Reason one

And the simplest one: actually, a child or even children. After all, you like a woman, why should this fact make it necessary to take on the burden of raising someone else’s child? Women, as practice has shown, immediately accuse such a position of being “selfish.”

Yes, a man should be an egoist, in the good sense of the word. He is simply obliged to take care of the continuation of HIS family line, the best conditions for his family, for his own children.

From time to time, women let it slip. No, no, something like this will come out of their mouth: “What difference does it make to a man whether the child is his or not. Even better: the most problematic age is behind us.” Yes, there is a difference for men. And what another!

Every normal man (and this is the law of nature) strives to raise HIS children, to pass on his skills, knowledge, wisdom, and property from generation to generation. But I want to do this only for the sake of blood heirs, those children in whom you can observe your own traits and the traits of your family.

Moreover, the law of nature orders the male to spread his seed, his genes, wherever possible. But accepting other people's children is contrary to the very nature of a man. I will not be afraid of criticism and will give an example from the life of the wild: the first thing lions do is kill the children of their female from a previous “marriage.”

Other people's children themselves are a clear reminder of a woman's past belonging to another man.

We want to ask those women who blame men for not wanting to marry a divorcee with a child: are you ready to raise a man’s children from previous marriages?

Reason two

Marrying a woman with a child is simply unnatural. In the normal order of things, a woman enters a man's house and a new family is formed with a man at the head. In the case of a divorce with children, the man enters an already existing (inferior) family, where the head is a woman. Thus, from the very beginning, the traditional, natural family hierarchy, headed by a man, husband, father of the family, is violated. This circumstance in itself calls into question the strength of such a family. It is unlikely that a building based on a “crooked foundation” will be durable.

The mere joining of a man to an already existing family deals a blow to his pride and, to a large extent, determines the nature of the relationship between spouses: the woman is in a state of stable dominance.

Know: for a divorcee with a child, you will always be in third place: she, the child, you. Only in this order. And that's the best case scenario. For very often the role of a surrogate male head of the family is performed by the woman’s mother. She is the unconditional ally of a woman in a previous divorce, and, often, her instigator.

“It’s not even a matter of “hierarchy” as subordination, but rather the priorities of the divorce department. She almost completely transfers her “failed” love for her husband onto her child, especially if it is a son (their words are “I have the most beloved and faithful man, and everyone else is kazly”). A mother who helps also becomes a stronghold of reliability. Well, a woman always remembers about herself, her beloved. Thus, in order for a new man to be able to push them all off his “pedestals,” the divorcee must either fall in love VERY deeply (which is unlikely, since mental energy will still be spent primarily on the child), or really RETHINK her own system of priorities, to understand that a normal(!) man will not be content with at least 4th place in her life.”
BoMG

Reason three

Very often, a woman with a child, seeking to get married again, is looking, first of all, for a provider of material resources who will help her get her child(ren) back on their feet. In relation to this task, the personality of the man himself takes a back seat. This is a completely understandable motivation for a woman, but, of course, a male candidate for husband will not be initiated into its essence. From a woman’s point of view, everything is logical and fair, as it should be: “a man must provide for a woman and children.” The only question is why a man needs this.

Reason four

The fact is that the very fact of a woman’s divorce is a huge disadvantage for her. Let me explain: even if we accept that her “goat ex-husband” is to blame for everything in the world (a very common characteristic of a former spouse presented to a potential new chosen one - by the way, a good indicator, be careful!), then the woman is at least to blame for that that she chose such a husband for herself and such a father for her children.

“Any woman by nature has a mechanism for choosing a strong, intelligent and high-quality male, therefore, when choosing a partner, women are guided by marriage with a real man (nature has never set such a task for a man). Therefore, it is the woman who bears the responsibility for the wrong choice of her husband and divorce.”
Smart ass

In practice, both spouses are to blame for the destruction of the relationship. However, the woman is largely responsible for the psychological climate in the family. Think about what's behind her divorce. Inability to build or maintain relationships? Bad character? Extreme selfishness? Excessive demands on a man? Irresponsibility? Treason? The low value of family as such in her eyes? Don't know. In any case, some of the above is present to one degree or another, and more often - everything mentioned in varying proportions and relationships. Let's remember the statistics: 75-80% of divorces occur on the initiative of women.

