Hello!
We have been married for 8 years, I am 31, my wife is 30. We have no children, we put it off all the time (either my wife was looking for a job, then health problems, or something else, there were always reasons, but they were never discussed in a calm manner, only on emotions) .I myself am a quick-tempered person, I can get excited at half a turn, but I quickly go away. My wife is calm, but stubborn; if we quarrel, she doesn’t move away very quickly, but I, seeing that we were communicating normally, began to believe that the conflict was over. Although we had to calmly discuss everything. And before the New Year, she says that maybe it’s worth getting a divorce. This was said after celebrating her corporate party. Previously, in the heat of emotions, such conversations also arose, but then everything seemed to calm down and life went on. This time in the morning, instead of calm conversations, we again talked emotionally and went to her parents to congratulate her on the holiday, then we returned, and the next day she said that she did not understand why she returned. This time we discussed everything quietly and peacefully, we even made some decisions: getting pregnant, discussed issues of everyday life, recreation, etc. But this was not a discussion of our problems in general and point by point, but only some global things were mentioned (although, apparently, it was worth focusing on everything). In general, we talked. And they began to prepare for the New Year. Met with friends. In the morning, she announced that she wanted to go to her parents and live with them (who were leaving the city for the holidays), and she left. I called in the evening and agreed that she would return in the morning. She returned with the words that since I don’t want her to live alone all the holidays, she will go with her parents out of town. I tried to discuss everything with her, all the points that did not suit us, I said that she should go and come back after the holidays. The answer is no. When she returned, she stayed with her parents and refused my requests to meet and talk. A couple of days ago I offered to meet. When we met, she said that she wanted to discuss how she could pick up the things, come with a truck and take everything at once, she didn’t want to upset me, she wanted to take it out gradually herself. I’m not ready for this, to be taken away in parts when I’m not at home, I still want that. I tried to convey the idea again that we shouldn’t ruin everything like that and we need to discuss our problems and try to build a life taking into account what was said. Answer: no. I don’t want any relationship with you, I don’t want to try, even if there is a chance that everything will be fine, I don’t want to use it either. She doesn’t discuss the situation with her parents at all, she only says that she wants to be alone. I understand that now it is better not to touch or irritate a person. I try not to write or call. Last week I gave flowers, then congratulated me on the Old New Year (after all, this is my beloved wife). I have no idea what to do. Now she, as she says, is very good. What is true, I don’t swear, I don’t make a scandal, no one makes any claims, etc. When we met, she said that she already had boyfriends (which is not surprising, she has a well-paid job, a good car, and they were thinking about moving to a new apartment). Yes, I was jealous of my friends, of my work, I did something wrong. But according to her, there were a lot of good things during this time. But so far I can only remember the bad, unfortunately. I love her very much. All my thoughts and actions have always been based on the fact that we have a family, that I have a beloved wife. I can’t imagine and don’t understand what to do now. If I don’t disturb her and let her figure it out on her own, then won’t I be wasting time? But I also don’t want to let everything take its course. It’s impossible to just tell yourself not to love a person. She continues some contacts with our mutual friends, but to any questions from them, she also replies that she has made a decision, and that there is no point in discussing with me that she will return, since she has already decided everything. Please give me advice on how to deal with this situation.
After all, despite its thousand-year history, man, as he was, remains, in his biological essence, a predator. Well, killing is completely natural for a predator. The husband left and does not want to return. 40-year-old Vitaly left the family a year ago, but all this time he maintained friendly relations with his wife. She brought him to see a psychologist. He made excuses that his mistress, of course, is better... but his wife is his own, like a sister or mother, and that he cannot erase her from his life. And most importantly: he is so used to her food and evening tea with lemon! The unlucky husband resembled “Pavlov’s dog”, which is connected with its owner only by instincts. In such situations, most often, wives do not give up and strive with all their might for further growth and self-development.
