A person who does not know God lives in darkness, and very often sins, not even suspecting that some of his actions are sin. And one of these sins is fornication - the physical proximity of persons who are not legally married. But there is another aspect of this sin, when an unmarried woman starts dating a married man. Today, this phenomenon no longer causes censure in society, but let's see what the Bible says about this.

“There are so many single guys, but I love a married man” - the problem of forbidden “love” has existed for a long time, if not from the very beginning of the creation of mankind. And a special responsibility in it lies with the woman.

When God created a woman, He brought her to a man, and Adam called her his wife. God took care of Eve in advance, gave her a husband, a beautiful garden where they were to live, an occupation for both of them - to look after the garden and cultivate it.

This episode from the Bible shows us God's attitude towards every woman. God loves every girl and wants to bless her and give her a happy life, a faithful and loving husband, a cozy home, a family. On the example of Eve, we see that the will of God is always good to us, a blessing from God enriches a person and does not bring sorrow with it. But very often a modern girl lacks knowledge about God and His commandments, which leads her to the sin of fornication, which violates God's plan for her and deprives her of blessings in family life.

beautiful deceit

If we look around, we will be surprised at how beautifully the sin of fornication disguises itself as true love. Let's look at least at the text of the song "The Conversation of the Wife and the Mistress" by Lyubov Uspenskaya and Irina Dubtsova. It contains the following words: “He once loved me to the point of madness, to tears, to goosebumps, and the bed burned with fire ...”.

Love today is very often a passion and a bed, and such an idea of ​​\u200b\u200bit is false and blasphemous. A person in such a relationship does not control himself and his life, but follows the feelings, and it seems to him that these feelings are the meaning of his life.

Fornication relationships are unacceptable for a healthy person, because they enslave her, make her dependent on lust, on the devilish fire in her blood.

When a married man comes to a girl with a proposal of a love relationship, she must tell him "no" if she wants to keep her soul healthy. After all, if we were approached on the street with a syringe and offered to inject ourselves, we would naturally refuse, realizing that drugs ruin lives. The sin of fornication breaks lives no less.

Fruits of a dissolute life

The Bible says, “The foolishness of a man perverts his way, and his heart is indignant with the Lord.”

Needless to say, how perverted is the life of a girl who decides to "love" with a married man?

As a rule, she destroys this man through sin. The sin of fornication deprives him of his sound mind, various addictions come, often it is alcohol and even more fornication with other women. The family of this man is destroyed, his wife and children suffer. The family loses a breadwinner, more unprivate people appear on the earth, and the culprit of this is a woman who said “yes” to fornication in her life.

But not only does a harlot destroy a man, she also destroys herself, because she herself becomes dependent on him. Often lovers get pregnant, have abortions, thereby committing another sin to everyone else, give birth to children, knowing that their fathers do not need them, because if a man did not value his children in marriage, he is unlikely to take care of children on the side.

And this girl, who at the age of twenty entered into a relationship with a married man, “fell in love” with him to such an extent that she could not breathe without him, today she remains alone with her children without a father. Plus, she has a wounded soul and pain due to her love story having such an unhappy ending. And the children need to be fed, dressed, and put on shoes... And you don't have to wait for help from your lover.

A life in which there is no happiness and order is not blessed. So who is to blame that this happens, God or man?

God cannot be mocked; whatever a man sows, that shall he also reap.

Act out of love

If those vibes that a girl felt in relation to a married man were love, that high feeling, would we observe such consequences in so many lives? Of course, no. Love from God does not think evil to the neighbor, does not seek its own. And when you decide on a relationship for the sake of your beloved, if only you feel good, then this is already lust, not love.

The problem lies in the selfishness of man. Instead of patiently waiting for his own happiness, he covets someone else's.

Marriage is an institution of God, and when a girl enters into a relationship with a man who has already married another woman, she acts as an enemy to God, acts contrary to Him. And in the Bible it is written, "Beware that you do not turn out to be God's opponents...".

