosen one. Not everyone is able to take such a courageous act, but without it, it will be almost impossible to save the created couple. Everyone has their own life story, which is not always a rosy picture. Therefore, mature people should understand that, while letting new love into their lives, they must also accept the partner's past.
  • Compromise. We all have a certain temperament and have our own pattern of behavior. In this case, it is worth considering that a loved one needs to do some concessions. At the same time, no one talks about permissiveness, but you still have to make some concessions in relation to your mature partner in order to preserve feelings.
  • Learning from your mistakes. Sometimes we repeat the same actions that bring many problems in the future. With a conscious relationship in adulthood, it is worth starting a preliminary analysis of your actions. It is worth asking yourself questions before the answers come in the form of a breakup.

Grinding is an important stage in any relationship. Therefore, it is necessary to treat this phase of the formed union responsibly. It is easy to lose, but it is imprudent at an age when fate can give the last chance for happiness.

Communication with children from previous relationships in a mature couple


The hackneyed phrase that children are our future still has a right to exist. We cannot miss this fact when choosing a new partner for life together. It is necessary to establish contact with the offspring of the chosen one, which is best organized as follows:
  1. unobtrusiveness. There is nothing worse than such actions, when even grown-up children begin to bake with their attention a new family member. Everything must be done in a balanced way and with a wise approach to the problem voiced. A stone wears away water, so a person with a certain amount of experience will act in this way.
  2. Positive example method. The children of a loved one need to see that their parent is in good hands. In this case, a lot of problems can arise, because jealousy will be present in the situation that has arisen. Time will put everything in its place, but it is still necessary to make it clear to the children of the beloved about the seriousness of the relationship with him.
  3. Tact. This aspect is very close to the concept of unobtrusiveness, but these two factors have a slightly different meaning. You can destroy everything with one sharp word addressed to the child of the chosen one, because the parent usually always stands up for his children. At the same time, it does not matter how old the third subject of the late relationship is, because only aggression will be the result of the admitted faux pas.

Important! It is always difficult to accept a stranger into a family, because it often entails a lot of negativity. Therefore, it is necessary to coordinate their actions in such a way that everyone is satisfied with the result of a mature relationship.

Maintaining Sexual Attractiveness in a Mature Couple


In young partners, this problem is much less common. At a more respectable age, it is necessary to take this issue more seriously. The following expert advice will help to save the feelings that have arisen in such an alliance:
  • Love for your body. In intimate relationships, an important role is played by the external data of the partner. It cannot be argued that only this factor affects the quality of sexual life. However, a taut figure has not hurt anyone yet, because it is able to attract the attention of the opposite sex. If it is very problematic to correct external defects, then you just need to love yourself as you are. After all, the chosen one once appreciated the future object of passion, highlighting him among other applicants. So, not everything is so bad, and you should not collect complexes at home.
  • Personal care. There is an expression that a man loves with his eyes, and a woman with her ears. Psychologists are ready to argue with this statement, because there are no identical people. Successful style, exquisite perfume, well-groomed body will always attract the attention of the chosen one. He will no longer pay attention to the network of wrinkles on the face and the skin, which has begun to lose elasticity.
  • Refusal to have sex if you don't want to. There is nothing worse than an intimate relationship under duress. We do not always feel good both physically and mentally. Therefore, the partner needs to tactfully say that he is very loved, but at the moment, sex simply will not bring any pleasure to both. However, at the same time, numerous anecdotes about headaches as a reason for refusing intimate relationships are recalled. You should not abuse this, because the chosen one may begin to look at the side with interest.
  • Role-playing games. Some people put a slightly different meaning to this concept, which has a fairly broad meaning. You must always be interesting to your partner, and age does not matter here. The playfulness of mature people in public looks more than strange. However, when the bedroom doors close behind a couple, there can be no prohibitions.
What is love in adulthood - look at the video:


Mature love and relationships in it are an example of wisdom, which is multiplied by experience. The period of youthful impulses and mistakes has passed, so it is very important to protect the long-awaited happiness acquired at a respectable age.