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You can't stop looking after yourself. Otherwise, the woman will lose self-respect, and this is fraught with certain negative consequences. In most cases, shopping acts on the fair sex as effective psychotherapy.
We must remember that the other woman to whom the husband left is no better, she just got in his way. You need to make an effort to cope with the situation and survive the mental turmoil.
Feeling your own irresistibility will give you self-confidence and dispel fears and doubts. Hobbies What activity can give a person moral satisfaction and help him survive a personal tragedy? This includes individual hobbies.
If a business brings tremendous joy, regardless of the amount of material income, then it is truly useful.
The husband left the family and does not want to return.
Regardless of whether he returns to you or not, you need to continue to live, especially if you have children together. Psychologists advise a woman to take care of herself, her appearance and self-improvement.
Visit a beauty salon, change your image, hairstyle, clothing style. Find a new passion or hobby. Go on a trip, learn to draw, or, ultimately, go on a diet if you have long wanted to lose weight.
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Now you have a great opportunity to spend time for yourself and your children. Become more attractive and sexy than ever, and you will see how men turn around to look after you.
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At the same time, it is quite possible that after some time, the ex-spouse will begin to notice shortcomings in the new passion, and suddenly, he will notice you surrounded by other admirers. Surely the owner will awaken in him, and the desire to return to a woman attractive in all respects.
Unfortunately, for many women the question of how to survive the departure of a husband for another is incredibly relevant. If the husband left for his mistress, it means that something really didn’t suit him. The psychology of the stronger sex is such that a man never goes anywhere. First of all, emotional contact is lost, and uncertainty appears in the feelings of the partner. As a rule, some time after the breakup, a decision is made to leave. He simply can no longer listen to the same reproaches or experience repeated situations.
Self-esteem Unfortunately, many women forget about this basic concept. They devote themselves entirely to the man, so that later they have to pay for the husband to leave for his mistress. The fact is that men cannot stand it when people try to control them.
Why do men leave and come back?
Psychologist's advice for women on how to get a man back
- PILLS for stupidity or something about life, love, and a little simple chatter
- How to understand that your ex wants to return and help him with this
- My husband doesn't want to let go and doesn't want to come back
- Why does a man leave a woman and... come back?
- What if he left? Part 1: Why do men leave?
- Life stories: Men leave and return
- My husband left and now he wants to come back
- My husband left and doesn't want to come back
- Forum of Knowledge about Life
- How to get your loved one back
- How to bring your husband home
Why do men leave women? Advice from a psychologist for women on how to get a man back Give a signal that what he left (scandals, for example) will never happen again, and especially this negative thing no longer exists! (You can say: “I will never again...”).
Forum of Knowledge about Life The purpose of this site is to unite professional psychologists, enthusiasts from various religions and spiritual practices in order to help people who find themselves in difficult situations. We, all together, will collect here the most understandable and necessary knowledge for life from all areas of psychology, spiritual texts and teachings.
Attention: Our forum is moving to Raminform forums. We ask everyone How to get your loved one back And even if you find coincidences between your behavior and the reasons why your husband leaves home, this is not a reason to be upset. I’ll even say the opposite: the fact that you identified these mistakes is already your victory.
This is a step towards restoring the relationship. To fix something, you first need to know the location of the breakdown. So, if you don’t know how to find a common language, then the result will be endless scandals and squabbles.
How to bring your husband home Relationships in families develop differently.
My husband left. how to return it and is it worth it?
And rightly, sincerely, he said that you crushed the man in him. You have become this man. Olga, this is only yours: fortitude, the desire to change something.
How? 1. Exhale deeply, accept the situation as such, as it is. Stay in it with feelings, not thoughts, running around (it’s necessary, it’s difficult, I don’t have time). What do you feel: weakness or strength? A feeling of pride, “I’m great, I can do it, I can handle it,” or fear, powerlessness, panic? What feelings still overcome you? Write down these feelings. And from this the further direction of your actions will be clear. After all, in fact, you yourself kicked out your husband for a long time, and, perhaps, without understanding this (because it is accepted that a family should be complete when a woman lives on her own - this is “ah-ah-tea”), you long ago made the decision to raise yourself daughter and become a superwoman. And that's okay.