God laid at the foundation of marriage a miracle incomprehensible to the human mind - two become one flesh, and each should perceive a husband or wife not as a separate person from himself, but as an extension of himself.

The girl herself decides what life she chooses. To allow in your life the sin of fornication with a married man or not. But God blesses those of them who do His will.

Another look at love

God loves those who love Him so much that He blesses them with the very best. He gives them families that reflect His glory, and such families shine like stars in this dark world. God becomes the center of such a family.

When registering and concluding a marriage in the Church, a man and a woman give each other and God a promise of love and fidelity. And it is at least ugly - to take away from a person what you have no right to, what does not belong to you.

With God, every person has a chance to build a strong and happy family on God's principles of chastity, purity, support, trust and care.

God teaches men to treat women like His daughters, with love, tenderness, and respect. And God teaches women to honor and respect their husbands, to recognize their authority in everything.

God gives a man and a woman instructions on how to live in such a way that there are no quarrels, conflicts, desires for betrayal.

These instructions are God's commands. And if you know them and follow them, your life will be hidden from all the curses of the world in the hands of the Father.

Elena Shumilova

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The modern world is calm about those who have a relationship before marriage. Even if treason occurs, then no one will throw stones in punishment. But what about those who are worried about their soul? How will the chosen path of loving a married man affect her? Will God forgive such an act?

According to the Orthodox faith, a person who does not know the Lord lives in sin. Fornication is one of the grossest violations of God's law. According to the Biblical story, dishes are a close relationship between two people who are not married.

The love triangle has been known to mankind since ancient times, and all responsibility for what is happening in it lies with the feminine.

At the beginning of the Bible it is said that God created a woman and brought her to a man. Adam called her his wife. God took care of Eve and gave her a husband, Adam, and a beautiful garden to tend to together. But in our world, girls lack the knowledge of the word of God and the commandments, which leads to sin.

The Bible directly speaks about who a person who has committed adultery has no place in Paradise, that is, the path there is closed. Of course, if you sincerely repent of what you have done and continue to live according to the precepts of holy scripture, then you can atone for any sin, as was the case, for example, with St. Theodora.

What is the risk of living in sin?

Now love is in most cases only passionate sex, and not a spiritual connection between two people, as described in the Bible. A person follows the biological needs, replacing them with the deepest and purest thoughts. Since they have a brighter color, it seems that these feelings are the meaning of life. But is it? Relationships with a family man are unacceptable for a believer, because they enslave and make addicted to lust, which destroys not only the cheater, but also the one who agreed to it.

If a proposal for intimacy has been received from a family guy, be sure to refuse. This will keep her soul healthy. She must understand that this affair will break her life in the first place.

A passion that has agreed to intimacy with someone's husband not only sins itself, but also provokes the family man again and again. Perhaps it was only a temporary clouding of the mind of someone else's spouse. After some time, he will regret his thoughts, and will be very grateful that you refused.

Otherwise, because of the homeowner, the family collapses, where not only the spouse, but also the children suffer from infidelity. And everything happens due to the fact that the girl could not refuse the offer, even if it was tempting.

The mistress destroys not only the chosen one, but also herself, because she becomes dependent on her lover. After all, it happens quite often that women become pregnant from such a vicious relationship. Realizing that the child is unwanted, as a result, an abortion is performed, which is also a great sin and not only in Orthodoxy.

But if, in spite of everything, the baby is born, then the newly-baked mother realizes that the biological father does not need him. As a result, the girl will be left alone with a baby in her arms and without a husband and livelihood. With the advent of the baby, passion fades, the freshly baked mother is absorbed by the problems and difficulties that she has to deal with herself. She becomes unhappy, and at the beginning of everything was the impossibility of refusing.

Options for the development of events

Sooner or later, the passion between lovers ends. This fact has been proven by many scientists, from biologists to psychologists, if there is nothing more between a couple than sex. And even if everything was perfect at the very beginning, it will backfire after a while.