“The fact that divorcees for the most part are worthless wives, on whom life itself has already marked them as III grade, is not a stamp, but the realities of life.”
Smart ass

Most women do not have a critical mind, and it is unlikely that a divorcee would draw the right conclusions from her divorce. Women often like to repeat that “all people are different, she just might have been unlucky with her husband.” As a rule, they themselves sincerely believe in such “bad luck.” It is very difficult for a woman to admit her own guilt in divorce, as in everything else. Almost impossible.

“Unfortunately, women often go the wrong way, and society strongly encourages them in this. In the media, the situation when a man and a woman get divorced much more often is interpreted in the sense that you are so melting, but the man did not appreciate it, etc. and so on. Films, books, talk shows (this is a completely separate conversation), advice from friends (stupid and, as a result, equally unsettled), songs... Everywhere it’s the same thing - “Get divorced? You're right!" There is not even a hint of analysis of the situation and attempts to draw the right conclusions from it.”
Smart ass

Reason five

I'll start right away with a quote:

“A divorced woman who has a child (this is exactly what we mean by the word divorcee) is no longer as naive and pure as a girl who has no negative life experience (it’s not a matter of virginity).
Of course, life experience will not hurt anyone, BUT ONLY IF THE CORRECT CONCLUSIONS ARE MADE FROM IT. Otherwise, the experience is not only not useful, BUT ALSO HARMFUL, since it leads to excessive suspicion, callousness, a mercantile attitude towards men and other nuances of character that will not help, but will harm the divorcee in life.”
Smart ass

In other words, a divorcee is far from a “blank sheet of paper.”

They are armed with a ready-made and tested set of manipulative templates, a whole arsenal of behavioral patterns of a defensive-offensive nature, prejudice and suspicion. Of course, this applies to far from intelligent women, but what can you do if they are the overwhelming majority.

“The breakdown of the marriage itself indicates the presence of pathologies in her psyche, congenital or acquired (for every taste - from bitchiness to the search for a prince and hidden hatred of men). On average, a divorced woman has more cockroaches in her head compared to an unmarried woman. Are they crushed? Most likely not.”
Ioann Vasilievich

Reason six

And the last one. In any undertaking, probable prospects should be taken into account. In the case of marrying a divorced woman with a child, there can be a lot of pitfalls. Well, here are a few at a glance:

The relationship with the child (children) will not work out, the child’s possible jealousy or his reluctance to see someone else in his father’s place;

Pedagogical “triangle”: you can’t let everything go and forgive the child, but you also can’t go too far and thus run into the displeasure of the mother, who suspects you of being biased towards someone else’s child;

There are quite a lot of cases when a woman considers her maternal program to have already been completed and the man’s desire to have children together is ignored;

Having the biological father of the child(ren) somewhere near your family is unlikely to enrich your family life with positive aspects;

All attempts to talk about the shortcomings of divorced women as potential brides are most often perceived with hostility by the women themselves and infuriate them. The counterarguments, if they can be considered such, look something like this:

“But my friend/sister/acquaintance/I myself got married with a child (children), they live happily, he loves the child (children) very much” and all that. So “the main thing is love; it’s very easy for a divorcee with a child to get married.” This is where you are very mistaken. Or rather, you are deceiving yourself: the fact is that the main property of exceptions is that they are striking, attract attention and remain in memory for a long time. Yes, there are such examples, and you excitedly name them. You forget one thing: you didn’t count those who DIDN’T MARRY divorced women with children, and I assure you there are hundreds of times more of them.

Women in general very often pass off what they WANT as reality; the truth of a statement in a woman’s eyes often directly depends on whether she likes it or not. Divorced women and women who are considering divorce in the future really like the idea that a divorcee with children has the SAME CHANCES of getting married, they are psychologically more comfortable to think that this is so, but alas, this strong desire does not make this “equality of chances” true.

A “real man” (with a breath and an impressive accentuating pause!) will love the children of the woman he loves, only such a “real” one is capable of such love, care, tenderness, dedication, etc. (drool to taste). Weak people, “muschmen” are not capable of such love, of real feeling.”

To this you should answer: “Ladies, dear ones, don’t try to speculate on this hackneyed pseudo-concept of a “real man,” because in your eyes, the “realness” of a man lies in satisfying your own “wants,” in accordance with your attitudes and, often, in subordination to you and under your control. Therefore, I am sincerely glad that I am not so “real” in your eyes, I am sure that I will never be like that, just like millions of other men. Don’t waste time, energy and words on juicy epithets and “guesses” about ourselves, our sexual orientation, the severity of childhood, resentment towards women, etc. It’s better to devote these minutes to your children.”