Is it possible to return a husband to the family if he does not want to communicate?
But each time it was a reason to again, in a new way, reveal love in oneself: not attachment, claims, resentments. But just love. Each of us let go of the past - and we met again to walk together again.
But in order to take a step forward, you need to reveal love without holding a grudge, without feeling sorry for yourself, without blaming each other. And to do this you need to accept what happened and move on. Of course, it is not easy to accept something in which we see no meaning if its departure ends our desires and hopes. Life stories: Men leave and return which are connected with the owner only by instincts. In such situations, most often, wives do not give up and strive with all their might for further growth and self-development. Therefore, they will think 100 times: am I ready to take this property back? At first, husbands who have left for their mistresses are held back by passion. And then an irrepressible longing for their former home awakens in them.
My husband left and doesn't want to come home
And when he comes, give it to him, that is, stop doing what you were doing before the breakup. But, if a man or guy has left for another, then you need to wait.
Wait and change yourself. To change, you cannot first change your behavior, you need to change your attitude and learn to manage your feelings, and a psychologist should help you with this in a psychological consultation. PILLS for stupidity or something about life, about love, and a little simple chatter It’s you who can’t find a place for yourself, thinking: “Maybe I’m not beautiful enough. My figure is probably not that good anymore, I need to go to the gym. Skirt, I haven't worn a skirt for a long time! No, I guess I’ve forgotten how to cook.” And so from morning to evening you blow your mind with questions to yourself. And what happens is that you’re just a nightmare, that you can’t go anywhere with you, you’re stupid, ugly and fat, you don’t know how to cook and in general everything is bad.
Then financial problems began due to his fault, and I did not miss the opportunity to rub his nose in him. She herself became ill and was hospitalized several times over the course of a year. ...he was smart, he looked after me and I am very grateful to him for that. But the situation did not improve, but worsened more and more... he began to go on business trips, came home at night, in the morning, or did not come at all, saying that he had a drink with friends and stayed at work. I argued with him, but then we made up. In the end, we moved away from each other.
After another stupid quarrel, he left and took his things. I have a few things left, mostly winter ones. And nothing more.
We haven't seen each other for almost two months now. We rarely communicate, and that’s only if I call him or write to him on Viber. I told him that I love him and I really need him, and asked him to come home. He said that he didn’t want to come back and wasn’t attracted to me. Lives in an apartment, I am at home with the children. Helps with money.
Question for a psychologist:
Hello, my husband and I have lived together for 6 years, he is 7 years younger than me, and now he is 27, and I will soon be 34, we have a 3-year-old daughter. A year before leaving, we constantly quarreled and argued about literally everything. I was freaking out while on maternity leave - household chores, care and worry about a child who was often sick, boredom, routine and a husband who came home not to me, but to the sofa and TV. She kicked him out herself, but naturally with the subtext “change your behavior.” As a result, 4 months ago he left, on his own initiative, saying that I was so melting, bad in every way and that I had crushed the guy in him. To which I answered him that he crushed the woman in me and I was just a horse who carried everything on himself, solving all the issues, he didn’t delve into anything. Then it turned out that he got himself a woman, however, they hung out for 1-2 months and ran away, now a free guy hangs around everywhere. And I have a lot of complaints and grievances towards him, but mostly regarding the child. He doesn’t want to see her or look at her (although in words he’s a super dad), she reaches out to him, and at the same time he’s texting on his phone and stuff like that. I tried to explain that the child should not suffer and feel the father’s love, in general, I put pressure on the father’s conscience, he seemed to agree, and then he hammered again. He left us, I was unemployed, I searched for a long time for a schedule that would allow me to pick up the child, he only paid child support, didn’t ask how we were and what, he paid for registration every other time, even though he knew that I didn’t work. I called him home 3 times, I thought maybe he would lose his temper, he said that once he left, it was forever. He personally told me that he would never help in any way, although after we separated (I may be out of guilt), I