Not many whores are concerned with the question of spirituality. But it's in vain! Communication with a married man seems insignificant. So a year, two, three passes and wrinkles appear on the face, the skin becomes not so elastic. There comes a belated realization that life passes, but there is no loving spouse, no children, and sometimes work. And there are fewer and fewer meetings with a loved one.

There is a certain group of female representatives who play a secondary role of a passion all their lives. She is never proposed to, and no one truly loves her. Therefore, one has to rejoice at what is still at least perceived as a body for carnal pleasures. But you should not rejoice here, because over time, her lover can easily be replaced by another, younger one.

In psychology, there is even a term "mistress syndrome". A person who agrees to intimacy gives the installation that she is always ready to be second in life, that is, to play a secondary role.

Bonded suitors in most cases perceive an extramarital affair as a temporary phenomenon. The representative of the weaker sex on the side is never assigned the role of a wife. She is just a "girl for the night", which can be turned to satisfy desires. Lovers who have intrigues on the side never leave their wives.

The legal spouse is always one, and there can be many mistresses.

It happens that a woman meets a married man, achieves her goal and becomes his new wife, but after a while she realizes that her lover has someone else on the side. And as a result, she finds herself in the role of an already deceived wife. Or disappointment will come, because it turns out that the chosen one was ideal only as a lover, but not as a husband.

What fate awaits a girl who meets a ringed guy is unknown. But nothing good will come of it, most likely.

Karma and relationships outside of marriage

Everything in our world is interconnected. A girl who agrees to sleep with a married man will never be truly loved. She is driven by the call of the flesh, just like a guy who is married. Intimacy is based on the desire to know and feel something new and diversify sex, but not to achieve love and affection for each other. This is punished by fate, so that the lover does not make the stronger sex want to take care of her, but he only wants to take possession of her.

Why is this happening? According to karma, the mistress is the third negative particle that destroys the integrity of the marriage. Many homeowners place the responsibility for the affair on the shoulders of the cheating spouse, but this is not the case.

Thus, belated karma comes to the fair sex in the form of the fact that the “married man” does not see her as a potential life partner, therefore he easily goes into extramarital intimacy, and is not going to build a family with his passion.

Consequences of an affair

Why can't you date a married man? For amorous affairs with someone else's husband, sooner or later you will have to pay. These intrigues are only a woman's whim, which pollutes karma and increases the chance of negative consequences in future lives.

An intimate relationship with an unfree guy is an illusion that this is a karmic connection. This is the mistake that destroys the family. She takes away her husband and father, which will not lead to anything good. For a relationship with a married man, karma portends a punishment in the form of:

• Strengthening the karma of a loner. When meeting a family man, the passion does not notice the potential suitors destined for her by fate. There is a big risk that she will be left alone when her lover leaves her.
• The loss of healthy energy threatens those who want to sleep with someone else's spouse, as they completely surrender to him. The real task of the female is to help the partner in self-realization, finding a place in life and finding oneself as the guardian of the family hearth. A non-free chosen one is not an equal participant in energy exchange. And the representative of the weaker sex will not be able to realize herself.
• The negative comes not only from the spouse and children, but also from the mother-in-law. A large amount of negative energy makes breakdowns in the aura, which will reflect badly in the future.
• Using different magical lapels is a sin that carries a dangerous punishment. In esotericism, the use of various kinds of spells also carries karmic punishment.

Few people, deciding to take such a step, think that children will pay for the love of a married person. At the same time, it doesn’t matter who he will be from, he will still get a certain bad part of his mother’s life.

Diseases

An affair with someone else's husband and karma are interconnected. As a result, the female energy will be weak, which will negatively affect the immune system. The body is easily infected with various infections.

Forbidden love causes ailments for both participants in the process. In a woman, the risk of developing mastopathy increases, and in a man, the formation of adenoma.