Hello, dear women! Recently, one of my clients asked an interesting question: how men treat women with children. I started researching this topic, conducted a social survey and received quite interesting answers. It is impossible to say unequivocally that all men treat girls with children well or badly. But this is true in any matter. Let's look into it in more detail, and at the same time we will find out at what point it is best to tell about your baby and what to do if boyfriends constantly run away after learning the truth.

Two sides of the same coin

As in any other issue, here we have two camps: guys who are great with other people’s children and for them this is not a problem, and guys who will never throw in their lot with a divorced woman with a burden on her hands.

There are some men who spoke very categorically about girls with a baby in their arms. Their main arguments were that she herself could not keep her ex-husband, that they were not going to take responsibility for raising someone else’s child, and that they did not need an abandoned woman.

Here we can talk about either very serious grievances and problems in the past, or about unwillingness to take on such responsibility. When a man faces a problem, he tries to avoid similar situations in the future. But this applies to women too.

Anyone will fear situations that remind them of past pain or failure.

As for responsibility, the guy simply may not be ready for such a turn of events yet. He didn’t even think about starting a family, but here was a ready-made and almost adult child. Therefore, he will have a negative attitude towards young ladies with children. He just wants to go for a walk, ease and simplicity in relationships. But it won’t work that way with a child.

There are others too. Those who are not only ready to raise the children of the woman they love, but also really want to have children together. Among these there are many divorced men who themselves have children from their first marriage.

They understand perfectly well that anything can happen in life. That divorce does not put a stigma on a person and does not say that since the husband left the woman, it means that she is not capable of anything. After all, situations are different.

There are also representatives of the stronger sex who adore children and for them this is not only not a problem, but also a real joy. They are ready to treat children as if they were their own family and for them there is nothing wrong with that.

Of course, there is also a neutral side. Some guys answered that, by and large, they don’t care whether a potential young lady has children or not, but they won’t intentionally look for such a relationship.

Therefore, do not think that all men have a negative attitude towards this issue. But you shouldn’t think that everyone you meet will happily raise your son or daughter. It all depends on the situation and the person himself. Read the article “” and you will see that nothing is impossible.

Choose a tactic

When you communicate with a guy, sooner or later the moment comes when you need to talk about the child. Some women are very straightforward and open. They immediately inform the potential suitor that she is not alone and that a little man is going with her to boot. The tactic is not bad, it allows you to immediately understand how seriously a man takes you.

But such directness can scare off a person, although he may not be against children. There are softer tactics. For example, invite a young man to a place where there are usually a lot of children and parents with children. This way you can see the guy’s reaction and see if he treats kids well in general.

The most losing tactic is to remain silent until the last moment. Anyway, sooner or later the young man will find out everything. And the longer you remain silent, the more you will offend him in the end. After all, such silence will be equated to mistrust, to secrets and secrets. What else are you hiding from him?

When is the best time for a man to tell him about his child? It’s up to you to choose. Look at the situation and the man. And remember about the baby. After all, he should be ready to meet your new gentleman. And his feelings should be your priority.

Don't get hung up

If you can’t find a worthy, loving and understanding guy, then don’t despair and give up. It's just not the time yet. You will definitely meet your man. In the meantime, take care of yourself, your career and raising your baby.

Take care of your appearance. Start going to yoga or just going to the gym. There you can meet new people and learn something new and interesting. Change your wardrobe, take a makeup or styling course.

In addition to your appearance, take care of your inner world. Fill yourself with new information, be open to everything and everyone. Read more and together with your baby. Go to the cinema, theater.

An interesting woman attracts more attention, remember this. Especially for you, I have a great article that will help you not worry about having a partner - “”.

Of course, a complete family is good. But a loving, caring mother is also great!

Spend more time together. Get to know your child and help him achieve his goals. Don't focus only on your personal life. This will not benefit either you or the baby. But don’t forget that happy children grow up with happy parents.

Get a career. Listen to people older than you and learn new things. Don't stand still thinking you've reached your maximum. If you have already reached good heights in your profession, then find a hobby for yourself. A new activity and hobby is a great way to be happy. In addition, everything new brings unexpected pleasures into our lives, and this cannot but rejoice.

Remember, every person deserves happiness. And you will definitely find your worthy prince, who will madly love you and your baby. Just don't focus on relationships and take care of yourself and your children. Love will come unexpectedly.

How do you feel about divorced men with children? How many relationships have you had since your divorce? How do guys usually react to your announcement about a child?

Wish you all the best!