tried to support him and help him change his job (they don’t extend contact with him). I feed him somewhere, but he treats me like an annoying fly. I don’t understand anything anymore, I feel sorry for the child, I feel sorry for myself and him too. There is a deep lack of understanding of how you can leave and forget about everything. Our relationship began with great love, everyone was jealous and I don’t understand how we got to this point. I still have feelings for him and a lot of resentment, which doesn’t help. During this time I have lost weight, become more beautiful, I want a strong shoulder, but disappointment in men directly kills the desire to communicate with them, and low self-esteem. I really believed and trusted him. I wanted to improve the relationship, but after constant refusals to help with the child (for example: we agreed that he would pick her up from kindergarten, because I don’t have time at work, I think at least some kind of help, I took 2 weeks, and then said, more precisely, before He established as a fact that he would soon go to his brother’s house to help build a house, I said how to pick up the child, and he asked for time off at work, and I have a job with a private owner, they can kick me out and that’s all and how to feed myself, the next day he said that he would not go and reproach started, supposedly I didn’t let him go), I was already so angry that I called and said that he would go wherever he wants and when he wants, that if he can’t help, then there’s no need, that he just wouldn’t come at all, otherwise I’ll say, that he died. Of course, I overdid it, I’m just already in such despair that my job is not stable and I don’t really have any help, and I’m also always to blame for everything. I’m so tired, I don’t know how to live, I’m really overcome with despair. Of course, I myself am largely to blame, when I get angry, I say anything, but is it really impossible to help while the child is small and the work is like this. Despite the fact that the child was born long-awaited. At least he had a good day. What to do in such a situation? It already seems to me that I’m somehow different, if only I had finances, it would be like consultations. There’s probably something wrong with me, I wanted one family for the rest of my life and that’s how it all turned out.
Psychologist Marina Georgievna Ladatko answers the question.
Good day, Olga. I apologize for not answering for a long time.
In fact, you are wonderful) I can assume from the letter that you are very temperamental and honest - frank. This is your beauty in a good sense - the person next to you will never receive a “knife in the back”, and you will be free from bad thoughts about the person - you do not carry them with you (expressed them and freed yourself). Accordingly, there is less ground for back pain. And the second side of your honesty is that it touches another person’s heartstrings. To be offended or not, to change or not, this is another person’s decision. And it’s hard for that other person to accept your truth, it’s hard to change, it’s hard to withstand criticism.
Olga, you are a strong woman, you cope with everything (even though it’s not hard, you can handle it!). Therefore, your husband has no space to express himself. He feels that next to you he goes out. And rightly, sincerely, he said that you crushed the man in him. You have become this man. Olga, this is only yours: fortitude, the desire to change something. How?
1. Exhale deeply, accept the situation as such, as it is. Stay in it with feelings, not thoughts, running around (it’s necessary, it’s difficult, I don’t have time). What do you feel: weakness or strength? A feeling of pride: “I’m great - I can do it, I can handle it” or fear, powerlessness, panic? What feelings still overcome you? Write down these feelings. And from this the further direction of your actions will be clear.
After all, in fact, you yourself kicked out your husband for a long time, and, perhaps, without understanding this (because it is accepted that the family should be complete when a woman lives on her own - this is “ah-ah-tea”), you long ago made the decision to raise yourself daughter and become a superwoman. And that's okay. If this is natural for you, more comfortable than with your husband, whom you are attracted to, with whom you quarrel, then simply accept yourself and your life as such.
If you want to live “like everyone else, as a complete family,” and even with this person, you will have to work, become wiser and learn to trust yourself, life and men.
2. If you have decided to live as a complete family: write a letter of forgiveness to your husband (it is not necessary to send or convey, the main thing is to write down your feelings). Write with feelings, write everything that is on your soul. At the end of the letter, remember and write words of gratitude to this person (for 6 years, in addition to the negativity, there was something pleasant, and the husband’s departure itself is also the start of some changes).