In addition, it is worth noting that if the wife knows about the intriguer and vice versa, then during close relationships, the ladies are more aggressive, which negatively affects the energy of the partner. As a result, diseases of the genitourinary system appear in both men and women.

Is it worth it?

Is it a sin to love someone else's husband? Yes, it is considered a violation of God's laws. Destroying the family, the lover automatically receives negative energy in her direction, which will not bring her good. Therefore, before entering into a vicious relationship, think about how much you need this particular unfree person? Maybe it's better to look for a real soul mate who will love only you.

Asks Tatyana
Answered by Alexandra Lantz, 07/20/2011

Peace be with you, Tatyana!

Yes, you do. In order to understand what is happening and why this is a clear sin, put yourself in the place of his wife. Those. if you were the wife of this man, and he would start dating a woman who loves him. How would you feel? Especially when you consider that when you got married, you counted on loyalty on his part, on family happiness, on the desire to jointly overcome the difficulties that inevitably occur in family life. And he suddenly went to another.

In answering your question, for a moment I myself imagined that now some woman, or even several women, would suddenly fall in love with my husband. Why not? He is a man with a lot of virtues, smart, kind, very pleasant appearance. I can assume that among the millions of women who exist in our country, there may be hundreds who can sincerely love him. So I presented it ... and I felt very uncomfortable, to be honest, I'm VERY uncomfortable.

Just don't be cunning in front of you, dear Tatyana. Do your best to be honest. With your lust, you destroy the lives of two people, and if they have children, then more people.

Why do I call your feeling lust and not love? Because what you are doing does not fit into the definition of love given in the Bible () . True love does not act out of order, and you pull the blanket of someone else's family life on yourself, destroying what was created before you and was never yours. True love does not seek its own, and you only think about being happy for you, so that you can snatch joys. True love does not rejoice at injustice, but you do injustice both to that woman (you offend her) and to her husband (you please him, although he is, in fact, a traitor and an unworthy person).

What you are talking about is a normal phenomenon for a pagan, perishing world. If you call yourself a Christian, i.e. disciple of Jesus Christ, you will need to carefully and prayerfully consider what the Bible says to the family.

"And he said, Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh, so that they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, whatever God has joined together, let no man separate."

"Woe to the world because of stumbling blocks, for stumbling blocks must come; but woe to that person through whom the stumbling block comes."

"Flee fornication; every sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the fornicator sins against his own body."

May GOD help you to start thinking righteously,

Read more on the topic "Home and family, marriage":

A long-term relationship with a married man is distinguished by a special passion or tenderness. He, tired of domestic duties and scandals, gladly accepts your love and gives a lot in return. It seems to be happiness. But every happiness has an ending, and all actions have consequences, and they are not always positive.

Being a lover is only easy when you are a self-sufficient woman who enjoys extreme adventures and sex, and also tries not to fall in love with her partners. But it’s hard for a woman’s nature not to fall in love with the one you sleep with, and who treats you with tenderness and understanding. Therein lies the rub.

Being the mistress of a beloved man is the worst thing. This is a clear road to a nervous breakdown, because jealousy and hope for a happy outcome depress. Alas, often men are not ready to leave their family and a cozy nest, preferring to keep their mistress near them.

As a result, you have to count on three scenarios:

1. He leaves his wife and you build your family (unlikely - 10%).
2. He leaves you in favor of family warmth and stability (65% chance).
3. He drags out the relationship, and you meet until the wife finds out about the relationship (25% chance).

The wife, most likely, will do everything possible from her so that you can live hard at least for a while. It will be difficult to survive the betrayal of a loved one and the onslaught from his official second half. This is one of the reasons why psychologists recommend not to communicate with the missus of your lover and keep your connection a secret.