Many families that actually cease to be families a couple of years after the registration of marriage have one and the same feature: after a divorce, there is a need to start a new relationship. And here an obstacle arises in the form of certain difficulties, described below.

1. Emotional baggage.

You are no longer young, but you managed to taste the taste of family life, experienced a range of feelings in relationships with the opposite sex, and in your memory there are ready-made algorithms and reactions to “sexual stimuli”.

This baggage has shaped you as a person, so when a potential partner asks about who you are and what kind of person you are, you will readily talk about your experience, that you have ready-made principles and you are prudent in small things.

Unfortunately, the new relationship involves changes in the lives of the two, including changes in the state of the peripheral nervous system. This is facial expressions, and your speech, and gestures, and even the temperature of the skin surface - so much will change, and these changes will be in such unusual “little things” that you will actually start a new life.

After all, only under these conditions can you have a child, move to another place of residence, wake up with someone else. If you stay in the same condition, then your partner simply will not be able to come close to you, as required by a new relationship. In other words, you will have to surgically cut off some of your emotional baggage.

More barriers in adulthood to the family

2.Your demands have grown.

A priori, you simply cannot be that naive young man or girl who looked with open luminous eyes at the object of your passion. In your head is the memory of past suffering, which is unacceptable, and therefore you will cut them in the bud.

Your significant other does not work - goodbye! Drunk or rude - goodbye! I could not explain the long absence from home - goodbye!

Unfortunately, we realize late that each person is not just unique - he gives us a choice - either we perceive him completely or reject him. Even if you like some quality, you need to take the rest of the luggage. We will have to give up our demands - and this will have to be done without fail.

Your task is to decide whether you are ready to sacrifice something or not. It is possible that something can be bypassed, and it is necessary to make efforts to achieve harmony with a partner, to seek compromises, because the end justifies the means.

3. The world is changing, as a new partner brings new laws, new discoveries into your life, you will learn new things about the world around you, and therefore your perception of life is changing.

Even if the nature of the spouse or spouse resemble the previous life partner, their social environment is likely to be different. Someone with a sick mother, someone has a child who was left with an ex-spouse, someone is spinning in sports or financial circles, and someone is lonely ...

You can turn into a closed person, although before that you were the soul of the company, and all this for the sake of the family, for the sake of family partnership. And no matter how hard you try to keep your social ballast, it will still be difficult for even good friends to get used to you in a new guise, they may turn away completely unexpectedly.

What can we say about favorite habits. The wife may interfere if the spouse spends a lot of time at the computer, and the husband will demand that the wife answer all the phone calls. New man - new laws of the universe.

4. You will get bored with your old self.

Your past "I" will no longer please you. You will want to take and take from a new acquaintance, change for the better, be inspired by a partner.

But, as a rule, this rarely happens. Most likely, both are coming down on each other with their personal boundaries, and your past self will become a big burden for both. Already on the third day of your life together, you realize with horror that you will have to commit violence against yourself. Without it, the marriage will fall apart immediately, because you are both mature people and both have strong presets, both will want to take something fresh and new from each other, and you both sit on the couch and keep quiet!

Someone should start a new diet, jogging in the morning, someone should start learning a foreign language, otherwise boredom from a hardened personal shell will turn into mutual dissatisfaction: after all, I condescended to you, you should rejoice, be inspired and change for the better, why do you sit with such a lean face and expect something from life?

For very young guys and girls, the connection arises organically, they do not have a personal shell and accept everything as it is, and therefore their quarrel is always shock therapy. In mature divorces, all quarrels are painful mutual tortures, blows and injections, and rarely balanced decisions. The second time it is better not to allow a divorce - it will be very painful, as it will be conscious and "heavy" in its load.

One way or another, for the second or third attempt, you have one powerful weapon: you clearly know what you want, so do not be fooled by a pleasant appearance, but immediately determine the boundaries of your acceptable compromises.

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