3. Learn to trust the world (and there are different people in it, which means learning to trust both women and men competently: believe in their good qualities, intentions and let go of situations when a person does not live up to your expectations).
4. Olga, work on your self-esteem and confidence: you’ve lost weight, you’ve gotten prettier - great! What about the internal content? How has it changed, is it changing every day? Praise yourself for every step you take in life: plan, live in pleasure (this is in communication with your daughter, and in household chores, and in hobbies, and in work - have time to track and get drunk).
5. Olga, know that the child will feel good when the mother is calm, strong and confident. This builds the child's confidence. Yes, you need a father, but suffering and feelings of guilt that he is not with you will not make the child feel any better. Understand that your relationship with your husband is yours, but your daughter and dad have their own. She will accept him as he is. The main thing is that she understands that he exists and loves her (believe me, he loves her! It’s hard for a man to come to his daughter when he realizes that he lives separately, it’s hard for him to see her and understand that he left her). Give your husband time for this (3 months, a year - it’s different for everyone). When talking with him, praise him for the smallest and greatest deeds, achievements, avoid judgment and criticism, say that your daughter loves him and is waiting for him, regardless of your relationship with him.
Olga, strength and wisdom to you. Everything will work out the way you want. How do you want it?
Sincerely, your psychologist - Marina Georgievna Ladatko.
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According to recently verified sociological surveys, today such an unpleasant state of affairs as the departure of a beloved man from the family is far from uncommon and is familiar to almost 2/3 of that category of the world population, which is the fairer sex.
In addition, just in the last 30 years, a number of married couples sooner or later come to the conclusion that they can no longer be together, and that the only way out in this situation is either to move.
It is noteworthy, but as a rule, it is men, and it is they who are more mentally unstable.
But there is also good news, because according to psychologists, in absolutely any situation you can find optimal solutions that will help correct even the most seemingly insurmountable life circumstances.
Therefore, at a time when the husband does not want to return to the family or intends to file for divorce, the woman needs to calm down and remember that there are no hopeless situations.
Why do men leave their families?
Experts in the field of relationships between married couples say that before taking any action to return the spouse back to the family nest, you need to understand the reasons for this categorical decision.
Any official or well knows that there are plenty of external and internal reasons for the husband’s departure in family life.
Sometimes the culprit of a breakup can be a woman and her inflated, oppressive and often unjustified demands on her man and the male sex in general. But, as practice shows, this state of affairs is far from fundamental and by no means the main reason.
As a rule, a man makes the final decision based on his own considerations. Most often this is due to one’s own dissatisfaction in career or sport.
That is why, trying to prove their importance to themselves and others by hook or by crook, the strong half of humanity decides to change everything radically.
And also socially isolate, divorce your wife or leave your family, that is, start your life from scratch.
Today, modern sexologists say: monotony or the frequent absence of intimate life between loving spouses sooner or later cools even the most tender and passionate family relationships.
The reason for a husband leaving his wife can be not only psychological discomfort, but also the lack of a full sex life.
What to do if the husband does not want to return to the family?
As practice shows, that category of men who do not intend to leave their family, but absolutely do not notice their spouse or completely ignore her, most likely cheat on their missus with different ladies on the side or with one constant mistress.
In this situation, from the point of view of not only psychology, but also common sense, it makes no sense to blame a man for such dissolute behavior.
All that a wife can achieve in this situation is a raised scandal and her husband leaving the family for a rival. Experts recommend talking personally and as delicately as possible with your spouse..
Such a unique conversation can, at a minimum, help both the woman and the man himself clearly understand what exactly they are not satisfied with in fulfilling their marital duties and completely change their behavior in bed.
In addition, as positive psychological dynamics show, making mutual adjustments and fulfilling all the sexual fantasies of your beloved spouse have already managed to save more than one family union.