The consequences of a relationship with a married man in the very near future

At first, everything will be just amazing. The guy is ready to kiss your hands and feet, constantly whisper about love, give gifts and coax a story about how you will celebrate some important holiday together, in a common house. He does it in such a way as to “glue” you to him more firmly, and also to convince himself that he is doing everything right.

There are two types of men who go into a long-term relationship with a mistress:

1. Gentle romantics who want to find a new object of love and inspiration.
2. Lovelace, thus proving their superiority. They need to be expected at any moment, wished with all their body and soul. Few people are loved, except for themselves, so sometimes they even have several mistresses.

Relations with the first type are pleasant, and if the wife does not find out about them, they will only have positive consequences. And an extramarital union with the second will bring only tears and nerves, moreover, in the near future. You should not hope for such, although it is especially easy to fall in love with them, because girls adore "bad guys".

Try to understand as quickly as possible who you are dealing with. But you should not give all of yourself to the womanizer, only parting will be the best solution for both.

What are the consequences of the relationship between a married woman and a married man?

The worst option is the relationship between a married woman and a married man. Constant hassle, the need to hide and lie, especially if both have children, is simply crazy. It can be worth it only if you are in love and are ready to endure all the problems for this. If there is only sex between you, it’s better to think about it - does this adventure make sense?

The worst thing that can happen is that your significant other will find out about it. And it often turns out that even if you both swore that you don’t need them and love each other, you still part, returning to your spouses. Some even understand that forgiveness from the lawful half opened their eyes to the feelings hidden in the depths of their souls for her.

Sometimes relationships need relaxation in the form of betrayal in order to begin to appreciate stability, peace and comfort.

It also happens that the legal halves do not forgive, and you are left without families, together. Initially, this may seem like a good idea, but over time, there is hatred for the one who deprived you of a normal life and made you go through a divorce, tantrums, insults. It's good when you support each other at a time like this. It's terrible if it's not. So you didn't really need each other, having lost your families for nothing.

Psychologists advise married people to choose only one of two options:

1. Sometimes making love without any obligations (it helps to distract from problems at home and quarrels with spouses).
2. Get together and build your family by telling your spouses about it.

There can be no intermediate options, as they are the most painful and will only bring disappointment in the lives of many people.

Is the love affair of unfree people a sin?

If you look from the point of view of biblical laws, then the connection of unfree people is a real sin. Everyone remembers the commandment "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife."

In some religions, you can find references to the fact that meeting a married man is not a sin. In Islam, for example, polygamy is allowed. But little is said about the connection with a married woman and always negatively. A girl should maintain comfort in the house, remain a good wife and mother, as well as a faithful spouse in all situations. Cheating on a husband is punishable by death in some countries.

In a civilized society, this, of course, does not happen, but cheating on your wife is still more acceptable. It is believed that guys are polygamous by nature, while banal promiscuity plays a role in girls. In the emancipated world, they try to equalize these rights, but on a subconscious level, the love affair of not free people is still condemned.

Negative consequences of communication with a married man according to the sign of the zodiac

If you believe in astrology, you can turn to the stars for help. Find out the zodiac sign of your beloved man, and you can see what consequences of your relationship are most likely.

Aries

A stubborn Aries will be with you to the last, telling stories about a happy life together. Most likely, he also tells his wife about love. Be careful with him and keep your distance.

a lion

Lions with the help of such connections prove their uniqueness, amuse the ego. They love to play with people for their own pleasure. Do not allow yourself to fall in love with the owner of this sign, otherwise he will steal your heart and faith in love. It is better to step back, allowing you to conquer.

Sagittarius

Sagittarius knows exactly what he wants. He will never change out of the blue - the decision is thought out hundreds of times. Most likely, he loves you and will not exchange passion for family comfort with his wife. However, such questions are purely individual.

Taurus

A romantic calf will give you all of himself, give you gifts and charm with incredible sex. Taurus rarely lie, but they do it skillfully. There is a high probability that a man will be devoted to you, but leaving the family is too difficult a decision for him. He understands that he is responsible to his family.