Another common reason for the cooling of relations between husband and wife is the uninteresting and uneducated lifestyle of a woman.
Of course, ideally, it is better to begin to develop together both intellectually and psychologically from the first days of married life.
But due to prolonged maternity leave or fatigue from household chores, women most often neglect this golden rule. In this regard, the mental gap between spouses becomes larger and larger every year.
Just in order to soften the rough edges and have an exemplary family, in the twenty-first century there is a large number of family psychotherapists, special literature and psychological trainings that quite clearly explain to a woman how to behave correctly with her husband.
Is it worth trying to get your husband back?
Try to answer yourself a very personal and sensitive question - do you love your husband? Did you want to live with him until the end of your days?
It seems to them that no matter how much time passes, they will not be able to survive the betrayal. Negative feelings literally overwhelm you and prevent you from feeling happy and self-sufficient. When a wife loves her husband and he leaves for another, it always becomes a severe shock. At such moments, a woman stops believing in the best and does not know how to survive the current circumstances. For many people, being abandoned means actually losing their individuality and relevance. Working on your appearance It is very important for a woman to be able to maintain her beauty. How to cope if your husband leaves for someone else? You definitely need to take care of yourself. We must not forget about your hairstyle, individual preferences, and special style of clothing. After a spouse leaves for his mistress, significant efforts must be made to regain oneself. This is a very important step that no one will take instead of a woman whose husband is leaving her.
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The woman accuses the man of not wanting to be responsible for the family and only wanting to hang out with friends and have affairs. In fact, it is a rare man who would exchange a comfortable and well-fed stay with a caring wife for the unbridled fun of hungry bachelor nights. Most often, he has another woman who is more caring and more able to provide comfort.
But it is difficult for a woman to admit her own failure. Men get over breakups easily. If from the outside it seems that he is having fun with friends, then in most cases it only seems so. Men also find it difficult to cope with the collapse of their usual life and it is also difficult for them to part, they just don’t cry on their girlfriend’s shoulder, but try to pretend that everything is fine.
In fact, it’s difficult for him too. According to statistics, marriages in which the man and woman share household responsibilities in half are much more likely to break up.
The husband left the family and does not want to return.
Olga, work on your self-esteem and confidence: you’ve lost weight, you’ve gotten prettier - great! What about the internal content? How has it changed, is it changing every day? Praise yourself for every step you take in life: plan, live in pleasure (this is in communication with your daughter, and in household chores, and in hobbies, and in work - have time to track and get drunk). 5. Olga, know that the child will feel good when the mother is calm, strong and confident. This builds the child's confidence. Yes, you need a father, but suffering and feelings of guilt that he is not with you will not make the child feel any better.
Understand that your relationship with your husband is yours, but your daughter and dad have their own. She will accept him as he is. The main thing is that she understands that he exists and loves her (believe me, he loves her! It’s hard for a man to come to his daughter when he realizes that he lives separately, it’s hard for him to see her and understand that he left her).
In any case, the desire to return a man after your husband has left deserves attention if your goal is to revive the family and feelings between you. Sometimes this is indeed possible. 1. Talk to HIM You are adults, civilized people, and therefore it’s great if you can just calm down and talk about what happened and why your husband left. Figure out why your feelings have faded, how you can return them, and whether it’s worth doing.
A good option is to live separately for a while to understand the situation. However, keep in mind that you should not delay the deadlines - 5-7 days will be quite enough. What to do if your husband left due to your fault? Ask for forgiveness.
If you don't know what your fault is, ask your spouse why he is angry with you. Every person has his own shortcomings, but not everyone notices them.
Why do men leave and come back?
Psychologists do not consider this tactic correct. It is better for a woman to maintain self-confidence. Even if you are truly offended, your ex-spouse should not see this. Behave naturally, dress tastefully, smile, and don’t forget to take care of yourself.