Virgo

Virgo does not like to change and does it only as an urgent need, when everything is tired to the limit. This fact allows you to believe in stories about a terrible spouse and a quick divorce. But don't get your hopes up.

Capricorn

Capricorns, like lions, belong to the womanizers mentioned above. They may have several mistresses, but they will not experience true feelings for any of them. Of course, Capricorn sometimes falls in love - he's a man. Therefore, to begin with, find out what exactly the representative of this zodiac sign feels for you.

Twins

Geminis often lead dual lives. They like to hide and lie, to seem like a different person and like to love another. For them, relationships on the side are a game and relaxation from family life. You should not completely trust and impose on the twins. They can always find a new object to play with another person.

Scales

Libra soberly weighs all the pros and cons before changing. They don't have to have problems at home. Perhaps the new passion is simply more profitable than the wife, so she is preferred. Relationship with a representative of the Libra sign will be full of amazing moments, but it is unlikely to last more than a year.

Aquarius

Aquarius is looking for a soul mate. He usually changes in the case when the wife has moved away and the connection between them has come to naught. It is important for him to share news, to feel loved. If you give it, he will carry you in his arms. True, she will not leave the family, but she will definitely give unforgettable moments.

Cancer

Cancer is very faithful, because the relationship with his mistress has a touch of love - he will not cheat just for the sake of physical gain. The representative of this sign is more likely to leave his wife than any other, as he has real and deep feelings for you.

Scorpion

Scorpio is important quality sex, for which he is ready to commit adultery. In a relationship with a mistress, this moment plays a key role. If you give him something that, due to any beliefs and principles, the wife does not give, the relationship will last a long time. But don't expect a happy ending.

Fish

Pisces are kind and don't like to hurt anyone. Usually they endure for the sake of others, trying to hide their emotions. Relationships on the side end quickly and easily, even if they later regret it all their lives. Give the representative of the sign everything he needs - this is the only way you will keep him near your person for a long time.

Weak girls who wholeheartedly want to be loved, or girls who are in search of a financial life partner, are capable of dating a married man. Self-sufficient and serious persons are unlikely to go on such a gloomy adventure that does not bode well.

Are you still swallowed by the abyss of passions? Then listen to the advice of psychologists:

1. Don't criticize your spouse. Try not to ask about her, and in general, for a while, when you are next to a man, forget about her.
2. Do not try to contact the relatives of your beloved, and, moreover, your wife, if you value a man. This could be the end of the relationship.
3. Do not make scandals and do not ask to choose one of you, pressure will only lead to separation.
4. Don't change "in response". Representatives of the stronger sex value loyalty above all else, even if it sounds absurd.
5. Do not impose and follow the requests. You should not call if your loved one asks not to do this while he is with his family. Wait patiently for it to pick up.

The only option when it is worth fighting for a relationship is when a man is already divorcing his missus.

At the time of the divorce, become the best in the world for him and create a "paradise" where he will come with joy. Then he will be sure that he made the right choice, and you are his real soulmate.

Appreciate such a man, because for you he gave up the most precious thing that can be in life - family and stability. Help to find it again, not regretting what was lost.

Continuation. . .

My life is:

Those who have had or are having an affair with a married man claim that the word "lover" comes from the word "love." You can justify your relationship with a married man in different ways: someone really fell in love for real, it’s just convenient for someone that a man is married, which means he won’t demand more than he should, but for someone it’s just an exciting game.

Grade

Adultery (an affair with a married person) is one of the greatest sins. According to the Old Testament law, adulterers were supposed to be stoned to death. However, in modern society it is not customary to pay attention to these "formalities". If anything can keep women from having a relationship with a married man, then it is not religious dogma.

Conventionally, lovers can be divided into two groups: those who have a future, and those who do not. The first group are those who, for the sake of a new love, still decide to break with their past life, file a divorce and build new relationships.

The second, which will be discussed, have been living in a love triangle for many years. Two women and a man who cannot or does not want to change the current situation.

Eternal mistress

There is such a thing - "eternal lover." It characterizes women who have been in a relationship with a married man for many years, and everyone expects that the man will eventually choose her. Such women are distinguished by low self-esteem, psychological trauma received in childhood, and some kind of masochism.

Eternal lovers almost never protest. No, of course they cry, reproach, get jealous, pout and keep silent, but they never lock the doors and turn off the phone. They do not abandon lovers in order to free themselves and find husbands. In this eternal suffering and expectation, they live for a very long time, because, oddly enough, they do not want to live differently. It has been noted that if men leave their wives, it is not for the sake of eternal mistresses. Because what's the point of bombing the main airfield for the sake of a spare, if there is a spare?

By the way, men take advantage of not only their mistress, but also their wife. And the wife is selected for this role, also appropriate, which can be used and who will endure it.

Lover of her own accord

There are many women who are happy to try on the role of a mistress, and are unusually proud of their status. As a rule, such ladies are driven by exclusively mercantile goals. In this case, it is not necessary to talk about love, but about selfishness - yes. Such women place all the blame for their relationship with a married man solely on the shoulders of a man. Say, this is his choice, I won’t force him, I won’t take him away from the family, etc.

Such women do not care what is happening in the souls of people involved in this story, the main thing is that the lover pays enough and on time. Here is an ad, which is full on the Internet, and which perfectly characterizes the type of kept mistress.

“A bright, stylish, cheerful and charismatic blonde with a model appearance and an ideal figure (height 178, weight 57, chest 3) will become the mistress of a successful, intelligent, wealthy and generous man (can be married) for the realization of all fantasies and secret desires, able to provide for high, decent level. I am 32 years old (slim, flexible, tanned body at 18), two higher educations, knowledge of a foreign language to perfection, creativity and a creative approach to everything. Don't get bored with me!"

Mistress - not-all-lost

No sane woman wants to go in mistress, unless she is driven by a thirst to get rich at someone else's expense. However, never say never. The story is as old as the world: a man turned a girl's head, gave hope for a happy future, but kept silent about the fact that he was married or lied that he was not married / divorced. When the truth is revealed, the girl is already head over heels in love.

Yes, it happens that a man leaves the family and begins to build a new relationship with his mistress. But here's what's interesting: if a man had an affair with a married woman, then the likelihood that he would later marry her is very small. All because he doesn't believe her! She was able to change her spouse - she will be able to change him.

In any case, there are very few positive aspects in a relationship with a married man. Therefore, if you nevertheless managed to fall in love with a married man, and there are no prospects for meeting old age with him as a legal wife, then you need to break off these relations.

See soberly

Try to soberly assess what are the true reasons that you are dating a married man? Try to paint the situation in black and white, do not look for halftones. Know that complexes and pride are pushing for a relationship with a married man. You are being used, no matter how beautifully it is veiled by the man, and by yourself.

A woman who has finally broken a vicious relationship is no doubt on the path of maturity and strength. She will be able to respect herself and calmly look into the eyes of her future husband and any person on earth.

Appreciate yourself

By agreeing to have a relationship with a married man, you live only half. You deserve to build a fulfilling relationship with a person who will be completely devoted to you. Now you don't even share it with another woman. You are just borrowing someone else's time. Find the positives in life without him. To do the right thing, you need to take one decisive step that will only change your life for the better.

The opinion of the clergyman

Archpriest Vladimir (Kovalchuk), rector of the church of St. Vmch. Anastasia the Patterner on Novobelichy (Kyiv)

- Is the betrayal of a spouse considered a reason for debunking a couple?

Yes, the betrayal of one of the spouses is a reason for divorce. Although, in the name of love, spouses need to try to find the strength for reconciliation and forgiveness. And only in the event that the marriage no longer actually exists, you need to put an end to this issue.