But the main thing here is not to overact, because it may seem that you want to hurt your husband. Why is it important not to play the victim? Because when men leave, they often try to escape from problems, from their boring everyday life, from their always nagging wife. The husband will not want to return to his wife who shows her resentment.
Yes, and demonstratively. Why does he need this headache? Today she is showing off her grievances, and tomorrow she will start nagging again. Start working on yourself. A husband who has decided to return to the family should not think that he will again plunge into the old atmosphere, which, in fact, was the reason for leaving.
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It seemed to you that everything was normal in your family life, but the fact that the passion between you and your husband had disappeared did not scare you? It's no wonder that one terrible day you find him packing his things. Yes, he has another woman and he leaves for her. Or he wants to live alone and enjoy freedom. What to do if your husband leaves? Is it possible to restore the relationship or should you not even try? We invite you to talk about this and much more right now.
What to do if your husband leaves for someone else 1. First, answer one important question: do you know for sure that your husband is about to leave, or does it seem to you? Women often tend to overthink things. For example, a man may be busy with a new project that takes away all his energy during the working day. Naturally, after this he will not be able to give you maximum attention.
My husband left. how to return it and is it worth it?
The desire to get your husband back after your husband has left may be due to the fact that you love him madly. But there may also be other reasons. For example, many women return their husbands out of fear of being left alone. Believe me, loneliness will be felt even more strongly if two strangers coexist under the same roof.
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So, most likely, this is not the best way to ensure a happy life for yourself and your husband. Therefore, not always doing something if your husband has left for his return is a good solution for both of you. Sometimes they return their husbands out of pity for themselves. Another reason may be the desire to raise children in a complete family.
However, in the latter case it will only get worse. This way the child will witness your alienation, as a result of which he will develop a similar model of behavior in relationships with the opposite sex.
Is it possible to return a husband to the family if he does not want to communicate?
The main thing is to experience joy from the process itself, then you won’t regret the time spent. People sometimes deny themselves pleasures and do not allow themselves to do what they are really good for. Hobbies help restore peace of mind and believe in yourself again.
After all, self-esteem after the departure of a loved one decreases significantly. We must try our best to return it. Working with a psychologist Some people, for some unknown reason, are embarrassed to seek help from specialists. They think that by doing so they will reveal their own weakness.
In fact, there are many benefits to working with a psychologist. A specialist will help you understand the problem and point out the reasons that are hidden deep in the subconscious. Individual psychological consultations will help you realize your own mistakes, believe in yourself, and look at the situation from the outside.
My husband left and doesn't want to come home
Good day, Olga. I apologize for not answering for a long time. In fact - you are wonderful) I can assume from the letter that you are very temperamental and honest - frank. This is your beauty in a good sense - the person next to you will never get “a knife in the back”, and you will be free from bad thoughts about the person - you do not carry them with you (expressed them and freed yourself). Accordingly, there is less ground for back pain. And the second side of your honesty is that it touches another person’s heartstrings. To be offended or not, to change or not, this is another person’s decision. And for that other person, it’s hard to accept your truth, it’s hard to change, it’s hard to withstand criticism. Olga, you are a strong woman, you cope with everything (even though it’s not hard, you can handle it!). Therefore, your husband has no space to express himself. He feels that next to you he goes out.
And why did the wife decide that, in explaining himself, he was repenting? Maybe he just wanted to convey his position to her, justify his departure, name his reasons? As we see, an erroneous understanding of the husband’s motives deepens the divide between the former spouses. Especially if his wife, who imagines herself a winner, begins to criticize his new chosen one. A completely wrong tactic that will sow new shoots of mistrust! If the husband decided to explain himself, then why bring the person of the homewrecker into the conversation about the prospects of your family? You're going to talk about each other, right? As psychologists say, “third extras” are not needed here. The mask of a victim also does not suit you. Some women, in attempts to return their husbands, on the contrary, strive to play the role of a victim. Like, you are so and so, you offended me, left my children without a father, etc. and so on. But if, they say, you come back, then I will forgive everything.