What should an Orthodox Christian do if she knows that her husband has a mistress, while the woman wants to save the family?

No matter how selfish it sounds, it all depends on the nature of the woman who wants to save the family. But still, the first thing is to look at yourself. Maybe after many years of sacrifice to the family, try to make time for yourself and put yourself in order (without fanaticism). Second, talk about it with your husband and emphasize that the woman wants to SAVE THE FAMILY. Of course, after this it is very difficult to keep oneself within the Christian-moral framework, but the wife must remain an example to follow, so that the other side does not have the slightest reason for barbs.

If a man still left his wife for a mistress (divorced, married), then the church will no longer condemn the newly made couple?

We cannot condemn or take revenge on anyone, although we really want to. I will not talk about the fact that church penance is imposed on this couple, etc. I'll tell you a worn-out axiom: you can't build your house on the ruins of someone else's family. Of course, in some of the temples they may eventually be married if they hide the reason for the divorce of the previous marriage. Earthly life, like marriage, ends very quickly, and we will all give an answer before one Judge.

Firstly, this is a double sin: fornication and the collapse of someone else's family. Pray to the Lord Jesus Christ, even in your own words, read Psalm 90, and also ask the saints: the Monk Vitaly of Alexandria, the Martyr Thomas of Egypt, the Monk Taisia ​​of Egypt, the Monk Moses Ugrin (his relics are in the Near Caves of the Kiev-Pechersk Lavra). I highly recommend reading about the life of St. Mary of Egypt!

Expert opinion

Natalya Karabuta, psychologist

- What do love triangles that last for years testify to?

Most likely that such a situation suits both husband and wife. Sometimes, the only dissatisfied participant in such a triangle may be the so-called "third corner" - a mistress. She's waiting for something and hoping for something. In such families, where love triangles last for years, often each person has been living his own life for a long time and the fact that there is someone else in the couple no longer excites and does not upset the partners. Another criterion: not noticing the presence of a love affair is convenient, for whatever reason. For example, there is no desire to lose living space, it is unprofitable to share joint property, you do not want to lose your usual status. The third reason: in general, changing something in life is scary. After all, this is an act, a step that is sometimes very difficult for an insecure person to decide. It is easier to hide the conflict and the problem than to solve it. Remember the famous Soviet film "Autumn Marathon", where this situation is described very correctly.

A married man who has a mistress often promises that he is about to divorce. How can a woman understand that this will not happen?

Of course, sometimes it is difficult to understand whether a man will divorce or not, whether his words can be trusted or whether it is worth breaking off the relationship. It is difficult to predict something here, each case is individual, and, rather, it is worth focusing on female psychology, understanding why a woman chooses a married man, why she is ready to wait and be deceived for many years, why should she? Love? Or maybe it's just a desire to get what you want, without thinking about the consequences. Of course, every person has the right to make a mistake, and if people have fallen out of love with each other, it is not worth living and suffering, it is necessary to build new relationships. Often second marriages are happier and more successful than the first, but the question of why such a situation as a divorce arose in the partner’s previous marriage should be clarified in advance. After all, the claims that your lover is now making to his wife, very soon he can express to you.

- How can a woman help herself break the vicious relationship?

The best option is to work on self-esteem. The role of a suffering woman sitting at the door and waiting for a call or the arrival of a loved one in order to spend an unfortunate couple of hours with him, hiding from the whole world, is a humiliating addiction, and this must be understood. Are you waiting for something, hoping for something? Answer for yourself whether you believe that your beloved will really leave his family. Doubt a positive answer? In this case, this is already a sign that the relationship is hopeless. Another nuance: sometimes, in anticipation of a divorce, a woman burns out emotionally, and even if the one whom she has been waiting for so long appears on the threshold of her apartment with a suitcase, she is no longer happy about it. She has waited too long and now she is more tired of the situation than in love with this person. Is it worth spending your life on such an expectation of happiness?